


Unknown

by Crazyaniknowit



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A/B/O, AHH, Allurance may develop too, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Canon Compliant, Coran is the best, Coran the space dad, Dubious Consent, Eventual mpreg, Galra Keith (Voltron), Keith is a little ball of confusion, M/M, Mild body horror?, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mpreg, No Underage Sex, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Keith (Voltron), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Season 1, Shiro is not far behind, Underage Masturbation, actual non-con, as far as events, basically keith has heats and humans do not, brief keith/regris, discussions of suicide and depression, forgot to add with mpreg there is eventual lactation too XD, if you read this far I applaud you, it's complicated - Freeform, mostly due to confusion, naxcella drama, nobody knows what the fuck is going on, references of malnourishment, sex-pollen (kinda), shiro and keith get into a relationship rather quickly after he gets back, some squicks, strange anatomy, the real mvp, time skips galore, until they get to outer space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2019-09-25 08:36:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 146,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17118026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazyaniknowit/pseuds/Crazyaniknowit
Summary: Keith isn't completely human. But he doesn't know that, and when he starts growing mysteriously..."ill"... at regular intervals after he turns 16, it's confusing. Not so confusing as the fact that these bouts of sickness make him think things he shouldn't about his one and only friend. And they make him want things far more uncouth than his thoughts.As for Shiro, all he can surmise is that Keith seems to get the flu every so often.(This story goes a bit wild, buckle your seatbelts)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this for months, like since before season 6, so for one...Adam doesn't exist in this particular AU and there's no room to edit him in with how early Shiro and Keith start their relationship. 
> 
> Keith is literally like a cat, sans tail and ears (even though that would be adorable).
> 
> As for all the ABO this entails:  
> Keith has heats every 4-6 months. He nests, gathering blankets and the like. He has a sensitive sense of smell (and during his heat some smells act like aphrodisiacs). He's ultra-sensitive to touch. He also has scent glands under his jaw so he likes to rub those on Shiro and Shiro has absolutely no fucking idea what he's doing.  
> Slick assholes are a thing lol. Some strange anatomy involved as Keith is fertile (not exactly the same as intersex), so if you didn't see in the tags there _IS_ eventual **Mpreg** please be aware.  
> His first heat is more like an actual flu than anything, and omegas aren't supposed to do anything during their first.  
> Stress, depression, and undernourishment can halt heats.  
> More to be explained as we go on and if questions are asked I'll answer them in these notes. I'm excited to get started and I hope you guys like the idea as much as I did when it came to me.  
> (Keith is 16 at the start, Shiro is 20, they met a year beforehand)

He woke wiping his forehead and frowning at the way his hand came away slick with sweat. Keith glanced at the thermostat and found it a comfortable seventy-five degrees. He tossed his blankets aside and sat up, and though there was a strange urge that welled up inside him to burrow beneath those blankets and fall asleep once more, he denied it (with some margin of difficulty). He had classes, and if he was sick he could at least collect his homework, maybe have Shiro help with the context if he missed anything.  
  
Keith got into the shower and he stood under the warm water, turning it up a bit so it was more scalding than warm. It felt nice, and the steam seemed to soothe his throbbing headache, amongst other things. There was a strange clarity to everything in sight, scent, and sound. He twitched at noises he didn't usually notice, he could smell the food wafting down from the commissary in preparation of the breakfast crowd, and the lights were all too bright - hurting him - though he passed that off as the headache’s fault.  
  
Toweling off was the worst of it. The fibers felt like sandpaper, and he winced as he wiped the droplets of water away from his belly and legs. And then he scrubbed his hair dry until it was sticking up every which way. He really didn't feel like going to class now. The shower had been a temporary respite but his body was shaking now, limbs aching and a strange tightness in his belly that made him feel just a bit nauseous.  
  
Keith huffed as he pulled his pants up, and then he frowned at the way it scraped against his skin, not at all unlike the towel. It was stifling and uncomfortable.  
  
“Jesus.” he breathed, begrudgingly pulling the rest of his uniform on before he grabbed his phone and head out of his dorm. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he walked, hunched and head hung in a gesture most had come to recognize him for using. Though now it was less a defense mechanism against the social tendencies of the other students and more a grounding technique to keep his mind off his gradually increasing pains.  
  
By the time he reached the commissary he was miserable. Every sound made him flinch, too loud, not safe. He hated it, everyone was being so loud. Would they just shut up? And it was too bright. He squinted and covered his eyes with one hand while he maneuvered his way into line for some food. Even though he didn't feel like food. Which was saying something, even when he was sick he deeply appreciated food. He had never had much as a young kid in the system. So the fact that he was feeling like shunning the scrambled eggs and cheap sausage that they always had for breakfast - that he always liked before - was unusual.  
  
Keith sat his tray down and gingerly took up a piece of egg in his fingers, nibbling at it. His stomach swooped with nausea and he curled in on himself as he rested his forehead against his arm on the table. He panted lightly as the churning in his stomach was accompanied by a deep ache, yet again. It was low in his belly...low enough to be weird and a bit _embarrassing_ , and it wasn't exactly painful. It was like exercise, burning...and yet unlike exercise he couldn't just pause and let the ache diminish. He couldn't seem to shift some way and find relief, and he would probably need a pain reliever eventually...if he could even keep it down.  
  
He tapped his finger against the table anxiously, panting more heavily. He could hear the whispers of curiosity and jeering from the other students as clearly as though he was sitting next to them. It was overwhelming and he couldn't eat. He just wanted to go _lay down_.  
  
Keith must have sat there, head against the table, for a fully twenty minutes, getting his breathing under control. By the time he realized he needed to go to class it was because someone bumped his table on their way out. He cursed under his breath and abandoned his breakfast in favor of making it to the classroom in time. And he managed that by the skin of his teeth. Upon sitting down it was an uphill battle just to stay _awake_ , let alone focus on what was being said by their instructor. Something about trajectories and atmospheric things that he couldn't be bothered to think about.  
  
At least in the Garrison there was only one class to attend per day, unlike high school. And depending on your focus, whether you be pilot, engineer, or communications you might have one or two extra classes and drills to attend later. But the usually brisk three hours felt like a lifetime with his pains. Keith swiped at the bangs that were plastered to his forehead, blinking blearily and panting even as he turned the page in his textbook. He hunched in on himself as a fierce cramp wracked his being, emanating from somewhere within his abdomen. Sometime during the afternoon it had switched from a dull, distracting ache to full-blown _agony_. He'd broken an arm before and this wasn't too far from how much _that_ had hurt. In fact it was almost equal. His cramp tapered off and he gasped in relief, garnering attention from his instructor.  
  
“Something to add, Kogane?”  
  
Keith shook his head, gritting his teeth as he looked up, “I'm…” he rasped, and then he stood shakily and saluted, “I’m _really_ sick, can I go?”  
  
Montgomery (today’s instructor, they switched intermittently depending on what was being taught) seemed caught off guard, but he nodded. “Very well, I'll send someone by with the homework then.”  
  
Keith must have looked like shit, he wagered, because most times feeling sick wasn't enough to allow skipping class. He was grateful he was being granted this, though. The dizzy spell that followed had him pushing back from his desk and stumbling over to the door. He wasn't going to get anything done in this state, and the only thing his mind could think was that he needed sleep...and something _else_ but he really couldn't be bothered to put any words to it.  
  
Keith got to his room by nothing short of sheer determination and kicked his pants off as soon as the door slid shut behind him. Then he pulled his shirt off, baring himself down to his boxers and breathing a sigh of relief as he got into bed and rolled and tangled himself within the sheets. Practically a burrito of fabric and sweaty teen, he buried his face in his pillow and closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable grasp of sleep, which thankfully came without much effort on his part.

* * *

  
He awoke with a jolt to a knock on his door, and after some fumbling and groaning because of his headache and the urgent growling of his stomach, he managed to detangle himself from his bed.  
  
_"What?"_ he called weakly. And then he sighed and grabbed blindly for his discarded jacket, trying for some modicum of decency because he didn't know who was behind the door...though he didn't really care.  
  
Or rather he _didn't_ care until he opened the door, because he could only stumble back and recoil in surprise from the scent that accosted his nostrils. It was like meadows of grass and wet soil after the rain, enticing and foreign and confusing and making a weird trilling noise come tumbling out of his throat as his knees utterly failed him. He was saved from hitting the floor square on his ass only because he was caught in familiar arms.  
  
_"Keith?!"_ Shiro exclaimed, and Keith only grew slack in his embrace, both confused and heavily enjoying the heady scent and the sweet, sweet touch that his body seemed to crave with all it's being. "I heard you weren't feeling well but... _Jesus_ , has it been this bad all day?"  
  
"Maybe." Keith rasped, letting his head loll back as he was swept up into a bridal carry and brought back to bed.  
  
"You're burning up." Shiro said as he lay him down and pressed the back of his hand to his forehead.  
  
" _Yeah_." Keith agreed, his muscles protested at every move he made, and he tugged meekly at his covers to pull them over his shoulders. Because despite his raging temperature he couldn't get enough of that feeling. The feeling of being completely swathed and weighed down by fabric...wishing offhandedly that it was a warm, heavy body instead. But he would take what he could get. Strange how his clothes had felt so suffocating earlier, and yet his blankets felt like a cloud.  
  
"Wait, take this off, Keith." Shiro helped him along by pulling the jacket from his arms and folding it neatly before he put it aside. He looked him over, a finger swiping Keith’s sweat-soaked bangs aside almost endearingly and drawing back with a sigh, "You slept straight through the day, you know."  
  
Maybe it was the fever, but he didn't really care.  
  
" _S'fine._ " Keith mumbled, already growing sleepy again.  
  
Shiro hummed, "Montgomery asked if I could take your homework to you." he held up a small stack of paper, "Do you need anything? Food?"  
  
" _Food_." Keith echoed immediately, his nausea from earlier forgotten as he nodded eagerly, "And blankets...lot of blankets." he paused to think before he turned to look at Shiro with the utmost seriousness, "Can you get more blankets?"  he asked, as if he hadn't already asked, and honestly, he wouldn't have known the difference.  
  
Shiro blinked at him before he exhaled a nervous chuckle. "Okay? Anything else?"  
  
Keith felt a surge of warmth in his face and... _other places,_ at the prospect of asking. He had an urge to ask that Shiro keep him company, hug him (kiss him) and stroke big, strong hands down his burning skin. To ask that he ease the ache that coursed through his spine. Because he...he could do that...somehow. _Wait_.  
  
How could he ask that? Why would he even _think_ that?  
  
Keith shook his head, gulping over the knot in his chest in the hope that Shiro couldn't read minds. Couldn't see the images and the desires that had just flashed across his mind's eye. His body gave a shiver at the mere thought.  
  
"Okay, I'll be right back."  
  
Keith nodded, watching as he left with a bated breath. He didn't know what had come over him...what was still affecting his thoughts. He didn't want to think like _that_.  
  
Or did he? Keith huffed at the voice inside that made him question his own convictions. He curled into his pillow and closed his eyes as he waited, pondering his relationship with Shiro in a new light.  
  
And perhaps ten minutes later he was disturbed from his near-sleep as the door slid open. He rolled to face Shiro as he offered him a couple blankets, and he took them with a frown. He had hoped for more, but he supposed it would be rude to ask now. Keith murmured a thanks as he sat up. Unaware of Shiro's curious gaze, he arranged the blankets in a neat little mound, shaping his bedding into something like an inverted bowl. He made a few adjustments before he settled down, burrowing beneath the dome of fabric with a sigh. His abdomen still ached heavily, but he was more comfortable now that he felt cocooned and safe.  
  
"You said you were hungry?" Shiro asked, an amused smile on his face as he held up a lightly steaming tupperware, "I have leftover spaghetti from the Holts." he said.  
  
Keith lifted his head in interest. "Yeah." was all he said, and Shiro chuckled as he opened it for him. Keith sat up and tugged one of the blankets over his shoulders while he accepted the tupperware and began to scoop the warm noodles into his mouth.  
  
"So how are you feeling? You look...heh, you look _awful_." Shiro said with a nervous chuckle as he sat down.  
  
Keith scowled and ducked his head at his observation, "Just...really hot and weird pain in my belly." he explained in murmur.  
  
Shiro hummed in consideration, "Like aching pain or sharp pain?"  
  
Keith shrugged, "Achy mostly. It's like someone _is_ -" his breath hitched and he lowered the tupperware to the mattress so he could clutch at his abdomen with both hands. He squeezed his eyes shut and panted through the pulsating pain, dimly aware of Shiro's hand on his shoulder while he endured it. It tapered off within a couple minutes, and he sagged with a sigh of relief, lifting his head and fixing Shiro with a weary gaze, "It's like a hand just squeezing my _insides_. You know?"  
  
Shiro frowned, "Not really? It sounds familiar but I can't remember where I've heard of something like it before."  
  
Keith shrugged and took a couple more bites of the spaghetti.  
  
"Should we go see the nurse?" Shiro asked.  
  
Keith thought about it, shaking his head before he burrowed back beneath his blankets. "No, I should be fine." he said, and then his stomach flipped and he had to retract his last statement as he reached for the garbage-can beside his bed and retched into it. Shiro held his hair back and Keith grimaced at the sight and smell before him, groaning as his stomach gave a couple dry heaves and he was left panting against the plastic rim. “Or not.” he rasped, throat sore from the acid and his lips dry.  
  
“Flu?” Shiro said in a sigh.  
  
“Yeah I guess.” Keith grumbled, slipping out from under his blankets and stumbling into the bathroom to rinse his mouth. He didn’t bother brushing his teeth, too tired and definitely not in the mood for the minty taste. Shiro pat his shoulder as he burrowed back beneath the blankets and tugged them up to his chin, nuzzling into his pillow. "Can you stay?" he asked, looking to Shiro with a plea in his eyes. His presence was soothing in a way Keith just couldn't explain, and his hand resting lightly on his skin was just the cherry on top.  
  
Shiro smiled warmly, "I have work to do tonight. But I'll stay until you fall asleep."  
  
Keith pouted at the thought of him leaving, but he nodded and hid his face in his pillow, muttering a soft "Okay."  
  
Shiro scratched at his scalp soothingly, and he fell asleep within minutes.

* * *

  
Over the course of the next four days Keith remained in his little mound of pillows and blankets. Completely buried and sweating and panting and aching and _burning_ all the while, but exposing his skin to the cool air only made it worse. He was sure at some point he had become delirious, babbling incoherently to Shiro, asking for things he didn't even understand and bringing the Garrison nurse down upon his head. His temperature wasn't even in the danger zone: a steady 102. She was as confused as Shiro, and she simply suggested that Keith rest and sweat it out, because it seemed like a bad flu and that was all she could surmise.  
  
Shiro brought him crackers and Sprite all throughout each day, and Keith appreciated it. He didn't know what he did to deserve the devotion, but as he had told himself a hundred times over the past few days - he would take what he could get.  
  
Any skin-on-skin contact was breathtakingly soothing...though only with Shiro, the nurse’s touch felt _awful_. So he may have overplayed his inability to do jack shit a little ( _just a little_ ) because Shiro would prop him up so he could nibble on the crackers without choking, as he could barely lift his own head half the time.  
  
But other times he awoke in the night with a whine on his lips and a flush on his cheeks that had nothing to do with his fever and everything to do with the blood pumping in his groin. And despite his hesitance and misgivings about it, it seemed to relieve his pain when he thrust a hand down and addressed that need....addressed it _a lot_. Multiple times within an hour. His brain didn't really register that _that_ wasn't exactly possible for a normal person.  
  
He never mentioned that to Shiro...it was weird and he was still sick. And besides, who got horny while they were so utterly sick?  
  
Keith didn't know and by the time he awoke without a fever he was just glad it was over. He had a nurse's slip for his absence and he had a lot of missed classes to catch up on. Shiro helped, he joined him while he studied, he guided him through his homework because he missed the classes explaining what to do, and he took him for practice flights he missed with his assigned team on the simulators.  
  
And he took him to town so they could eat at the diner, because he wanted to help him wind down after being sick and then having a week of extra work to make up for. It became a weekly thing, every Saturday Shiro would drive them to town and they would walk around the mall or eat some greasy takeout from a small town drive-thru. And then later in the evening they would stop by the side of the road and stargaze while they drank soda or ate rapidly melting ice cream.  
  
Shiro called it hanging out, but a small, treacherous part of Keith's mind wondered if it was more. And with that routine in place he mostly forgot about the strange sickness, he never addressed it and he never had a reason to.  
  
Not until perhaps five months later, when it happened again.  
  
Keith awoke with a gasp - before the sun had even begun to peek over the horizon -and curled in on himself. He tugged his sheets up over his head to block out the night light, whimpering at the pain clutching and squeezing at his insides while his body begged for something he couldn't understand, much less provide for. His spine sparked with a foreign need and his body throbbed with it, his skin going hot, sweat breaking and his breath coming in harshly. He got lucky this time around because he was rooming at the Garrison for the summer. And summer was a key word, because he did not have any pressing classes to attend. No exams to study for, and...he was sure there was nothing to do that day. So he resolved to do as he had done before, he retrieved his extra blankets in a haze, stripping down and curling up beneath what was practically a fort. And then he went back to sleep, and he continued to sleep, even through the increasingly worried text messages and eventual calls he received from Shiro.

* * *

  
Shiro knocked again, a curl of apprehension twisting in his gut at the lack of response. It was Saturday, and as per the norm, they were going to check out a new diner that had opened up in town. He had called Keith after his lack of response through text, and after six consecutive calls gone to voicemail (and a shitload of horrific scenarios racing through his head) he decided to check up on Keith in person. He didn't want to intrude on his personal space, but if he wasn't responding then he didn't exactly have a choice. He  _needed_ to make sure Keith was okay.  
  
Shiro hesitated, but he eventually heaved a sigh as his fingers move to override the lock on the door. He stepped inside when the door slid open, taking in the darkened room.  
  
"Keith?" he called, inspecting the pile of blankets and pillows on the bed when it moved. And much to his expectations, there Keith was, bundled up, drenched in sweat, dark circles under his eyes, and looking rather worse for wear.  He let out a small whimper and nosed against his pillow, hair streaked across his face and plastered to his skin. His cheeks and lips were flushed with color and his breath came in low pants. The sight brought on memories of that bad flu Keith had come down with last semester. Shiro reached down to feel his forehead, and he sighed when his touch was met with burning hot skin.  
  
Keith made a low noise in the back of his throat and stirred at the touch, lashes fluttering as he curled into his mound of blankets and heaved a sigh that sounded weary even in sleep. Shiro's nose stung briefly when the sharp tang of what honestly smelled a lot like spicy cinnamon and sweet musk bombarded his senses. It was overbearing and it made him sneeze.  
  
The sound made Keith flinch and blink awake, turning a bleary, violet gaze upon Shiro and staring at him almost like a wild animal would stare at prey...or maybe a predator. Either way he looked a little _feral_ , for lack of a better descriptive.  
  
_"Shiro?"_ Keith mumbled, propping himself on his elbow and rubbing at his eye. And even then his gaze was practically unblinking...almost uncanny.  
  
"Are you sick again, Keith?" Shiro sat on the edge of the bed, and Keith tilted his head as if curious as he did so.  
  
He didn't answer the question, he only drew in a deep breath that seemed to make him shiver, pupils blown wide in a manner similar to perhaps a high or (dare he think it) arousal. Keith reached his hand out, laying down shakily and exhaling a deep sigh that trailed off into an almost purring noise when Shiro carefully took hold of the offered hand.  
  
"Y'gonna stay?" Keith mumbled, eyelids drooping as he began to grow tired again.  
  
Shiro smiled at that, as if he would leave, "Sure."  
  
" _With me_." Keith added with a rather dopey grin, tugging lightly - or weakly - at Shiro in what almost seemed like an attempt to get him to lie down in the pile of blankets. Shiro gulped, a small twinge of panic coursing through him because Keith wasn't actually doing _that_. He was just sick and feverish and a little delirious if Shiro were being completely honest.  
  
"I'll...I'll stay right _here_." Shiro said, chuckling nervously, and he was rather amused at the way Keith pouted, his face turning into the pillow with a groan. Though his mirth soon disappeared when he heard Keith panting and whimpering. If he really listened he might have heard Keith rasping out broken syllables of his name, desperate, raw, and needy. He sighed at Keith as he murmured, too quiet for even himself to hear, "Right here."

* * *

  
Having Shiro by his side was a relief up until his body decided it needed him in the bed, tangled up with him and bared to his skin and doing far less than _innocent_ things. Keith squeezed Shiro's hand and hid his blushing face, as if he weren't already flushed bright red from the feverish heat. There was something different about this time. The first he had experienced of this... _illness_...was almost purely pain and nausea. But this time around he was writhing and tossing and turning at the deep-seated ache that pulsed through his spine, within his thighs, and in places he would rather not think about while sick.  
  
He rubbed his legs together to relieve some of the tension, letting out a whimper when the friction only made it worse. Made a jolt of arousal course through his loins and made him jump with the force of it. The heady scent of Shiro didn't help much. Something about that sweet, wet earth scent that only seemed apparent when he was sick like this...it drove his libido _wild_.  
  
"Shiro?" he panted.  
  
The man had occupied himself with his phone, thumb absently rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hand. But at the breathy rasp of his name, loud and clear, he turned his head.  
  
"Yeah? What's wrong, Keith?"  
  
Keith bit his lip to muffle his whine. _God_...it would be so easy. He wished he could ask it of him, ask him to help with this ache because he _knew_ it would help. It would help _so much_ if Shiro slipped beneath the covers with him and used those big hands and fingers on him. It would fix everything and it would make him feel so _good_. He didn't know how he knew it would, he just did. He knew that if Shiro joined him and if he...if he _fucked him..._  
  
Fuck.  
  
Even the thought was enough to make him almost moan, hips twitching in search of the phantom touch his brain decided to oh-so- _helpfully_ supply, he had to bite down on his tongue to strangle the noise behind his teeth.  
  
He wasn't so delirious that he would actually ask anything of the like. But he needed to be alone at least, he couldn't deal with his problem with Shiro sitting right there.  
  
"I'm _hungry?"_  
  
Shiro's brows, which had been pinched together in worry, softened with the smile that pulled at his lips, and he nodded. "Okay. The cafeteria is closed so I'll head to town. Anything in particular?"  
  
Keith shook his head, his free hand clenched tightly between his thighs to keep from doing anything before he was alone, "No. No, anything you brought last time is fine."  
  
Shiro stood, carefully prying his hand away from Keith's death grip, "I won't be long."  
  
Keith watched him go intently, and the moment his door closed - footsteps fading into the distance - he rolled onto his back and reached down to firmly grab ahold of himself with a stifled whine. There was no finesse to his grip, just desperation. He thrust up into the firm circle of his fingers, head tossed back into his pillow and his breath coming in sharp gasps. He climbed the ladder fast enough, but the release he sought evaded him. He teetered on the edge of his orgasm for a full five minutes. At that point tears pricked at his eyes and his breath was almost nonexistent. He needed more than this, he realized, and he used his other hand to reach down between his legs and circle around the strangely slick pucker of his ass. He pressed a finger inside without much deliberation, curling and exploratory, and then his body jolted as he came with a hoarse cry.  
  
Keith slumped back against the sheets, hands still in their places and his chest heaving with exertion. His hardness didn't go away, and he knew from experience that it would take more than one orgasm to make his body calm down. He gave himself a minute to recover before he began the process over again, pressing a second finger inside and rocking onto his hand with a cacophony of whimpers and moans. He needed to be quick, Shiro would be back within half an hour. He couldn't let him walk in on this.  
  
He rolled onto his belly and used the mattress to his advantage, grinding upon it while his hand thrust desperately into the welcoming slickness of his hole. He had never done this before, and it would have seemed all too easy if he were thinking logically. But he wasn't really, and all he could say was that it was far more fulfilling than merely jerking himself off. He brought himself to three more titillating orgasms before he knew he should probably stop.  
  
He sagged against the soiled mattress and then recoiled at the stickiness that met his belly. _Fuck_. He hadn't even thought about cleanup. The room probably reeked of sweat and spunk.  
  
Keith pushed himself up onto hands and knees and sat back, panting and still no where near sated, but there was no time left for that. He got up off the bed with a stumble, wobbling on weakened knees as he fetched a towel from his bathroom. In hindsight he should have done this before he started. But he hadn't been thinking clearly...and if he was honest he _still_ wasn't thinking clearly.  
  
It was a panicked process, pulling all his piles of pillows and blankets away so he could yank the soiled sheets from his mattress and replace them, laying a towel down atop the clean sheet in the (highly likely) event that this incident should repeat itself. And then he bundled up the dirty sheets and tossed them into his bathroom. It was a later afterthought that prompted him to wash his hands.  
  
Keith wiped sweat from his brow while he reassembled his little haven of bedding, curling up atop the towel in the middle and tugging his blankets up to his chin while he heaved a sigh of relief. His body still throbbed with need, his cock giving a little indignant twitch against his belly, but he couldn't have finished cleaning any time sooner, because Shiro came back only a couple minutes after he had snuggled back into bed.  
  
"Sorry it took so long, I had to stop by my room and heat it up." Shiro was saying as he entered the room, and Keith perked up at the vibrant scent of food...soup from the looks of it.  
  
"It's okay." Keith murmured, face burning with the knowledge of what he had been doing not even ten minutes ago.  
  
Shiro placed a bag of cans down beside Keith's desk, sitting the bowl of soup atop it. Then he moved over and helped prop Keith up into a sit so he could eat. "Is it the same as last time?" Shiro asked as he fluffed pillows behind Keith's back.  
  
Keith scratched at his neck and shrugged, " _Kind of?"_  
  
"Well, at least we know what we're dealing with. I would have gotten something from the diner but you threw up on me last time I fed you something extravagant while you were sick." Shiro chuckled good naturedly as he retrieved the soup.  
  
"I _did?"_ Keith asked in confusion, trying to think back to that week and furrowing his brow when his memories came up blurry and disjointed.  
  
Shiro gave a shrug, allowing Keith to take the bowl from him despite his obvious concern over Keith's ability to feed himself. "Yeah. But it's fine, you were pretty out of it and it was my fault for trying yogurt."  
  
Keith smiled, "Yogurt isn't extravagant." he said as he spooned the broth into his mouth, "But dairy isn't good on upset stomachs."  
  
Shiro chuckled again, looking a bit embarrassed, "Well, I know that now." he said as he swiped Keith's bangs aside and gauged his temperature. "Not as bad as you were when I got here." he said with a hum.  
  
Keith ducked his head and cleared his throat, "My nap must have helped." he deflected carefully.  
  
Shiro's smiled widened, "That's good. Hopefully you'll be better in the morning."  
  
Keith nodded, biting his lip. "Yeah... _hopefully_."

* * *

  
Needless to say, he didn't feel better, if anything he felt worse. And he endured another five days of his torment, though he never did reach deliriousness as he had before. Because he spent his nights panting into his pillow, fingering himself and spilling into his hand more times than he could safely say was healthy, even for a teenager. It kept him sane, at least. Though it never truly felt like enough and it confused the ever-loving shit out of him. Googling his symptoms only brought him to X-rated sites with kinks and fantasies that were frankly impossible and had him deleting his internet history with a blush. There was no scientific reason or sickness that resembled what he was experiencing.  
  
So he could only do what worked.  
  
He was almost walked in on one morning while he had been four fingers knuckle-deep within himself. It scared him half to death when the door opened, but he had successfully feigned sleep with a quiver while Shiro looked over him and checked his temperature. His presence only made his need increase tenfold, like an aphrodisiac. The delicious scent of rain and wet soil would invade his senses and make him throb with heat and a dire _need_ to have Shiro be the one to help him deal with this. The thoughts were shameful, he knew. He shouldn't be desiring his best friend like this.  
  
And he couldn't exactly lay all the blame on his sickness either. Because even after the heat and the need faded away his gaze still trailed after Shiro when he walked by. His thoughts filled with what ifs and foreign urges to do weird things like kiss and lick and mark him so people would stay away. Which was ridiculous. Shiro wasn't _his_ in any way. So why did he pull his lip back to bare his teeth and then stifle a snarl when someone else dared to sidle up to the man? Why was he staring at Shiro's neck and wondering what it might be like to bite and suckle a bruise into place there?  
  
"You okay, Keith?"  
  
Keith turned his gaze up to meet silver eyes and nodded with a gulp. They were yet again spending a Saturday evening hanging out in the desert. Keith got to drive them on his hoverbike and spent the whole trip hyper-aware of Shiro's hand resting on his hip and the firm weight of his body pressed against his back. It was getting late now and the stars were starting to twinkle into existence in the deep blues and purples of the evening sky.  
  
"I'm fine." he murmured.  
  
Shiro studied him for a moment before he let the matter drop, and Keith knew he wasn't very convincing.  
  
"Are you nervous?" he asked, a change of subject and an honest question.  
  
Shiro turned to him and smiled with a shrug. "I mean, yeah. It's the edge of the solar system, but I'm more excited than nervous."  
  
Keith hummed with a small smile. He was excited for Shiro, to be one of the first humans to travel to Kerberos...it was an immense honor. His name would be written in the history books and his life would inspire future generations for eons to come. And yet it left Keith with twinge of worry and sorrow in his chest, because Shiro would be gone for a year. He wondered what he would do with himself without him? His free time was spent with the man, his days filled with his presence and his thoughts occupied by him when they were apart. He was warm and comfortable when he was near, happy when Shiro was content and concerned when Shiro was upset. He would do _anything_ for the man.  
  
Was it a far cry to say what he felt wasn't dissimilar to love?  
  
Keith blinked at the thought and pushed it away into the recesses of his mind. Banished and left untended because that wasn't what they were...wasn't what _this_ was. He reached his hand over and let it rest against Shiro's shoulder, a familiar gesture between them, and offered him a bright smile. "I'm happy for you."

* * *

  
The day the Kerberos mission launched Shiro took Keith down to the site, showing him every intricacy and never letting his hand leave his shoulder. If Keith didn't know better he would say he caught Shiro staring at him a little too fondly when he thought he wasn't looking - three times to be exact. But he knew better.  
  
They were standing outside, looking up at the massive ship and enjoying the desert breeze. The sky wasn't clear, and the launch was going to wait until the storm clouds had passed through.  
  
"I'm glad I get to see the rain before I go." Shiro said, and Keith turned to look at him, having grown used to the way Shiro slung his arm loosely over his shoulders. "I'm going to miss Earth."  
  
Keith hummed, reaching up to pat his hand, if he were braver he would hold and squeeze it gently. "Yeah?"  
  
Shiro nodded, "You take a lot for granted when you're here, in space there's so much beauty, so much to see, but it's not the same as being back home. Even just my trip to Mars made me a little homesick." he said. Keith remembered that, it was maybe a month after he met him, one of the shortest trips to space one could take, and he was only gone for a month and a half.  "When I get back from Kerberos I want to go back to Japan for a bit." Shiro sighed.  
  
Keith smiled briefly, turning back toward the ship and furrowing his brows at the vehicle. That intricate assembly of metal and electric wires was going to be taking Shiro away from him. Only for just about a year, but still...  
  
"Hey...K-Keith?"  
  
He turned to Shiro in surprise at the way his voice wavered, he almost sounded worried. He studied the way Shiro's eyes darted back and forth between his own, his tongue wetting his lips nervously. And if it weren't for the desert heat Keith might assume he were blushing.  
  
"Yeah?" he prodded, and Shiro's lips parted, eyes wide, but he didn't speak.  
  
He just floundered for about twenty seconds before he heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. He reopened them wearily, the silver flashing in resignation as he fixed Keith with an almost sad smile, shrugging his shoulders, " _I._..I'm going to miss you."  
  
Keith smiled back, tucking his hair behind his ear with a blush, because he had hoped Shiro might say something of the like. "Yeah. Me too." he murmured, and then Shiro was hugging him like it would be the last chance they ever had to hug again. Keith buried his face in the stiff fabric of Shiro's uniform, smiling and blinking back tears because he was _not_ going to cry. Shiro would be back.  
  
Keith didn't exactly question the implications behind the way Shiro pressed the briefest kiss to his forehead as he departed, nor the way he held his hand up until the last possible second, eyes pleading as if he were trying to get Keith to understand something.  
  
And then he was gone. On his way to Kerberos.  
  
Keith had never felt so alone. He didn't even think it was possible to be any more lonely. His strange sickness came back a third time a month later.

* * *

  
"Fuck... _fuck!"_ Keith whimpered, clutching his pillow to his belly and curling his fingers into the fabric until his knuckles went white. Because it hurt. It hurt so _bad!_ He couldn't ease the ache with his fingers this time, he couldn't do it despite how much he had tried for _hours_ and he was getting scared. He couldn't keep anything down, and the light hurt his eyes. His ears rang from the sounds that echoed in the Garrison halls and his nose wrinkled at the scent of strange people walking around outside his room.  
  
It wasn't _safe_.  
  
That was all he could think. It was painful and it was hot and it wasn't safe because there was nobody around he could trust. No one who stayed a pillar of support and made him smile, who swiped his sweaty bangs away from his face and helped him eat when he was too weak to lift his head.  
  
Keith hiccuped over the lump in his throat, turning eyes that brimmed with tears into his pillow and whining at the sharp pains that wracked through his being.  
  
He spent it alone, having no one besides Shiro to worry for him and no one to realize he was not anywhere to be seen. No one to text him or call him and take care of him. It took him seven days to get over it. And he lost a fair chunk of weight that he never did quite gain back, one or two teachers even commented on his appearance. But he did learn that there was a pattern to these strange spells he kept succumbing to. They seemed to occur roughly six months apart. That was good, because now that he knew he could prepare for them.  
  
What wasn't so good was that he missed another week of classes. But he managed to make up for it. By the skin of his teeth and with immense stress, he managed it.

* * *

  
The news broke him in a way he wasn't sure could be fixed.  
  
Keith stared at the corner of the room where his phone lay cracked, hugging his knees to his chest and rocking himself in a failed attempt to soothe. He stopped crying a long time ago, and he wasn't sure how many hours he had been sitting there. All he knew was that Shiro was gone...probably forever, and he didn't know where to go from there.  
  
He was lost, almost in a limbo. He kept himself secluded and his grades slowly dropped, words got to him more and more and before he knew it he was stepping over the bright red line of no return. He remembered how satisfying it was to see the utter incredulousness on Iverson's face after his fist had swung. But then the thought of Shiro's disappointment tickled his brain, and the memory turned sour.  
  
He _wasn't_ proud of himself for it. For losing his temper, for washing out and running to the desert to find himself again. And sometimes he wondered what would have been if Shiro didn't go? Would they both still be in the Garrison? Speaking softly in the study hall and pouring over books on Keith's desk or staring up at the stars and naming constellations?  
  
He wished it were the case. But it was only that, a wish. A dream long since left to fade away because it would _never_ happen.  
  
The spells of sickness stopped.  
  
Keith was surprised because he thought he had found a pattern to them, the three he had endured had given him the impression that they were for life. But when the time came - his shack stocked with what food he could manage and his bed piled high with blankets and pillows - he spent two weeks waiting for it. He couldn't help but wonder if it had to do with stress, because he had been so very stressed in the months between his last one, and he wasn't exactly eating as much as he should either. But if it _were_ a sickness wouldn't that make it all the more likely? He was confused, frustrated, and then after a month passed he finally concluded that it wouldn't be happening again. Yet _another_ thing that didn't come back.  
  
He couldn't decide if he was grateful or not.  
  
He spent the next half year wandering through the desert and compiling the strange clues and cavern drawings he found. He passed the time keeping his bike tuned, watching the stars, sketching pages in his drawing pad. He drew a lot, it was something he had actually taken to during his years in foster. One of the other children had handed him a pencil and asked him to draw her a unicorn. It wasn't a very good unicorn, but after he had drawn once he kept doing it anyway. It was a soothing pastime and he enjoyed bringing things to life on the paper.  
  
He must have drawn Shiro a hundred times by now.  
  
He wasn't drawing him _today_ , though. Today was a special day, because those bits and pieces he had woven together from the caves told him something was happening tonight. He spent it watching the sky, absently dragging his pencils over the paper to capture a cloud, a cactus, a tree, a mountain. And as the hours passed and he grew tired of watching he put the pad away and rode off into the evening sunset, just to feel the breeze in his hair and to keep his mind clear.  
  
And then the impossible happened. In a flurry of activity, a pod crashed to earth, and upon investigation he found _him_. He found _Shiro_.  
  
His heart must have stopped dead at the sight of him, different and scarred yet beautiful and alive. He was _alive_ , and he _came back_. For the first time in his life someone came back to him. Keith settled the cadets he had picked up in his shack, letting them borrow the multitudinous blankets and pillows he owned rather begrudgingly. But worrying over his bedding could wait, because all he wanted to do was sink to his knees beside Shiro's sleeping form and cry.  
  
He didn't usually cry, it wasn't his knee-jerk response to pain or sadness. And it was most definitely not something he did in front of other people. But Shiro was an exception, Shiro was one of the few things in life he had shed tears over. There was no shame in the way his eyes stung and his lip quivered as he stared down at the sleeping face of the man he... _he_...  
  
Keith was almost scared to finish that thought.  
  
He bit his lip and trailed his fingers down the line of Shiro's jaw, taking in the scar that bridged from cheekbone to cheekbone across his nose. The strange shock of white hair that took the place of the brunette fringe he remembered. It was beautiful in a sad sort of way, and it aged him a way beyond what meager years he had to his name. It made him look weathered and beaten, like life had chewed him up and spit him out. It prompted the tears on Keith's lids to spill over and draw trails of wetness down his cheeks. He leaned down and pressed his ear to Shiro's chest, closing his eyes and hiccuping on a sob so that the others wouldn't hear him. He listened to the steady breath Shiro took, the repetitious thump of his heartbeat, strong and sure beneath his ribs. And it made Keith weep. Because he had irrefutable proof that Shiro was alive.  
  
Because he _loved him._  
  
Keith reached to take ahold of Shiro's hand, nary flinching when his touch met cold metal digits, and curled his fingers into the spaces between Shiro's like they were meant to be there. And he must have fallen asleep, because he startled awake maybe two hours later to the stirring of the body beneath him. Shiro groaned and his body writhed as if pained.  
  
"Shiro?" Keith sat up, wiping his mussed hair from his eyes and placing his palm against a cold cheek, thumb rubbing against the skin. " _Shiro_ are you okay?"  
  
Shiro's lashes fluttered, eyes peeling open and wincing at the dim light. Though they soon grew wide, and he looked panicked for a time, breath sharp and quick, yet taking in his surroundings with agonizing slowness before his gaze finally settled on Keith. He went still, his lips parting and his brows creasing in disbelief.  
  
"Hey." Keith murmured, and he let Shiro reach up to press calloused fingertips to his face, tracing the contours and brushing over closed eyes. He leaned into the palm that cupped his cheek, and Shiro's breath hitched, his eyes gone glossy with tears and his silver irises shining in the low light. Joy, relief, incredulousness, it all passed over his face in a matter of seconds.

"Are you real?"

Keith blinked at the question, caught off guard, but he offered Shiro a warm smile, nodding as he grasped Shiro's hand and nuzzled against it.

"I'm real."

Shiro choked out a teary laugh, " _You're here_."  
  
"Yeah, I'm here." Keith smiled at him, nodding, "And you're back."  
  
Shiro blinked, and he seemed to take in a deep breath, going slack with bliss and letting a smile tug at his lips. "I'm back." he murmured, "I never thought I...I could ever come _back_."  
  
Keith pressed his forehead into Shiro's neck, breathing deep that beautiful scent of damp soil and rain, dulled by his time in space with the underlying scent of iron and what Keith could only label as, well, _alien_. "I missed you." he said, voice quavering and his breath hitching as Shiro stroked his flesh hand down his back and hugged him to his chest, so tight it felt as if they could meld into one being if they wanted.  
  
"I missed you too. _So much_." Shiro rasped as he turned his nose into Keith's hair. Keith didn't purposefully press his lips to the column of his neck, but it happened and neither of them acknowledged it. Because neither of them could bring themselves to care, not about such a trivial thing when they were finally reunited.  
  
"Do you need anything?" Keith asked when Shiro finally let him out of his hug, sitting back and curling his fingers between Shiro's, not questioning the implications and the soft gaze Shiro laid upon his face.  
  
Shiro sat up - never letting go of Keith's hand - and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He heaved a sigh and pressed his prosthetic hand to his forehead, the gears whirring and clicking together as he moved it. It was both fascinating and horrific, Keith surmised. Because what happened to warrant the arm couldn't have been anything less than _terrible_. It brought back memories of electro-stimulants and Shiro pausing every now and then to stare at the very arm that used to be there and wince in pain.  
  
"I need..." Shiro began, looking down at himself as his gaze twisted into a foreign expression of disgust... _hate_ even. It was a weary form of hate, but it was hate nonetheless. Keith had never seen him look like that before. "I need to get out of this...this goddamn _suit_." he said, and Keith startled as he began that task without preamble, tossing the tattered shirt aside.  
  
"Okay." Keith muttered as he stood, "I'll find some clothes for you."  
  
Shiro didn't seem to notice, and Keith turned away as he bared himself completely, _desperately_. He knew he didn't have anything that would fit him, so he dug around the room a bit, coming across an old box he had never had the heart to investigate and finding an old vest inside. It had been at least a decade since he had seen it, give or take a couple years. He dragged a thumb over the black fabric and a sad smile tugged at his lips. It was his father's vest.  
  
He looked over his shoulder to see Shiro hunched in on himself, looking small and tired. He couldn't take his eyes off the scars that littered his skin, white lines and dusky markings that could never go away, some ragged and some precise, like the obvious claws over his upper thigh. A deep bruise bloomed with purple and yellow on his ribs, it looked pretty fresh, and Keith swallowed past the lump of emotions in his throat. Whoever had done this to Shiro...he hated them already.  
  
He fished what remaining clothing he could out of the box, finding boots and jeans and gloves and even an undershirt for the vest. All familiar to him, and he hugged them to his chest before he turned to set them down beside Shiro.  
  
"Here." Keith said in a whisper, keeping his gaze trained on the bed, "I found these."  
  
Shiro reached up to grasp Keith's hand as he moved away, pulling it to his chest and pressing his forehead against the fabric on Keith's forearm, brows pinched and eyes screwed shut in a pained, wet exhale of breath.  
  
"Shiro?" Keith prodded, tracing his free hand up into Shiro's hair, threading his fingers through it and making him shiver, skin raising in goosebumps.  
  
" _Stay_." Shiro rasped, and Keith moved to stand between Shiro's legs and tug him against his stomach. He let Shiro press his face to his t-shirt, letting him soak it with the quiet tears that streamed down his cheeks.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere." Keith said, and Shiro wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer and nodding against his belly. His shoulders shook, and Keith blinked back tears of his own as he watched Shiro fall apart beneath him. He must have shuddered and sniffled and sobbed against his stomach for twenty minutes. And Keith stroked his hair - his shoulder, murmuring sweet nothings all the while. "I'm _never_ leaving you again." he whispered at some point, and Shiro blinked up at him, lashes stuck together with tears and his eyes red.  
  
Keith hesitated, a thumb swiping beneath Shiro's eye while he leaned down and pressed his lips to the opposite cheek. Shiro made a noise, and Keith couldn't tell if it was in protest or encouragement. Though he didn't have long to question it, because Shiro pulled him down into his lap and hugged him fiercely, hands digging into his clothes, almost painful in how they gripped him. "I never imagined I'd see you again. I thought about you _every day_." he was saying, muffled against Keith's neck.  
  
"Me too." Keith nodded, curling his fingers in Shiro's hair. He didn't quite notice how he pressed his chin against Shiro's jaw and swiped against him. It was subtle enough, but the light spice of cinnamon he knew was his own mingled with Shiro's sweet scent a moment later. And Keith liked it, it made Shiro all the more alluring, it made strange thoughts echo in his head. Thoughts of _warm_ and _safe_ and _mine, mine, mine..._  
  
_'My mate.'_  
  
Keith stiffened at the treacherous thought, his hands going still in Shiro's hair and his lips just a hair's breadth away from pressing kisses to his skin. Shiro didn't seem to notice, he only kept his forehead pressed to Keith's neck and his hands fisted in his jacket, breathing long and deep and relaxing into his embrace. Keith drew in a shuddering breath, looking to the side and letting his fingers trail down the column of Shiro's neck to rest on the dip of his collarbone.  
  
Was that really how he saw him?  
  
Keith had known for a while that he felt more than friendship for this man, more than the brotherly bond he had mistaken his own feelings for early on. But...a _mate?_ Why was that all he could think of when he tried to label what they had? It just wasn't _like_ that. Was it? Maybe a little, back before this whole mess Shiro had been there for him in every way, taking care of him and spending time with him when he didn't have to, and Keith did what little he could in return: he _loved him._  
  
" _Shiro_." he murmured, and the man lifted his head to fix him with a soft gaze, silver shining in the low light of morning. And god...Keith wanted to kiss him. He reached his hand up and cupped Shiro's face instead, thumb rubbing against his skin and then tracing the edges of his scar. Shiro sighed, and Keith bit his lip, meeting his gaze hesitantly. "You okay?" he asked, and Shiro scoffed an incredulous laugh.  
  
"I don't know." he said, looking away.    
  
Keith used the hand on his cheek as leverage to turn his face back, letting their foreheads thump together and gulping over the trepidation that pulsed through his veins. Shiro's brows furrowed, and Keith froze when he pulled back, grabbing Keith's hand from his face and growing bright red. "C-Clothes." he stuttered, and Keith realized belatedly that he was straddling him with nothing but his _jeans_ between their bodies.  
  
Keith didn't look away, but he pointedly avoided looking down. " _Yeah_." he agreed, and yet neither of them made a move. Keith knew he should, Shiro needed him to back off and give him space, he needed to be courteous enough to give it to him without prompting. And yet... _Shiro_ wasn't moving either.  
  
He jolted at the calloused fingers brushing his skin, curling around the back of his neck and drawing him in. Shiro huffed out a shaky breath and smiled nervously when their noses brushed. "I'm sorry...I-I don't know what I'm doing." he said, " _Why_ I'm doing it..."  
  
_"Don't you?"_ Keith whispered, closing his eyes and leaning in that last inch they needed for their lips to catch and press together. It wasn't anything more than that, just a soft brush and Shiro's chapped lips scraping lightly against his own. Keith pulled away just barely, pulling his lower lip between his teeth and keeping his gaze downcast. Shiro's shaky breath blew against his skin and he looked up to see him bright red, brows furrowed and his demeanor nervous. Keith smiled at him, Shiro hunched his shoulders in embarrassment and shook his head before he pressed forward to kiss Keith again.  
  
It was just as chaste, save for the soft noises that rumbled out of both their throats and the tilt and slide of their lips, not quite open-mouthed but well on its way. Shiro broke away with a huff of breath and ducked his head, chuckling softly.

  
"How long have you been wanting to do that?" Keith asked, letting Shiro hide his face in the crook of his neck, his nose tickling the hollow of his clavicle.  
  
"Since a bit before Kerberos." Shiro muttered, and Keith felt his heart skip a beat.  
  
"How much is _a bit?"_ Keith prodded.  
  
Shiro huffed a laugh, sounding weary, "I don't know...I just...started seeing you differently." he explained, "I'm not sure exactly when."  
  
Keith hummed, scratching gently against Shiro's scalp, "Remember when you told me you'd never give up on me?" he asked, and Shiro nodded against his skin before he pulled back, "It took me a while to believe you, but when you took care of me - when I was sick, and that week after when you helped me everywhere I needed, in the SIMs and my classes. You didn't have to but you _did_. And _I_..." he trailed off to press his thumb to Shiro's lip, "It started to be more than friendship for me after a while."  
  
Shiro took that in, smiling faintly, "That was a long time ago." he said.  
  
"I mean...it didn't go from nothing to something _that_ quickly." he clarified with a smile of his own. "It was more after the second time."  
  
"The second time you got sick?" Shiro asked.  
  
Keith nodded, "Yeah." he turned his head and gulped at the vivid and explicit memory.  
  
"Do you...still get sick like that?"  
  
Keith furrowed his brow, "I did once - after you left." he explained, "But since I heard the news that you were... _missing_...after I got booted, and since I moved out here I haven't."  
  
Shiro went still at the mention of his absence, and then he worried his lip between his teeth, "You got booted...from the Garrison?" he asked.  
  
Keith's eyes grew wide as he realized he had said that, and then he slowly crossed his arms over his chest in a guarded gesture and gave a small nod. "Yeah."  
  
Shiro hummed, and Keith kept his gaze on the wall behind him. He didn't expect the silence, he expected Shiro to try and dig deeper. He didn't, he only reached out to pull Keith into another hug, sighing against his shoulder. "How did you know to come rescue me?" he murmured, and Keith slowly unfolded his arms.  
  
"It's a long story." He reached up and gently urged Shiro back so he could lean down and give his lips a peck, and then a full kiss. A languid one that drew out longer than it strictly _needed_ to. He pulled back when it started to turn molten, lips parting and tongues beggaring to meet, breath coming in harsh gasps. He cleared his throat, smiling at the way Shiro covered his mouth and flushed. What was he so embarrassed over?  
  
"Sorry, that was meant to...be... _less_..." Keith articulated brokenly, and Shiro nodded with a breathy laugh. "And to answer your question, we need to go out there." he gestured toward the door.  
  
Shiro sighed and grabbed at the pile of clothes, "Right."  
  
"You're sure you're okay to get up? It can wait." Keith placed a hand on his arm.  
  
Shiro shook his head, seeming to remember something, "It _can't_ , actually. We're racing the clock." he said as he gently nudged Keith away and stood, dressing efficiently.  
  
"We are?" Keith asked curiously.  
  
Shiro's skin suddenly drained of color, but he remained standing nonetheless, shrugging the vest on and zipping it up, "I was abducted, remember? I'm only here because they are coming here too."  
  
Keith curled his hands into fists, _"Why?"_  
  
"They want some sort of weapon and it's here on Earth." Shiro explained.  
  
"No, why did they _kidnap_ you?"  
  
Shiro turned to him with a frown, confused at the way he snarled the words like some ravenous wolf. "I don't know. I don't think they _had_ a reason."  
  
Keith only seemed to bristle further at that, reaching out to grab Shiro's metal arm. He stepped close and held the prosthetic to his chest, gritting his teeth and thumbing at the metal. Why would anyone _do_ something like this without reason? He didn't understand. He _wanted_ there to have been a reason for what happened to Shiro, he didn't want him to have suffered for nothing. That wasn't _fair_. Why did such a kind, beautiful person have to go through something like this? Why were silver eyes that he knew to be kind and gentle now laced with an undercurrent of fear? He hated that Shiro even _had_ anything to fear. In a perfect world this man shouldn't have gone through anything to warrant what Keith saw in him. A broken version of his former self patched together haphazardly.  
  
It broke Keith's heart.  
  
"Keith?"  
  
Keith blinked when he realized his eyes were welling with tears again. Funny how he hadn't cried in months and yet Shiro's return made him cry twice within hours of each other.  
  
" _Hey_..."  
  
A thumb on his jaw and Keith wiped at his eyes, sniffing softly. "I'm fine." he murmured.  
  
"Are you?" Shiro prodded.  
  
Keith shook his head and lifted his gaze too meet Shiro's, soft and tender and concern shining in those silvery eyes. "I'm not crying for _me_." he told him, and Shiro closed his eyes with a sigh, drawing Keith up into a hug and squeezing him so tight Keith was sure a couple joints popped. He huffed out an _oof!_ and Shiro loosened his grip.  
  
"I'll...I'll be okay." Shiro said, and Keith frowned in doubt as he nuzzled against his shoulder.  
  
"I'm going to make sure of that." he said in a whisper.  
  
Shiro laughed, shaking his head against Keith's neck, "I suppose I should expect nothing less."  
  
Keith smiled, pulling back so that he might reach up and kiss Shiro once more. Only a taste of the man and he was addicted, he didn't think he'd ever stop wanting to kiss him. He broke away with a harsh breath and while Shiro trailed wet, open-mouthed kisses down his neck Keith rubbed his chin against his jaw, delighting in the heady burst of mingled scent that reached his nose. It felt more and more like Shiro was _his_ when he did that, like he was safe and secure bathed in his scent. It was unconscious and instinctual, and if he stopped to think about it - which he didn't - it would be downright _weird_.  
  
"Are you...what are you doing?" Shiro asked, and Keith went red as he realized what exactly he had been doing.  
  
" _Uhh_..." he pulled away and shrugged, "Cuddling?"  
  
Shiro looked amused, as if fighting a smile, but he conceded to the answer without argument.  
  
"We should go, I think the others will be awake by now." Keith said, clearing his throat and swiping his hair behind his ear.  
  
And that was that. They got themselves together and after everyone had awoken - introduced themselves - he showed them what he had been working on. And after a clumsy piling onto his hoverbike, they were heading off into the desert. It was marginally easier than the night before...if not more distracting, what with Shiro awake and sitting flush against Keith's back, resting his chin on his shoulder and his hands on his hips. Squeezing gently every now and again and pressed up far too close to him to even _try_ and exude a more platonic air around others.  
  
Shiro hovered around him as they walked, shoulders constantly brushing and hands touching but never grasping all the while. Keith turned to look at him every now and again, watching the way he went red and smiled, having been caught staring.  
  
"You're not very subtle." Keith said as they paused to wait for Hunk and Pidge tweak the Fraunhofer tracker.  
  
Shiro bit his lip and shrugged, "I've just...I haven't been in human company for...for..." he trailed off and furrowed his brow, unsure.  
  
Keith reached down to take ahold of his hand, "A year." he clarified with a pang of guilt in his heart for having inadvertently brought up the subject, "I don't mind, you know."  
  
Shiro offered him a half-hearted smile. "I was staring because I was curious...did you dye your hair?"  
  
Keith furrowed his brow with a breathy laugh, "What? No, _why?"_  
  
Shiro hummed and threaded his fingers through the length of Keith's hair, "It's lighter and-"  
  
"I've been in the sun a lot." Keith shrugged.  
  
Shiro raised a brow, "Yeah, but if I'm not mistaken, that would make it more blonde, not _purple_."  
  
Keith reached a hand up into his hair and pursed his lips, "What do you mean, purple?"  
  
Shiro looked perplexed, but he only swiped Keith's hair away from his eyes and gave a smile, "I guess it must be a trick of the light or something."  
  
Keith hummed and nodded, fingers curling in the strands of hair that brushed against the nape of his neck. "Yeah, I suppose."  
  
The day only escalated from there, finding the Blue Lion and Voltron, fighting the Galra. It was a whirlwind of activity that seemed to never end, and by the time it was all over Keith just wanted to go _lay down._  
  
"Keith."  
  
He slowed on his weary way to his room, watching the others go for a moment before he turned to Shiro with a warm smile. "Yes, Shiro?"  
  
The man cleared his throat, turning his gaze away and rubbing the back of his neck, "I just...wanted to...say goodnight." he said, and Keith bit his lip to hide his smile while he watched Shiro fumble over his words, skin flushed with color. He never would have taken Shiro for the type to fluster so.  
  
_"Oh?"_ Keith sauntered over, hands clasped behind his back, Shiro's lips twitched into a smile at his slow walk. He only stopped when the plates of their paladin armor clacked together, and Shiro cleared his throat to stifle his chuckle. Keith reached up and cupped his gloved hands over either of Shiro's cheeks, rolling up on his toes and coming just few or so inches _short_ of Shiro's lips. Keith frowned and tried again, and then Shiro burst into laughter. Keith sank back to his heels and let his forehead thump against the cuirass of the other paladin's armor.  
  
"Was-" Shiro covered his eyes, still laughing, "Was that you trying to be suave?"  
  
Keith sighed, "I was _trying_ to kiss you goodnight." he muttered.  
  
Shiro took pity on him and trailed his fingers against his jaw, lifting his head and leaning down so Keith could reach. Keith's squeak of surprise as he was hoisted up in the air by arms around his ribs was muffled by the fervent press of lips against his. He huffed a laugh into the kiss, feeling Shiro smile against him as he tilted his head and slanted their lips together. It wasn't chaste, it was desperate and clawing, the frantic energy and adrenaline leftover from the day's fight poured into it.  
  
Keith let out a little whimper when Shiro buried his hand in his hair, tugging gently. And Shiro pulled back with a gasp,  pressing his forehead to Keith's, "Suave isn't your style." he murmured, and Keith only pecked him on the lips again, disappointed that the moment seemed to be over.  
  
"I'll keep that in mind."  
  
Shiro set him down on his feet, steadying him with a hand on the small of his back. "Sleep well, Keith." he said.  
  
"You too, Shiro." he grabbed his hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
He might have vaguely noticed that Shiro looked a bit scared as he walked down the hall, but he was too high off the new development and the insane events of the day. He slept rather well...Shiro did not.

* * *

  
Shiro awoke trembling, his dream having left him with adrenaline pumping through his veins. He sat up and sagged, trying to steer his thoughts away from his captivity. He couldn't tell what time it was, though he was rather used to _that_ feeling after being in space for a year and a half. He didn't bother with his paladin armor just yet, he just stepped out of his room and peered down the halls. They were dark and empty, and he wasn't sure if that was the castle's default or if it was lit up during the day.  
  
He began to walk down the hall, his footsteps leading him to a place he didn't know, and when he found himself in front of the door he knew was Keith's, he took a moment to sigh and run his hands through his hair. He ran his flesh hand down his face and rested it over his mouth, unsure if it was even appropriate to ask... But then again he had Keith on his lap just over twenty-four hours ago, kissing him softly and needily.  
  
Keith wouldn't mind.  
  
Shiro knocked, stepping back and waiting anxiously. The sound of rustling came from inside, and it didn't exactly make him feel much better to know the rooms weren't soundproof. Someone probably heard him cry out in his sleep, or if they hadn't tonight they would eventually.  
  
The door slid open and Keith peered up at him through bleary eyes, arms crossed over his t-shirt and his legs bared with the exception of his boxers. His eyes went wide and the sleepiness was banished as he registered who was knocking.  
  
_"Shiro?"_  
  
"Keith I...can I come in?" Shiro asked, stepping forward and hunching in on himself, he hung his head and murmured, " _Please_."  
  
Keith was scrambling to grab his hands and tug him inside, he led him to his bed and sat him down. Shiro wrapped an arm around Keith's shoulders as he curled up next to him on the bed and leaned his head against his side. "You okay?" he asked, and Shiro sighed.  
  
" _Yeah_...I'm okay I-I don't know why I came here." he backtracked and pushed at his forelock frantically as the panic and the frustration and anxiety came rushing back.  
  
" _Hey_." Keith reached up to cup his cheek, and Shiro screwed his eyes shut. Keith shuffled and stood, when Shiro opened his eyes Keith was kneeling between his thighs and peering up at him with a soft, purple gaze that took his breath away. Shiro shuddered and shook as his panic took ahold. " _Shiro_..." Keith cooed, and Shiro accepted his ensuing hug easily, clutching his smaller, lithe frame to his chest like Keith was the only lifeline he had. "You're okay." he whispered against Shiro's skin.  
  
Shiro nodded, hands fisting in Keith's shirt and his face burrowing into the crook of his neck. A deep breath and the slight tang of cinnamon smell that always accompanied Keith and he was starting to calm down. He was sure he felt Keith rub his chin against him again, and it was weird but he didn't really mind because he might as well face it, the _universe_ was weird. "Can I stay here?" he asked, and he felt Keith nod against him.  
  
"Whenever you need to. _Always_." Keith said, and Shiro moved to lay down with Keith in his arms. The boy huffed out an airy, breathless laugh as they pitched backwards, nuzzling into Shiro's chest. He didn't move from where he was draped over Shiro, he only toed at the blankets and pulled them up over them. Shiro hummed as he stroked Keith's back, and Keith smiled as he propped his chin on his arms against Shiro's sternum. "When I'm stressed I like to pile blankets on myself." he murmured, and Shiro pursed his lips.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
Keith's smile widened, "The weight helps with anxiety." he said, laying his head on Shiro's chest and looking up at him pointedly.  
  
Shiro smiled as he realized, "Are _you_ being my weighted blanket?"  
  
Keith nodded and flushed with color. "Yeah."  
  
Shiro pressed a kiss to the crown of his forehead. "Thank you, Keith."  
  
Keith deemed such a chaste kiss to be inadequate, and he hoisted himself up to lean over Shiro and press a soft, open-mouthed kiss to his lips. He pressed and plied and soothed the groan that left Shiro, tilting his head and uttering a moan into Shiro's mouth. Shiro felt like he had died and gone to heaven, cupping Keith's face and delighting in the softness of his lips and the slide of his body against him as he moved ever so slightly. And then Keith pulled away all too soon with a smack of wetness that sounded loud in the quiet room. "Goodnight, Shiro." Keith murmured, panting lightly as he made to lay down again, nuzzling into Shiro before he went slack and let himself start to drift off to sleep again.  
  
Shiro exhaled a shaky breath as he stared up at the ceiling. _Wow_.  
  
"Goodnight Keith."

* * *

  
Keith awoke nestled in Shiro's arms, face still buried in his sternum, but they were on their sides, having rolled in the night. He smiled and burrowed deeper into the cocooning warmth, heaving a contented sigh as he traced a finger in aimless circles on the fabric of Shiro's shirt.  
  
The blare of alarms had Keith jolting upright and made Shiro startle awake with a gasp. Keith turned to him and laid a hand on his shoulder before he went all business and leaped from the bed to grab his jeans.  
  
"My armor is in my room." Shiro said as he stood and rushed to the door.  
  
"Did you put it away?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Then it'll be in the lion trams." Keith said as he grabbed Shiro's hand and tugged him toward the bridge instead. "Coran told me yesterday."  
  
Shiro followed without argument, and upon reaching the bridge they found a most pathetically _dramatic_ display going on. And the fact that it was a false alarm made Keith bristle and tighten his grip on Shiro's hand, irritated that Shiro's sleep had been interrupted for _this_.  
  
"Look at you! If this were a real fight we would be positively _quiznacked!"_ Allura scolded, pinching the bridge of her nose.  
  
"To be fair, the majority of us are teenagers, not soldiers. And we were asleep." Keith said with a scowl, planting his free hand on his hip. "Not like we're gonna develop that kind of military precision overnight." he added when everyone turned to him with a mixture of raised brows, conceding nods, and in Allura's case, a considering frown.  
  
"Dude...was Shiro in your _room?"_ Hunk pointed, and Keith glanced down at their joined hands.  
  
" _Uh_..."  
  
Allura unwittingly interrupted the impending awkwardness, "Lance! Where have you _been?"_ she exclaimed when the robe-clad paladin walked onto the bridge rather blissfully unaware of the commotions beforehand.  
  
"Getting ready for the day." Lance said with a wink and a finger gun in her direction.  
  
Keith turned away from the ensuing berating to Shiro, who was still staring down at their hands with a furrow in his brow. "You okay?"  
  
Shiro blinked up at him, and Keith felt a smile tug at his lip when he flushed with color and nodded. "Yeah...yeah I-uh...just realized something is all." he murmured.  
  
Keith stepped closer to hear him better, "Realized what?"  
  
"Are we in a relationship?" Shiro whispered, and Keith stared at him, stunned because the thought really hadn't occurred to either of them. Granted with Voltron and all the insane shit that had happened the day before they couldn't necessarily be blamed.

"Do you want to be?"

Shiro only smiled at him.  
  
"Heh." Keith chuckled lowly, "Then I guess we are."  
  
Shiro ducked his head and grinned further, "Does that mean I can call you _baby?"_  
  
Keith bit his lip, still smiling, "I mean, yeah, if you want to. And you can kiss me whenever. Just saying."  
  
Shiro snickered, "What, like right _now?"_  
  
"Whenever you want." Keith murmured.  
  
Shiro lifted their hands and swiped his metal fingers over Keith's knuckles. And when he subtly leaned down Keith tilted his head up in anticipation before they were cruelly reminded that they were not the only ones in the room.  
  
"Woah! Holy shit, is Keith smiling?" Lance exclaimed obnoxiously. Keith's expectant upward lean turned into an irritated frown, eye twitching as he turned on his heel to glare at Lance.  
  
"Congratulations, Lance." Pidge said, tilting her glasses, "You ruined their moment."  
  
Keith crossed his arms and Shiro did the same, though he didn't bear the same burning scowl as Keith.  
  
" _What_ moment?" Lance asked.  
  
"Did you not see them literally all over each other yesterday?" Pidge scoffed, sticking her hands on her hips and shaking her head at Lance.  
  
_"What?!"_  
  
Shiro turned his attention to Allura, "So aren't we supposed to be doing something?" he prompted.  
  
Allura seemed relieved at the change of subject, "Lance, quiet please." she said, "Today you're going to learn to form Voltron at will."

* * *

  
"I _still_ can't believe you and Shiro are a couple."  
  
Keith bristled, crossing his legs and arms respectively while he leaned against said man in the lounge. "Is it really _that_ unbelievable?" he groused, irritated. He then proceeded to sag and heave a blissful sigh when Shiro ran a hand absently through his hair, analyzing some data on a tablet Allura had given him.  
  
"Wow." Lance chuckled, "He has you whipped."  
  
Keith growled and stood abruptly, disrupting Shiro and stalking forward.  
  
" _Keith_." Shiro berated, and Keith paused before a rather cowering Lance, fists balled at his sides before he turned to face Shiro.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Shiro offered him a somewhat pained smile, "Calm down, it's just teasing." he said, and Keith frowned before he took a deep breath, turning to Lance and flicking him on the forehead, eliciting a yelp of indignance. And then he strode back over to Shiro and grabbed his hand, tugging to indicate he wanted to leave the room.  
  
"One second, let me finish this." Shiro said, pulling his hand back gently.  
  
Keith glanced over at Lance, and then down at Shiro, and then back. Lance raised a brow, and Keith smirked as he reached down and plucked the tablet from Shiro's hands, earning a small _Hey!_  
  
Though the way he slid onto Shiro's lap -straddling him and maintaining heated eye contact all the while - made Shiro's response die in his throat, pupils blowing wide. Keith's smirk widened, and he flicked his gaze over to Lance as he leaned forward and gave a soft moan into the kiss that Shiro was too starstruck to debate returning. Lance was heard gagging and making sounds of disgust as he gathered himself and all but ran from the room.  
  
Keith broke away from the kiss to chuckle, and Shiro stared up at him, looking a bit dizzy. "That's better." he sighed as he ran his fingers through Shiro's hair and down into his undercut, scraping against his scalp.  
  
Shiro scoffed and leaned back to cover his eyes. " _Keith_." he groaned.  
  
"What? It got him off my back." Keith shrugged, "And it wasn't all that unpleasant, either." he said as he leaned down to cover the space between them and lavish small kisses on the expanse of Shiro's exposed throat. Shiro reached a hand up to tangle and thread through Keith's hair, humming in delight at the languid slide of Keith's tongue on his skin. Shiro's free hand went to grab at his hip, squeezing rhythmically and tugging him closer. The unexpected friction made Keith whine and nip at Shiro's neck before he moved to assault his lips again.  
  
"Noisy." Shiro murmured against his lips, and Keith rolled his hips in response, suckling on Shiro's bottom lip and moaning at the way Shiro guided him to rub against him again.  
  
A loud, pointed clearing of a throat had them breaking apart and flushing with color as they turned to look at the gathering of Allura, Coran, Hunk, and Pidge, who was having her eyes covered by the former and complaining loudly about it.  
  
Allura looked more weary than irritated, "Shiro, Keith." she greeted, "As glad as I am to see you... _bonding_...please keep your more salacious activities confined to your rooms." she said as she moved to sit down, "This is the _public lounge_." she pointed out.  
  
Keith nodded and buried his face in Shiro's shoulder while he willed his erection to go away, he couldn't get off Shiro's lap until it did. "Yes, Princess." he murmured, and Shiro repeated it, loud enough for her to actually hear.  
  
"Sorry." Shiro added, and Keith hugged him tighter, growing frustrated with himself when his arousal refused to go away.  
  
" _Shiro_." he prodded, his voice barely a whisper, and the man turned to him with a hum. Keith pulled back just enough to look at him and he hoped the sheepish expression on his face, along with the fierce blush, would clue him in.  
  
Shiro stared at him for a moment, and then glanced down. He bit his lip, flush returning. " _Oh_."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Keith let out a startled squawk when he was hoisted up with hands supporting his thighs as Shiro casually strode out of the room with him, ignoring the wolf whistle from Pidge. Shiro walked them back to his room, and Keith blinked as he was sat down on the bed and then kissed to within an inch of his life. Shiro crowded around him until Keith almost fell over backwards, and Shiro laughed as he broke away from his lips to help him lay down properly.  
  
"Didn't...mean to get...so worked up." Keith said between breaths as Shiro began to trail his lips down his neck. "What are you doing?"  
  
Shiro lifted his head and sighed, staring down at Keith with a fond smile, "Want me to take care of you?"  
  
Keith gaped up at him, words utterly failing him as he processed that the man he had been pining for for ages was offering to... _um_.  
  
"H-How?" he exhaled shakily.  
  
Shiro's lip quirked up further and he sat back to unbutton Keith's jeans. "However you'd like." he said as he pulled the zipper down, and Keith bit his lip as he considered. "Yes? No?" Shiro prodded gently, hands going to rest on his own thighs while he waited.  
  
Keith huffed a laugh, "I mean yeah but...are you _sure?_ Isn't it kind of early?" Keith asked warily. It had only been a week at most since they first discovered Voltron, and sure in that time he and Shiro had shared a bed and a plethora of kisses, both passionate and chaste. But still, he didn't want to be overzealous.  
  
Shiro's smile diminished a bit, "I suppose so. If you don't want to-"  
  
_"I do!"_ Keith interrupted earnestly, propping himself up on his elbows. "I just want to make sure it's...I know you've been...I don't want you to feel pressured."  
  
Shiro gave a laugh of his own, shaking his head as he crawled back up to lean down and press a chaste kiss to Keith's frown. "I was worried of the same, Keith." he said, and Keith smiled at that. "But no, I'm definitely not feeling pressured. I'm actually a bit touch-starved, if you haven't noticed."  
  
Keith nodded, "Okay."  
  
"Okay?" Shiro prodded.  
  
" _Yes_. Please." Keith clarified, and Shiro laughed as he gave him another kiss before he sat back again and began to tug Keith's jeans down his legs. Keith's breath hitched as he planted his feet on the bed and lifted his hips, growing breathless and his heartbeat spiking as it sank in that Shiro was about to get him off. He didn't really know what to do, besides helping Shiro by kicking his jeans down his legs. He let out a quiet whine when a big, warm hand lightly palmed at his clothed erection. Shiro at least seemed to know what he was doing.  
  
"Let me know if you need me to stop or anything." Shiro said, and Keith nodded fervently, watching with bated breath as Shiro delicately pried his underwear away and down his legs until he was bared from the waist down. Keith shifted under his appraising gaze, and then he gasped as Shiro took him in hand and stroked firmly, a light squeeze on the upstroke. "Okay?" Shiro asked.  
  
"Yeah... _y-yeah_." Keith breathed, watching Shiro pump and caress his cock almost in a trance. "You're good at that." he murmured, and Shiro blushed even as he preened at the praise.  
  
"I hope so. Haven't done it in a while." he added with a brief frown, one Keith logged away to maybe question later. Right now his eyes were going wide as Shiro leaned down and pressed a firm kiss and then an experimental swipe of his tongue to the head. Keith keened and bucked up, his jaw going slack as Shiro took it as encouragement and enveloped the entirety of the swollen head in his mouth and sucked lightly.  
  
" _Shiro_..." he panted, brows tightly knit together in a rather overwhelmed sort of pleasure. He reached down and stroked his fingers through Shiro's hair and then gripped it, gasping as Shiro took him in deeper. Hooded, steel grey eyes flicked up to meet his, and Shiro hummed around him, looking all too satisfied. Keith felt that warning coil in his belly so suddenly it shocked him when he shouted and came with a few thrusts up into the warm mouth. His head lolled back and he gasped for air, murmuring "Fuck...fuck.... _oh fuck_."  
  
He heard a cough, and he looked down to see Shiro wiping at his mouth, still looking rather pleased with himself.  
  
" _Shit!_ I should have told you I was...oh man I'm _sorry_." Keith groaned, covering his face.  
  
Shiro began to laugh, hoarsely, and Keith peeked at him from between his fingers. "It's fine, Keith. It was quick...yeah. _Really_ quick."  
  
Keith grumbled.  
  
"But I bet that was your first time. Was it your first...? _(Keith scowled as he nodded)_ Probably caught you off guard."  
  
Keith covered his eyes again even at the attempted assurances, "Do you want me to help _you?"_ he asked, and at the long silence he frowned and looked down to see Shiro looking a bit sullen and confused, not meeting his gaze.  
  
"I guess not. I...after Kerberos..." he managed, scratching at the back of his neck, and Keith glanced down to see he wasn't hard at all.  
  
" _Oh_." Keith murmured.  
  
"It's not you!" Shiro assured frantically when Keith's face fell. "It's _definitely_ not you. I'm...I don't know _why_ -"  
  
"I know." Keith said with a sad smile, sitting up and ignoring his nudity when he was reminded of it by the cold gush of air against his wet cock. "I read about that once. Stress can do that to you." he reached to take Shiro's hand, and the other man met his gaze hesitantly. "Don't worry about it. _It's fine_." he said gently, shuffling to his knees and kissing him soft and sweet.  
  
"I should be able to get it up, though." Shiro insisted, "It's been over a year since." he sighed.  
  
Keith smiled at him, "If it's important to you then we'll work on it." he said, "Just give it time. You've barely adjusted to your escape and you can't expect your body to acclimate with the snap of a finger."  
  
Shiro hummed, "You know, you're pretty wise for your age."  
  
Keith scoffed, "You've barely got four years on me, come on." he smacked Shiro lightly on the arm and grabbed his boxers, pulling them on and standing with a wobble. He frowned at the snickering, and he cast a blushing glare in Shiro's direction.  
  
"That good, huh? Glad to know I've still got it."  
  
Keith grabbed his pillow and threw it at Shiro's face, and he caught it with a hearty laugh.

* * *

  
Voltron stole their attentions away from eachother soon enough. And Keith was growing antsy with the amount of time they had to spend apart. Granted they weren't separated, just never alone. There was always some crisis or another and sometimes it left them in worse shape than Sendak's attack or the robeast on Balmera had. Their most recent close call had been in the middle of space when they accidentally ran into a cluster of battle cruisers and the battle had been exhausting even with Voltron.  
  
Keith wasn't only antsy, he was also feeling tired recently, and Shiro had mumbled a complaint about how he stole all the blankets in the night. He didn't mean to wrap himself up like a burrito, it just happened on its own, and he liked the cocooning warmth it brought. Granted he liked the warmth of Shiro's arms better. It was just a habit.  
  
It must have been three weeks since they left Earth, Keith surmised as he sat with Shiro on the lounge, fighting the way his eyes threatened to slide shut. His stomach kept rumbling and he growled in annoyance as he finally gave in to the beggaring of his hunger. Everyone was exhausted and he didn't want to bother Hunk but the green food goo was not going to cut it.  
  
He sat up, smiling back at Shiro when he rubbed a hand on his back, though his eyes were closed so he didn't see it.  
  
"Hunk?" he sighed, and the man in question snorted awake.  
  
"Yeah? _Huh?"_ he blinked, rubbing at his eyes.  
  
Keith crossed his arms and cleared his throat, "I'm really hungry." he said quietly, and everyone offered him strange looks. "What?"  
  
"Keith, we had dinner a _varga_ ago." Allura said.  
  
Keith furrowed his brow, "Really?"  
  
Shiro sat up, "Yeah Keith. It was literally an hour ago."  
  
Keith frowned and hugged himself, particularly his stomach, "I feel like I haven't eaten all _day_."  
  
He missed the concerned glances Shiro and Allura shared.  
  
Hunk stood and stretched, "Well come on, Keith. Nobody is starving on my watch. You just have a fast metabolism." he said with a wink, and Keith stood, smiling softly as he went to follow Hunk. The taller teen draped an arm over his shoulder as they walked, "If we're being totally honest," he continued, "I'm hungry again too."  
  
Keith chuckled, "Thanks Hunk. I know I'm weird."  
  
"Hey, _hey!_ First thing my mom always told me: _nothing's wrong with eating when you need to._ " Hunk corrected, moving to collect some ingredients together once they reached the kitchen. Keith sat down on the stool next to the counter and sighed at the gurgle of his stomach. "Okay, what do you feel like? I'm thinking a makeshift pasta-"  
  
"Is there meat?" Keith asked.  
  
Hunk pursed his lips, "Hmm." he turned to what Keith assumed was a makeshift fridge and sifted through it. "Maybe." he muttered to himself.  
  
"If not it's fine I just...really feel like meat. Crave it, even." Keith continued quietly.  
  
"Well today's your lucky day cause I found some sort of steak." Hunk proclaimed triumphantly. "I'm...seventy-five to ninety percent sure it's _not_ a ten-thousand year old steak." he added as he examined it.  
  
Keith chuckled nervously.  
  
He startled when a familiar hand brushed against the small of his back, and then he smiled when Shiro rested his chin on his shoulder as he hugged him from behind. "Hey." Shiro said.  
  
"Hi."  
  
Shiro sighed and turned his head so his nose was brushing lightly against Keith's jaw. "You okay?"  
  
Keith turned to look at him, _"Yeah?"_  
  
Shiro lifted his head and studied his face, reaching his flesh hand up to touch his forehead. "You sure?" he said with a frown.  
  
Keith considered and then shrugged, "I mean, I have been feeling a bit funny lately. Tired and hungry and...kind of jumpy, like I always need to be watching my back or something." he confessed.  
  
Shiro smiled at him, "Well, we _are_ being hunted twenty-four-seven. You have a right to be paranoid." he said as he swiped Keith's bangs away from his face. "And I don't think any of us have gotten a full night's sleep in a few weeks. Maybe you should go to bed early after you eat?"  
  
Keith nodded, perfectly reasonable explanations. He agreed with them all, though there was a small thread of doubt in his mind over the matter. It was a pretty familiar sort of fatigue, not born of anything and just weighing him down. A faint ache in his belly that reminded him of over a year ago. He bit his lip and wondered if he was right in assuming it might happen again? And if it actually was a sickness or something else entirely?  
  
"Shiro?"  
  
The man hummed from where he rested against him yet again. Keith almost recoiled at how strong the sweet scent he was starting to pick up again was. Still just as rich as ever and smelling thickly of wet earth and the air after the rain back on Earth.  
  
" _Uh_..." Keith cleared his throat, "You...want to come to bed too? You need rest just as much as me."  
  
Shiro smiled, "Okay. Sure." he shrugged.  
  
Keith heaved a sigh of relief, and he ignored the heavy ache that was starting to settle in his belly, familiar and wanting and intensified by Shiro's presence.  
  
It was maybe fifteen minutes later that Hunk presented him with some deliciously cooked mystery meat, and Keith thanked him profusely before he devoured it. Shiro and Hunk had watched in astonishment as he put his meal away within a few minutes and came up content and sighing softly.  
  
"Okay, Shiro. Let's go to bed." he said with a yawn. And the man followed him after exchanging a look with Hunk.  
  
He stopped by Shiro's room and grabbed his blanket, making Shiro laugh because that was a familiar habit of Keith's. To grab extra bedding and make what was almost a nest for himself in his bed. He pat the space beside him when he had stripped down to his underwear and burrowed beneath the three blankets they had now.  
  
Shrio crawled in next to him and Keith nuzzled into his chest, rubbing his chin against him as subtly as he could. Though it seemed Shiro had noticed because he chuckled softly. "Why do you _do_ that?"  
  
Keith blinked and looked up at him, "Do what?"  
  
"The whole chin rub thing." Shiro gesticulated with his hand, and Keith flushed red. "It's cute...it reminds me of a cat or a rabbit or something." he said.  
  
"I...don't know?" Keith said, and really he didn't. "It just feels like something I should do." he murmured, burying his face in Shiro's neck and inhaling deeply his scent. It was what he imagined getting high felt like, and his head rushed with warmth when he did it, the ache intensifying in his gut.  
  
"You're funny." Shiro said, and Keith hunched his shoulders, puffing out his cheeks in embarrassment. And then Shiro chuckled and moved and his eyes flew wide. Shiro had leaned down and deliberately rubbed his chin against Keith's face, across his cheekbone and over his ear, and it would have made him sway in place if he were sitting up. Shiro barked a laugh at himself as soon as he finished, but the flush on Keith's face wasn't from embarrassment anymore. A rush of blood was heading south and he looked up at Shiro with his wide eyes, silencing his laugh.  
  
"What?"  
  
Keith leaned up and kissed him, desperately, humming out a mewling noise and hiking his leg over Shiro's hip.  
  
"Thought you were tired?" Shiro mumbled against his lips.  
  
Keith broke away and nipped and suckled at Shiro's neck, making him groan as he reached down to delicately palm at him through his underwear. They were getting better when it came to Shiro's disadvantage. They worked on it when they had free time and he had managed to get to full mast perhaps a week ago...he didn't finish but Keith assured him it was a major accomplishment. Yet with the constant stress and adrenaline every day they just didn't have enough time to advance further.  
  
Today, though, Shiro was responding readily to his touch, and Keith moaned as he rocked his own erection against him. The spice of cinnamon mingled with rain and soil was stinging his nose in a pleasant way, and the way Shiro moaned and screwed his eyes shut as he canted his hips into Keith's touch spurred him on. He rolled Shiro onto his back and climbed atop him, pulling first Shiro's and then his own waistband down just enough to free their cocks and to grasp both in a careful, two-handed grip. Shiro was big. Not that Keith minded, but it made this difficult, he surmised as he rocked his hips and moved his hands to create friction.  
  
Shiro replaced his hand with a breathless laugh when Keith fumbled one too many times. And Keith groaned at the added pressure of his calloused fingers, a slightly tighter ring to thrust into, it made him almost frantically wild. He leaned down and took Shiro's skin in his mouth, tonguing at his nipple and reveling in the harsh gasp Shiro emitted as he fisted his metal hand in Keith's hair. Keith had established by this point that he was abnormally easy to finish, not that Shiro commented on it much. But this time he was determined to last until Shiro finally came.  
  
He was tossing sweat-matted hair from his face and feeling sweat trickle ticklishly down his back by the time Shiro started to make consistent noises. Little _ah, ah, ahh's_ of pleasure and his eyes barely open while he desperately canted his hips up and nearly unseated Keith once or twice. Keith redoubled his efforts, reaching down to cup and stroke at Shiro's balls, feeling them tighten beneath his fingers. A pleased grin broke his features as he watched Shiro finally come apart beneath him.  
  
Shiro's moan was cut off with a breathless wheeze and he bucked, eyes screwing shut when he finally came. And god did he come _hard_. Keith could tell, his back bowed out and he jerked once or twice, muscles rippling as they contracted violently. A whimper left Shiro's lips and he pulled his hand away dripping from where Keith had been grinding against him.  
  
" _Keith_." he said in a moan, and Keith seized up, keening as he allowed himself to tip over the edge. He barely had a chance to get his bearings before Shiro was surging up and kissing him with abandon. Keith gasped breathlessly into the kiss, trying to breathe around Shiro's tongue sliding around in his mouth and his apparent need to positively _devour_ Keith. Shiro made to cup Keith's face, and then they both recoiled at the cooling spunk on his hand, breaking apart and bursting into laughter at the ordeal.  
  
Keith smirked and grabbed Shiro's hand as he tried to pull away, maintaining eye contact while he brought it to his lips and licked at the thick substance, biting back his grimace at the taste. Because yeah, it wasn't exactly _pleasant_ , but it was worth it to see Shiro's lips part, eyes going shadowy and a soft moan rumbling in his chest. _Definitely_ worth it. He grinned and Shiro groaned as he buried his face in Keith's neck.  
  
"You're gonna kill me." Shiro murmured, and Keith chuckled.  
  
"Hey." Keith prodded, and Shiro hummed. "You did it." he said, and Shiro pulled back to flash him with a soft smile.  
  
"Yeah." he rasped as he kissed Keith again. "Yeah I did."  
  
They cleaned up lazily, pausing to interrupt the other with kisses and smiles and murmurs of sweet nothings before they finally burrowed back beneath the sheets and fell asleep.

* * *

  
It was a week later when Shiro found Keith digging around in his bathroom. He was hardly ever in his own room at this point, and he crossed his arms as he watched Keith collect towels and a few sheets from the drawers. It was a really strange habit, kind of funny, a little more _puzzling_. What exactly was it that made Keith so crazy about piling blankets and pillows and sheets upon himself? Sometimes it wasn't even for _sleeping_ , he would just curl up beneath his mound of bedding and sit there while Shiro worked on his tablet.  
  
He knocked on the wall and Keith jolted, collecting his sheets and scurrying to his feet as he spun on his heel. Shiro raised an amused brow and smirked at him, he acted as if he had been caught stealing or something, red-faced and frantic. "What're you doing?" Shiro asked, and Keith looked sheepish as he hoisted the fabric spilling out of his arms more securely and walked past him.  
  
"Nothing really." Keith said, and Shiro followed him, arms still crossed and his brow knit with confusion as Keith made his way to his own room and over to his bed, arranging the sheets like he had years ago when he was sick.  
  
_"Nothing?"_ Shiro wondered, moving to stand beside him while Keith primed and prepped the sheets and blankets and fluffed the pillows. He made it out to be a meticulous process, and he didn't stop until he deemed it absolutely _perfect_ , but it always looked like a bundled mess to Shiro.  
  
Keith stood back and studied his work, and then he kicked off his boots and climbed in to test it, it would seem. He shuffled around and fixed a few things and then he stripped down to his underwear before he burrowed beneath the blankets. All Shiro could see was the tufts of raven hair left sticking out and the soothed gaze of violet peering out at him.  
  
"Seriously, why do you do this?" Shiro asked, kind of desperate for an answer to his confusion.  
  
Keith shrugged under the blankets and rolled around so he was facing the wall instead, "It's comfy." he muttered, "Makes me feel safe."  
  
Shiro frowned, "So...you _don't_ feel safe generally?" he prodded.  
  
Keith visibly stiffened even under a plethora of blankets, and Shiro sat down on the edge of the bed before he reached out to touch Keith's shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with it. It's just blankets." Keith said.  
  
"Hey, that's not what I meant." Shiro said, voice soft,  "It's just...it's an interesting habit and I've honestly never seen _anything_ like it." he continued, and Keith turned his head to look at him. "I'm really just curious, Keith."  
  
Keith rolled back to face him, considering. Shiro smiled at him and Keith sighed as he turned to nuzzle into his pillow. "It's weird."  
  
"It's not-"  
  
"No it _is_." Keith said, "I...fuck, I can _feel_ it coming on. I wasn't sure last week but I've been getting hungrier and more and more tired and the _ache-_ " he paused to whimper as he shifted his legs. "The ache is getting worse."  
  
Shiro was concerned now, "What ache? _What_ can you feel coming on?"  
  
Keith let out this foreign mewling sound and reached up to tug Shiro's shirt. "Get in here."  
  
"Keith if there's something wrong with you-"  
  
"Nothing's _wrong_. I need you to hold me." Keith pleaded, and Shiro huffed out a frustrated breath before he kicked his own shoes away and slid beneath the covers with Keith. Keith curled into him and nuzzled his neck and inhaled deeply. He sagged in Shiro's arms and he pressed his hand to Keith's forehead. Warm and flushed and a little too hot to be safe.  
  
"That sickness...?" he wondered, and Keith shook his head as he started to kiss at Shiro's neck.  
  
"It's not a sickness." he murmured.  
  
Shiro took a few seconds to process those words, "What is it then?"  
  
"God Shiro _I don't know!_ I just need to _sleep_." Keith whined as he rolled onto his back and pressed his own hand to his forehead. "It's got this weird fucking schedule, that's all I know. Every six months or something."  
  
Shiro was quiet.  
  
"And I get really....really... _ugh_..." Keith groaned and covered his eyes, mumbling a word.  
  
"You get really what?" Shiro asked.  
  
" _Really_..." Keith sighed. " _Nevermind_. Just...wanna sleep now." Keith rolled and faced the wall, tugging at Shiro and then saying that he wanted him to take his clothes off cause they chafed his skin. Shiro obliged slowly, watching Keith start to relax into sleep and worrying out of his mind for him. But right now he was content to be there for him as he needed him. He would investigate this strange illness Keith apparently semi-annually succumbed to in the morning.  
  
Or he would have, if he hadn't awoken in the early hours of the morning to Keith panting and gasping and his hand moving too rhythmically beneath the sheets to be mistaken for anything other than what it was.  
  
_"Keith?"_  
  
Keith seized up and Shiro gulped through his suddenly dry throat as he seemed to orgasm at the sound of his voice, giving a sharp, hoarse moan and then tapering off into a whimper as he rolled onto his back. When he pulled his hands up and placed them on either side of his head on the pillow Shiro's eyes zeroed in on the fact that his fingers were coated with a suspiciously slick substance that admittedly wasn't cum.  
  
" _Shiro_." Keith moaned, and Shiro was accosted with that familiar scent of cinnamon, so strong it made his eyes water and his nose sting.  
  
"Keith? _Wha_...what's going on?" he asked, more concerned with the writhing body before him than the rush of blood that went to his groin at the knowledge of what Keith had just been doing.  
  
"What always goes on." Keith panted, fixing him with a glazed over look and smiling wearily. "I get _really fucking horny_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Art by me)  
> Oh boy, some crazy stuff next chapter, I don't have a set schedule for these updates so please bear with me. I don't know if the next updates will be as long as the first chapter either. But basically, incoming smut and some revelations in chapter 2.
> 
> (Keith is now 18 and Shiro is 22, all paladins are a year younger than Keith with the exception of Pidge, who is 3 years younger)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith experiences his first heat with a partner, discovering some startling information about his heritage. Then later has a thorough discussion with Coran over that very heritage. 
> 
> Shiro, while confused, is very helpful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added a couple tags. Also that slightly dubious consent comes into play here.  
> And there's an interesting question by Kisari answered in the end notes (also partially answered by the chapter). 
> 
> Time for Shiro to give Keith a hand and for Coran to be a good chap and explain a few things to our lovely couple.

_"Keith? Wha...what's going on?" he asked, more concerned with the writhing body before him than the rush of blood that went to his groin at the knowledge of what Keith had just been doing._  
  
_"What always goes on." Keith panted, fixing him with a glazed over look and smiling wearily. "I get **really fucking horny.** " _

~  
  
_"What?"_ Shiro breathed, completely caught off guard.  
  
Keith reached down again and huffed out a broken breath, his hand going around the back and not the front, and Shiro gulped as that knowledge made him throb. He couldn't think about that now, something was wrong with Keith.  
  
"Keith, let me go get Coran. Maybe he can scan you and find out why-"  
  
Keith shook his head violently, " _No!_ No, it's always been like this... _ah!"_ he jerked beneath the sheets and bit his lip briefly as he turned his head to Shiro again, "It was... _always_ like this." he panted. "Shiro, _please?"_ he moaned.  
  
Shiro stared at him frantically, hand hovering over his shoulder, "Please _what?_ How am I supposed to help?"  
  
Keith's leg accidentally kicked Shiro's in reflex to whatever he was doing to himself, and Keith muttered an apology as he rolled over onto his belly and arched his back. Shiro watched him push the sheets off from where they bunched on his bare hips, and then he was plunging his hand back inside himself, at least four fingers from what Shiro could see...he _tried_ not to let it distract him.  
  
"Like this." Keith was panting, brows knit together and his mouth open against the pillow, breath coming in raggedly. "Please. Please Shiro it'll _help_."  
  
"H-How do you know?" Shiro asked.  
  
"I just do." Keith turned his eyes on him, and the fact that they actually didn't look glazed over with delirium in that moment helped a bit with his doubt.  
  
"Keith it's not that I don't _want_ to-"  
  
"Then _do it._ " Keith begged, tears pricking in his eyes. "It hurts when I don't. _Please_."  
  
Shiro gaped at him, "It... _hurts?"_  
  
"Only if I don't...don't do this... _I need you_." Keith panted, turning his face into his pillow.  
  
Shiro only stared a moment more before he sighed, sitting up and nudging at Keith to lower his hips to the mattress, and Keith followed his directions as he rolled him onto his back. Shuffling between Keith's thighs, he placed a hand on Keith's belly, just above his cock, and rubbed a soothing circle to calm him. " _Okay_. Okay Keith." he said, and Keith went still beneath him, the desperation seeping out of him and a weary smile coming back onto his face. "Where's the lube?" he asked as he looked around the bed.  
  
Keith blinked at him, "Lube?"  
  
Shiro nodded as he pushed his own boxers down his legs, "Yeah, lube. You used it to...finger yourself."  
  
Keith tilted his head, "What do you mean? It just slides in." he demonstrated by reaching between his legs to show him just that, how his hole parted and his fingers slid inside with ease. Shiro's breath hitched as he watched.  
  
_"What the-?"_  
  
Keith looked a bit worried at his response, "Is...that... _not_ how it always is?"  
  
Shiro licked his lips to wet them and shook his head, "It's fine. Don't worry." he said to set Keith at ease. Though it was most definitely _not_ normal. Not in the slightest. Keith sagged with relief in response, and then he wrapped his legs around Shiro's waist and tugged with ankles crossed at the small of his back. Shiro was still unsure, but he decided he'd help Keith calm down first, and then he would take him to Coran. He hesitated briefly before he slid his fingers down Keith's inner thigh, circling his swollen, puffy rim before he pressed a finger inside the suffocating heat. There was a desperate whine from Keith.  
  
"More. _Mmm_...Shiro." Keith moaned, and Shiro obliged carefully, surprised to find him pliant and thoroughly slick, despite having claimed there was no lube. It felt impossible. But Shiro was starting to have a sneaking suspicion that there was more to this than met the eye. He would figure it out later. After he satisfied Keith.  
  
"Calm down, Keith." Shiro murmured, leaning forward to kiss him, Keith mewled into his mouth and panted as Shiro began to scissor his fingers inside him. He wanted to take his time, but Keith kept _begging_ and pleading for more until Shiro realized he already had four fingers from his much bigger hand inside him. He furrowed his brows when Keith only grew slicker, and after some thought he realized he couldn't seem to find his prostate. He explored around with his fingertips until he found what felt like a knot of flesh, and he pressed against it, surprised when it seemed to give and his fingers slipped through, rubbing softly.  
  
Keith's eyes went wide, he suddenly _wailed_ and _shrieked_ and Shiro slapped a hand over his mouth as his fingers recoiled. _"Keith!"_ he hissed, cringing at the ring in his ears. His heartbeat spiked at the knowledge that he might have hurt Keith, " _Fuck_. We probably woke someone up." he winced, keeping an ear out for any sounds of movement from outside. If they were on Earth it couldn't have been any more than five in the morning.  
  
"Shiro _no_ please I need you to do that again." Keith panted, grabbing his hand, and then he furrowed his brow in second thought, reaching for Shiro's hips instead. "Need _this_." he murmured.  
  
"But...it sounded like it hurt." Shiro protested, grunting at the insistent slide of his fingers against his cock.  
  
Keith blinked up at him, and then understanding dawned on his face and he shook his head, " _God no_. That felt like... _nnng!_ I don't even _know_ what it felt like." He covered his eyes and rolled his hips at the memory, "It was _amazing_." he breathed.  
  
Shiro hesitated.  
  
Keith pulled his hand away from his face and smiled down at him, "Shiro, I'll tell you if it hurts, _I promise_." he reached down to cover Shiro's hand with his own. " _Please_."  
  
Shiro nodded and reached down again, and Keith covered his own mouth when he pressed at that spot again. It gave for him and honestly it felt like a second hole. That _definitely_ wasn't natural, but the way it made Keith lose his fucking mind was rather enticing. Keith muffled his noises against his hand, and it was obviously a monumental effort. He could barely keep it under a mild shout. " _Shh_." Shiro breathed, leaning down to kiss away the tears that trickled down Keith's cheek. "Calm down, baby."  
  
Keith nodded and clenched around his fingers, his cock jumping against his stomach and dribbling copious amounts of precum. " _Shiro_." he panted as his hand went to fist in the sheets, "Need you." he whined.  
  
"I know, Keith."  
  
"Need you _now_." Keith arched his back as Shiro stroked along his walls, _"Please!"_  
  
"Sh- _shh!"_ Shiro pulled his fingers free and wiped the slick on his cock, watching with mild concern as a spurt of the substance came dribbling out of Keith. "This is insane." he murmured to himself as he lined himself up. Keith's lips parted and his eyes went wide as he pushed inside, and then he found that secondary ring and slid right in, not exactly on purpose. Keith jolted, slapped a hand over his mouth, and came with a barely concealed scream. Shiro groaned as he convulsed around him, and Keith sagged to the bedding, breathing hard and whimpering.  
  
"Keith?"  
  
" _Move_." he rasped, voice hoarse from his scream.  
  
"You just came." Shiro murmured, dizzy with the heat that enveloped him.  
  
Keith waved a hand, "I can go again." he panted, "I always go at least five or six." he said.  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
Keith opened his eyes and even delirious with need as he was he still managed to look annoyed.  
  
Shiro centered himself and thrusted. Keith moaned, eyes rolling back in his head. "Fuck! _Yes...ah!"_ he practically sobbed, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead. Shiro reached under him and lifted his hips onto his lap, beginning a steady pace and bending Keith slightly as he worked. Keith was rasping out broken moans, crying softly and repeating encouraging words as Shiro started going faster.  
  
It was strange to admit to himself, but the desperation and raw _need_ that Keith was radiating was a bit addictive, if not utterly arousing. He acted as if every move from Shiro was _orgasmic_ , and he supposed it could be. This wasn't a normal coupling, after all. Nonetheless, he was already close, and with Keith squirming and squeezing around his cock it wouldn't be long now.  
  
Shiro moaned and hung his head, "I'm close, baby." he gritted out, thrusts slowing into a deliberate grind that made Keith muffle another wail. "Where do you want me to-"  
  
_"Inside!"_ Keith begged, legs tightening around him. "Inside me." he moaned, unmuffled and loud, echoing off the walls. If they hadn't woken anyone before they probably had now. Shiro redoubled his efforts and Keith definitely seemed to appreciate it. And when he slammed his hips against Keith's for a final time - coming with a low moan and leaning forward to brace himself on quivering arms - Keith seized up and orgasmed again.  
  
"Takashi... _nnng-ahh!"_ Keith screwed his eyes shut and let his jaw hang open in a soundless scream. And then he was sagging against the mattress, panting raggedly and pressing a hand to his belly with a moan of contentment. Shiro pulled out and looked down in a daze. Seeing none of his spend come dribbling out of Keith, he reached in curiously with a finger and found that strange, secondary hole tightly shut.  
  
" _Ow_." Keith hissed, "Don't." he added with a sigh when Shiro pulled his hand away.  
  
"You okay?" Shiro asked, breathless as he moved to lay beside Keith and calm down.  
  
Keith stretched and sighed, a smile pulling on his lips as he nodded. " _Mmm_." he affirmed with a hum as he rolled onto his belly. A light groan escaped him and he reached down to touch his stomach again. "Feels weird." he murmured.  
  
"Bad weird?" Shiro panted.  
  
" _Great_ weird." Keith said, "I feel _so good_." he added, blinking his eyes open, and Shiro stilled at the glow of yellow in his sclera, irises pulled into thin slits like a cat that widened in the dark of the room. Familiar in a way he didn't really want to put words to, this was starting to feel more and more like some weird dream.  
  
_"What the fuck?"_ Shiro whispered, sitting up.  
  
Keith frowned, "What?"  
  
"Your eyes." Shiro said, unsure, upset even. "We need to go see Coran."  
  
Keith whined in disappointment as Shiro scrambled over him to step off the bed. " _Shirooo_." he moaned.  
  
"Get dressed, baby." Shiro said, breath coming in wet and ragged as he realized there was definitely something horribly wrong with Keith and he hadn't even tried very hard to help him. He'd just fucked him and maybe made it worse. What the hell was he _thinking?!_  
  
He helped Keith dress, a mediocre covering of boxers and a blanket around his shoulders that Keith insisted was the only other thing he would wear. Anything else chafed apparently.  
  
Shiro dressed in his pants and his shirt and then scooped Keith up into a bridal carry because his legs didn't want to work. And honestly Shiro couldn't blame him. Then they were off to find Coran. He noticed that the halls were silent, so maybe they hadn't been as loud as he thought? Hopefully so. He knew vaguely where Coran's room was, and when he found it the door was answered within seconds.  
  
"Hello, Number One!" Coran greeted, looking a bit surprised, " _And_ Number Four. What are you doing here so early?"  
  
Shiro shuffled Keith in his arms and frowned, "There's something wrong with Keith."  
  
Keith groaned and slapped his hand meekly against Shiro's chest, "Not when you fuck me." he murmured, growing weary.  
  
_"Keith!"_ Shiro blushed, scandalized before he remembered that Coran didn't know what that particular word meant... _yet_.  
  
Coran nodded, "Right. Let's see what this is about then?" he gestured for Shiro to follow him down to the med bay. Keith started panting again by the time they got him laid out on a table, and Coran raised a brow at the prominent erection beneath his boxers. Shiro flushed and turned his head when he gave him a questioning glance, and Coran shrugged before he pulled out a thin device to scan Keith with.  
  
"Hmm." Coran hummed as he ran the device over both sides of Keith's body. "Mhmm." he added as he moved to type at a tablet. " _Hmm_."  
  
Shiro grew exasperated and grabbed Keith's hand, squeezing tightly enough to convey how worried and tense he was. Keith blinked his eyes open and turned to face him, smiling and panting, violet obscured by thick lashes and the shadows of arousal.  
  
"Oh." Coran took a step back from the tablet. " _Oh_."  
  
Shiro's spine prickled with cold terror, "What? What is it?"  
  
Coran scoffed and turned to scan Keith again, rechecking his calculations. "Now that...is really... _really_ odd." he mumbled.  
  
"Jesus, Coran! _What_ is odd? What's wrong with him?"  
  
Coran turned on his heel and offered Shiro a nervous smile, "The thing is, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him."  
  
"He's... _what?"_ Shiro began to grow a bit frantic, "Then...what is going on?"  
  
Coran held up his hand and fixed Shiro with a stern look. Shiro gulped, taking in a deep, shaky breath as he reminded himself: patience yields focus. He opened his eyes and Coran was leaning into his space, looking down at Keith.  
  
"Keith, are you lucid?" Coran asked.  
  
Keith opened his eyes and frowned at him.  
  
"Good enough." Coran cleared his throat, "Okay. _Heh_." he chuckled, "I'm _just_ as shocked as you. So bear with me... _Ahem_....there's no easy way to put this...Keith is approximately half Galra."  
  
Shiro and Keith stared at him in relative silence.  
  
Coran cleared his throat, "His scan shows-"  
  
_"WHAT?!"_ Keith exclaimed, sitting up and immediately swooning with a dizzy spell, "Galra...half... _Shiro?"_ he reached out and Shiro scrambled to cradle his head before he could pass out. " _Shiro_..."  
  
"It's okay. It's okay Keith."  
  
_"What?"_ Keith was pale as a ghost, skin tinted almost lavender, extremities shaking and his eyes wide. That yellow bleeding into them in what could only be described as panic, his pupils shrunk thin like the slits of a cat eye again. "Galra." he repeated, "That...that...s'not _possible_."  
  
" _Shh_." Shiro cooed, swiping his sweaty hair from his forehead and pressing a kiss to the pale skin. He turned to Coran, taking a deep, calming breath before he asked, "What do you mean _half Galra?"_  
  
Coran showed him the results from his scan, granted it wasn't as if Shiro could tell what was going on in said scan. It was a jumble of colors, unfamiliar words, and numbers and it just made Shiro furrow his brow in confusion, "The castle apparently picked it up before in your initial scans upon entering. But because it hasn't been wired to label Galra as enemies yet it allows Keith inside without raising the alarm. And that's not to say you need to start worrying. It's okay that Keith is a Galra."  
  
Shiro narrowed his eyes. " _I_ know that." he practically growled, curling his arms around a rather uncannily still and silent Keith protectively.  
  
Coran stepped away and crossed his arms behind his back. "Anyway. He's almost _exactly_ half Galra, a perfect fifty percent if you will, give a few fractions of a percent. His Galra parent's genes were rather strong."  
  
"My _mom?"_ Keith whimpered, and Shiro turned to see him openly crying, brows twisted in a more emotional than physical pain and his breath coming in sharply.  
  
"So your mother was the Galra parent?" Coran inquired.  
  
"My mom...was a _Galra_." he panted, not in affirmation but in realization.  
  
"It's okay, Keith." Shiro assured him, and Keith nodded despite the fact that he didn't look the least bit assured. "So...how does that explain what's happening?" Shiro prodded.  
  
"Ah, yes, I suppose you _wouldn't_ know about Galra hierarchies, social statuses...the intricacies of the species subsets-" Coran began, twirling his mustache and peeking an eye open at Shiro, who deadpanned. Coran cleared his throat, "Basically, they have a few subsets. Secondary genders if you will." he continued, "Alphas, betas, and like Keith: _omegas_."  
  
Shiro shifted to sit behind Keith and prop him up, listening intently.  
  
"An omega is considered the more precious subset of the species in general. They are known for their affinity for breeding. Basically, once they sexually mature they will present. Generally around sixteen or seventeen deca-phoebes, or years if you prefer. They endure heats every five to six phoebes and this makes them feverish, makes them nest, and makes them rather...sexually inclined... _fertile_ as it were. But the more they mate, the quicker their heat is over."  
  
Keith furrowed his brow.  
  
Shiro cleared his throat, embarrassed, "So...Keith just needs to... _mate?"_ he cringed at the word.  
  
Coran nodded, "Indeed. It will shorten his heat and it will improve his mood substantially."  
  
"Nothing's wrong with me?" Keith whispered.  
  
Coran's smile softened and he went to place a hand on Keith's, limp and pale against his thigh, "No. Dear boy, _no_. You're perfectly healthy. The fact that you're even _having_ a heat is a sign of that." he said, "Galra only have heats when they are content, happy, and/or well nourished. And especially when they have a reliable, nurturing _mate_." Coran glanced at Shiro pointedly, who blushed and ducked his head.  
  
Keith shivered, "It's a _good_ thing?" he murmured.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Keith nodded and turned his head into Shiro's chest, sighing and panting. Coran pat him gently on his head, ruffling his hair before he stood again.  
  
"Coran?"  
  
The man looked to Shiro, "Yes?"  
  
Shiro bit his lip, "Don't tell anyone...not yet."  
  
Coran's expression turned solemn. " _Ahh_. Yes, of course." he nodded, "I doubt anyone else would understand it as well as you or I."  
  
Shiro turned to Keith. "Keith? Do you...still need it?"  
  
Keith nodded, whimpering.  
  
"Okay." Shiro rasped, hoisting Keith up and ignoring the soft moan he uttered as he moved to kiss at Shiro's neck. He gave Coran a strained smile, "Thank you."  
  
"Of course." Coran said with a tight smile of his own, turning to his work with a hunch in his shoulders.  
  
Shiro carried Keith off to his room, closing the door and setting him down on the used blankets. Keith lay where he was put, staring up at the ceiling even as his hand reached down and palmed at himself absently. Shiro made to speak, and then he thought better of it and reached down to stroke his fingers over Keith's face. "You're okay, baby." he whispered, both in relief and assurance, and Keith nodded. "I'm going to take these off." Shiro continued, pulling at the waistband of Keith's boxers until they slid down his pale legs and he tossed them aside.  
  
"You doing alright?" he asked as he pulled his own clothing away and crawled over Keith, kissing at his brow. Keith's eyes slid shut and he nodded, every movement half-hearted and his gaze distant as he rolled his hips into Shiro's wandering touch. "Does this still hurt?" Shiro asked as he slid his fingers inside Keith and probed as gently as he could at the second ring of muscle inside him.  
  
"No." Keith murmured, "No it doesn't."  
  
"M'kay." Shiro pressed a kiss to his cheek, then his lips, and down his neck. "I'll take care of you, Keith."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Shiro was concerned at the way Keith seemed to have dissociated from the situation, but he knew his body needed this. So he lined himself up and pushed in, this time purposefully guiding himself to slot into that second hole and making Keith tense up, belly painted with white as he came with a startled whine.  
  
Shiro murmured a curse as he began to thrust, and Keith bit down on his knuckles to muffle his noises.  
  
" _Shiro_..." Keith whimpered a few minutes later.  
  
"I've got you, baby." Shiro leaned down and kissed him fiercely, " _I got you._ " he rasped, reaching down to take Keith in hand, and Keith arched into him as he came again. And again a few minutes later...

* * *

  
Keith shuffled and Shiro sighed wearily at the prospect of yet another round. It had been _three days_ and he was positively wrung of everything he had. He rubbed at the circles under his eyes, there because Keith kept waking in the night and moaning for Shiro to help him. He had to resort to his fingers or mouth half the time because he just did _not_ have the refractory period Keith seemed to have. It wasn't humanely possible.  
  
But Keith _wasn't_ human. Or completely anyway.  
  
Shiro didn't mind. Really, he didn't. He was more confused than anything, but he could tell that Keith _did_ mind. Even as he had sobbed with pleasure through their passionate lovemaking and desperate fucking, he had kept that strangely blank look behind his eyes for the rest of his heat.  
  
"Babe?" Shiro prodded, and Keith turned into his pillow.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"How are you doing?"  
  
Keith was silent, and then he shifted onto his back with a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "I think I'm done."  
  
Shiro sighed with relief and sagged against the pillow further. "Thank god." he said, and Keith chuckled dimly. Shiro peeked an eye open at him, "Did you eat yet?"  
  
Keith nodded, "I ate an hour ago, while you slept." he said, face going dour as he spoke, "Thank you...for helping me."  
  
Shiro smiled, reaching down to thread their fingers together. " _Always_." he murmured as he started to drift off.  
  
He felt Keith kiss him just as he was falling asleep, and he blinked awake a second later at the sound of sniffling. He raised his head and his voice faltered at the sight of his tears.  
  
" _Keith_."  
  
Keith rolled onto his back and covered his eyes while he cried, lip trembling and broken sobs breaking through.  
  
"Keith..." Shiro propped himself up on his arm and reached to cup Keith's face "What's wrong?"  
  
Keith shook his head and wrenched it to the side, away from Shiro's touch, and he let his hand hover there in his uncertainty. "I'm one of them." Keith rasped.  
  
Shiro inhaled a sharp breath through his teeth, "Keith _no_."  
  
"I _am!"_ he exclaimed, "I'm a _Galra_. I'm _one of them_. The people who hurt you, who took your _arm!"_ he cried, and Shiro tugged him against him, hugging him fiercely even as Keith fought it. "You should hate me!" Keith exclaimed.  
  
"I don't."  
  
"You _should._ " Keith rasped, quivering.  
  
" _Never_."  
  
" _Shiro_..."  
  
Shiro turned Keith's head up with a finger and kissed him, long and searing and yet chaste enough to convey what he felt. "Keith...I don't care about what you are. I care about _who_ you are. _I know you_. You're not like them." he murmured as he pulled back, " _I love you_."  
  
Keith's blinked and looked up at him, jaw agape as if he couldn't believe Shiro would ever say that to him. His eyes welled with fresh tears, and he covered his mouth as he choked on a sob. " _Takashi_." he whimpered.  
  
"I _love_ you." Shiro repeated with more conviction, and Keith buried his face in his chest again. Shiro held him, wiping at his own face as Keith poured everything out in the form of salty tears, until he had bled himself as dry as he had bled Shiro (in a far more pleasant way, mind you). And when his sobs turned to soft sniffles, then the quiet rasp of gentle breath, Shiro pulled back to find him asleep and peaceful. He kissed Keith's forehead and settled beside him, closing his eyes after he burned the image of Keith mussed, rosy, tear-tracked, and beautiful into his mind's eye.  
  
He woke the next morning to the soft, rhythmic swipe of Keith's hand on what skin remained of his right arm. He blinked his eyes open and smiled warmly at Keith, who was smiling back and looking much better than he had the previous night. Rested, _content_.  
  
"Hey." he murmured, reaching to swipe at Keith's bangs, crusted to his face with sweat and tears. His hair crinkled as Shiro tucked it behind his ear, and Keith's eyes soothed shut, a deep sigh leaving him in a whoosh.  
  
"I'm sorry." Keith whispered.  
  
Shiro cupped his cheek, "For what?"  
  
" _Just_..." Keith opened his eyes and covered Shiro's hand with his own. "I don't know. I was kind of pushy that first day, you didn't look like you _wanted_ to and I feel kind of shitty for it."  
  
"There's nothing you should be sorry for, Keith. I didn't do anything I didn't want. I was... _confused_ , but I _did_ want you."  
  
Keith sighed, "I guess. But my...my _heat_...everything just kind of fucked up and I didn't mean to get so emotional yesterday."  
  
Shiro gave a second smile, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips. "You're allowed to be emotional." he added in a chuckle.  
  
Keith smiled and ducked his head, and then he grew serious again, frowning at some unknown point on Shiro's skin, "Did you mean it?"  
  
Shiro pressed his forehead to Keith's and nodded against him, "Yeah. _Every word_ , Keith." he murmured, and Keith shuddered, a shaky breath escaping him, "I love you."  
  
Keith chuckled wetly and shook, nodding and pressing his hand to his mouth to muffle a quiet sob.  
  
" _Hey_..." Shiro cooed.  
  
"I'm fine." Keith smiled, the brilliance of it a bit broken by his splotchy face and the natural grimace of his crying. "Just..." he laughed again, hunching his shoulders, "I can't remember the last time someone said that to me." he added hoarsely, "I think it was my dad."  
  
Shiro pulled him to his chest, blinking rapidly and breathing a small laugh of his own.  
  
" _I love you too_." Keith whispered.  
  
"I know." Shiro rasped. "I know."

* * *

  
When they emerged from their room an hour or so later Shiro went to sit at the counter in the kitchen with a groan and Keith looked so positively radiant it was almost as if he were glowing. He sat beside Shiro and eagerly conversed in the good mornings as everyone began to clamor for breakfast. Shiro was still _bone-tired_ , and he was glad both Keith and Coran had said these heats were only semi-annual. He would not be able to take this any more often than that.    
  
"Where on Earth have _you two_ been?" Pidge asked, picking at her food goo, though from the way she looked at them it was almost as if she knew they had been fucking for three days straight.  
  
Keith ducked his head and shot her a shy look.  
  
Allura crossed her arms, sighing, "It is a lucky thing we didn't need to form Voltron." she said. "Coran informed me there was a personal medical issue and he confined both of you to your quarters."  
  
Shiro nodded and Keith rubbed at his back, chewing away rather merrily at his food goo. "This is really good." Keith said as he smiled at Hunk.  
  
Hunk smiled back in mild confusion, "Thanks? It's just regular food goo."  
  
Keith paused at that before he shrugged and continued to eat.  
  
"You seem to be feeling better, Keith." Allura said, "Coran said you had it worse."  
  
Keith nodded sheepishly, and Shiro tensed. Keith was not a good liar.  
  
"Y-Yeah. Yeah I was...pretty bad." Keith mumbled, hunching his shoulders.  
  
Allura didn't find him suspicious at all, and Shiro relaxed as she turned to her food. "Well, I'm glad you two are better." she raised a brow at Shiro when he ran his hand over his face, "For the most part."  
  
Shiro smiled ruefully and buried his face in his arms, hiding a more secretive smile and a blush because really he was just exhausted. Having spent three days in nonstop intercourse took its _fucking toll._ Shiro muffled a snicker at his own pun, lifting his head and then standing to go get some food. When he sat back down - bowl of the bland green goop in hand - Keith leaned into him and if Shiro wasn't mistaken, purred softly. Granted it wasn't like a cat, just a soft, consistent rumble that almost sounded like a sigh.  
  
Shiro looked up to see if anyone else had noticed. It didn't seem like it. He reached his hand around Keith's waist and thumbed gently at the subtle curve of his hip. That cinnamon scent that so usually stung his nostrils when Keith was in close proximity was dulled immensely, replaced with a more rich, sweet scent (almost like caramel) that honestly made Shiro want to nuzzle Keith's neck and inhale it deeply. He missed his bite while he was staring at Keith's neck and contemplating that, spoon bumping his lip and the food goo flopping to the counter.  
  
He and Keith stared down at it, and then glanced at one another. Keith snickered, and Shiro smiled as he scooped it back up to try again.  
  
Allura had left the room, and upon her exit Pidge slapped her hands down on the counter. Shiro raised a brow while Keith just continued to smile. "Alright you two. I know what's going on." Pidge said, pointing her finger, "I literally thought Keith was getting _murdered_ the other day! Do you _realize_ how loud you two were? Don't get me wrong I'm glad you finally did it if not to spare us from the constant bedroom eyes." she scoffed, "But _medical issue_ my ass. You two were fucking in there...for three. Whole. _Days!"_ she leaned close to hiss.  
  
Shiro sighed and Keith looked embarrassed, hunching his shoulders beside Shiro and curling his arms around himself.  
  
"Did anyone else hear?" Shiro asked, exasperated.  
  
"How should _I_ know? And how did you even get Coran to cover you like that?" Pidge continued.  
  
Shiro lifted his hands in a pleading gesture, "Pidge, please-"  
  
"I don't know if I'll ever get the obscene pictures out of my head! Keith you sound like an uke in some old 21st century Japanese BL CD-"  
  
_"Katie!"_  
  
Shiro stood, planting his hands on the counter, and she jumped, stepping back and realizing just how serious Shiro was taking this. "It was a...it's..." he turned to look at Hunk and Lance, who were just out of earshot, though the quieted commotion did draw their curious gazes. At least Pidge had been discreet enough they weren't in on the conversation. "Can I talk to you in a more private place?" he asked, and Pidge suddenly looked unsure, nervous.  
  
_"Okay?"_ she said as she followed Shiro.  
  
"I'll be back in a second, Keith." Shiro said.  
  
Pidge seemed to grow more nervous as they entered a different room, crossing her arms and looking around absently. "I kind of feel like I struck a nerve?" she prodded.  
  
Shiro raised his hand and shook his head, "No." he sighed as he went to sit down, resting his elbows on his knees and groaning as he buried his face in his hands. "It's _complicated_."  
  
Pidge hummed and hopped onto the arm of a couch in the room. "How is sex complicated?"  
  
Shiro peeked at her through his hands and offered her an unamused look. "It...wasn't necessarily sex." Shiro began, and then he scoffed, "Okay. It was sex. But we weren't just...it was..." he trailed off and tried to think of a way to explain.  
  
Pidge raised a brow.  
  
"Pidge. We didn't know until a few days ago." Shiro sighed, "Keith isn't human."  
  
Pidge pursed her lips, "Well I _would_ assume that was a joke about his stamina if you didn't phrase it so ominously." she said.  
  
"It's not a joke."  
  
"Noted."  
  
"Keith is half-Galra."  
  
There was a long silence, and Shiro stared at the floor, waiting for a reaction that never came, at least audibly. He looked up after maybe two minutes and found Pidge staring at the ground similarly with a furrow in her brow. He waited, and began tapping his foot nervously as he continued to wait.  
  
" _So_..." Pidge began after maybe eight grueling minutes, "He's an alien." she nodded at her own words, "He doesn't look like one. What, do Galra shapeshift or something?"  
  
"I don't know." Shiro scoffed, " _Keith_ never knew, so I don't think so." he said, "All you need to know is that for the past few days...it's a Galra thing and it had to be dealt with. It's like a _mating cycle?"_ he continued, blushing, "I...had to help him."  
  
Pidge considered, turning her head, and then she laughed, "Oh my _god_."  
  
"What?" Shiro recoiled a bit, surprised.  
  
"A _mating_ cycle?" Pidge chuckled. "That's so...so..." she trailed off and pursed her lips, and then she grimaced, "Disturbing. _Gross!_ Next time can't you guys just _say so_ and find some secluded room to do your business?"  
  
Shiro frowned. "It's not that simple, Pidge. You're taking this surprisingly well, but what about the others? What about _Allura?"_ he stressed, and her expression became truly solemn as she thought about it. "The Galra destroyed _everything_ Allura ever knew, and I don't know about you but I wouldn't put it past her to get irrational about it." he paused to think about that one, "For a princess she gets irrational more often than I imagined."  
  
Pidge nodded, "I mean, _yeah_ there's a chance of that. But you can't really assume _everyone_ would just do a 180 and hate Keith all of a sudden-"  
  
"And what if they _do?"_ Shiro asked, and Pidge pressed her lips into a thin line. "I don't want Keith to go through that. He's already been through so much and he's always been alone. Now that he has friends I don't want to take that away."  
  
Pidge frowned. "If they can't accept him as he is are they really his friends?" she questioned, and Shiro was a bit taken aback.  
  
He couldn't answer, and Pidge hopped down from the couch to head back to the kitchens. "I won't tell anyone. But you two probably should, because the others will find out sooner or later and it's better they learn from a source they trust." she said, crossing her arms, "I mean, I found out _three days_ after you did. It's only a matter of time." she said, and Shiro scoffed as he scrubbed at his face.  
  
"Why are you and Keith always backing me into a corner with wisdom? I'm supposed to be the leader here and I feel like I get schooled by you guys more often than I can dish it out myself." Shiro wondered with a wry smirk, and Pidge smiled.  
  
"I dunno. I think it's less wisdom and more that we have a different perspective." she shrugged.  
  
"Well...at the very least, I'll leave it up to Keith to decide. I mostly took the reins because he wasn't in his right mind."  
  
Pidge nodded, "That's fair." she said.  
  
"You promise right?" Shiro prodded.  
  
Pidge heaved a sigh, "Yes, I promise. I'll leave it up to Keith."

* * *

  
Keith watched them go, feeling self conscious and curling his arms around himself again. He frowned at the prospect of someone else knowing, and he suddenly didn't feel so good anymore. He pushed his remaining food away and stood to leave the kitchen. His wandering took him down to the observation deck, and he sat himself down on the couch there to gaze out and sigh.  
  
The stars and the nebula shone and twinkled in the distance. The atmosphere was soothing, and it reminded him of days in the desert, far from the cities and towns, where he could see the Milky Way. It was nice.  
  
Keith sighed and flopped onto his side, watching the stars pass by outside and hardly noticing how weary he suddenly felt. He didn't even realize his eyes had drifted closed until he was waking with a gasp to the feeling of a big, warm hand on his shoulder. He blinked and turned his gaze on Shiro, who looked a bit confused but was smiling sweetly.  
  
"Hey, where'd you go?" Shiro asked, and Keith made to answer when he noticed Pidge staring at the stars in the background, arms crossed and a contemplative expression on her face. "I explained to her." Shiro said, "She's cool with it."  
  
Keith relaxed against the plush of the couch, "It's comfortable here." he murmured, "Quiet."  
  
Shiro smiled again, "Is it?" he swiped Keith's bangs away from his forehead, and Keith gestured for him to come close so he could kiss him. Slow and languid and deep. When he pulled back he frowned at the twinge of arousal that tugged at the back of his mind, and he rolled onto his side with a sigh.  
  
"What was that for?" Shiro asked, sounding a bit starstruck.  
  
"Nothing." Keith murmured as he closed his eyes again. "I'm tired."  
  
"You need a nap?" Shiro prompted.  
  
"A nap would be nice, yeah."  
  
Keith smiled as he was hoisted up, he wrapped his arms around Shiro's neck and rubbed his chin against his shoulder, noting faintly that the cinnamon that touched his senses when he did that was replaced with a softer scent, sweeter. "Pidge?" Shiro said as he turned, and Keith lifted his head to finally meet her gaze, she had been in the room for ages but neither of them had acknowledged each other.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Nobody else knows, right?" Shiro asked, more pleading than anything, and Pidge offered him a smile in return.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. They won't hear it from me. I'm just wondering about the implications of it all." she said as she crossed her arms and strode over, "Does that mean Galra have been going to Earth? Perhaps have been for a long time? Because if one of Keith's relatives-"  
  
"My mom." Keith corrected, and Pidge hummed with a nod.  
  
"Okay, if Keith's _mom_ was a Galra...that means she went to earth like...twenty years ago?"  
  
"Nineteen." Keith mumbled.  
  
"I'm accounting for gestation." Pidge said.  
  
Shiro furrowed his brow, "It's a good question, Pidge. One none of us know the answers to." he shuffled Keith in his arms before he went to sit down again with a sigh. "All we know for sure is that _one_ Galra made it to Earth and...she must have stayed there to at least give birth to Keith. You had a father."  
  
"Dad never said anything about her." Keith mumbled.  
  
"Nothing at all?" Pidge prodded.  
  
"Nothing aside from the fact that she existed." Keith confirmed in a small voice, "But..." he furrowed his brow and straightened in Shiro's lap. And then he stood, walking out and hearing the other two follow him.  
  
"What is it, Keith?" Shiro asked, and Keith led them to his room, making for his bedding.  
  
Pidge wrinkled her nose, "It smells like sex in here."  
  
"How do you even know what that _smells_ like?" Shiro asked.  
  
"I'm _not_ a twelve year old and I _assume_ this is what it smells like because that's what you two were doing." she said, and then smirked, "You just proved me right."  
  
Keith ignored them and dug until he found his knife, at which Shiro stared, eyes wide.  
  
"Where were you hiding that? In the bedding?"  
  
Keith ignored it and sat down on the bed, unwrapping the glowing marking. He saw Shiro and Pidge approach from his periphery, but he was staring at the blade in awe. "I _knew_ they looked familiar." Keith murmured as he touched the purple mark, stroking it reverently. "I've had this since I can remember." he added in a whisper, "My pop gave it to me."  
  
"Your mother's?" Shiro covered Keith's hand with his own and sat beside him.  
  
Keith nodded, "I suppose so." Shiro rubbed his shoulders, and Keith shuddered, hanging his head so Pidge wouldn't see his eyes brim with unshed tears. "Do you think maybe...she might be _alive?"_ he wondered aloud.  
  
Shiro hugged him tighter, and he ducked his head as he discreetly sniffed, wiping the back of a hand at his eyes.  
  
"If she is, we'll try to find her." Shiro murmured, kissing his temple.  
  
Keith frowned and curled his fist around the hilt of the blade, vision growing blurry as the question occurred to him, a question he had repeated and and repeated to himself his entire life:  
  
Why did she _leave?_

* * *

  
Keith awoke a couple days after his heat had ended to a familiar throbbing, yet with none of the feverish need behind it. He bit his lip and keened as he reached down and lazily tugged at himself. He didn't want to bother Shiro, the poor man was exhausted after those few days of nonstop intercourse. And Keith didn't blame him because apparently Keith had an inhuman refractory period.  
  
Keith twisted in his sheets and whimpered as his arousal urged at him yet again.  Fuck if he could resist tending to it...

He reached behind himself, rolling onto his side and propping his foot against his mattress to spread himself while he prodded his hole, not so slick as his heats usually made it. He whined as he slipped two fingers in and then prodded a third, panting as he scissored them and arched away from the mattress. He couldn't reach that one spot Shiro always got at this angle, and he did thrash around a lot in his attempts, so it wasn't exactly a surprise when Shiro stirred. Keith groaned as he slowed himself, turning a weary gaze Shiro's way.  
  
Shiro blinked at him from where he lay on his belly, arms curled around his pillow and his cheek squished into the cushion of it. Keith couldn't quite stop the way his fingers pried inside himself, the sounds obscene and obvious.  
  
"I thought it was over?" Shiro rasped, voice thick with sleep.  
  
Keith closed his eyes and redoubled his efforts, " _Ah_...it is." he said, "Just...just got a little...just felt like it."  
  
Shiro chuckled, trailing off into a groan of mock annoyance, "You're just _normal horny?"_  
  
Keith nodded, heaving a breathless laugh, "Yeah." he murmured, "I'm fine though, I can handle it."  
  
Shiro raised a brow and propped himself up on his elbow, eyes raking down Keith's body, pupils blown and chewing on his lower lip, dilemma evident in his expression.  
  
Keith huffed and turned his gaze to the ceiling, hand moving faster while the opposite one curled tight around his cock.  
  
_"What?"_ he panted, a little self-conscious despite himself. He knew Shiro was probably admiring him, though his silence was unnerving.  
  
"Just letting you handle it." Shiro whispered, and Keith groaned.  
  
"Then why..." he cut himself off with a whine and slowed his fingers, "Why...are you _staring_ at me?"  
  
Shiro just hummed, and Keith turned a frustrated gaze his way, watching how he watched Keith stroke his hand over himself, inside himself. "You didn't say I couldn't _look_."  
  
Keith huffed, "It's _distracting_."  
  
Shiro chuckled, "You want me to _stop?"_  
  
Keith turned his face into the pillow, eyes screwed shut as he tried to reach his peak, frantic and desperate. " _Fuck_..."  
  
"Something wrong?" Shiro wondered, partially out of concern and partially teasing.  
  
" _Shiro_..." Keith whined as he writhed, "Fuck...Shiro I _need_ -" he cut himself off and Shiro trailed fingers over his heaving chest.  
  
"What do you need, baby?"  
  
Keith opened his eyes and pulled both hands away from himself to grasp for Shiro and pull him atop him. "Need _you_."  
  
"What happened to _'I can handle it'_?" Shiro teased even as he was yanked into a clawing kiss, Keith's nails raking down his back and grasping onto his ass to pull his hips into Keith's.  
  
Keith keened at the drag of Shiro against him, even partially clothed as he was, tossing his head back as Shiro trailed kisses down his neck, of which throbbed uncannily toward the nape. He buried one hand in Shiro's hair to keep him there, directing him to lick and nip at where he felt like he needed him. And when he did Keith had to bite his lip to keep from shouting, bucking up against him and chanting _Yes! Yes! Yes!_ as Shiro reached between them to line his cock up and carefully press inside of Keith.  
  
His heat embellished a lot, but it did not embellish the way Keith's jaw fell open and he tensed, overwhelmed, as Shiro pushed inside of him. It didn't embellish that Shiro was _just that big_ , that he filled him up in all the right places and that he was really good at finding that extra sensitive place, sliding right in...good to know.  
  
Keith blinked watery eyes up at Shiro and offered him a smile as he began to move, a careful slide out and a sharp, startling slap of his pelvis against Keith.  
  
Good to _fucking know._  
  
His hands scrambled for purchase in the fabric of his pillow, legs latched around Shiro's hips and pulling him into each powerful thrust, encouraging his pace to grow swifter. He could tell that Shiro wanted to paint himself as a more subdued sort of lover, though he gave in rather easily to Keith's goading. He drew in sharp, ragged breaths and gave low moans in Keith's ear, resting his weight on his elbows while he positively _plowed_ into him.

He was _perfect._  
  
Keith vocalized his own pleasure in muffled cries and whines and aborted screams that he didn't really know he was _capable_ of creating. It was a lot more embarrassing outside of his heat, during which he could hardly bring himself to care because of the haze of need. Now it brought a deep flush to his cheeks that he could _feel_ , skin burning and making Shiro smile breathlessly as he looked down at him.  
  
"You're cute." Shiro panted, and Keith threw an arm over his eyes, gasping for air so that he could refute him.  
  
A feat of which proved impossible when Shiro dragged his hips into his lap and redoubled his efforts with the new angle. Needless to say, Keith's attempt at deflecting notions of being cute in any sense of the word was cut off in a punched out moan. His arm remained over his eyes, while the other reached for Shiro's hand, entangling their fingers and being pressed into the bedding.  
  
" _Keith_."  
  
He shook his head, rocking his hips into Shiro's motions.  
  
"Let me see you."  
  
A gentle touch on his arm, and Keith bit back a moan and a laugh as he shook his head once more.  
  
" _No_." he whined, gasping as Shiro just went faster, ripping a cry from his throat.  
  
"Please?" Shiro kissed at his lips where they were exposed and Keith laughed well and truly then. "I wanna see you come." Shiro murmured. Keith relented at that and Shiro threaded his metal fingers through Keith's to pull his hand away, pressing it into the mattress in similar fashion to his other hand.  
  
" _Shiro_." Keith moaned, eyes screwed shut and his body bowing up from the mattress. "Shiro.... _nnng!"_  
  
Shiro kissed him again, slow and languid to counter the desperate way he slammed his cock into Keith, drawing moan after moan from him and then making Keith seize up as he came in a white mess between them. Shiro fucked him through it, slowing as Keith came down with a whimper and grinding torturously slow inside of him to reach his own end.  
  
" _Shiro_..." Keith rasped, turning his face toward him where he was nuzzling into his neck. He pressed lazy kisses to the shell of his ear and panted against his skin when Shiro finally tensed and pulsed and he was filled with a delectable warmth that made him sigh in contentment.  
  
"Mmm, _there you go_." Shiro panted, and Keith blinked watery eyes open to give him a questioning look. Shiro smiled and pressed a chaste peck to Keith's nose, "You're so _beautiful_ when you come."  
  
Keith scoffed even as he blushed, hunching his shoulders. "You're... _silly_." he decided on, and he smiled as Shiro laughed and gently pulled out.  
  
"And _you're_ stubborn." Shiro sat back on his haunches and heaved a sigh, "You know you can ask me to help whenever you need, right?"  
  
Keith grew a little more somber and nodded, "I just...didn't want to exhaust you."  
  
Shiro pouted, playful, "What an insult to my stamina."  
  
Keith chuckled, "I didn't mean it like _that_."  
  
Shiro crowded over him, propped up on his arms and laughing along with him, "I'll have you know I must have fucked you at least _twenty times_ in _three days_. That's a lot, baby."  
  
Keith nodded, blush returned full-force. "Sorry."  
  
"It's wasn't unpleasant, a bit overwhelming, and _yeah_ , I _was_ pretty tired." Shiro rolled onto his side and Keith turned his head to smile softly at him. "But yeah, just let me know when you need a hand." he stroked the fingers of his flesh hand down Keith's belly and teasingly tapped at his cock, soft between his legs, and made Keith giggle.  
  
"I will if you will." Keith said, and Shiro bit his lip with a blush of his own as he considered.  
  
"O- _oh_." Shiro managed, and Keith didn't miss the stutter in his voice.  
  
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Keith grinned, rolling to face him.  
  
"I'd be lying if I said I hadn't daydreamed about it." Shiro murmured, not meeting his gaze.  
  
Keith grabbed for his hand and twined their fingers together, leaning forward to press a warm kiss to already red, swollen lips. "One of these days, then." he said as he parted from him and settled his head on his pillow.  
  
Shiro nodded and chuckled sheepishly as he glanced down the length of Keith's body, "You want a shower?"  
  
Keith groaned and buried his face in the pillow, "I don't wanna _get up._ "  
  
"What if we need to form Voltron?" Shiro teased, and Keith turned a glare his way, obscured by his bangs.  
  
"Don't jinx it." he growled.  
  
Shiro smirked and stood up from the bed, reaching over to grab Keith despite his surprised yowl of protest and hoist him over his shoulder.  
  
_"Shiro!!"_  
  
"No _buts_ about it, Keith." Shiro punctuated his sentence with a firm smack of his hand against Keith's ass, kneading teasingly and brushing a finger over where Keith was puffy and leaking from their coitus.  
  
Keith gasped and gave Shiro an offended scowl as he set him down on the floor. Shiro didn't seem to miss the way his cock had gone half-hard from the tease, and he only smiled as he bent to start the shower.  
  
_"Already?"_  
  
Keith turned to the side, arms crossed and his knees rubbing together to ease his need for friction.  
  
"I never said I wasn't like this _off_ my heats." Keith mumbled.  
  
"So you're _always_ this easy to rile?" Shiro asked, genuinely curious as he grasped Keith's arm and directed him into the shower.  
  
"Sometimes." Keith shrugged, moving to stand underneath the spray and get drenched. He must have looked like a wet cat, head ducked, arms crossed and his hair plastered over his skin and his eyes. He smiled up at Shiro without opening his eyes, and Shiro chuckled as he placed a warm hand on his shoulder, pulling him just enough that he could lather soap into his hair without it immediately rinsing out.  
  
"You're gonna get it in my eyes." Keith tilted his head up and Shiro swiped his hair out of his face courteously.  
  
"You feeling okay, baby?"  
  
Keith frowned, reaching his hands under the spray to wipe whatever soap might be on his face away before he blinked up at Shiro. "What do you mean?"  
  
Shiro gave him a lopsided smile, "You've been pretty happy lately, but...I don't know, today you seem a little off." he pressed the back of his hand to Keith's bared forehead, "And a little warm."  
  
Keith didn't respond beyond a hum, and Shiro helped him rinse his hair before he made his way to scrub down the length of his body. Keith writhed a little under his touch, and Shiro kissed at the small of his back, over his hip and the swell of his ass, hands stroking his thighs and squeezing gently.  
  
"Have you seen Coran recently?"  
  
Shiro paused and choked on a laugh, " _Keith_ ," he wheezed, incredulous, "You can't talk about other people while I'm contemplating eating you out."  
  
Keith chuckled, "Is _that_ what you're doing back there?" he asked as he looked over his shoulder.  
  
Shiro pursed his lips and turned his gaze to the side in a dramatic sigh, "Mood's ruined now."  
  
Keith snickered and buried his face in his hands, " _Sorry_..."  
  
"Why did you ask about Coran?" Shiro wondered, resting his chin atop the cleft of Keith's butt.  
  
Keith widened his stance as Shiro stroked his knuckles along the inside of Keith's thigh. "Wanted to ask him more questions. About me."  
  
Shiro stilled only for a moment before he nodded against Keith's skin and planted a kiss to the small of his back, "I see." he said, "So there _is_ something bothering you?"  
  
Keith sighed and Shiro gently urged that he turn, still on his knees and honestly making Keith's body react in a manner highly inappropriate to the current subject of conversation. "I didn't think too hard about it before." he began, blushing and smiling at himself, "I was distracted by my heat and a certain someone." he gave Shiro a pointed look, and he smirked. "But I was going over what he said to me in my head and he...said something about breeding and fertility."  
  
Shiro raised a brow, gone rather red at the reminder. "Yeah, he did."  
  
He didn't get it.  
  
"Shiro...I'm a _guy_."  
  
Shiro nodded.  
  
"What does he mean by _fertile?"_  
  
Shiro's brows furrowed, "Ah...well, you did _come_ a lot?" he suggested, "I mean it was all over the bed." he chuckled sheepishly at Keith's grimace.  
  
Keith sighed, "And _breeding?"_ he prompted.  
  
Shiro looked rather lost, a little concerned, but overall Keith could see that he was having trouble grasping what he was trying to ask.  
  
"I just...I want to ask him for clarification." Keith said, "I'm... _worried_."  
  
"Worried?"  
  
"Shiro do I need to spell it out?" Keith moved to sit before him, wiping wet hair from his face.  
  
Shiro stared at him for a moment before clarity washed over his features like the spray at Keith's back.  
  
" _Oh_." he blinked, and Keith nodded. " _Surely_ he would have said?" Shiro contemplated as he crossed his arms.  
  
"I mean, if that's what he meant by it then technically he _did_ say." Keith said, "And you know Coran and his tendencies to be vague. It's always learn later with him."  
  
Shiro heaved a sigh and nodded, hand reaching for Keith's, "You're not wrong." he murmured, "But...if that's true and you can...or you...already might have..." he trailed off, " _Fuck_."  
  
Keith gulped and turned his gaze down, "If that's true...if I can get _pregnant_..."  
  
"That's so weird to hear." Shiro chuckled as he covered his face with metal fingers.  
  
"How do you think _I_ feel?" Keith hunched his shoulders and pulled his hand away from Shiro's, arms crossed around his knees.  
  
" _Hey_."  
  
Keith glanced up at him through a curtain of sopping hair.  
  
Shiro smiled, reaching out to touch his cheek, "We don't know for sure yet. Why don't we cross that bridge when we come to it, instead of worrying ourselves silly over it now when it might not be true?"  
  
Keith took a deep breath, anxiety welling in his chest but a smile gracing his lips as he gave a nod and leaned into Shiro's gentle coaxing for a kiss.  
  
"Either way, we'll work through it, okay?"  
  
"Okay."

* * *

  
Keith tracked Coran down on the bridge, and Shiro proceeded to pull out his tablet in a facade of normalcy, what with the other paladins and even the Princess present.  
  
"Hello Number Four." Coran said with a friendly smile when Keith approached him, and Keith murmured a hello in return, eyeing everyone to be sure he had not attracted attention before he tapped Coran on the shoulder.  
  
Once he had his attention he gave him a pointed look and gestured to the door.  
  
"Problem?"  
  
Keith's expression went desperate and earnest and Coran gave a silent _"Oh."_ and then flashed him a wink. "Come along." he whispered, and Keith managed to send Shiro a nervous smile as he followed the Altean.  
  
"I assume this has to do with your heritage." Coran said as he led them down the hall, quieted in his tone enough that their words wouldn't carry.  
  
"I had a question or two." Keith said alongside a nod.  
  
"Well that's good. Owning your heritage is important."  
  
"About my _heats_." Keith said, and Coran only nodded once more.  
  
"Ah, yes, I'd assume now that you're entirely lucid it would be an ideal time to learn."  
  
"You mentioned fertility."  
  
"That I did. I'm surprised you remember." Coran said with a proud look about him.  
  
"Well, learning I'm half Galra _was_ enough to shock me out of my haze for a while." Keith grumbled.  
  
"Still a sensitive subject, then?" Coran said as he turned them into the medical bay. Probably the best place for privacy, Keith figured.  
  
And the best place to ask:  
  
"Can I get pregnant?"  
  
Coran didn't seem fazed in the slightest as he replied with a simple, "I don't know."  
  
Keith stared at him, " _Wha_...it's actually a _possibility?"_ he floundered, "But I'm a _guy!"_  
  
Coran chuckled, "Hybrids are always a jumble of possibilities. And for Galran omegas your sex is no hindrance in that regard." he said as he patted the exam table, upon which last time Keith had sat he was a writhing, horny mess. He sat down this time with flushed cheeks and crossed arms, contemplating what Coran was saying and growing more anxious by the minute. "The only way to tell is to check." Coran continued.  
  
_"Check?"_ Keith straightened, frankly scared.  
  
"It's a simple procedure, just lay back, I hope you don't mind if I lift your shirt?" Coran pinched the hem of said shirt between forefinger and thumb and Keith frowned.  
  
"What does this... _procedure_...entail?"  
  
Coran held up a white object, "Its not invasive. It's similar to a scan, though I don't know the human word for it." he said as he let Keith handle the item. It was like a thick disk, though cut in half to be an arch instead of a circle, with a glowing blue line on the flat side. "If you'll permit?" Coran held his hand open, and Keith gingerly handed it back.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Coran lifted his shirt and Keith settled back against the table, of which was not flat as it had been before, just enough that he was propped up. He flinched when Coran ran the cold object over his belly, low enough to be uncomfortable, and thoroughly checked him, all the while glancing at the tablet in his opposite hand.  
  
"So?" Keith prompted.  
  
"Well, there's no way to be perfectly certain unless you happen to conceive." Coran explained, "That said, it would seem that as you avoided pregnancy now and it was not your first heat, we can assume there is a chance you may never conceive."  
  
Keith nodded, "So...it's _not_ possible?"  
  
"As I said before, hybrids are a right tangle of possibilities, my boy." Coran ran the device over his belly again, "The fact that you are a half-breed _can_ render you infertile in and of itself. But according to the fact that you have intact and healthily functioning Galran sexual organs in accordance with your subset, it is still possible that this time you just got lucky and avoided pregnancy."  
  
Keith was rubbing his fingers into his temples, " _Can_ you give me a straight yes or no?"  
  
"I'm afraid not." Coran said, "There _is_ a possibility, that is all I can tell you with certainty. And...frankly I wish we had a Galran who could tell you for certain."  
  
Keith sighed and sank back against the table, "So...am I always...fertile?"  
  
Coran hummed, "Most omegas tend not to be, and in the case of the male omega your chances are even slimmer. Heats are specifically designed to be a period in which Galrans can almost always impregnate their mates." he sat himself down on the edge of the table as he spoke, "Afterward omegas remain as fertile as their heats enable them for a cycle or two."  
  
"That's a week, right? A cycle is a week?" Keith clarified.  
  
"Yes, in human terms." Coran nodded, "Anyway, this is called post-heat, and during which you will occasionally experience untoward arousal, throbbing in the scent glands and the mating glands, fatigue, and an enticing scent."  
  
Keith checked all those points off and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Scent glands? _Mating glands?"_  
  
"Right _here_." Coran pressed a finger into the opposite side of his nape and Keith shocked himself with the moan that was punched out of him.  
  
" _Oh!_ Whoops."  
  
Keith flushed and Coran pulled away with a nervous chuckle.  
  
"I see." he murmured, "More sensitive than I remember reading."  
  
"What _was_ that?"  
  
"That's the mating gland."  
  
Keith rubbed over the throbbing spot on his neck and nodded, "And... _what's_ a mating gland?"  
  
"When an Galran omega decides to bond with their mate, said mate will bite one or both of the glands, break the skin, and leave a permanent mark that informs all other potential mates that the omega is claimed." Coran explained.  
  
Keith scowled, "Sounds shitty."  
  
Coran didn't quite get that word yet, though he did have a semblance of the meaning, "I hear it's a rather blissful experience, I cannot confirm this myself, as _I'm_ no Galran omega." he chuckled, "Though omegas cannot throw it around lightly, once claimed this bond is physically painful to break, and it can send the omega into a depression."  
  
"Sounds _extra_ shitty." Keith grumbled. "Anything else I should know about? Please treat me like I'm stupid because there's probably something you already explained and I either misunderstood or missed." he added as Coran prepared to speak again.  
  
Coran hummed, "Well, I'm sure we've covered all bases, beyond Galran alphas, but with Shiro we should assume you won't be attempting to mate with any alphas."  
  
Keith raised both brows and nodded slowly, "Will _they_ be attempting to mate with _me?"_  
  
Coran seemed shocked, "Most alphas wouldn't, no. They would court and scent you to gain your attentions, perhaps eventual permissions." he explained, "Though, at least ten thousand years ago, omegas were to be treated with respect. There are the rare few deviants, but I would assume that most Galra you meet will not be untoward. Unless you are in heat at the time and thus, irresistible."  
  
Keith nodded, crossing his arms, "What's scenting?"  
  
"Well these little babies here-" Coran tilted Keith's chin upward and lightly touched two spots on the underside of his jaw. Unlike before, this did not conjure an obscene moan and instead just felt like a soft burn. "-contain your very own unique scent. All Galra have it, and they will rub these glands on their partners to mark them and ward off others from their territory." he said, and Keith blinked as he realized that _that_ was what he had been doing to Shiro. "Scenting is very intimate, though if you see a Galra sniffing you from afar then it is not considered intimate, more a way of scoping you out. And that is also how you tell what subset a Galra is."  
  
Keith blanched, "You mean...the Galra we fight _know_ I'm a Galra too?"  
  
"I doubt that, they'd have to get close enough to smell you and I would think during a fight that's not what their attentions would be on." Coran chuckled.  
  
Keith frowned, worried about the possibility his secret could be exposed before he was ready to tell it.  
  
"What's an alpha again?" he wondered offhandedly.  
  
"It's the opposite of an omega. Where omegas have heats and are inherently capable of conception, alphas are designed to help omegas in the process. Of which involves knotting and copious amounts of ejaculate-"  
  
"I don't need to know _that_ much." Keith held up his hand.  
  
Coran turned sheepish, "Right, right. My apologies."  
  
Keith absently placed a hand over his stomach, "So if I _did_ happen to get pregnant...is it the same as humans? How long do Galra take to...um... _be pregnant_ and what all does that entail? Do Galra make milk or lay eggs? If I had a baby would it have a tail or something alien-"  
  
" _Calm down_ , Number Four." Coran chuckled, "For one, I'm not sure. Galra gestate for roughly eleven phoebes-"  
  
"Months?"  
  
"Yes months. Don't interrupt." Coran held up his finger, "Your gestation may be either shorter or as long, depending on your human genes. Galra do _not_ lay eggs, they carry their babies in the uterus. As for features, that depends on the sire, if you mated a Galra the chances might actually be there, as for a human like Shiro-"  
  
Keith blushed.  
  
"-the probability is next to none, as you have no outward Galran features. Though it _could_ skip a generation." Coran said thoughtfully, "You _will_ produce milk, yes. Later in the pregnancy, I figure, just a phoebe or two before the child is born you'll become sore and-"  
  
"I get it." Keith pressed his face into his hands, heaving a sigh. "You're _sure_ I'm not pregnant?"  
  
"Positive."  
  
Keith relaxed, if marginally. "Okay. And can you do something about the possibility of me conceiving?"  
  
"Ahh, prevention?"  
  
"Like condoms or something." Keith said.  
  
_"Condoms?"_  
  
"For Shiro to wear so he doesn't... _come inside me?"_ Keith stressed in stuttering embarrassment.  
  
Coran's face was blank of recognition, "I can manufacture an injection that will render you infertile for a week or two. It would need to be administered before your heat and after. I'll set a reminder for myself, timed vaguely when I predict your next heat could be if that helps?"  
  
Keith pursed his lips as he heaved a sigh, "Okay, if that's my only option."  
  
Coran gave a single nod, "Would you like me to get working on that for your post-heat?"  
  
Keith bit his lip, considering. "I should...explain this to Shiro first." he murmured, "He deserves to know and...to have input."  
  
Coran tilted his head, "Keith...forgive me if I'm prying, but I get the vibe that maybe...do you _want_ a child?"  
  
Keith's frown deepened and he drew his knees up to his chest, hugging them as he rested his chin upon them.  
  
"I...don't know. I've never had to think about it before." he said, "I grew up knowing inherently that that was impossible for me. It's hard to snap out of that mindset."  
  
Coran hummed, reached over to pat him gently on the head and ruffle his wayward locks in a way that brought a small smile to Keith's face.  
  
"You go talk to Shiro, get this mess sorted out, and you come back to me if you need that injection."  
  
Keith nodded, a tangled ball of anxiety welling up inside him.  
  
Funny how his immediate answer, the one he had quelled to feign uncertainty, was _yes_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better be careful Keith. Also practice safe sex, Shiro and Keith are naughty and you should not follow their example.  
>  **Question:**  
>  _Oh, I just had a thought, are crossbreeds more or less likely to be a particular sub-gender than full Galra? Because with the disdain Zarkon has for Lotor, there's a lot of bad things that could happen to an unprotected omega teenager (whose father is widely reviled), and Lotor may grow up to be a jerk, but no one deserves that. - Kisari_
> 
> One thing that can either make an ABO interesting or make it eerie is that it is often stereotyped into omegas being mistreated and subjected to abuse both mental and physical by their alpha superiors, objectified and considered weak.  
> In this particular ABO universe that is not the case. Galra customs toward their omegas are different in the sense that omegas are considered precious, to be protected and nurtured, as they contribute heavily to furthering the generations along. An idea further reinforced by the Galran Empire's quest to conquer the universe. The future is always prioritized. 
> 
> As for the likelihood of being born an omega or an alpha based on being a crossbreed...  
> For Galran hybrids having a subset isn't rare but it's not a guarantee either. It depends on the other half, and it depends on whether the Galra parent is an alpha or an omega, case of which can (but won't reliably) have a stronger impact on whether the offspring is an alpha or an omega. Betas are less prevalent in any of these circumstances, as their subset is rather moot, no added traits, reproductive organs, or heats/ruts. The further removed from a Galra in DNA the alien species is the more likely you are not to have a subset. That said, in Lotor's case, Alteans are one of the closest compatible to the Galra, (as I remember the show stating somewhere that Daibazaal and Altea were in the same solar system).  
> In any case, for hybrids there is an automatic disdain, and though Lotor's story is about that same as in the show, as previously stated it is considered shameful to mistreat an omega. In all honestly I haven't quite decided if he's an omega or not...if he ends up being so, then he's got a badass group of lesbian, alpha females as his generals and that's the tea. And if he is an omega (which honestly he very well might be)...Zarkon hardly interacts with him in any case, and likely wouldn't willfully do so just because his son presented as an omega.  
> I hope that answers your question (and assures you, that is a worrying thought)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH Guys I'm so sorry this took forever! I had like 4k written and sitting around for the past 3-4 months and then a few days ago I was like, _y'know what? I'm tired of staring at a screen, I'm finishing this chapter, right NOW_. And I wrote the rest of this chapter in a desperate frenzy lol. It's a big one that I thought about separating but I just decided nah cause the first chapter is about the same length so  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ (and it was gonna be even fucking longer but there's like 15-20k more words to cover what I had planned for it if I did so meh that'll be next chapter) 
> 
> Anyway! We're delving a little more into plot and character development in this one, also managed to squeeze a couple sex scenes into this monster cause that's what you're all really here for amiright? 
> 
> I am taking liberties and twisting the general plot of Voltron around here and there, most of it will remain the same but I am making a few major changes. This chapter covers the rest of season 1 and delves into season 2, also spans about 3-4 months in time. There will be copious time skips in the future, most of the episode's plots will be vaguely referenced and changes will be expositioned in-story. 
> 
> Enjoy the exposition, tidbits of suspense and foreshadowing, drama, and the sex! Wheeeee!

He found Shiro in the observation deck, pouring away over his tablet and positively absorbed in his work. He didn't seem to notice Keith entering, so he only crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, fond as he watched Shiro furrow his brow, heave a sigh, and change something before he sat back to stare at his tablet again.  
  
Keith worked his lower lip between his teeth, still processing the information dump Coran had bestowed upon him. If he were honest he only _truly_ understood some of it. And even that much was a lot to take in. His head reeled with it all and he wasn't even sure he remembered everything that had been said. He was mostly focused on how nervous he was now that he knew other Galra could potentially sniff him out.  
  
That...would be a terrible way to come out to his friends.  
  
Or it could be a better way...if they believed he didn't even _know_. _Or_ it might be better to tell them now, help them trust him more if they thought he would come to them willingly with it. But that was the problem. He wasn't _ready_ now, and he was scared. He didn't like hiding it, but there was no helping it.  
  
"Oh, hey Keith."  
  
Keith blinked and turned his severe gaze up from where he had been glaring a hole into the floor. He almost lost track of where he was.  
  
"Hey." he murmured.  
  
Shiro gave a tentative smile, likely trepidatious at Keith's own solemn behavior. "Everything okay?" he wondered as he patted the lounge seat beside him.  
  
Keith nodded and moved to take that space, sitting down with a sigh and leaning his head on Shiro's shoulder as he glanced down at the various configurations on his tablet. "Yeah, I'm just thinking."  
  
Shiro was silent for a moment, hand coming up to rest on the space between Keith's shoulders. "What about? Did your talk with Coran go well?"  
  
Keith hummed, "I suppose so. I don't...exactly know much more than I did beforehand." he murmured.  
  
"And...you were worried about what he said...did he clarify that for you?" Shiro prodded.  
  
"There wasn't a definite yes or no." Keith said, staring down at his knees, "Coran's not sure. I could or I may never. Apparently there's no telling unless it actually happens."  
  
Shiro took another moment of silence before he gave a rather nonchalant hum, one that surprised Keith into turning his way. "Well, that's interesting, at least. Did you learn anything else?"  
  
Keith blinked at him, "You're not...perturbed? Worried?" _  
_  
Shiro tilted his head, lips pursed, "I mean, it's not something I ever had to worry about before." he said with a brief smirk, and Keith shoved him playfully, "But we can just use condoms or...or something, _right?"_  
  
Of course Shiro would think so logically, and of course Keith felt silly for fearing his reaction, even a little. But that said, a little coil of disappointment settled in his gut that he couldn't quite decipher. Still, logically speaking, he knew this was no time to even consider anything like _that_. They were the Paladins of Voltron, in the middle of a war. It was silly, really, to have thought otherwise for even a moment.  
  
Keith gave a nod to himself, leaning against Shiro once more.  
  
"Right." he said, despite his inner turmoil. "Coran has an injection for that."  
  
Shiro hummed as he typed at his tablet, reconfiguring some sort of strategy. "That's good."  
  
"There was something else." Keith added, and Shiro stilled in wait for him to  continue.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Keith picked at some grime under his fingernail, "Apparently Galra can smell me, or they might. I don't know why the ones we fought didn't seem to notice, but Coran said it must have been the fact that we were...heh, fighting. The suits could block it too, now that I think of it."  
  
"Okay?" Shiro prodded, confused.  
  
Keith shuffled, "I'm just...paranoid I could get ousted by some random Galra in the middle of a battle or something and I'm just not ready for everyone to know yet." he paused to duck his head, " _I've_ barely come to terms with it."  
  
Shiro nodded as he pressed a kiss against Keith's temple, "I understand. But I don't know what we can do to prevent that inevitability?"  
  
Keith sighed, "Me neither." he turned a wry smile Shiro's way, "Especially when I'm near my heats, apparently I'm supposed to be _irresistible_. Pheromones or something. But I guess we won’t have to worry about that for a few months." he waved his hand dismissively and turned his gaze back down to his lap.  
  
He didn't notice the way Shiro stilled and stared at Keith in some small sort of horror as he realized just _what_ had been bothering him for a while now. Ever since Keith's first day of heat, actually.  
  
Shiro had thought it was weird, weird that when Keith's heat started and he had no fucking clue what was _going on_ that he just gave in and did what Keith was asking of him. Granted he _had_ thought about it, questioned the _hell_ out of it, but...that small revelation brought to mind doubts about whether he was even in his right mind _while_ he thought about it? It didn't feel right that he forgot about his own concerns so easily and succumbed to his more carnal desires. Did...did these pheromones work on humans too?  
  
Shiro stared at Keith where he was heaving a sigh and rubbing circles into his own thighs, anxious.  
  
Shiro gave a sigh of his own. It was not a subject he felt would be appropriate to bring up right this moment. Despite the fact that Shiro's skin had gone clammy, a chill running down his spine as he realized that maybe he hadn't _entirely_ wanted it the first time. With what Keith had said in context, it just made sense that he had been so... _out of it_ , compliant in spite of his worry. In any case, he didn't want Keith to feel guilty about it, he had already voiced _that_ concern and Shiro had already assured that it was all alright. And despite not truly knowing that for sure anymore, he did know that it most definitely wasn't Keith's fault. Whatever might be true, he couldn't control this part of him, and it wouldn't be _fair_ to blame him.  
  
Still, a small part of Shiro was feeling a little violated, and he turned his head with a wince as he thought about it.  
  
No. It was over with now. If that was indeed the case, Keith didn't mean to. It was fine.  
  
It really was _fine_.  
  
"Shiro...should I tell them anyway?"  
  
Shiro blinked out of his thoughts instantly and reached out to hold Keith's hand, "I think you _should_ tell them. Eventually."  
  
Keith rubbed his fingers into his temple, weary. "I know."  
  
" _Eventually,_ Keith." Shiro enunciated, "When you're _ready_. And if we end up needing to tell them because we're forced to, then we do that. There's just no getting around it."  
  
Keith nodded, glum.  
  
" _Hey_." Shiro turned him with a finger on his chin, giving him a soft smile, "Don't worry, Keith. Whatever happens, I'm on your side, so are Pidge and Coran."  
  
Keith smiled, tentative, but genuine. "Thank you, Shiro." he whispered.  
  
Shiro pulled him into a hug and Keith all but melted into him, tension gone in a low whoosh of breath. It made him feel better to make Keith feel better.  
  
"We'll work it out as it comes." Shiro murmured, and Keith hugged him tighter for it. They stayed like that for a time, Keith having climbed into his lap like a little spider-monkey and just snuggled into his neck while Shiro stared out at the stars and rubbed both hands up and down Keith's back.  
  
"I'm gonna go get that injection from Coran, then." Keith said as he gently eased away from Shiro a good ten or twenty minutes later, "Don't want to risk any, uh... _accidents_." he added with an incredulous laugh.  
  
Shiro chuckled and cleared his throat, obviously embarrassed, "Yeah...that was a little reckless of us, huh?"  
  
Keith shrugged, "We couldn't have known."  
  
Shiro nodded, "Um...want me to come with?"  
  
Keith ducked his head, "That's okay, I don't wanna interrupt you any more than I already have. It's just a shot."  
  
Shiro searched his eyes, concern mirrored in his own, though he smiled assuringly throughout it. "You're sure?"  
  
Keith nodded once more, "Of course." he said, leaning in for a simple peck on the lips, lingering with a sigh before he pulled away entirely and strode out with a smile cast over his shoulder.  
  
Shiro sunk into his seat and rubbed the heels of his palms into his eyes once he was gone.  


* * *

  
Keith grit his teeth as the needle pricked his skin, sighing and cringing as Coran pat his arm with a swab once finished.  
  
"All done!"  
  
Keith glanced at his arm and hummed, silently resenting the odd tingles the injection left behind, "Thanks." he sighed, "Hey Coran, I was curious, where'd you learn all this stuff about the Galra? Why would you know how to make something like this?"  
  
Coran spun in place and lifted his hand to count on his fingers, "Well, for one, the Castle was designed with many species and their wellbeing in mind. ‘Twas meant to house Voltron and Voltron is the Defender of the Universe, after all."  
  
Keith hummed and nodded at that, sounded logical.  
  
"Secondly, Daibazaal was in the same solar system as Altea. As galactic neighbors in our advanced space age, most of us grew up living amongst one another, so...biology classes involved learning about ourselves and the Galra alike." he explained, "Granted...my information may be considerably dated. It _has_ been ten thousand years after all."  
  
Keith raised a brow, absently listening while his head swam with a wave of nausea over his injection. "That's assuring." he muttered sarcastically.  
  
"Evolution accounted for and the fact that Galra hybrids have been around since I can remember it's likely they've only grown more compatible with other species since then. What with the universal conquering and all. Suppose that explains why you exhibit so many Galran traits despite your human heritage." Coran continued on his train of thought, "Did I ever tell you that a fair percentage of the population on Altea were Galran and Altean hybrids?"  
  
Keith blinked up at him, " _Really?_ "  
  
"Indeed!"  
  
Keith kicked his legs where they hung from the table, lips pursed as he considered that. "Wha- _wait!_ " his head snapped up and he gaped at Coran for a moment before he could speak, it had just sunk in what Coran had said. It was shocking to think once he really considered it, "What do you mean...did you just say Galra lived _with_ the Alteans?!"  
  
Coran stared at him, "Ahh...a fair amount, yes. Were you not listening?"  
  
Keith scoffed in disbelief as his heart sank, "What...Allura calls us-ah, I mean... _them_ , monsters, she says they _destroyed_ Altea. The Galra are at war with the whole _universe!_ They have been for _thousands_ of years..." Keith turned a sorrowful frown to the floor as he considered what he just said. Referring to himself and the Galra collectively...  
  
Coran seemed to sense his sudden sadness and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's a long story, but this war had only lasted a decapheobe or so before we were sent into cryo-sleep. And yet while Allura was growing up she - like the rest of the Alteans - lived in peace with the Galra. It was the same on Daibazaal."  
  
"So the Galra... _aren't_ evil?" Keith wondered, feeling rather small and unsure. The question had been plaguing him, as of late.  
  
"Oh! Hardly." Coran waved his hand, "My boy, if I may, morality is a very grey subject, and while you can choose to see it through a black and white lens, like Allura does due to unjust experience, the truth is that it is far too broad a spectrum to narrow down. You can say, in a general sense, that there are good Galra, like _you_." he ruffled Keith's hair, and Keith's cheeks flamed with embarrassment at that even as he smiled, "And that there are bad Galra, like say Sendak. But the point of the matter is, that's because of your personal choices in life. Your current values. If someone had shown a man like Sendak a different path early on, then maybe he wouldn't be who he was today, maybe he would be more like you." Coran heaved a sigh, "It's merely his misfortune that it didn't happen for him. _No one_ is inherently evil, my boy."  
  
Keith nodded and uncurled his fists from where they had rested tight on his thighs. It had been a fear of his, since finding out, that maybe he was destined to fall at some point down the dark path that most Galra had taken. It felt good to be reassured that it wasn't his destiny to become something he didn't want to be.  
  
"Hey Coran?"  
  
"Yes, Keith?"  
  
Keith turned a smile his way, heaving a sigh as he relaxed, "Thanks. It means more, coming from you. You have no reason to like the Galra."  
  
Coran smiled and ruffled his hair once more, "Of course, dear boy. No I don’t, but I like to think I’m learned enough by now not to judge a book by it’s cover."  
  
Keith smiled at the familiar phrase as he stood and straightened with a groan at the swirling warning in his gut, "Is the nausea normal?" he asked, rubbing his forehead.  
  
"Ah, yes, that may last for the remainder of the quintent." Coran said.  
  
Keith grumbled and collected his jacket, " _Fun_."  
  
"Let me know if it persists tomorrow. And - fair warning - you may end up vomiting before the day is out."  
  
Keith groaned and Coran stood to pat him on the back.  
  
"I've set up a vague reminder on my database to re-administer when your next heat arrives in approximately six pheobes. Though I can’t be entirely accurate going off just one heat. You'll have to let me know if it's early."  
  
"Okay." Keith said as he turned to leave, and then he smiled as he looked over his shoulder, "Hey."  
  
Coran paused in tapping away at his tablet, "Yes, number four?"  
  
"I know you said it's a long story, but maybe you'll tell me someday?" Keith prompted.  
  
Coran smiled warmly at him, though his eyes were awash with a faint sort of sadness at the thought of that mysterious past, "I'll be sure to."  
  
Keith nodded and left, rubbing his arm through his jacket and hoping food goo wouldn't actually make him throw up.  


* * *

  
Keith spent the evening lounging on Shiro's chest and groaning whenever he tried to convince him to eat dinner.  
  
"Please, baby? Just a tiny cup of food goo?" Shiro prodded, stroking his fingers through Keith's hair.  
  
"Mention any food again...and I _swear_...I'm gonna hurl." Keith mumbled, words slurred with his exhaustion and his lips pressed into Shiro's neck.  
  
" _Keith_..." Shiro sighed in sympathy.  
  
"This is _your_ fault." Keith groaned, stabbing an accusing finger at Shiro's (wonderful) pectoral muscle, "If you weren't so... _mmgh_...then wouldn't sex and no shot." he grew less articulate as his sentence went on and he was just hoping this wave of nausea would subside for just _two minutes_ so he could finally fall asleep.  
  
"I can't help it if _you're_ the one jumping me, baby." Shiro chuckled, and the rapid movement made Keith's head spin as he made a retching noise that had Shiro scrambling for the bin beside their bed.  
  
" _Fuck_." Keith moaned as he set his chin atop the curved lip of the bin and waited for a second hurl that felt like it wasn't going to come.  
  
"You okay?" Shiro asked, rubbing his hand over Keith's back through his shirt.  
  
" _Peachy_." Keith growled, and Shiro stilled before he stroked his fingers through Keith's hair.  
  
"I'm sorry, baby."  
  
Keith had him set the bin down and rolled off of him to settle himself under the blanket and yawn. "Just wanna _sleep_." he murmured.  
  
Shiro was an angel who handled Keith with the utmost grace. He helped Keith take his shirt off and his jeans, pressed sweet kisses against his shoulder and scratched his back for half an hour until he finally fell asleep.  


* * *

  
"I've been studying that mark."  
  
Keith didn't startle, he had heard Pidge coming, and he simply turned his head with a curious tilt.  
  
"Mark?"  
  
Pidge settled into the seat beside him, offering him her tablet. Onscreen was a picture she had taken of his blade. "That glowing mark there." she pointed, "Coran said you were Galra, right? And you said your _dad_ said the blade was for you, so we assumed it was your mother's. Anyways, so I did a sweep in the files we downloaded from the past three Galran bases we've shut down for anything matching this marking. I couldn't find it anywhere." she said with a frown and a furrow of her brow. "So then I swept the general intergalactic net and it was the same! Not a _trace_ of it anywhere that I can find."  
  
Keith blinked at the breathless onslaught of her speech, "Oh." was all he could say in response.  
  
Pidge huffed and crossed her arms. "It doesn't make any sense."  
  
Keith hummed and pulled his knees to his chest, resting his chin upon them. "No, it _doesn't_." he said, "Why would a Galra be _on_ Earth in the first place?  
  
"Looking for the Blue Lion." Pidge said.  
  
"I know _that_ , but..." Keith rubbed at his forehead and scoffed, "Why would she stay long enough to have had me and then go? She's been gone since I can remember. I have so many questions. Like why would she even...how did I even _happen?_ Did she love my dad? Did she want me? Was I an accident?"  
  
Pidge's hand on his arm made him jolt, and he realized just how far into his downward spiral he had begun to go. "I'm...uh, I don't really know what to say? I'm not a therapist." she exhaled, and Keith turned to her with a sheepish smile.  
  
"I'm sorry." he murmured. "I didn’t mean...I'm not trying to project my identity problems on you."  
  
" _No!_ No, don't be sorry I just don't know how to help you there." Pidge assured, "Wish I did, but I'm just not good at people." she smiled back.  
  
"Join the club." Keith said, and she nudged him with a soft chuckle.  
  
"They're valid questions." Pidge continued after a bout of comfortable silence. "I'm sure I'd be just as curious. I mean I already _am_ curious but, it'd be just as troubling for me if I were in your shoes."  
  
Keith nodded, "Yeah."  
  
"We'll figure it out. Don't worry, Keith. She's still out there somewhere, I'm sure."  
  
"Thanks Pidge." Keith said, and then he turned a soft smile her way, "You know...I think maybe you're the first genuine friend I've made among the Paladins."  
  
Pidge smiled, "We're _all_ your friends, Keith. Otherwise I don't think we could form Voltron."  
  
Keith turned his gaze down, smile gone a little sad, "Doesn't feel like it." he murmured, "Not with all of you. I don't know, everyone besides you, Shiro...kind of Coran...they all feel like strictly colleagues. You know?"  
  
Pidge hummed, "I get that. I mean, we _are_ still your friends, though. You don't need to be up close and personal to be friends. But still, we'll just say I'm your _best_ friend."  
  
"Sorry, Shiro already has that spot." Keith scoffed and smiled.  
  
"Well I'm butting him out, it’s _my_ turn. Besides he's already your boyfriend and that's a step up from friends so the rest is all _free real estate_." Pidge gestured with her hands to the lounge and Keith chuckled, though he felt like he was missing a reference.  
  
"What's free real estate?"  
  
Keith turned his head down and picked at his jeans at the sound of Lance's voice and the subsequent footsteps that likely belonged to Hunk. A glance proved him right.  
  
Pidge causally lounged against the couch and shrugged, "Keith's friend list. _I_ just snagged his one and only best friend slot." she pointed both thumbs at herself, smug and triumphant, and Keith allowed himself a small smile at Lance's sputter.  
  
"Wait I thought _I_ was Keith's best friend."  
  
Keith glanced up at Hunk incredulously. And the other teen shrugged.  
  
"I mean I hugged you a couple times."  
  
The room went silent for a moment, and then Keith couldn't help his bark of laughter. He covered his lips with his hand and he turned his head as he giggled.  
  
"Woah."  
  
"That's weird to hear. Like really weird."  
  
Keith immediately blushed and schooled his face into a frown, "What's weird about laughing?"  
  
"Lance, come on." Pidge sighed.  
  
"He just never does it so...it's _weird!_ "  
  
" _I laugh!_ " Keith retorted, "I laugh a lot, actually. You're just usually preoccupied with irritating me so you don't tend to put me in a _good mood_." Keith deepened his scowl and crossed his arms.  
  
"That is kinda true, Lance. Maybe you should work less on antagonizing him and more on being an actual friend." Pidge said, picking at her nails absently.  
  
Lance lifted his finger and opened his mouth as if to retort, but then the door to the lounge opened again and his eyes went wide before he crossed his arms and put on his best flirting face.  
  
Allura then.  
  
"Hey Keith."  
  
_And_ Shiro.  
  
Keith whipped around in his seat, alert and excited to see him, and Pidge excused herself with hands lifted and a scoff that thinly veiled a smile. Shiro took her place and Keith sidled up to him easily, turning his head to nuzzle against him. Shiro stroked his fingers through Keith's hair and his eyes fluttered shut alongside a deep sigh of contentment.  
  
"It's _freaky_ how he just turns into a kitten around Shiro."  
  
Keith peered through a barely open eye to see Lance whispering conspiratorially (and not at all quietly) to Hunk, who was shaking his head with a smile.  
  
"I can hear you." he called out, and Lance squawked. Keith smirked and lifted his head, "By the way, Hunk, Pidge may have snagged the spot of best friend, but you can still be my friend."  
  
Hunk beamed, and Keith turned his head into Shiro's chest, inhaling the comforting scent of him that was definitely not as potent as it was during his heats. But still there.  
  
"Did I miss something?" Shiro wondered.  


* * *

  
Keith walked into the lounge and sat down heavily, tired and more than a little uncomfortable. The castle gone rogue was a terrifying experience, and in the end Allura had to give up her only remaining connection to her father. It was heartbreaking for Keith to witness, as he knew how losing parents felt. And now he could say that he had unfathomable respect for her, to be able to sever that connection at all.  
  
He rubbed his hand over his face and then he buried his face in both hands and sighed, just closing his eyes and bathing in the silence.  
  
Silence that was too loud after a time.  
  
Wallowing in his own thoughts wasn't helping. So he pushed himself to his feet and went to the training deck.  
  
There wasn't usually anyone else he expected to willingly be on the training deck - besides Shiro - so Keith was surprised to walk in and see Allura there. She wasn't fighting anything, or running any obstacle courses, so he ambled curiously over to where she was sitting straight-backed and cross-legged and cleared his throat.  
  
Allura's ear twitched and Keith sat himself down a few feet away, arms crossed in his usual emotional defense.  
  
"Hey." he murmured, and Allura opened her eyes, surprised.  
  
"I almost thought you might be Lance." she said in obvious relief.  
  
Keith scoffed with a slight smile, "I'm sure he'd make a lot more of a racket than me."  
  
Allura smiled in kind, "You're quite right. You have an air of grace about you that the other young Paladins lack." she said as she brought her hands up from where they rested on her knees and stretched them above her head. "What are you doing here?" she asked on a low groan as she brought her hands back down and her previously perfect posture slouched.  
  
She looked tired.  
  
"I was going to spar with the bot." Keith said, "I didn't expect to see you."  
  
Allura turned her head and bit her lip, sadness flickering in her eyes. "I suppose you wouldn't."  
  
"What are _you_ doing here?" Keith tried, turning one leg out so that he might stretch and warm himself up.  
  
Allura turned in place and unfurled to pull her knees up to her chest. "Meditating. Or... _trying_."  
  
Keith frowned, "Are...you okay?"  
  
Allura was silent for a beat too long for him to believe her when she scoffed a laugh, " _Yes_. Why would you think-"  
  
"Because it's okay if you're not." Keith reached out toward his foot again, casual and trying not to look at her because he was pretty sure her eyes were welling with tears. "I know how it feels to lose your dad."  
  
Allura shifted and Keith could feel her staring at him. He cringed at his inability to think before he spoke.  
  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to-"  
  
"You...lost your father?"  
  
Keith stilled and glanced up at her cautiously. She was staring down at her feet, blinking rapidly. " _Yeah_. He died when I was little."  
  
Allura nodded and wiped hastily at the cheek he couldn't see. "I see." she rasped.  
  
"Are you okay?" Keith repeated, intently.  
  
Allura turned her gaze up to the ceiling, laughing once more, though wryly. "Of course I'm _not_." she murmured. "I _can't_...I feel like I can't _grieve_. That I need to put on a strong face for you Paladins and be someone you can all rely on, _but-_ " she cut herself off as her breath hitched. "I'm sorry, I must look a mess to you." she wiped at her face again.  
  
"No." Keith said simply, moving to sit across from her once more, mimicking her and resting his chin upon his knees. "You know, I'm bad at emotions. I'm even worse at people." he said, "But I think you can rest assured everyone else doesn't care if you show that you have feelings. In fact it might make a better impression on the team if they can see that you're just as vulnerable as them."  
  
Allura looked at him, trying to discreetly wipe her nose on her sleeve.  
  
"You've always kind of been this untouchable person. Always so strong and inspiring, but...to know that you're only human...I mean... _Altean_...I don't know, I feel like everyone could relate to you more. Feel more connected with you?" Keith shrugged slightly, "And, I think Shiro would say it's a two-way street, being someone's support. We can be a backbone so you don't have to do all the heavy lifting yourself. That's what friends are for, right?"  
  
Allura smiled despite the tear tracks on her face. " _Keith_ , I don't know what to say." she said.  
  
Keith only shrugged again, hunching in on himself at the awkward feeling of receiving thanks. "It's nothing, I've just...lived a long time bottling everything I was feeling up inside. And that turned me into someone who was just...angry. Angry at everything and everyone because I was afraid of what people would see if I opened up." he paused to frown, "Whether they would turn tail and snub me at what they found." he ducked his head to murmur, "I'm _still_ afraid."  
  
Allura was tilting her head as if to try and decipher his words. Who he was aiming them at.  
  
And indeed, he wasn't just referring to his past. He was talking about her...about the other Paladins. He did wonder...maybe now would be a good time to talk to her about his heritage...  
  
"Thank you for telling me, Keith." Allura reached a hand out to rest it on his, and he stared at it in mild surprise, mostly discomfort. Physical affection with anyone beside Shiro was still rather awkward for him. Allura continued, "I feel like I've hardly connected with any of you, like despite the fact that we should be tight-knit we're...actually rather ragtag. And we don't understand and appreciate one another enough." she furrowed her brow and turned her head, "I should make more of an effort to be friends with you all. We need to be like a family, all of us. And...you're right, I shouldn't bottle up what I'm feeling."  
  
"You don't need to be a completely open book." Keith said, "That's not what I'm saying, just...don't be afraid to talk to someone." he smiled, "Like maybe Coran would like to know how you're feeling. You both knew Alfor, in any case. Maybe _he's_ hurting too."  
  
Allura blinked, "Oh, gosh you're right. I really should go speak with him."  
  
Keith hummed and allowed himself to stand, moving to fetch his bayard. He turned back around only to gasp as Allura gently pulled him into a hug.  
  
"Thank you, you truly helped me, Keith."  
  
Keith exhaled a nervous laugh, "It was nothing. I was just...yeah, _okay_." he didn't make a move but to stand there and let her squeeze him before she released him and wiped at her eyes.  
  
"And...I'm glad you actually took the time. I understand now that I haven't made much of an effort to just be everyone's _friend_. So, thank you for making that effort first. I know you're the most reserved of all of us, and it might have been hard for you." she continued.  
  
Keith smiled sheepishly, "It's fine, really."  
  
Allura returned his smile and then she glanced down at his bayard, "Before I go...would you like to spar? Team bonding, you know?"  
  
Keith blinked, he hadn't ever sparred with anyone besides Shiro and the training bot. "Uh...yeah. Okay."  
  
Allura's smile turned into a smirk, "I do wonder if you could keep up."  
  
Keith grit his teeth, challenge inciting a fire in his veins and making him giddy with the prospect of competition. "I'm _sure_ I'll manage." he said, letting his bayard transform.  
  
"I was thinking hand-to-hand." Allura said as she reached past him to grab some gloves. "I'm more than certain I have you beat in the field of weapons."  
  
Keith scoffed, "More reason for me to _practice_ , then." he said as he made his way to the center of the deck, twirling his sword around his hand once for flair.  
  
Allura hummed and Keith watched as she opened a panel in the wall and fetched what looked like a light training sword. "Then let's test your mettle." she said, and if Keith didn't know better he'd say her eyes were alight with glee.  


* * *

  
An hour later had Keith panting on the floor from where she'd gotten a leg sweep down on him. She was good. _Obscenely_ good. Like...he hadn't ever _seen_ someone move so quickly, nor had his arms ever ached from being jarred so viciously and precisely. She was a lot stronger than she looked.  
  
"You're very good, Keith. More than I thought a young Terran would be." Allura said, offering him her hand. She had him on the defensive since the very first round, and while he had gotten past her defenses once, she had beaten him the other six out of seven matches.  
  
"Not good enough to beat you, apparently." Keith took the offered hand and grunted as he got to his feet. His sword felt like a dead weight in his hand and he was sure he had bruises in places he didn't even know existed.  
  
"You pick up on my techniques so quickly, though." Allura said, twirling her blade, "I spent a _pheobe_ learning that move and yet you've almost replicated it from observation." she said. "I don't know whether you won that round genuinely or whether I was just too shocked to defend myself." she finished with a smirk.  
  
"Well, thanks." Keith chuckled breathlessly, "I could learn a lot from you."  
  
Allura gave a single, respectful nod of her head, "I'd be honored to teach you."  
  
"That would be nice." Keith smiled, "Now... _ugh_...if you'll excuse me I think I might need a round in the healing pod." he said as he winced and rubbed his back.  
  
Allura laughed heartily, "My apologies."  
  
Keith waved a hand, "Nah, it was good for me. Learning experience or whatever."  
  
Allura set her blade aside and stretched her arms above her head, "I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Sure thing, Princess." Keith said, a smile tugging at his lips. Making connections was more rewarding than he had thought, it would seem.  


* * *

  
"Heh... _Keith_. Keith this isn't... _mmh_."  
  
Keith blinked up at him from where he had pulled them into an alcove and dropped to his knees. It wasn't his fault Shiro got him riled so easily, especially so when he was laying waste to the training deck like he had been that afternoon. He was beautiful and alluring, coiled tight and powerful, _dangerous_. Maybe that shouldn't have turned Keith on so much. But watching him silently, without interrupting, had been a true test of Keith's patience. Not to mention that as of late they'd found less and less time alone together over the past couple months...more inclined to collapse into exhausted sleep together rather than into the salacious comfort of one another’s bodies.  
  
Keith couldn't exactly respond to Shiro, mouth so delightfully _full_ and all, so he just suckled sharply to convey that he didn't have any intentions of quitting now. Shiro cursed fervently and tugged where he had a handful of Keith's hair, which only made him moan and tongue at the slit of Shiro's cock.  
  
" _Jesus-fuck_...oh _fuck!_ " Shiro was whimpering, eyes screwed shut and his breathe coming in shallow, ragged pants. " _Keith_...Keith!"  
  
Keith grasped onto Shiro's ass, still clothed so his fingers could only scrabble at tight pants and pull Shiro further into his mouth. He gagged a little, tears pricking at his eyes, but Shiro's pitchy moans were like a drug, he didn't _dare_ stop dragging them from his lips. Shiro tossed his head back and whimpered unintelligible things.  
  
"Keith, Keith _I'm_ -"  
  
Keith pulled back to suckle just at the head of his cock and Shiro doubled over, clutching Keith's hair and his shoulder tight and gasping a punched-out sort of noise. And then Keith was trying to swallow his copious spend without cringing or coughing.  
  
He managed well enough, having to pull off and wipe at his lips while he gave an airy cough and grinned up at Shiro.  
  
"God-fucking- _damnit_ , Keith." Shiro panted, gingerly tucking himself away, " _Fuck_."  
  
Keith stood and leaned into him, rubbing up against his thigh and relieving some of the pressure in his own cock. "You're so beautiful when you come." he whispered hoarsely. And it was true, watching Shiro come undone was one of life's most incredible blessings and Keith couldn't be more glad that he was privileged to witness it.  
  
"Fuck, _listen_ to you." Shiro rubbed at his eyes, and groaned, almost pained.  
  
Keith exhaled a ragged, husky laugh. Yeah, his voice was rather wrecked from that, but it wasn’t his fault Shiro had such a big dick. "Everyone's gonna know what I've been doing." he murmured, playing along and shivering at the little bolt of arousal sizzling down his spine at the thought.  
  
Shiro scoffed and laughed breathlessly, "You're going to be the death of me, baby." he said as he grasped either side of Keith's face and pulled him in for a slow kiss, burning with passion and promising more. Keith mewled into his mouth and Shiro pulled back with a wet gasp. "Want me to take you to the bedroom?" he wondered, voice gone deep and husky in the way Keith knew by now meant he was in for a sore ass later.  
  
"M _hm_." Keith bit his lip, moaning softly at the way Shiro grasped onto his hip and slowly rolled him against his thigh, pulling a gasp and a smirk from Keith.  
  
"Come here, baby." Shiro hoisted him up and Keith wrapped his legs around Shiro's slim hips. His moan was involuntary, what with the friction and all.  
  
Shiro growled and Keith grinned against his lips when he pinned Keith to the wall after only a few short steps. He undulated against Shiro's abdomen and tossed his head back as Shiro kissed his way down his neck.  
  
" _Shiro_ , ah... _mmm_ Shiro-"  
  
"Oh come _on_ guys!"  
  
Shiro froze and Keith gave a frustrated whine, eyes blinking open and staring at the ceiling for a moment before he looked over Shiro's shoulder to glare at their interrupter.  
  
Shiro's forehead was pressed against Keith's shoulder, his breathing heavy and his thumbs rubbing circles into Keith's hips where he still wanted to squirm and rut against Shiro.  
  
"We were on our way to my room." Shiro murmured in his defense. Not exactly a strong one, as Keith had had a mind to come rubbing against him right then and there.  
  
Lance heaved a groan, " _Seriously_ , you two, it's like, the _fifth_ time I've walked in on you guys. And I shouldn't even call it _walking in on_ _you_ cause you're in the _freaking hallways!_ "  
  
"Shoo." Keith waved his hand dismissively over Shiro's shoulder and nuzzled into him, "We're _busy_."  
  
" _Gross_ , just-" Lance shuddered and walked past them, "Stay _out_ of the hallways! There's plenty of random rooms you can commandeer or something, just-ugh you guys must have some sort of exhibitionism kink or something." he muttered as he walked away.  
  
Shiro tittered an embarrassed laugh against Keith's jacket, "I should have walked us there." he murmured.  
  
Keith hummed and writhed against him, "It's fine, at least he didn't catch us a few minutes ago." he said with a smirk.  
  
"At least." Shiro chuckled, and then Keith gasped as he hoisted him up again and started walking. "Still in the mood?"  
  
Keith nodded, features twisted into a solemn frown even as rolled his erection against Shiro's belly, "My spite fuels me."  
  
" _Keith_." Shiro laughed, "One of these days you two will need to get along, you know."  
  
Keith grumbled, "Don't talk about Lance when I'm trying to get a good fuck."  
  
Shiro planted his hand on the door scanner and then Keith's lips were captured again as they tumbled inside and he was pressed up against yet another wall. Keith moaned and bucked against Shiro, heels digging into the divots of his back. Shiro invaded his mouth like he was actively trying to devour him and Keith was shucking his jacket from his shoulders in haste.  
  
Shiro grasped his hips and rolled him _hard_ against him, dragging a gasping whimper from Keith. Especially once he felt that Shiro was growing hard again.  
  
" _Already?_ " he asked with a disbelieving grin.  
  
"Your heat helped with my stamina." Shiro ducked his head with a blush, though there was something smug and proud hidden behind his mock bashfulness. And that was true, heaven knows how many times he must have had to go in just a few days. "It was fuck or be mauled, you know."  
  
"Sorry bout that." Keith murmured, absolutely insincere as he broke away to tug his shirt over his head and Shiro set him down while he unbuttoned his pants. Keith stumbled, knees weak and unprepared to carry his weight.  
  
Shiro placed a lingering kiss at his temple and Keith huffed as he shucked his pants down his legs, kicking them off along with his boots. Upon standing straight again Shiro turned Keith to face the wall and nudged his legs apart with a knee.  
  
"Let me know if this is too much." Shiro murmured.  
  
Keith barely had time to ponder before his jaw dropped as Shiro just pressed right inside him, no preamble or fingers. Just spearing him open in a slow, careful slide of his cock that Keith could feel all the way up in the back of his throat. He was shocked, to say the least, but he was also surely wet enough for it, and Shiro was going nice and slow.  
  
"Oh... _oh_ my god, _Shiro_ - _mm!_ " Keith's breath hitched and his blunt nails scratched at the wall, scrambling for purchase. _Fuck_ he was big. Keith knew that already, but every time they made love was just another reminder, each time exactly like the first. Keith could feel _exactly_ how _tight_ a fit it was, and it didn't hurt but it was overwhelming. He gasped for air, trembling and leaning against the wall for support. Shiro hilted with a groan and Keith let out a stuttered breath.

  
" _God_ , Keith." Shiro rasped, "You okay?"  
  
Keith whined, tossing his head back and finding that Shiro was pressed right up against him, back to belly, and his jaw was in range to lick and kiss and bite at. Shiro hummed and turned into Keith's ministrations, rubbing soothing circles low on his hip and then giving a gentle, barely-there thrust. It burned through Keith like a roiling flame, inciting his body to jerk and his lips to pour forth broken moans into Shiro's skin. He reached up with a shaking hand and grasped onto Shiro's neck, sucking in a sharp, needy breath and then rocking back into the next small thrust.  
  
"Sounds like a yes."  
  
Keith managed one huff of a laugh.  
  
Shiro stroked his hip and murmured soft, sweet nothings against Keith's cheek as he planted his feet. Keith let his forehead thump against the wall as he began a tantalizing pace.  
  
"Shir- _ah!_ " Keith gasped, knees wobbling and his chest heaving as Shiro quickened. It was all he could do to slap both hands firmly against the wall and keep himself up, trembling harder with every movement Shiro made, god he was _perfect!_ He licked a wet stripe up the length of Keith's neck, nipping and kissing at the soft spot just behind his ear. Keith whimpered and Shiro tightened his grip on Keith's hips with a groan.  
  
"Fuck, Keith." he rasped, "So beautiful."  
  
Keith whined and rolled his hips back, a litany of _Yes Yes Yes Yes_ tumbling forth from his lips. "Shiro!"  
  
Shiro grunted and then let out a low, wounded sort of sound, almost a whine. " _Fuck_ , think I'm close baby."  
  
Keith laughed breathlessly, "Already? _Mmn!_ "  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Totally understandable, Keith had just blown him after all.  
  
"Come...come inside me, come on, I _need_ it." Keith whimpered, and when Shiro quickened he stumbled, "Oh _fuck!_ Shiro wait!"  
  
Shiro's breath came in sharp and ragged, "What-"  
  
"Bed." Keith gasped, "I'm gonna fall over."  
  
Shiro exhaled in a relieved chuckle, hoisting Keith up with hands under his knees and unintentionally (or maybe it was intentional, Keith didn't know for sure) pushing his cock deeper and making that coil of tight heat in his belly threaten to unfurl. Keith could only give a garbled moan as he was pressed face-down into the mattress and _held_ down by a hand on his back as Shiro chased his pleasure. He arched his body up and clawed at the sheets, pleas and wanton noises muffled into them.  
  
" _Keith-_ " Shiro cut himself off with a whimpering groan, and Keith gasped, toes curling and a cry ripped from his throat as Shiro flooded him with delectable warmth. Shiro's hands planted themselves in the bed to keep from just collapsing atop him, and Keith rocked his hips into the mattress to chase his own release.  
  
Shiro stayed inside him the whole time, buried to the hilt even as he softened, and the fullness helped Keith achieve his orgasm with a broken off moan and a breathless gasp. Shiro pulled out when Keith stopped clenching around him, and Keith rolled onto his back while Shiro made himself comfortable laying beside him.  
  
Keith turned his head, blinking sluggishly at Shiro, watching his chest heave and realizing with a small amount of disappointment that Shiro had barely shed his clothes, save for his vest. He would have liked to run his hands over his bare chest, drag fingernails through fine hair, maybe tease him with thumbs at his nipples, or to lick and nip and suckle at his skin until he was _covered_ in love bites. Keith's own little secret.  
  
He settled for rolling over and resting his head atop of Shiro's heaving chest. He nuzzled his clothed pectoral and smiled at him before a tiny laugh bubbled free.  
  
Shiro grinned, breathless, and Keith hummed as he reach down to pull Keith closer with a handful of his ass. Keith moaned, kissing at Shiro's clothed skin and running his hand down the plane of his stomach in a gesture of admiration and appreciation. Shiro stroked at his hair and Keith leaned into it with a mewling sort of sound. They spent the next several minutes like that, Keith cuddled up to Shiro's side and purring at the way he threaded his fingers through his hair.  
  
Keith reached his own fingers up to trace along the lines of Shiro's jaw, up to the curve of his nose and (with hesitance and a glance in Shiro's eyes for permission) he traced the dark, ridged line of his scar. Shiro closed his eyes, lashes fluttering as Keith hummed. There was a small furrow of tension to his brow, and Keith didn't linger for fear Shiro didn't like him touching it. His fingers moved up to thread through Shiro's stark white bangs, watching the way they slipped through his digits like silk and shone with the low blue night-lights of the room.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Shiro murmured, eyes blinking open and shifting to and fro as he studied Keith's expression.  
  
Keith paused, and then he smiled and nuzzled against him again. "Nothing...just _you_." he said as he stroked his fingers through his hair once more, and then gently rocked his hips against Shiro's side.  
  
Shiro seemed momentarily taken aback by the action, but he groaned and helped him along with a hand cupping his ass, heaving a sigh. "You're _relentless_."  
  
Keith only smiled, the occasional soft whimper escaping him. "Blame my Galra half." he said, and Shiro scoffed, turning his head away to hide a smile (followed by an unseen frown). "Ah...believe me, sometimes it's not exactly fun, being so...quick to recover." Keith managed, biting his lip and burying his face in Shiro's chest, "S'more like a chore this way."  
  
Shiro hummed and rubbed at the handful of Keith's ass he was still clutching. Keith huffed and squirmed and then he rolled onto his back and reached down to pump himself to a steady rhythm. It was a little irritating, when they were just looking for a quickie and yet he got so easily riled after they had gone once. It could be downright annoying if he thought about it too much.  
  
"Want me to help?" Shiro wondered, and Keith's shuddered at the touch of fingers at his hip.  
  
"Nah, you already...came twice... _mm_ , go ahead _ah_ -and relax. I got it." Keith panted, bucking up into his own grip and moaning softly.  
  
Shiro rolled onto his side and placed his hand over Keith's, slowing his ministrations and making Keith whine incredulously.  
  
" _Shiro_ -nng!!" Keith gasped.  
  
" _What_ , baby?" Shiro wondered, a teasing little smile on his lips.  
  
"Fuck." Keith tossed his head back and pouted, hips rolling into the meager, barely-there pace that Shiro was keeping.  
  
"Maybe I _want_ to help." Shiro continued, and Keith gave a breathy chuckle, shrugging.  
  
"If you want to." he turned his head into the pillow and moaned, hand curling around Shiro's wrist and squeezing with his torturous pleasure. " _Mmf_."  
  
Shiro tightened his grip on the upstroke and Keith whined, tucking a knuckle between his teeth and screwing his eyes shut. Meanwhile Shiro's raked across the length of his body, a considering noise pushed past closed lips.  
  
"Roll on your belly for me."  
  
Keith opened his eyes and blinked over at him. Shiro just smiled softly at him, too warm and soft for the amorous activities they were currently engaged in. Keith obeyed and looked at Shiro over his shoulder from where he had his head pillowed on his arms. Shiro pressed a kiss to his forehead and Keith's breath hitched at the quiet, simple intimacy even as Shiro slid his finger down to rub where Keith was still stretched and leaking cum. It made Keith wriggle, then gasp and roll his hips as Shiro tucked three fingers into his hole and lazily thrust them.  
  
"Shi- _iro_..." he rasped, hips undulating into the mattress as Shiro crooked his fingers and stroked his inner opening incessantly.  
  
The bed dipped and Keith opened his eyes again, hardly having noticed they were closed. And then a warm, wet tongue was added to the mix and Keith's soft cry was ragged and broken. He buried his face in the pillow and writhed under Shiro, gasping and pressing back into his mouth and his fingers. Shiro easily made him crest with a drawn out whine, and then Keith went lax and gave little whimpers as Shiro kissed and nipped his way up his back.  
  
"Better?" he wondered when he made it to Keith's neck.  
  
" _Mmm_." Keith nodded into the pillow.  
  
"Good." Shiro pressed one more kiss to his hair and then he was hoisting himself up to stretch his arms over his head.  
  
Keith groaned and rolled onto his back, cringing at how much of a mess he had made on himself and the sheets combined. "I need a shower."  
  
Shiro smiled at him, "Yeah."  
  
"Join me?" Keith asked as he gingerly got to his feet, tugging the soiled blanket from the bed and letting it sit in a crumpled heap on the floor.  
  
"I know better than _that_." Shiro said, "You're going to instigate again if I do."  
  
Keith pouted, "I wouldn't do that..." he said as he crossed his arms, an effect he was sure was dampened by the fact that he was stark naked, hair rumpled and his skin spattered in come.  
  
Gross.  
  
Keith went to his drawer to fetch a new pair of pants before he strode into the bathroom.  
  
"I _would_ join you, baby." Shiro said as he peered in, Keith glanced over his shoulder as he turned the knobs. "But I promised Allura I'd go over the briefing for our next coalition negotiations with her after I was done in the training room."  
  
Keith nodded, "That's okay, Shiro."  
  
Shiro approached him and pulled him in for a kiss, of which Keith chuckled into and gently (reluctantly) pushed him away. "You're already late as it is." he said as he stepped into the shower.  
  
"I'll see you at dinner." Shiro said, and Keith peeked out to smile at him, shooing him with a wave of his hand.  


* * *

  
Keith pressed his hand to the pale blue glass and rested his forehead just beside it, waiting and waiting for Shiro. Their fight with Zarkon was an utter mess, leaving everyone battered and separated and Shiro suffering some magical wound that after they had reunited and Allura had cleansed had still him sent into the healing pod. Keith was terribly anxious, a knot wound tight in his chest even though he knew Shiro was okay. He'd be perfectly fine once he got out of the pod.  
  
Allura sat down across from him and Keith sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and listening to the occasional pained noise Shiro made.  
  
"Is he supposed to be doing that?" Keith wondered.  
  
Allura hummed in affirmation, and Keith was surprised at the urge to growl protectively when she pressed her fingers to the glass. In fact it took a very fine thread of restraint to hold him back. Instead he curled his fingers into his palm until it stung.  
  
"The witch did a number on him." Allura said, "I'm sorry I couldn't get to him sooner. But he'll be fine, despite the extent of his injuries."  
  
Keith nodded and glanced up at Shiro, watching as his brows furrowed and his fingers twitched. "He looks like he's dreaming." he said in a murmur.  
  
"Yes. I haven't ever been in one of the pods, but Coran has. He said you dream of the strangest things." Allura said, a small smile gracing her lips, and then a considering frown, "Keith?"  
  
Keith glanced over at her, "Yes?"  
  
Allura bit her lip, "Shiro said...while I was healing him, or after rather...he said you _piloted_ the Black Lion."  
  
Keith hummed, not at all in the mood for this, "Yeah I did, for a few minutes."  
  
"Keith... _no one_ has ever piloted two Lions before. Let alone the two most willful of them. I don’t think you’re grasping the significance of this."  
  
Keith turned his gaze down to the floor, fingers rubbing at the glass of the pod, "I just had to save him, that's all."  
  
Allura was quiet, and Keith didn't see it but she stared at him with a dazed sort of wonder, shaking her head.  
  
"How long ‘till he comes out?" Keith asked, desperate to change the subject. He'd grown weary of what should have been an amazing feat but only served to remind Shiro of his illness, it would seem. And then Shiro had _said-_  
  
Keith closed his eyes tight and bit back a whimper. He wasn't going to let anything happen to Shiro. He wasn't going to _lose_ him again. He _couldn't_.  
  
"A varga or so." Allura answered.  
  
Keith settled himself against Shiro's healing pod resolutely at that, waiting the entirety of his hour in there before he could come out. Once he had, stumbling and dizzy and holding Keith's hand while he recounted a resurfaced memory, Keith almost couldn't stay away from him.  
  
He clung to him, held his hand and listened absently while Shiro explained what could be exceedingly important information. But he could wait until later to unpack that, for now he just needed Shiro close. Needed to hear his heartbeat and know he was alive, _safe_.  
  
He walked him to their room after it had been decided that they would investigate his arm in the morning, when he'd had a chance to recover more fully from the pod. Keith sat him down, pulling the zipper of his health suit and tracing his fingertips over the new scar, fresh and pink, and judging from Shiro's sharp inhale: still a bit tender. The scar spanned his lower side in thick branches, not at all unlike lightning, reaching from the edges of his ribs down to his hips and just touching his navel. It was almost pretty if not for the circumstances.    
  
" _Shiro_." Keith said, just for the sake of saying his name, resting his forehead against his back and mouthing at his skin, hands running up and down his arms. " _Shiro_..."  
  
"I'm okay Keith." Shiro whispered.  
  
Keith hiccuped and got to his knees to wrap his arms around Shiro so tightly he grunted, hand coming up to thread through Keith's hair. Keith hadn't expected the tears, if he were totally honest with himself. But he couldn't get it out of his head.  
  
"I almost _lost_ you again _._ "  
  
Shiro made a noise and turned as much as Keith would let him, nose brushing his cheek as Shiro nuzzled him. "But you _didn't_. You saved me instead."  
  
Keith nodded, and then his breath hitched on a sob.  
  
"Keith, _baby_."  
  
Keith pulled away to clear his throat and strip down, avoiding Shiro's gaze even as he asked, "Lay down for me?"  
  
Shiro hesitated, but in the end kicked his suit the rest of the way off and lay in bed.  
  
Keith crawled onto the bed and all but collapsed atop of him, face buried in his neck and arms wrapped tight around him. "I _love_ you." he whispered.  
  
"I love you too, baby." Shiro said, stroking a hand through Keith's hair soothingly.  
  
Keith whined softly, "Don't _leave me_ again."  
  
Shiro's grip on him tightened and Keith pulled his face away to kiss pleadingly at Shiro's lips. Breathless and desperate yet intent on going nowhere, just _begging_. Murmuring _please, please,_ and gone pliant under Shiro's hands that kneaded and soothed at his back the man himself fell asleep.  
  
Shiro didn't make any promises that night. Keith knew he _couldn't_ even though he _wanted_ to, and that only made him more desperate. Because for the entirety of the time since Shiro had come crashing back into his life, Keith had been willfully unable to remind himself of Shiro's illness. The inevitability that one day he would be snatched away for good.  
  
It hurt too much to remember. But he supposed his blissful reality where Shiro loved him as much as he loved Shiro just _couldn't_ last forever, could it?  
  
Keith spent the night staring at the wall and hugging Shiro tight to his chest, silencing a hitching sob every here and again. He listened to the steady thump of his heart, his slow, rasping breath, the gust of air over his shoulder every time he exhaled. Let it attempt to reassure him.  
  
He loved Shiro so _fucking much._ _  
_  
"Please just _stay_ with me."  


* * *

  
Keith took up a seat beside Shiro while Pidge plugged his arm into her database and went searching through it for these mysterious coordinates Shiro had apparently acquired some time ago. Shiro didn't seem to mind Keith's insistence on remaining as close as he could comfortably be to him. He tangled his fingers with Keith's and squeezed, resting both their hands atop his thigh. Pidge was usually quick, but it took her a while this time. Understandable, they'd been studying Galran collectively as a group but the language was still a pain.  
  
"I'm not seeing any coordinates." she paused to push her glass up where they had slipped down her nose, "Are you sure this wasn't just a dream?"  
  
Shiro nodded, "I'm positive. _Someone_ helped me escape."  
  
"You said he was Galra?" Allura all but growled.  
  
Keith tensed alongside Shiro, and Keith turned his gaze to the ground as Shiro gave his response through grit teeth.  
  
" _Yes_."  
  
Shiro squeezed his hand again and Keith looked up at Allura's next words.  
  
"You know you _cannot_ trust them."  
  
Shiro bristled and Keith's heart fell through his ribs. He wondered if it was possible to physically deflate, because that's what hearing his friend say that made him feel. And he _had_ thought he could tell her of his lineage...  
  
"Well, your father must have trusted them once. Zarkon was the _original_ Black Paladin, _wasn't_ he?" Shiro retorted.  
  
Keith glanced at Coran for confirmation, and he nodded slightly at Keith. Looking rather sympathetic.  
  
"That...that was a long time ago." Allura shifted and closed her eyes with a sigh of defeat.  
  
Everyone exclaimed in surprise and incredulousness. Aside from Pidge, who was ignoring them in favor of rooting through Shiro's arm data.  
  
"Are you kidding me?" Lance exclaimed, "That _can't_ be true!"  
  
Shiro sat back, begrudged, "It's pretty obvious, since he stole Black right out from under me."  
  
"That could have been magic stuff. Right?" Hunk piped up.  
  
"I don't think so." Coran said, a hand gone to rest atop Allura's tense shoulder.  
  
" _And_ he was using _your_ bayard." Keith pitched in with a scowl, frustrated over the fact that Zarkon had made Shiro doubt his place as the Black Paladin.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us about this?" Shiro wondered, and Allura ducked her head.  
  
"This is _precisely_ why. I wanted you all to feel as if the lions were truly yours. I wanted _you_ especially, Shiro, to form a true bond with Black." she said. " _You_ are the Black Paladin now. Not Zarkon."  
  
Shiro deflated a little at that, "Yeah...well, Black might have a different opinion on the matter." he muttered.  
  
Keith turned a pleading gaze towards Allura, who opened her mouth to speak, concerned, when Pidge interrupted them.  
  
"Hey, I think I actually found something. Repeating numbers here." she said, typing at her keyboard, "Yep! Coordinates, they're in the Thaldycon system." Pidge sat back in her seat with a grin and crossed her arms in self-satisfaction.  
  
"Then that's where we need to go." Shiro declared, gesturing for Pidge to remove the cord from his arm.  
  
Allura's frown deepened.  
  
Keith stood with Shiro, clutching at his arm, "Shiro, are you sure?" he prodded gently, "This...this could be a trap."  
  
"He _freed_ me." Shiro said. "There's no reason to suspect that."  
  
Keith nodded, "I just...I want to be cautious." he said, glancing over to see Allura cross her arms.  
  
Shiro smiled assuringly at him, "It's worth the risk either way. We _need_ allies, and if we can gain allies who can infiltrate Zarkon's very _ranks_..." he implied.  
  
Keith acquiesced at that, "Of course."  
  
Allura sighed, "For the record, I do _not_ like this." she emphasized, as if anyone could think anything else of her opinion. And then she screwed her eyes shut before she sagged in defeat, looking rather pained as she spoke, "But...you do have a valid point, Shiro. We'll check the location at the very least, so long as we remain wary. Ready for the _slightest_ mishap. The Galra are _not_ to be trusted."  
  
Shiro nodded once, curt, before he turned away, brows pinched in a muted, barely-tamed fury as he looked at Keith, who just turned a resigned, sorrowful smile to the floor and made to leave with him. They'd gone a ways down the hall before Shiro spoke.  
  
"I'm sorry about that."  
  
Keith glanced up at him in surprise, "What?"  
  
"About her prejudices. That can't have been nice to hear." Shiro said, rubbing Keith's arm where he was rather plastered to his side.  
  
Keith only shrugged, "It's... it's fine. Really. She doesn't know about me, and she has _more_ than enough reason to hate the Galra." he murmured.  
  
" _Still_." Shiro suddenly pulled him into a hug and Keith stiffened in mild surprise before he relaxed into his hold, clutching him just as tightly and burying his face in his chest. "It's not fair for you to have to hear that."  
  
Keith closed his eyes and hummed, "You're sweet to worry." he said in a whisper, and Shiro pressed a kiss to his hair. They stayed like that for some time, swaying to a beat unknown to Keith, but one that he followed along with.  
  
"Shiro?"  
  
"Mm?"  
  
Keith pulled away just enough to look up at him, "Are you nervous? About...about the coordinates. What we might find?"  
  
Shiro hummed, "I'm...not nervous...more anxious, if not _excited_. I want to know what's going on, what the Galra did to me. I...I can hardly remember anything but this. I wonder if that makes this mission a little selfish..." he said with a pensive look about him.  
  
"It _doesn't_." Keith said, stern, reaching a hand up to cup Shiro's face, "It's like you said, we need allies. If this all pans out it could be the most valuable alliance we end up _making_."  
  
Shiro’s gaze shifted between his eyes for a moment, as if searching for his earnesty, and he seemed to find it, giving him a soft smile, "You always know what to say."  
  
Keith chuckled, "I could say the same for you."  
  
Shiro pulled him into a warm, tender kiss, and then sighed as he pulled away, "Come on, I figure they're waiting for us on the bridge."  


Allura was indeed waiting for them when they arrived, just her and Coran.

“Oh, Shiro, Keith.” she said in greeting, turning to them with an acknowledging nod. It was more than obvious that she was anything but happy about this decision.

“We’ve just sent the other paladins to fetch their armor.” Coran said, glancing sideways at Allura, “... _just in case_.”

Shiro and Keith exchanged glances.

“I would urge you do the same, no matter the outcome, I’d feel better if we arrive fully prepared.” Allura said, placing her hands on the teleduv controls.

“Okay.” Keith said, and Shiro frowned even as he complied, shooting a look over his shoulder. It seemed that no matter what Keith said he would continue to take offense on his behalf for the offhanded comments on Galra.

And _yes_ , it hurt to hear, but like he’d said, Allura didn’t _know_ , so he couldn’t fault her. He could only grow more resolved to keep it a secret for longer.

They went to fetch their armor, same as Pidge, Hunk, and Lance. During the trip there and back Allura had warped the ship, and upon arriving back on the bridge they were greeted with the magnificent sight of the Thaldycon system. Massive Clusters of opalescent, crystalline asteroids made of what Coran called xanthorium. And apparently highly explosive.

They observed for a time, and then Shiro grew restless with the lack of activity. “Can we get any closer?”

Coran hesitated, but he brought the ship in closer, and Shiro sighed, glancing from viewscreen to viewscreen, hands planted on his hips. “Are we sure this is right? This place is...pretty desolate.”

“These are the coordinates. _And_ this is the Thaldycon system.” Coran shrugged.

“I’m _certain_ , Shiro.” Pidge piped up, “I tried a few other combinations of the coordinates just in case, and unless we want to warp into a star this is the right place.”

Shiro’s frown deepened.

“If there’s nothing here we should move on.” Allura said, “Zarkon tends to find us when we linger.”

“We _need_ to wait.” Shiro said, turning to fix her with a pleading gaze, “ _Please_...I...need to see if there’s anyone out here.”

Allura lips parted in surprise, eyes gone alight with frustration, then pity, and then she gave a nod, turning back to the view of the xanthorium clusters. “Very well, we’ll stay for a varga. _No more_.”

Shiro all but sagged in relief, settling himself in his chair.

It was half a varga _(or hour if you rather)_ later that the alarms suddenly blared and everyone in their seats startled to attention.

“What’s going on?” Hunk was the first to say, having dozed off.

Coran tapped away at his console, “There’s an intruder in the castle!” he exclaimed in disbelief.

“ _What?_ Where did they come from?” Lance squawked.

“I _knew_ we shouldn’t have come here.” Allura grumbled, bringing up the surveillance in the hallways, “He’s on level five. _Go_.” she gestured to the paladins, “We’ll keep tabs on his location.”

Keith leapt to his feet, bayard in hand as he ran down the corridors, Shiro, Hunk, and Lance hot on his heels.

“I’m taking the roundabout way, gonna cut him off.” Pidge said through her mic.

“Hunk go with her!” Shiro instructed, and Hunk immediately complied.

Keith turned a breathless smirk Shiro’s way as he caught up to him. “Wasn’t expecting _this_.” he panted.

Shiro turned a half-hearted glare his way as they rounded a corner, “Not the time, baby.”

“Time for what? I’m just _talking_.” Keith chuckled.

“Stop flirting, guys.” Pidge deadpanned even through the mics.

“Yeah I’m right here!” Lance piped up from where he ran behind them.

Pidge gasped, and there was the sound of her armor clanking against what sounded like a wall, “ _Oh-shit!_ I found him!”

“Woah he’s _big_.” Hunk commented.

“ _Focus_ , Hunk.” Keith said, “We’re coming, keep him cornered.”

“About tha- _wahh!_ ”

“ _Pidge!_ ”

“What happened?!” Shiro picked up the pace and Keith checked his location before he took a sharp turn to the side hall to cut this guy off.

“He’s _freakishly_ strong!” Pidge shouted.

“Pidge has him snagged but she’s too small to keep him still.” Hunk explained, utterly breathless and still running from the sounds of it.

“Shut _up!_ I’m doing my best!”

“We’re coming Pidge.” Shiro’s voice, and Keith skid to a halt when he suddenly found himself face-face with the intruder and the Green Paladin dragged ceaselessly behind him.

Keith activated his bayard, though he threw his leg out for a kick rather than swinging at the guy. His offense was dodged effortlessly and Keith swore as he started running again to catch up with them. Pidge dug her heels into the ground and grunted as she pulled back to slow him down. Keith came in with his sword this time, and found himself blocked with a long, purple blade.

Keith’s eyes went wide and he stared at the glowing insignia in utter shock, of which was used to his disadvantage as his attacker swept his legs out from beneath him. Keith grunted as he hit the ground, and Pidge yelped as she was thrown through the air to crash into Hunk, who had just caught up. Keith blocked the next attack, but his head was definitely not in the fight, and he gasped as the intruder’s blade came down way too close to his neck.

“ _Keith!”_

Shiro managed to clip the guy on the shoulder with his prosthetic fist. _That_ sent him reeling back and left Keith to stare at the ceiling while he shook off his shock. Shiro leapt right over him and went to town on the intruder. They were both quick, precise, and all too soon it was proven that they were equally matched, with glowing hot palm and knife to one another's’ throats.

Keith got to his feet and witnessed the moment the intruder _backed down_ , surprisingly. He removed his mask, revealing a Galran face, murmuring _“Champion?”_

Shiro relaxed ever so slightly, hand still pointed at the Galran’s neck, _“Ulaz?”_

“You _came_.” Ulaz said, astonished.

Keith jumped at Allura’s arrival, lightning fast, she had Ulaz’s hands behind his back and his body pinned to the wall. “ _Who_ are you?” she demanded, “What are you doing on my ship?”  

Ulaz made no move to retaliate, only turning his head calmly and fixing her with a critical eye, one fuzzy ear twitching almost lazily.

“Wait!” Shiro powered down his arm and clasped onto Allura’s, “He’s the Galra that set me free, _he_ gave me the coordinates.”

Keith blinked and looked at Ulaz’s blade on the floor, breathless at the sight of the mark he knew so intimately blatantly staring him in the face. He reached to his belt unconsciously, fingers brushing over the wrapped hilt of his dagger. Pidge came to his side and knelt down to examine the blade, looking back up at him with both glee and surprise twinkling in her eyes.

“ _Lance_ .” Allura held out her hand and Lance hesitantly handed her some cuffs, of which she clicked into place with a scowl before she stepped back, “So much as _one_ step in the wrong direction and you’ll regret it.” she murmured dangerously to Ulaz, who dipped his head in a respectful nod.

Keith inhaled sharply when he glanced his way, bright yellow eyes taking him in with an obvious, lingering sweep. Keith straightened in place and lifted his head in faux confidence to avoid giving in to the urge to squirm. Shiro soon came to walk beside him as they escorted Ulaz to the lounge, funny place to _interrogate_ someone, but the cuffs were only a precaution, after all.

Allura directed him to sit, and Ulaz did so without complaint. Keith couldn't help but turn his gaze away when Ulaz wouldn't stop looking at him, and he glanced at Shiro to see him retaining his excitement. No doubt, actually finding Ulaz had helped his mental state immensely.

“I can't _believe_ it.” Shiro murmured.

Keith managed a small smile and entwined their fingers.

“As much as I am loathe to have a Galra on my ship,” Allura began, “I have substantial trust in the Black Paladin, therefore, we shall listen to what you have to say in explanation as to why you’ve intruded here.”

Ulaz stared at her as he hummed in what seemed to be amusement, though his expression gave nothing away.

“Something _funny?_ ” Allura wondered tersely.

“You claim to loathe the Galra and yet you house a Galran as one of your Paladins. Is it his Terran appearance that allows your double standard?” Ulaz said.

Keith froze, he felt his skin paling, blood gone ice cold. Shiro and Pidge both glanced at him in alarm.

Allura was flabbergasted, “What in all _quiznack_ are you talking about? There are no Galra on my ship aside from you.”

Ulaz looked surprised then, and he glanced at Keith searchingly, ears flattening once he realized his blunder. “ _You didn't know_.” he murmured to himself.

Allura followed his gaze and Keith met her astonished expression with eyes wide, a deer in the headlights.

“ _What?_ ” Lance breathed.

Keith inhaled sharply, and then he realized he was already panting, shaking.

Allura stared at him for a moment before clarity bled into her features. “ _Keith?_ ” her voice broke halfway through his name, and then her brows furrowed, “You...you’re _Galra?_ ”

Shiro stepped forward, trying to explain, “Allura, listen, he didn't know until-”

“And you _did?_ ” she snapped, “We've been harboring a _Galra_ under our noses the _entire_ time? Is _this_ how Zarkon was able to track us? Has he been feeding him information?” her voice grew in volume throughout her speech, and Shiro went stock still, fists clenching tightly enough that the gloves of his suit creaked.

Keith shrank in place, breath quick and his heart alight with panic. He was right to fear this coming to light. He was _right._

“ _Allura_.” he said low, dangerous, warning. “You can’t accuse him of that.”

“You've been keeping this from me.” Allura said. “All this time. And I _trusted_ you!”

“Allura, Keith didn't even _know_ until-”

Allura rounded on Pidge, “ _You_ knew as well?!” she was breathless, glancing at Hunk and Lance, “Did _you_ know?”

Hunk shook his head, hands up in a placating gesture.

Lance did the same, side-eyeing Keith in astonishment.

“You _said_ the Galra didn't inhabit Earth, and yet _here_ is a Terran hybrid?” Allura turned to Shiro again.

“My apologies.” Ulaz interjected, gaze trained on Keith, utterly sincere, “If I had known you hadn't told them I wouldn't have mentioned it.”

Allura scoffed, “ _No_ , actually, I'm quite _glad_ you told us, it doesn't seem like _they_ had any intentions of doing so.”

“ _I didn't know._ ” Keith managed weakly.

“We _did_ plan on telling you.” Shiro said, voice _quivering_ like he was on the absolute precipice of losing his temper, Keith had never seen him like this before.

“ _How long_ have you known?” Allura asked, arms crossed.

Shiro sighed, “A few pheobes.”

“And you expect me to trust you? After you kept this from almost the _entire_ team? _How_ do I know you didn’t know beforehand? Why wouldn’t you _say_ anything-”

“ _Goddamnit, Allura!_ Because _this_ is exactly how we thought you’d react!” Shiro shouted, bristling with anger, and everyone jumped, Allura included. “Shut up and _listen_ to what I’m telling you!”

Keith stared at him, eyes glassy with wonder and emotion.

“It was a matter of what was best for _Keith_ .” Shiro continued, loud, but no longer yelling, Allura looked rather terrified, if Keith was honest with himself. “We talked about it _all the time,_ when the right time would be, and it never came up because every time Keith _finally_ groused enough courage to confront you with the truth you’d bring up some offhand comment on how much you ‘ _hate the Galra’_ and he was back to square one.”

“I have a _right-_ ” Allura tried.

“Yes you have _every_ right in the _fucking universe_ to hate them but you have _no_ cause to hate _Keith!_ ” Shiro snapped, and she frowned at him, silent. “Moments ago you were willing to give Ulaz the benefit of the doubt on my word. Why can’t you take my word for it _now_ and _believe_ me when I say that Keith, the boy you’ve known for _half a_ _year_ now, is _nothing_ like Zarkon, or Sendak, or any of the monsters who destroyed your home?” Shiro challenged, placing his hand on Keith’s shaking shoulder, “Would not one but _two_ of Lions have accepted him if he were the enemy?”

Allura turned her burning gaze upon Keith, though she soon blinked at him, the ire in her features softening when she saw that Keith was staring back through tears.

He hadn’t meant to cry. He didn’t _want_ to cry in front of everyone, but this was so sudden and terrifying and _everyone_ was yelling and he could barely speak to save his life, to assure her he had nothing up his sleeve. He was _so_ caught off guard.

“I didn’t _know_ .” Keith whispered again, breath hitching, and Shiro’s seething anger was gone in an instant, turned toward him with a soft expression and voice of concern as he murmured his name and pulled him in for a hug. Keith stared at the fabric of Shiro’s shirt and quieted a hiccup. “ _I’m sorry_.”

“ _Shh_ .” Shiro said, resting his chin atop Keith’s head, “You have _nothing_ to be sorry for.”

Keith listened to the awkward silence that followed, the shuffling of feet and the soothing cadence of Shiro’s heartbeat under his ear.

“Allura.” Pidge spoke up, followed by a couple footsteps, “Keith really didn’t know until just a _few_ pheobes ago. I only learned…uh...by _accident_ .” she coughed awkwardly, “Um...he was _scared_.”

“We _both_ were.” Shiro said sternly.

Allura remained quiet.

Keith cleared his throat, breathing low and steady through his nose as he turned and wiped at his eyes, facing Allura and lifting his head, feeling small under her stony gaze. “I _wanted_ to tell you. I did.” he said, insistent and earnest, “I just...people always leave once I open up...they turn tail and…” he dropped his gaze to the floor, sighing, “I was afraid. I _am_ afraid.”

He saw the memory of their talk flit across her face.

“I’m sorry.” he turned on his heel to leave, wiping at his eyes and flushed with embarrassment over the ordeal.

“ _Keith!_ ” Shiro called, but Keith was gone before he could even react.

 

* * *

“Shiro.”

Shiro paused in his pursuit of Keith, head tilted just so in her direction.

Allura looked chastised, “I...may have gone too far. I reacted poorly. I’m sorry.”

Shiro scoffed as he looked over his shoulder, “ _I’m_ not the one you should be apologizing to.” he said quietly.

Allura went stone-faced again, crossing her arms and turning toward Ulaz.

Shiro sighed, “Coran, can you tell us, privately, where Keith’s gone?”

There was a beat of silence, “He appears to be on the observation deck, Number One.”

“Thank you.” Shiro said, turning to leave, “I need to go.”

“Wait, Champion.” Ulaz said.

Shiro glanced at him, features softening, “It’s Shiro, please.”

Ulaz nodded, “ _Shiro_.” he began, “I have a base just ahead. If you’ll allow me, I can contact my order and we can establish some negotiations for an alliance. I can also download a backup of my data for you to overview.”

Shiro hummed, “Well, I’d _love_ to allow that, but it’s not _my ship_.” he glanced at Allura, tone clipped and snarky, and watched her flinch, heaving a sigh before she turned her attention to Ulaz.

“What do you mean, your order?” Allura prodded.

“The Blade of Marmora.” Ulaz said, “We’ve been working in the shadows for ten-thousand decapheobes.”

“Doing what?” Pidge wondered.

Ulaz turned an amused gaze upon her, “Undermining the Empire, of course.”

“ _Why?_ ” Allura asked, slightly snappish, though she glanced at Shiro sheepishly even as she tried to maintain her persona of confidence.

Ulaz seemed tired when he looked up at her, “Princess, you _are_ allowed your resentment, but even you must understand that _never_ does one race in their entirety occupy the exact same mindset.” he explained, “While the majority may go along with the Emperor out of fear or loyalty or even both, there are those of us who fight against him. Who see that this is not the path our people should take. It is a dark road and while we have always been a fighting people, our race was never destined for this mindless devastation.”

Allura was pensive, biting her lip as she crossed her arms and sat down across from Ulaz, prompting that he continue.

“The Blade of Marmora has been fighting to keep the Lions away from Zarkon’s hands for the past two-hundred decapheobes. We failed with the Red Lion, but the Blue Lion had been found on Earth. Once we realized the Champion... _Shiro_ , was from Earth, we took a gamble. We set him free in hopes that this would happen.”

“That _what_ would happen?” Allura asked.

Ulaz smiled, ever so slightly, “That Voltron would return.”

Shiro sighed in relief at the way Allura’s face went soft with wonder.

“You say we can contact them on your base, yes?” Allura prodded.

Ulaz gave a nod.

“What base? There’s nothing here.” Pidge said with a gesture of her hand.

Ulaz smiled once more, “It’s hidden in a pocket of folded space, undetectable but there. One only needs to approach it.”

Pidge looked like she was drooling at the prospect, and Hunk looked rather mystified as well.

Allura hummed, “Come, let us go to the bridge and investigate.”

“Are the cuffs still necessary?” wondered Ulaz even as he stood and made to follow.

Allura paused to consider him, glancing sideways at Shiro, who crossed his arms in expectation, but didn’t say a thing.

Allura sighed and approached Ulaz, undoing the cuffs and taking a step or two back, hesitant. “Just...don’t make me regret that.” she murmured.

Ulaz dipped his head, gracious, “Of course not.” he said, and Shiro relaxed, taking his leave.

 

* * *

Keith tightened his posture when the door slid open, curled into as much of a ball as he could manage with his armor on, the expanse of stars and xanthorium clusters ahead keeping his gaze.

“Keith?”

He didn’t reply, turning his head down and letting his bangs fall over his eyes.

“Keith... _baby_.” Shiro sat beside him, hand resting tentatively on his shoulder, and for all the faux display of wanting solitude Keith turned eagerly into his touch, arms thrown around his neck and his face buried there to inhale deeply of his soothing scent. Always rain and wet earth.

“I’m okay.” Keith murmured against Shiro’s pulse, kissing softly, hoarse with emotions not yet buried, “I just...needed to be alone.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Keith.” Shiro kissed at his temple. “We always expected Allura was going to have an explosive reaction.”

“I know.”

“She went too far, though.” Shiro all but growled, “She apologized to me, but until she apologizes to you I can’t forgive her just yet.”

“I...she doesn’t _have_ to.”

“Yes, she _does_ . I know she’s upset, but she crossed the line more than once. You’re _such_ a good person, Keith. She knows it, but she needs to remember it.” Shiro said, pulling back to stroke Keith’s bangs from his face, “Hey…”

Keith blinked up at him, “Yeah?”

Shiro leaned forward, tentative, and then he kissed him slow, gentle and sweet, pulling a soft noise of contentment from him before he sighed and pressed his forehead to Keith’s. “Remember that I love you, baby. No matter what.”

Keith nodded, smile wobbly but still alight with joy that Shiro wouldn’t ever give up on him. That he loved him like this.

“I-”

“Shiro, Keith, I don’t mean to interrupt but we could use a hand up here!”

They blinked at one another in alarm before they scrambled to their feet at the sound of Coran’s voice.

“Get to your Lions!” Allura’s voice, “We need extraction, quickly!”

“What’s going on?” Shiro asked as they ran to the Lion’s hangars.

“Robeast.” Pidge said through her mic.

Keith and Shiro parted ways to head to their respective Lions. Once seated in Red and Black, Keith and Shiro both exited the castle and took up defensive positions inside the pocket of space.

“Where are you guys?” Shiro asked, glancing around for signs of the robeast.

“Lance is coming to pick us up.” Pidge said, “We’ll be in our lions in a minute.”

“We’re on the base, Ulaz is finishing his download and we’ll destroy it before we leave the system.” Allura said.

“ _Destroy it?_ ” Keith wondered.

“This base...the information and technology here, it _cannot_ fall into Zarkon’s hands. I would have left it here to be utilized again, but now Zarkon knows it's here.” Ulaz said in proximity to Allura’s mic. “After I've secured the data it is in our best interest to destroy all trace of this place. Voltron would do that best, I think.”

Allura hummed in agreement. “Shiro.”

Shiro was quiet for a moment, “ _Yes_ , Princess?”

Keith winced at the curt tone of his reply.

Allura sensed it as well, sighing, “I'm sorry for doubting you on this.” she murmured, low and tentative, an olive branch between them.

Keith looked at his communication screen, saw Shiro close his eyes and inhale slowly, “You had a right to your suspicions.” he said quietly.

Keith blinked at the flash of light in his periphery and yelped as he was suddenly forced to dodge a laser beam.

“ _Keith!_ ”

“Was that the robeast?”

Keith growled and turned his lion toward the expanse of folded space between them and the robeast. “I'm okay, Shiro. We should engage, it knows we're here.”

“Right. Who’s free? Keith and I are going on offense.” Shiro said.

“I’m here.” Lance said, pulling up in Blue.

“I’m in my Lion.” Hunk piped up.

“I’ll be there in a minute, Hunk has longer legs.” Pidge said, panting.

“Thanks Pidge!”

“That’s not a compliment! It’s _annoying!_ ”

 

* * *

The fight was long and arduous, even after forming Voltron, the robeast was near indestructible. But thanks to Ulaz, who proposed using his space fold technology inside the robeast, they defeated it. They _did_ convince him to eject after setting the shuttle he was using on a timer. And Keith rescued him with his lion. Afterward, with a little time to spare before they made their exit from the Thaldycon system, they downloaded the database of Ulaz’s base and thoroughly destroyed it, taking him on as a passenger.

Ulaz was currently discussing their course of action with Allura and Coran.

Keith sat a ways down the table, gaze upon the table and Shiro at his side, thumb rubbing a circle into his thigh in a quiet form of comfort.

“-unfortunately we need to find out how Zarkon keeps conveniently locating us.” Allura was saying, “It’s obvious that we _cannot_ meet with the Blades with him constantly finding our ship.”

“It’s like he has a homing beacon on us, or something.” Pidge said, “But I scanned the ship numerous times, _every_ configuration I can think of, and there’s no trace of any technological means of tracking.”

Ulaz hummed, “I shall assist you with that, knowing the Galra, I may be able to search for configurations you might not know of.”

Pidge nodded, “Okay, sure.”

Shiro was pensive, a dark cloud over his head. “Allura…” he said.

“Yes, Shiro?”

Shiro grabbed Keith’s hand as he raised his head to look at her, “I think it’s the Black Lion.”

Allura looked stricken, but Pidge perked in agreement.

“That’s the highest probability, given it _was_ his, after all, and he seems to be able to snatch it from you when he's close.” she said, taking her glasses off to rub the hem of her shirt over the lenses.

“But _no one_ can contact their Lion from so far away.” Allura argued, voice faltering even as she spoke.

“I don’t know about that, he has a witch with him.” Coran said, “But in any case, that theory hasn’t been tested, so we can’t say for certain it’s impossible.”

Keith sat up, “I could. Test it I mean.” he said. “Red is the fastest Lion, if I can go a suitable distance with a shuttle and...call her…” he paused and gulped, gaze imploring as he waited for Allura to consider.

She stared back at him for some time, her dilemma working across her features as she furrowed her brows and glanced at Shiro. Keith ducked his head and slumped back in his seat, arms crossed, “Or not.” he murmured.

“I think that would be best.” Allura said, and when Shiro tensed she held up her hand to placate what was likely an impending retort, “If Zarkon finds us while you’re gone and we can’t form Voltron _and_ can't wormhole away without you it could leave the entire team, including yourself, in severe jeopardy. I’m sorry Keith, it would not be wise of me to allow you to do that.”

Keith glanced up at her in surprise at the logic, having expected it was prejudice or mistrust, and he smiled ruefully, giving a singular nod. “I guess I can’t argue with that.” he said, quiet and sheepish.

Allura nodded, glancing down before she looked back up with an unreadable expression on her face that had Keith looking away sadly. Funny how their easy camaraderie could just vanish into thin air like that.

Ulaz cleared his throat, “If that is the case, then perhaps we should keep to uninhabited spaces. I understand you're forming a coalition at the moment, but we would wish to endanger as few people as possible, in the event that Zarkon’s forces show up.”

Allura frowned, “I would have liked to continue with the coalition, but you’re right.” she sighed, “We need to find a way to cut him off from us.”

Shiro stood, “I...if the Black Lion is the source then I need to bond with her. Maybe find a way to...I don’t know, see if I can block Zarkon off.” he said, “I don’t know if that would work, but it can’t hurt to _try_.”

Allura nodded, “That’s a good idea, Shiro.”

Everyone took a moment of silence,

“We should rest while we can, we’ve taken two jumps away from the Thaldycon system, I figure we should be safe for the time being.” Allura said. “We’ll jump again tomorrow.”

“Hey, what if he's using the teleduv to track us?” Hunk wondered, “Like each time we make a jump?”

“That's not possible, the technology just doesn't leave traces.” Coran said.

“But as you have reminded us, Coran: Zarkon has a witch. It's likely he's not using practical methods.” Allura reminded.

Another moment of silence before the princess sighed and rubbed her fingers over her brow, “We’ll figure it out tomorrow. Sleep well, Paladins.”

“Ulaz, good sir, I've prepared a room for you.” Coran said, leading the Blade out to the hallway.

Keith stood to follow Shiro.

“ _Keith_.”

Keith froze, hairs rising on the back of his neck, glancing at Allura in his periphery.

“Could I have a moment with you... _alone?_ ” she looked to Shiro, stoic and hiding well whatever emotions he was likely searching for.

Keith looked at Shiro, saw him flex his closed fists, tense, and then he sighed, turning to Keith. “I'll wait for you in the hall.”

Keith gulped and nodded, turning hesitantly to go sit close to Allura, fingers threaded together in his lap, gaze cast down. There was a prolonged quiet as Allura pulled a chair out and settled closer to Keith than was initially comfortable. Keith focused on keeping his breath steady, expression neutral despite his mild panic.

“Keith…” Allura began, “Earlier today, I... _I_ …” she sighed in frustration, “Keith, I understand from Shiro and Pidge that it was a difficult thing for you, learning who you were so late in life, and coming to terms with it. I can't imagine what that's like, much less when your other half is generally the enemy. It must have been terrifying for you, and for that, I'm sorry.”

Keith looked up at her, surprised.

“Coran pulled me aside once he had discovered I knew. He explained just how shocked you were when you found out.” Keith stiffened, blushing, and Allura managed to fight back her smirk, “Don't worry, he left out any... _explicit details_ .” she assured, and then continued. “It hurt. Knowing _he_ knew.” Allura frowned, “That's the thing, though, Coran was the best friend he could be to you by keeping this from me, that's who he is. He's loyal to a fault and he kept your secret wholeheartedly, that's what you _deserved_ .” she hummed almost in amusement, “I’m difficult sometimes, I know. And I hold my grudges very close to my heart. It also hurt to hear that someone I consider to be my friend had been keeping a secret from me, much less that he was of Galran blood. And yet despite my confusion and hurt I was...I was terribly rash, I said things I shouldn't have. I leveled baseless accusations at you, I didn't let you _explain_ .” she reached out to take Keith's hand, giving him a pained glance, “I should have taken time to understand that I'm not _entitled_ to your secrets, I'm only there to be someone you can trust to tell them to. And when I learned, I didn't _behave_ like someone you could trust. So for everything, _I'm sorry_.”

Keith's lip wobbled as he sucked in a shaky breath, nodding. “ _Allura-_ ” he managed, “ _I_ …” he laughed in a sob, blinking the tears from his eyes, “ _Um_ ...no one's ever taken the _time_...never apologized for overlooking my side of the story.”

Allura’s brows softened in sympathy. “I'm truly sorry, Keith. I hate that I managed to fall into the stereotype that judged you prematurely.”

Keith shook his head, “It was just whiplash, you were shocked and you apologized. You took the time to understand. And you're the first to. So _thank you_.” he smiled up at her and she sweetly wiped at his wet cheek with the back of her hand. He chuckled softly at that. “And I forgive you.” he added.

Allura ducked her head, shoulders sagging in relief, “I want to promise you I'll be better in the future.” she said, “I greatly distrust the Galra as a whole, but Ulaz proved himself, and you both are shining examples that not _all_ Galra are the same. I figure I need to be more selective in my resentments.”

Keith nodded, clearing his throat and sniffing at the remnants of his emotions. “I should go now. Shiro's probably worried.” he said as Allura sat back and sighed.

“Of course.” she frowned, “I already apologized to him, but...would you tell him once more that I intend to apologize again? When I see him tomorrow.”

Keith smiled, “Yeah.”

Allura’s expression went fond, “He's _fiercely_ devoted to you, I've never seen someone love so intensely. You're a very lucky man, Keith.”

Keith flushed even as he stood and turned on his heel, “Thank you.” he murmured, embarrassed.

“Good night, Keith. Sleep well.”

Keith smiled over his shoulder, “You too.”

He exited the conference room and leaned up against the door, smiling and heaving an immense sigh of relief. He almost wanted to crumple to the floor, he was so immensely at ease.

“What did she say?” Shiro was suddenly at his side, voice low in concern.

Keith jumped in surprise, laughing and running a hand through his hair, aware that having come out red-eyed and tear-tracked probably wasn’t the best impression, “She...uh, she _apologized_. And she was very sincere about it.” he smiled at Shiro, who blinked in surprise.

“She _did?_ ” he breathed.

Keith turned his gaze down and nodded, “Yeah.”

“That's good.” Shiro gathered Keith up in his arms for a warm hug, exhaling long and low, “I was so worried...for the both of you.”

“I know you were.” Keith murmured, nuzzling into Shiro's hold, rubbing his chin against Shiro's neck and eliciting a soft chuckle.

“C’mere. Let’s go to bed.” Shiro said, gently pulling away to lead him down the hall.

Keith followed along easily, and he only hummed in mild amusement when Shiro grabbed from behind and tugged him to his chest upon closing the door to their bedroom. Shiro mouthed at his neck, up to the line of his jaw, making Keith shudder and whine when he licked over the gland on his neck.

“This doesn't feel like _going to bed_.” Keith said, though he was tilting his head to give Shiro unadulterated access, hands resting atop Shiro's where they clutched possessively at his hips.

“Well...I never said we were going to _sleep_ , specifically.” Shiro murmured, “There's two meanings to the phrase, baby.”

Keith laughed, giving way to a moan as Shiro dug his teeth into the juncture of his shoulder, pulling his jacket down his arms. “ _Ah_...mmn, can you...do that thing you did a while back?” he asked.

“What thing?” Shiro licked over the bruise he'd left on Keith's neck, rutting his hips into the curve of Keith's ass. His thumbs looped in the hem of his pants and pulled them down until Keith wriggled and helped him get them off.

“Where you don't prep me.” Keith tugged his shirt over his head, turning around to meet Shiro's lips in a wanton, needy groan.

“You liked it _that_ much?” Shiro pulled away, biting his own lip and flushing a little.

Keith chuckled and grabbed Shiro's hand, guiding him to feel between the cleft of his ass, “You tell me.” he said in a gasp as Shiro swirled a finger around him, slick already.

“Have I ever mentioned that - while admittedly strange - this is also the hottest thing _ever?”_ Shiro gently pressed his finger against Keith’s hole until it just barely parted for him before he pulled his hand away. “Convenient too.”

Keith scoffed and shrugged, “You're weird.” he said as he turned around and strode to bend over the bed, wiggling his hips to and fro invitingly.

“And _you're_ gorgeous.” Shiro practically groaned, palms covering the expanse of his back and sliding down to cup and knead at his ass. “ _Fuck_.”

“Don't need to flatter me, I'm _already_ in your bed.” Keith teased cheekily.

Shiro scoffed and leaned down to press a trail of kisses up his spine. “Get _on_ the bed for me?”

Keith didn't hesitate, though he did glance over his shoulder in confusion when Shiro pushed his hips down when he presented himself eagerly.

“No, baby. Like _this_.” Shiro rolled him onto his back and pulled his hips into his lap, lining himself up. Keith's breath hitched as he glanced up to meet his gaze, silver luster gone stormy and dark. “I want to see your face.” Shiro murmured, leaning forward and Keith's jaw dropped on a strangled moan, hands twisting in the sheets as he breached him in a smooth, easy glide that made him almost choke.

“Ah...Shiro- _agh!_ ” he arched against the mattress, eyes screwed shut and every ounce of his focus on the stretch of Shiro's cock inside him. “ _Fuck_.”

Shiro planted both hands on either side of Keith's head, leaning down to kiss open-mouthed at his chin and his jaw. “You deserve this, baby.” he whispered, pulling out only to grind back inside him, again and again in a relentless rhythm, “Let me take care of you.”

Keith whimpered, hands gone to clutch at Shiro's hair, “You always do.” he breathed, “ _Ahh!_ ”

Shiro swallowed his gasp with a bruising kiss to match the bruising pace of his hips. Keith whined and writhed beneath him, biting at his lips when Shiro pulled back to rest their foreheads together. Keith turned his head to nuzzle into Shiro’s shoulder when he moved to press kisses into his neck, teeth teasing at the gland on his neck and making Keith whimper when he oh-so-lightly bit at him there.

“ _Fuck_ , Shiro do...do that again.” Keith panted, and Shiro slowed to a grind, pulling a quiet wail from Keith, working so deep inside him like that and gently closing his teeth over that gland. Keith jolted and came in a _violent_ crescendo, nails raking down Shiro’s back hard enough that he heard him hiss.

“Fuck... _fuck_ ...sorry... _ah_.” Keith whimpered and sobbed, wriggling in oversensitivity and gasping for air.

“You’re fine, baby.” Shiro chuckled softly, a thumb rubbing over that gland and pulling a moan from Keith. Shiro blinked, “So there _is_ something here.” he murmured.

Keith nodded, “ _Ahh_...it’s sensitive.”

Shiro ground his hips into Keith, making him bite his lip, “Was that what made you come?”

“ _Yes_ .” Keith groaned, writhing and grasping at the sheets as Shiro returned to licking and nipping at the gland, all the while having never paused in his sharp thrusts. “ _Shiro…_ ” Keith whined.

Shiro’s hips slammed into his a couple times more and then he dug his teeth into Keith’s shoulder as he moaned and filled Keith with warm cum. Keith blinked at the ceiling, gaze hazy and his lips parted for his sharp panting.

“ _Wow_.” Shiro rasped, licking over the bruises his teeth left behind. Keith glanced down at him lazily, and Shiro chuckled, “Your eyes are doing that thing again.”

“S’cause it was _good_.” Keith all but slurred, lashes fluttering as Shiro peppered kisses all over his face.

“I love you, Keith.” Shiro whispered, gently pulling out to fall to the side, chest heaving with his breath as he pulled Keith in and nuzzled against his temple.

“ _Mmf_.” Keith managed, utterly exhausted, and Shiro chuckled.

* * *

  
Keith wasn’t shy about PDA but he was glad for the high collar of his jacket, Shiro had been _relentless_ the night before and he was absolutely peppered in bruises. He cherished them, of course. Shiro had come out of the shower to see Keith dragging his fingertips over them in a quiet reverence. And he made quick work of Keith’s back too, lips wandering around to his cock and dragging a morning orgasm out of Keith before they finally went to get the day started.

Keith ducked his head at the force of his smile at the vivid memory, on his way to the training deck while Shiro worked at bonding with Black after breakfast.

He hadn’t expected to bump into Ulaz, who regarded him with a calculating gaze that Keith both found intriguing and uncomfortable.

“We haven’t been properly introduced.” Ulaz said, “I also regret causing you turmoil. I apologize, Paladin Keith.” he dipped his head solemnly.

Keith crossed his arms, toeing his boot at the ground, “It’s just _Keith_ . And...the more I think about it...you _kind of_ did me a favor in letting the cat out of the bag, so...it’s no big deal.”

Ulaz cocked his head to the side in confusion over the idiom, thought he didn’t question it.

His yellow eyes gave Keith that slow once-over again, nose twitching, and Keith shuffled from side to side, quite unable to meet his gaze. He couldn’t help but take a deep breath too, prompted by seeing him do it, and he was almost knocked off his feet by the scent.

It wasn’t like Shiro, it was far less subtle, for one, hence the dizziness. It was similar in the sense that it was a fresh scent, one that he wouldn’t mind smelling all the time, not quite definable but similar to coconut, almost like peppermint too.

“ _What…_ ” Keith murmured, shaking his head, “Sorry, is...that _you?_ ”

Ulaz tilted his head again.

“The smell?”

At that Ulaz actually seemed flustered. “ _Oh_. My apologies...I hadn’t meant to...you’re a fine omega.”

Keith stiffened.

 _Oh_.

“So...you’re an alpha, then?” Keith prodded, curious.

Ulaz gave a nod, “I don’t mean to project my scent, but yours _is_ rather strong. It’s difficult to resist.”

“Project?” Keith wondered.

“You...don’t know?” Ulaz looked rather horrified.

Keith shrugged.

Ulaz shifted in place, “We Galra, our scent varies from individual to individual. Depending on whether you’re an alpha, the most common of us, or an omega, the most... _precious_.” he paused to clear his throat, “In any case, we can control how much of our scent is present, it’s a matter of dominance, claiming territory and mates, and...you rather flood the room with yours.” he chuckled softly in a blush, “The ship feels like it’s your territory.”

Keith shrank in place, embarrassed, “Uh...I didn’t know that. Is that bad? Can _everyone_ smell it?”

Ulaz chuckled, “It’s how I knew you were a Galra, for one. And no, it’s not easily detectable by other species, far more subtle to anyone else.”

Keith hummed, “How do I control it?”

Ulaz seemed drawn a blank at that, “It’s...difficult to explain. It’s mostly instinct. But, you feel a drop in temperature when you are toning your scent down, right here.” he tapped on his neck, the same place Keith knew his scent glands were.

Keith tilted his head and concentrated, brows furrowed. It took a moment, and Ulaz waited almost expectantly.

Soon enough, it was exactly as he had said, a slight chill in those circular spots on either side of his neck, and if he just focused, it stayed that way.

“Is it working?”

Ulaz took a deep breath, “Somewhat.”

“It’s kind of hard.” Keith murmured.

Ulaz hummed, “I imagine it would be, for someone who hadn’t done it their entire life. As a kit, one is usually taught to control them. Since you are no longer a kit, it will take time for you to master that, but soon it will be second nature.” he explained, leaning against the wall, “You can use your scent for more than territory and mates, you can use it to project your emotions, perhaps to threaten other Galra or encourage them.”

Keith nodded, a wave of relief washing over him. “I didn’t even _know_ I was doing that, so...thank you.” he said, “Um...I have one more question.”

Ulaz gestured for him to ask.

“How’d you know I was an omega?”

Ulaz smiled, amused, “The same way you knew I was an alpha.”

Keith huffed, “But I was just guessing. There’s betas too, right?”

Ulaz turned his gaze to the side, “There’s a different scent to everyone, but there’s an underlying scent every alpha or omega has. Omega’s have a... _hm_ ...sweet scent, rather spicy when in heat.” he glanced at Keith as he said that, and Keith gulped. It felt like he was being checked out and that his admirer _deeply_ appreciated what he saw. “Alphas have an almost mint-like scent, though I’ll be honest, alphas stink during their ruts.” Ulaz said with a hum of a chuckle. “As for betas...they don’t tend to have that underlying scent, and they’re not all that common.” he explained.

Keith smiled bashfully, taking a step to the side, still unsure if Ulaz was flirting with him or not. It felt like it.

“Are you coming on to me?” he prodded.

“What?”

Keith sighed, “Are you interested in me? Like, sexually?”

Ulaz was silent for a moment, and Keith could almost immediately smell that he was correct in assuming.

“Yes. _Naturally_.” Ulaz confirmed aloud, “You’re very alluring, not to mention I don’t meet many omegas in my line of work.”

Keith bit his lip, “ _Oh_.”

Ulaz tilted his head, and Keith chuffed nervously, “Are you _reciprocative?_ ”

Keith laughed breathily at that, cheeks hot and now that he knew about it his scent was wafting through the air, mildly distressed. “I mean... _no_...I...I just wanted to clear the air. Shiro’s my boyfriend.”

“Ah, that’s a shame. You really are a _beautiful_ omega.” Ulaz hummed, Keith barely withheld a gasp at the blatant statement, cheeks aflame with color, “But the Champion...I do not blame you, he would make a fine mate. Very strong, powerful, an exemplary example of the Terran species.”

“What do you mean _would_ make a fine mate?” Keith wondered, “We’re _already_ together.”

“Well, by Galra standards, one would assume you’re unmated.” Ulaz said, “I apologize, again, for not knowing.”

“Why would people assume _that?_ ” Keith asked.

“You don’t have a mating mark.”

Oh yeah, Keith remembered then that Coran had spoken about that.

“That’s like marriage, right?” Keith tapped his finger against his forearm, gaze on the floor.

“Hmm, yes, I suppose. Though if you do not wish to do that then I would recommend you have him scent you so other alphas know to withhold our advances, and likewise to him.” Ulaz explained.

Keith chuckled nervously, “ _Right_. I’ll do that.”

Ulaz pushed off from the wall and sighed, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I did have some matters to attend to with that fellow, Coran.”

Keith nodded and watched him go, wallowing in embarrassment, enlightenment, and a hum of consideration.

Oh _fuck_ , he forgot to ask about the insignia on his knife. Keith groaned over the lost opportunity and went to find Shiro.

 

* * *

Shiro’s eye twitched as he stared up at Keith from where he was sitting against Black’s paw..

“He said _what?”_

Keith chuckled at the pensive, dark cloud of possessiveness over Shiro’s head. “He only said he was _interested_ , I don’t know about long-term but he was definitely interested in fucking me.” Keith paused at the look on Shiro’s face, “But he took it _really well_ when I said I was taken, Shiro. Don’t worry.” he quickly assured.

Shiro’s frown deepened, almost a pout.

“He said you should make me smell like you so other Galra will know to back off, basically.” Keith sat himself down cross-legged before him and rested his chin on his hands, smiling at Shiro’s demeanor.

Shiro looked up at him, “How do I do that?”

Keith considered, “Well, humans don’t have scent glands like Galra.” Keith murmured, “So you’d have to make do with like...spit or something.”

Shiro looked aghast, “I’m not going to _spit_ on you, Keith!”

Keith deadpanned, “You can _lick_ me, Shiro.”

Shiro stared at him, pupils blown wide.

“ _And_ ...you could..” Keith ducked his head, biting his lip at what he was about to suggest. “You could _cum_ on me. Not let me wash it off.” he tossed out the line, bait thick and juicy and irresistible.

Shiro took it without hesitation. He flushed with color from the roots of his hair down to where Keith woefully couldn’t see because of his clothes. “ _Keith_.” Shiro breathed.

“Yeah?” Keith hummed.

“I think I’m taking you back to our room.” he scrambled to his feet and bent to grab Keith’s hands, hoisting him up and tossing him over his shoulder. “ _Right now_.”

Keith yelped and laughed in delight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coran is the REAL space dad and he's awesome I love writing him so much you guys. 
> 
> Ahem.
> 
> So, Allura's outburst was hard to write but her reaction wasn't given in the show, I didn't want to go overboard but I also didn't want it to be a simple thing either. And I love her to pieces, but I hate that Allura's casual racism wasn't immediately absolved and I wanted it to be a thing that the team, I guess Shiro mainly, just absolutely would NOT tolerate cause this is KEITH we're talking about. I felt it was appropriate for her to be chastised and self-evaluate and apologize to Keith sooner rather than ignoring him for what like, 3 episodes? and then apologizing. Also I wonder if anyone can see how I'm developing her personality and why, cause I am making her slightly different, or maybe freer than the show's Allura, because future thingy (spoilers) that I'm excited about so I can't help but mention it lol. So yeah she's gonna grow and mature differently here and I hope for the better. 
> 
> Also yes, Ulaz lives (cause I can and I will), fuck what happened to him, he's sexy and he freed Shiro and he deserves it. And Keith gets to talk to an actual Galra and get smarter, yay! Plus Ulaz is a doctor, it makes sense to hear the more intricate details from him, right? (and yeah he was so very totes into Keith but I mean come on who the fuck isn't? he's gorgeous!)
> 
> (I'll be your omega, Ulaz!!!) 
> 
> *cough* don't mind that *wipes drool*, ummmmm...
> 
> Anyway, excited to write more, hopefully with this intense motivation I have recently next chapter won't take quite so long. Also, this is going to be a shorter story than most, as a whole. I don't plan to get WAY into the lore and plot and stuff because I literally made this all up for a place to channel my ABO and mpreg ideas lmao (I can't wait for the mpreg hnnng I've never written it before am excite!). But maybe I'll make a more involved, heavily developed ABO universe in the future, you guys keep dropping a lot of awesome ideas I'd be a fool not to explore. 
> 
> I love y'all! Till next chapter!...should I start that with smut? Shiro still has to "scent" Keith ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> Come find me on:  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Crazyaniknowit)  
> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter I was dreading the most cause...well...things.
> 
> Fair warning, there is much angst, much much angst. But hey! I put a lot of sex to counteract it cause that's what y'all are here for right? Heh...heheh
> 
> Oh boy. Have a 20k helping of angst and sads and plot progression with a big ol' side of sex.
> 
> Also, starting off right where chapter 3 left off ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Keith huffed a moaning laugh and curled his toes, lower lip pulled between his teeth, bitten rosy red and throbbing. His hands were buried in Shiro's hair, tugging softly as he suckled and tongued his way up and down Keith's body like a monument to be worshiped.

It had been comically quick, the act of stripping down and Shiro all but _pushing_ Keith into bed before he crowded over him and began his sensuous work. It started from his lips, Shiro’s tongue flicking over them, a gentle laugh given when Keith parted them to gasp softly in a dazed sort of wonder. And Shiro took a moment to smile at him before he worked his way down his neck, biting and licking and suckling over his scent glands until Keith was already whining and _aching_ , back bowed off the bed in desperation for touch, for friction, for _fullness._

Shiro shushed him, pinned his hands to the mattress with fingers threaded ever so sweetly together as he paved a wet trail down Keith's clavicle and kissed at the rosy, erect bud of his nipple. Keith sucked in a breath, exhaled on a broken, quivering moan when he enveloped it in the hot warmth of his mouth, tongue swirling in a languid circle before he switched and gave the opposite nipple the same attentions. And then down, down, _down,_ he worked his way, glancing up at Keith through his lashes to watch him pant and wriggle. Keith managed a breathy chuckle when Shiro lapped over his navel, teasing and ticklish, before he sucked a bruise into place on the crest of his hip, jutting out so sharply and blooming with purple and red splotches before two minutes even passed.

Keith couldn't help but adore the fact that those colors happened to represent the two of them.

Shiro hadn't lingered long where Keith's cock was twitching and so very hard, curved up and resting just below his navel, weeping for attention. Keith gasped when Shiro pressed a firm kiss to the length, tongue tracing the vein of the underside in a long, smooth glide before he moved on to Keith's thighs. From there it was a back and forth, _torturous_ slide down to his ankles, and Keith laughed softly when Shiro lifted his leg to kiss at the little jutt of bone there.

“I don't think my _feet_ are necessary.” Keith said, twisting his foot to tap his big toe against Shiro's temple. Shiro raised a brow, nuzzling against his foot.

“Your never know, someone _might_ smell them.”

Keith simply guffawed at that, tossing his head back and clutching onto the pillow beneath it, “Shiro... _please_ don't suck on my toes.” he giggled, half joking, half serious.

Shiro hummed a laugh, and instead placed a kiss to the inside of his sole before he set his leg down. “Party pooper. Maybe I have a foot fetish?” he joked with a smirk as he crawled his way back over Keith, gaze lingering over his skin where it was peppered with the proof of his ministrations. Blooming with color and so very beautiful.

 _Mine_ , was what it said.

“You _better_ not have a foot fetish.” Keith belied his point by pressing his toes into Shiro's erection over the underwear he had yet to remove.

Shiro gave him a shrug, breath short as he pressed into Keith's touch, “I mean, if they're _your_ feet…” he trailed off.

Keith groaned, “That's gross.”

“Not _really,_ I mean-”

“Don't even _try_ to reason it.” Keith warned with a finger pressed to Shiro's lips, of which he suckled between them and made Keith's breath hitch once more. “Goddamnit, Shiro.” he whispered, “ _You're…”_

God he couldn't even finish his sentence, Shiro was just... _amazing._

Shiro hummed around Keith's finger, releasing it with a parting lick and Keith choked back a whine.

“You're really into this.” Keith finished, trying for cheeky but he just sounded breathless and needy.

Shiro ducked his head with a soft smile, “I'd do this _all day_ if I could.” he murmured, grinding his hips down against Keith where he was deliciously bare and wet...so _wet_ for him.

“ _Please_.” Keith moaned, pulling his knees to his chest and biting his lip.

Shiro kissed him, taking his lip between his own teeth and biting down just hard enough to make Keith whimper before he released it and soothed it with his tongue. “I'm not done yet. On your belly for me.”

Keith pouted, whining petulantly even as he rolled onto his stomach and pillowed his head on his arms. “You're the worst.” he grumbled.

Shiro kissed tenderly at his shoulder, swiping his hair to the side and scratching at his scalp to elicit shivers and goosebumps. “I'll make it worth it, baby.”

Keith wriggled and pushed his hips up to rub against Shiro, giggling when he pushed them back down and bit none-too-gently at the nape of his neck. “ _Patience_.” Shiro murmured, low and husky, and Keith shuffled to rub his cock against the sheets, biting his lip against the force of his moan. Shiro twisted his fingers into Keith's hair and pulled his head back, not harsh, but _firm_.

“What did I _just_ say?”

Keith grinned.

Shiro huffed, kissing at the soft spot behind Keith's ear. “You're a _brat_.”

“ _Your_ brat.” Keith whispered, and Shiro pinned his hips to the mattress, tongue paving a wet trail over his neck and down to his shoulder blades.

“Stop being so _cute_.” Shiro murmured against his skin.

“I'm _not_ cute.” Keith snapped gently.

“Yes you are.” Shiro said, a smile in his voice, his incessant mouthing and laving tongue hardly having stopped on his way down Keith's back. Keith just grumbled and hugged the pillow before him, face buried in it. Shiro paused and hummed, kissing once, twice, and then sucking gently at one spot on his lower back, just above his butt. “You have a beauty mark here.” Shiro whispered, and Keith wriggled beneath him.

“So?”

“ _It's_ cute too.”

Keith groaned and lifted his hips, ragged breath and a moan muffled into his pillow as Shiro parted his cheeks with both hands and pressed a wet kiss to his hole. Followed with a long, delving lick of his tongue. Keith _keened_ , body rolling with the wave of his pleasure and a plea pushing past his lips for more. Shiro hummed and pressed a finger inside of him, lips gone to kiss at the join of his thighs to his ass, biting teasingly and chuckling when Keith whimpered.

“ _Shiro_ …” Keith moaned.

“One second.” Shiro moved to kiss his way up Keith's back, giving a moan of his own, “You're so beautiful, Keith.” he sighed, and Keith flushed, smiling secretly to himself as he wiggled his hips.

“You keep _saying_ that.” Keith mumbled.

Shiro nuzzled into his temple, “What, that you're beautiful?”

Keith huffed, “Well that and the whole  _‘I'll fuck you in a second’_ thing.” he tossed over his shoulder, “Come _on_ , Shiro.”

“Ask nicely.” Shiro said, amusement tangible in his tone.

Keith turned a glare at him.

Shiro raised his brow, lips wobbling with the force of holding back his smile.

Keith huffed and turned his head into the pillow again, groaning and wiggling as he silently protested Shiro's request.

“ _Keith_.” Shiro drawled in a singsong voice.

“Shiro…” Keith whined, “I don't- _ugh.”_

Shiro chuckled, “Embarrassed, baby?”

“ _Mmf_.”

“Keith.” Shiro prodded, finger curling inside Keith and pulling a startled noise from him.

“Please!” Keith gasped, “ _Please_ fuck me, Shiro-”

Shiro shushed him and kissed at his cheek, “Okay.” he murmured in his ear, hoisting Keith's hips up a bit, “Okay, baby.”

Keith moaned long and low as Shiro nudged the head of his cock against his hole and pushed forward. Keith wriggled and pressed back against him until Shiro bottomed out and kissed breathlessly at his shoulders.

“ _There you go_.” Shiro rasped, lips catching where he mumbled the words against Keith's skin. He was slow where he was usually swift, a gentle but firm glide in and out of Keith, torturous and perfect. Keith arched and moaned and _whimpered_ , fingers scrambling in the sheets and his bangs sticking to his face with sweat, eyes screwed shut while he rolled his hips back to meet each thrust. Shiro held his hips so he wouldn't go too fast. And he just _kept_ _going_ like that, hand sometimes roaming over the sweaty expanse of Keith's back in quiet reverence, fisting in his hair to tug his head back so that he might murmur sweet nothings into his ear, kiss the apples of his cheekbones. He was positively _breathtaking_. So tender and yet stringing Keith's pleasure along, not allowing it to break.

Keith _loved_ it.

Eventually Keith hiccuped on a sobbing moan, desperate.

“Shiro, _please!_ ” he shuddered and Shiro pressed another kiss to his shoulder.

“ _Shh_.” Shiro panted, absolutely ragged and overwhelmed with Keith. “Doing so good... _so good_ for me.” he bit at Keith's neck, licking over the throbbing bruise and moaning unabashedly.

Keith whined and reached between his legs but Shiro grabbed his hand. “Shiro!” Keith gasped.

“No, baby. I want you to come like this.” Shiro murmured, low and dangerous. And then softer, “You can tap out if you need to.”

Keith shook his head, despite his whimpering, “I _d-don't_ need... _ah_...need to.”

“Okay.” Shiro kissed his temple and slowly increased his pace. And in kind, Keith's broken noises and moans and cries grew louder. By the time his pace was bruising Keith wailed and spurted white onto the sheets, shuddering through the aftershocks of his orgasm while Shiro slowed to a grind inside of him.

Keith whimpered and quivered, legs threatening to give out, and Shiro, almost seeming to know, pulled out and rolled Keith onto his back. Keith panted and looked down at him, watched him take ahold of himself and stroke rapidly until he too was making a mess of Keith's belly. Keith gasped at that, especially when Shiro eased himself down beside Keith and traced his fingers through his cooling spunk and slowly swiped it upwards.

“Oh my _god_.” Keith breathed, incredulous as Shiro gently rubbed at his skin. “You're...you're actually _doing_ it.”

Shiro was blushing fiercely, but he didn't pause, and Keith groaned with the knowledge that he smelled like sex and sweat and _Shiro_ , and that any Galra they met would likely know. They'd scent Keith and they'd know that Shiro _ruined_ him in the bedroom, that Shiro marked _every goddamn inch_ of him with his tongue and his _cum_ and Keith keened at the small aftershock of pleasure that brought him. _Holy fuck,_ he didn't know he was so into this.

“ _Um_...I hope...I hope that's alright.” Shiro murmured. He kept running his thumb over some spot on Keith's collarbone, the skin gone dry by now. It was a self-conscious habit, for Shiro to fiddle like that.

Keith took his hand and kissed it, sighing and smiling, “I think...you just made me fall in love with you all over again.” he whispered.

“It's kinda gross.” Shiro said, though his pupils blown wide and his flush seemed to say otherwise.

Keith hummed, turning into Shiro's touch and pressing his face against his chest, soft and comforting, “Maybe a little. I don't care.” he murmured, and then he chuckled, “Foot fetish is nastier.”

Shiro gasped in mock offense, “It is _not!”_

“So you _do_ have a foot fetish.” Keith snickered as he pulled back to look at Shiro's face. His eyes were shifting everywhere so that he wouldn't meet Keith’s gaze.

“I dunno what you mean.” he mumbled.

“Goddamnit Shiro.” Keith said, smiling, “I think that's a dealbreaker. Sorry.”

Shiro glanced at him in genuine terror for a second before he realized Keith was joking. “It's not like I have an actual _fetish_ , I just don't...have a _problem_ with it in general.” he settled on with a nod, “Like...like I said, if it's _your_ feet...I just think they're cute.”

Keith laughed and threw a leg over Shiro's hip, nuzzling against him. “I won't judge you for your foot fetish if you don't judge me for enjoying this whole scenting me with cum thing.”

“I _don't_ have a... _uh-_ ” Shiro coughed midway through his protest and chuckled nervously, “You, uh...really liked that?”

“ _Mm_.” Keith smiled, kissing at Shiro's pectoral, “I liked it _a lot_.” he murmured, “I like knowing I smell like you. That they'd know what we've been doing.” he placed his hand over Shiro's heart, thumb rubbing gently into the skin, “Know that I'm yours, and you're _mine_.”

Shiro stroked his hand down Keith's back, “ _Wow_.” he breathed.

Keith hummed in amusement as he looked up at him again, “That was a bit sappy, huh?”

Shiro shrugged, smiling wide and looking all too much like he definitely wouldn't mind hearing that again. Dork.

Keith smiled, eyes fluttering shut when Shiro stroked his fingers through his hair, repeatedly. “We hardly have time for this recently.” Shiro murmured. “Feels like weeks sometimes.”

“We _just_ went last night.” Keith chuckled softly.

Shiro gave a hum of acknowledgement. “I know.” he said, rolling onto his back with a drawn-out sigh. “I have to bond with Black.”

Keith opened his eyes and propped himself on his elbow. “And...how exactly _are_ you doing that?” he wondered, “I walked in and you were sitting on her paw. What were you doing then?”

Shiro was silent for a moment before he huffed, “It’s silly.”

Keith smiled at him, leaning in with a hum of a laugh, “Tell me anyway.” he whispered.

Shiro chuckled softly, “I...I was talking to her.”

Keith tilted his head, endeared and bemused, “ _Talking_ to her? About what?”

Shiro smiled fondly at that, “About me.” he said, “About my life. About how I feel about you.” he teased.

Keith scoffed and flopped back onto the bed, “That's cheesy, Shiro.”

“You're an interesting person, Keith.” Shiro moved to kiss at Keith's shoulder, and then he pillowed his head on Keith's sternum. “She likes hearing about you.”

Keith reached up to twine his fingers in Shiro's hair, gentle and scratching at the nape of his neck to make Shiro moan in delight and kiss at Keith's nipple, still a bit bruised and bright red from his earlier attentions.

“Do you think it's working?” Keith wondered.

Shiro shrugged, eyes closed in his enjoyment, “I don't know.” he murmured. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

Keith nodded despite the fact that Shiro couldn't see him.

“Did you get a chance to talk to Ulaz?” Keith asked.

Shiro jolted, lifting his head and turning curious eyes Keith's way.

“You said you wanted to know what happened to you.” Keith said, fingers trailing down to trace the lines of Shiro's jaw.

Shiro blinked, gaze shifting and his brows creased with whatever thoughts were running through his head.

“Shiro?”

“I'm okay.” he whispered.

Keith swiped his thumb over Shiro's bottom lip, red and kiss-swollen. “I didn't ask if you were okay.” he prodded gently, tone mellow.

Shiro sighed, thumping his forehead against Keith's chest again, shoulders hunched.

“I'm _scared_.”

Keith stilled, hands having gone to roam Shiro's back pausing to simply hold. He didn't speak, content to let Shiro pour out his thoughts and his feelings on his own.

“Keith,” Shiro began, “I can't remember much. It's all a fuzzy jumble of pain and blood _and_ -” his breath caught before he could even finish speaking, and he shook his head, “I just don't _know_. Maybe...maybe I shouldn't _want_ to remember.” he sagged against Keith's chest, fingers tracing little circles against Keith's arm.

Keith hugged him to his chest, lifting his head to kiss at Shiro's temple and to hum in consideration. “If you don't want to, then _don’t_.” he said, utterly sincere. Shiro glanced up at him, eyes wide and searching. Keith smiled, swiping his bangs out of his face, admiring their shimmery white color again. “But you didn't say you _don't_ want to. You said you _shouldn't_ want to.” he pointed out, and Shiro’s brows furrowed before he turned his face into Keith's neck, shuffling up on the bed to lay more fully atop him.

Keith nuzzled into him, kissing at his shoulder, “Do what you want to. Just remember there's nothing you _have_ to do.” he said.

“ _Keith_.” Shiro murmured, hoarse, and Keith’s eyes went wide when his shoulders shook.

“Shiro?”

Shiro shook his head, kissing at Keith's neck, “You're amazing, baby.” he whispered, voice wet.

“ _Shiro_.” Keith chuckled softly, incredulously. His heart stuttered when Shiro hoisted himself up, eyes glossy as he smiled down at Keith.

“I love you.” Shiro said, turning to kiss at Keith's palm when he cupped his cheek.

Keith stared up at him in wonder, lips turning up just so at the corners. “I love _you_.” he rasped, and Shiro leaned in to kiss him. Languid and slow, tongues meeting and lips parted to share breath and spit. And then Shiro pulled back, heaving a sigh and moving to sit on the edge of the bed, taking stock of where his clothing was.

He smiled over his shoulder at Keith when he sat up. “ _Don't clean up_.” he murmured, a teasing threat in his tone.

Keith smirked, leaning back on the heels of his palms and biting his lip, “ _Okay_.” he breathed.

Shiro grabbed at his leg and pulled his foot up to his lips to kiss at his ankle again, chuckling when Keith kicked lightly at his ass as he stood. “I should go try some more with Black.” he said, collecting his suit and pulling it on with a tired groan. “And then…” he cleared his throat, glancing up at Keith, “Maybe I'll look for Ulaz?” he wondered, as if looking for Keith's approval.

Keith tilted his head to the side with a shrug, “Sounds good, Shiro.” he smiled sweetly.

Shiro stared at him for a moment before his smile was back, and he nodded as he returned to his task of pulling his clothing back on.

* * *

 Keith made his way back into polite company with a dopey grin on his face and an air of satisfaction about him. That was always the case when he and Shiro had gotten some _‘alone time’,_ and everyone could tell at a glance. That only made him feel a little more smug.

Ulaz’s raised brow and pointed sniff was _especially_ pleasing.

Keith made his way over and sat down beside the Galra in question, fiddling with his fingers nervously. “Um, Ulaz?”

Ulaz turned an ear toward him, calculating furiously on a tablet, “You certainly were quick to follow through. If you plan to ask me if it _worked_ -”

Keith laughed, “ _No._ ” he interjected with a slight blush, “No, I...have a different question.”

Ulaz paused and turned toward him, blinking slowly and giving a nod for him to go ahead.

Keith cleared his throat and grabbed his knife from where he had strapped it onto his belt. He glanced up at Ulaz, took in his passive expression while he unwrapped the cloth from his knife. Passiveness turned to surprise.

“Where did you get this?” Ulaz murmured, gently taking the blade from Keith, who still reached for it even as he allowed him to take it.

“My dad.” Keith murmured, “He gave it to me.”

Ulaz frowned, brows furrowed in confusion, “Your father was _not_ Galran.”

Keith started, eyes searching his face. He wasn't asking a question, he _knew_ it for a fact.

 _“How-?”_ Keith wondered, breath stolen when Ulaz lifted his gaze to Keith once more.

The way he stared at him, as if seeing him for the first time, made Keith shift uncomfortably. “Huh.” Ulaz exhaled, softly, incredulously, “Now I see it.” he said, handing the blade back to Keith.

Keith took it hesitantly, searching Ulaz’s expression for a clue as to his thoughts. “See what?”

Ulaz smiled at him, placing a big, clawed hand over his head and gently ruffling his hair, “Aside from your Terran coloring, you're the spitting image of your mother.” he said.

Keith's whole world seemed to come to a slow stop, and he stared at some spot on Ulaz’s breastplate for the longest time, breath uneven and slow.

_“What?”_

Ulaz tapped the blade in his hands, “I recognize it.” he said, “Of course, we all wondered how she could have _misplaced_ her blade. It makes more sense that she left it purposefully.”

“My mother? You... _knew_ her?” Keith stood, sheathing the blade and standing to pace and keep his mind from a downward spiral of confusion and shock.

“ _Know_ her.” Ulaz corrected, and Keith's head snapped up, eyes wide. Present tense. He used _present tense_. “And yes, I _do_.”

More present tense.

Keith exhaled shakily, and then inhaled the same way, breath come in sharply and cold. Ice running through his lungs and his veins. “She's _alive?”_

Ulaz hummed.

“Where…? Where is she? What's her name? What does she look like? Why'd she leave Earth? Why was she even _on_ Earth?” the barrage of questions couldn't be helped, he was so...elated...shocked... _angry?_

Ulaz looked rather out of his element, ears pinned back and his gaze shifting every which way. “Kit...your mother-”

“Kit? That's her name?”

Ulaz laughed softly, “No, Keith. That's a Galran term for young ones.”

Keith frowned.

“I cannot say where she is, last I heard her mission was classified. But we knew the Blue Lion was on Earth thanks to her. Her name is Krolia.” Ulaz paused to smile, “And as I said, she looks like you. _If_ you were purple.”

Keith scoffed a laugh, hysterical almost. He pressed both hands to his temples, up to thread through his bangs and fist tightly as he paced. He'd suspected she was alive. And after seeing Ulaz’s weapon he'd suspected Ulaz _might_ know her, but to be _right_...it wasn't as pleasant as he thought it would be. He felt more like panicking.

“It's not my place to explain her motives. I don't know them, or at least the whole story. I was stationed as a doctor in Zarkon’s arena shortly after her return. When we make contact with the Blades, perhaps you can see her if she's returned from her current mission. For now she's under a no-contact rule, though.”

Keith blinked at him, “How _old_ are you?”

Ulaz tilted his head, “sixty-eight decaphoebes.”

Okay…

“How long do Galra _live?”_ Keith wondered.

“About four-hundred decaphoebes, unassisted by quintessence, that is.”

Keith stared at him, wide eyed, “Holy _shit_.”

Ulaz blinked up at him, unfamiliar with the swear .

“That's a long time.” Keith said. In that case Ulaz wasn't even the equivalent of a human thirty year old.

Ulaz shrugged, “I suppose it would be, I hear Terrans barely live to be a hundred, yes?”

Keith crossed his arms and nodded, “I mean, _yeah_.” he exhaled low and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. “I'm sorry. This is a lot to take in.” he breathed, startled to realize he was shaking.

Ulaz didn't reply, though his silence was welcome.

“What's she like?” Keith asked in a small voice, almost a whimper.

“I haven't seen her in decaphoebes.” Ulaz said, “But she is smart, cunning, strong. And yet she is also kind.” he ducked his head, “She's an incredible warrior, and pilot. She's trained hundreds of Blades.”

Keith lifted his head, lips parted in surprise, “Did she train _you?”_

Ulaz smiled, “No, we were trained separately.”

Keith's lip wobbled and he gulped over the lump in his throat, “She sounds amazing.” he rasped.

Ulaz nodded, “She is, kit.”

Keith turned on his heel, clearing his throat, “I...uh, thanks. I need to _go_.” he managed before he walked briskly away. Once out the door he broke into a sprint. He soon found himself on the training deck, and he took solace in laying waste to a few levels for just as many hours.

* * *

 

“I should tell Keith.”

Shiro closed his fist where it rested on his thigh, listening to the whir of gears and servos. It was a familiar gesture, one he used to repeat so many times throughout the growing course of his dystrophy it'd become reflex. He _still_ felt that phantom ache sometimes, a distant memory tangible in the limb no longer truly there. He sighed and lifted his left arm, rubbing his metal thumb into the palm. He was lucky it wasn't his dominant hand anymore, he didn't aggravate it as easily as he had always done to his right hand when he had it. Still, it ached distantly, had even cramped and spasmed a little while he was... _with Keith_ that afternoon.

He smiled briefly at the thought of Keith, how he had moved and whined...always so _beautiful._

“I remember when this started in my right hand.” he continued, head thumping back against the hard metal of Black’s paw. “And I feel it now, _here_.” he traced his metal thumb over the palm of his left hand. “Took its sweet time.” he scoffed, wry in his humor, “Not that I’m complaining. I think the quintessence that witch must have used on me delayed it for a while. _Nice of her_.” he said sarcastically. “Also cruel to give me hope she'd perhaps cured me.”

There was a low rumble from Black, and he looked up to see her head tilted down, just enough to see him.

“No, I'm okay now.” Shiro said, offering her a smile, “I've got a year or two before it gets bad. Then another year or so before I... _yeah_.”

Black rumbled again, and Shiro turned his gaze down, frown set in his lips, “I'm used to thinking like this. It's how it's always _been_ for me, Black. Since I was a little kid.” he exhaled a sigh, “Keith has always been supportive, ever since he first found out, y'know.” he said in a smile, “He was so _young_ then, little spitfire. He's still young but, he's always been more mature than he should be. We have that in common, me because I’ve never had time to be a kid and him because he was forced to grow up too soon.”

Shiro rubbed both hands down his thighs, back and forth to stave off the anxiety welling up in his being. “I've _always_ been prepared to die.” he whispered, “But now I've got someone to live for and-” his breath hitched, “I _love_ him.”

Black’s rumble turned into a coo, high and keening. Despairing.

Shiro blinked rapidly, wiping at his cheeks, “ _Ah_...and I don't want to leave him.” he sniffed softly. “Not _again_. Not for good.” he hunched forward to bring his knees up to his chest, burying his face in his hands. “What am I going to _do_ , Black?"

“What's Keith going to do?” he murmured. Just as he loved Keith, he knew Keith loved him. And if he didn't know how _much_ he loved Keith he'd say Keith loved him even fucking _more_. Keith had his share of people leaving him behind. Shiro just...he _hated_ to think of it. He knew Keith knew that he wasn't cured, too. He _must_ know. Imagine knowing your lover has always had a clock ticking away for them, doomed to leave long before you. How _torturous_ must that be?

He'd always been resigned to his fate, but now, for the first time in a while, he felt well and truly _scared_ of it. Not because he was scared for himself, but because he was scared for _Keith_.

Shiro sighed and sat back, wiping at his face and chuckling wryly, “How's that for bonding, huh?” he patted Black’s paw, “Now it's your turn, go on and tell me _your_ deepest secrets. Maybe something like how to break Zarkon’s bond with you?” he looked up to see her looking back down at him, silent. Shiro kept her gaze for a time, and then he hummed as he stood, rubbing his temple at the oncoming headache from the tears he'd shed. “Not now? Suppose I can try again tomorrow.” he said, and she resumed her stance of sitting regally, as the Lions always did when powered down.

Shiro shook his head and walked out of the bay, leaning up against the door and taking up his left hand to rub at the deep ache, to soothe at it the best he could. “ _Goddamnit_.” he whispered. He really did need to talk to Keith about this. Keith needed to know for certain that it wasn't dormant, that Shiro's clock was _still_ ticking.

He needed to tell him, but he sure as fuck didn't _want_ to. Nobody would, he supposed. Who _would_ want to see Keith's beautiful face crumple and his violet eyes well with glittering tears? He took it well the first time, but they were both still too young, then. The reality may not have set in until now. And Keith had been so _adamant_ that Shiro wasn't going anywhere when he tried to remind him back on that god-forsaken planet when they were stranded.

Fuck, he hated this, he hated it _so much_. He could be resigned to it and yet still resent his fate, couldn't he?

Shiro made his way down the hall, still rubbing away at his hand. It appeared to start there and make its way up his arms, his legs would probably be next. He wasn't looking forward to that. A hand gesture mistimed was one thing, a step mistimed could spell disaster.

All he could do was hope it didn't come to that, but just the thought had him tensing at the way his brain tried to imagine what that would feel like in his legs.

He smacked his aching fist into the wall, eyes gone closed while he paused in his pacing to breathe heavily and bring his fluttering heartrate down.

“ _It's okay. It's okay._ _It’s okay._ ” he murmured to himself. It was a problem for future Shiro. He'd cross this bridge when he came to it. For now, he needed to find Ulaz.

* * *

 

He didn't get much of a chance. It was after dinner, everyone was growing tired after a meal and a day of planning or training or, in Shiro’s case, sitting beside Black’s paw and projecting his thoughts at her.

They were heading to bed when the proximity alarms went off, the ship promptly shook, and then everyone was scrambling to their battle stations. The following event was incredibly stressful, what with the continuous jumps they had to make to avoid Zarkon’s battleship. And in the process damaging the teleduv.

They barely managed to escape him by the skin of their teeth, and at that point attempting another wormhole jump would be absolutely impossible.

“We need new scaultrite lenses. Not to mention Allura _desperately_ needs rest.” Coran said.

“I'm _fine._ ” Allura rasped from her seat, head resting in her arms.

“I hate to break it to you, but everyone has limits, Princess.” Shiro said, and she glanced up at him through her lashes with a weary sigh.

“We need to take advantage of our reprieve, it seems he's not following us any longer, for reasons I cannot explain.” Coran said, “It's almost impossible to find scaultrite without a weblum, but perhaps... _hmm_.” he paused to think, hand twiddling at his chin. And then he pulled up a screen and began tapping away, a determined set to his brow.

“What is it, Coran?” Allura asked, and Keith wondered if he was imagining the bags under her eyes.

Coran straightened and cleared his throat, “Well, _you see_ , I used to trade on Unilu swap moons-”

“Coran, _no_.” Allura interrupted in a groan.

“It's our best chance!” Coran lifted his arms in a desperate gesture, “We don't have _time_ to find a weblum and I've just scanned the universal net and found at least three swap moons close by.”

“How can you be sure anyone has scaultrite?” Ulaz asked, “The Altean technique to harvest it has been lost for ten thousand years.”

Coran sighed, “Even a slim chance is better than nothing, right?”

He glanced around the room and everyone shuffled in place, unable to come up with retorts to that.

Keith sat forward, clearing his throat, “So what would we be dealing with on a swap moon?” he prompted, and Coran shot him a rather overly-pleased grin.

“ _Well-”_

* * *

Keith sighed and deposited his disguise in the trash bin along with the other Paladins. It was on him for encouraging Coran, but the chance of finding scaultrite lenses was too great an opportunity to pass up.

That said, he hadn't expected a _mall_. It was laughable, really. He had thought they'd be dealing with back-alley types like some dark, hair-raising scene in an old action movie his dad use to watch. Still, the peacefulness wasn't that bad of a surprise, and they were free to roam the mall in search of their quarry, after all.

As much as Shiro wanted to come along, he was _exhausted_ , as were they all, but Keith insisted. He'd told him that he would only nap if Shiro did, and with a pout so petulant one would think he was a child, Shiro gave a nod and sent Keith on his way with a kiss.

 _“Besides.”_ Keith had said, _“You still need to work with Black.”_

To which Shiro had grown weary and gave another nod, appearing drained and discouraged. Keith had tilted his chin up and given him a sweet smile, a soft peck of lips, and a murmured promise to be back soon.

Keith hoped it was true. He wanted to fall into bed and sleep for a _week_.

Keith blinked and came to a rather halted stop, he would go so far to say he tripped over his feet, and he probably should have expected to see a store like this. But it still caught him off guard. And it was alien, so...there was that. A kind of exciting aspect to it.

Keith glanced around, as if any of the other Paladins could see him when they'd literally gone off in several different directions. Then with a steeled breath, he walked into the store...the sex store.

Normally Keith wouldn't be interested. Normally Keith wouldn't be staring at the most ridiculous apparatuses and most... _bizarre_ alien dildos and such. But he'd been on that castle for _months_ , and he'd yet to find what he was after. He supposed it made sense, it _was_ a battleship after all, who thinks to supply lube to their soldiers? And here that was easy...that was what this store was meant for...except for one or two problems: he couldn't read the labels.

Keith bent over and stared at the shelves of tubes filled clear, obvious liquid, sighing and pursing his lips as he glanced between the labels and the slightest distinctions in color and opacity. How the hell was he supposed to tell? And why weren't the labels in Galra? He could at least _partially_ interpret that by now. He would just grab at random but who knew what kind of reaction Shiro could have to something foreign. He just wanted a plain old lube! Keith straightened and groaned, and then he turned to the person who was down the aisle, strange, blue, and somewhat indescribable.

“Excuse me?”

They turned to him, blinking what seemed to be eight green eyes at him.

Keith cleared his throat, blushing, but come on, they were _all_ in a sex store. They were all here for the same thing.

“I can't read these. Is there one that's just... _plain?”_ he gestured to the wide array of bottles, and the creature approached him, studying the shelves before they plucked one out and handed it to him.

Keith chuckled nervously, “Th-thanks... _thank you._ ” he gulped.

The creature grunted and walked away.

 _Excellent_. Keith smiled as he looked over the little bottle.

Now for problem number two: Keith didn't have any _money_.

Keith rolled his eyes as he remembered.

Only one thing for it. He sighed and stepped back, stretching his arms over his head and glancing around the store. Security camera over there, other corner, and there...employee right there. Keith brought his arms down, playing the weary, penniless soul he was. He bent over again and mimed putting the bottle back, and instead tucked it down his sleeve. 

He'd done this once or twice before as a kid, _and_ as a teen for that matter. Though that was with candy bars...same principle here, he supposed. He stepped back and placed his hands on his hips, heaving a dramatic sigh and scratching his forehead with his free hand while he discreetly let the bottle slip into his pouch. Thank god he'd left the clasp open when he came in. There was nothing in it before anyway. Now he just needed to browse the store again, act natural, and leave. Easy as pie.

He wandered around and raise his brows at the various array of toys they had, eyes catching on a thick, vibrant purple one. It was big, with a tapered head, little ridges and spurs, and a wide knot at the base.

For some reason the sight made him want to salivate. He twitched when he felt a little trickle of slick start to slide down his thigh, felt himself throb a little. Well damn. _Really?_ He squeezed his thighs together and bit his lip, sighing at the indiscernible price tag.

Too bad it was as big as his forearm. No way he was fitting _that_ up his sleeve, much less discreetly. 

A shame. A real fucking _shame._

He didn't notice that some of the store-goers sniffed the air and glanced at him curiously.

He figured a good ten minutes was all he needed, no one had come asking to see his pockets. Now was the time to leave. And he did. He walked straight out of the store and turned to stroll casually down the walkway, a little smirk pulling at his lips as it settled in that he'd succeeded. It was too bad, he'd have preferred to pay, but... _yeah_. No money was no money. And as far as he could tell, Allura and Coran didn't seem to have any either, so he couldn't borrow from them. Maybe someday he'd come back, buy that _dildo…_

He paused and glanced over his shoulder, hairs raising on the back of his neck. He could have _sworn…_

He looked around nervously, eyes following everyone who walked about casually. He thought, for a moment, that someone was _following_ him. Why would they, aside from him stealing? But then, wouldn't they just walk right up to him and accuse him outright? Why would they sneak around? Keith glanced around once more, heart racing as he steeled his breath and broke into a light jog, as if he _knew_ where he was headed and how to get there.

He slowed again as he remembered he was meant to be looking for scaultrite. _Damnit_.

Keith shook his head, rolling his shoulders out and looking around before he stuffed his hands in his pockets and resumed looking through each store he passed. The feeling didn’t return, and he passed it off as nerves. Still, he spent the rest of the afternoon properly unsettled. Even after they made some big escape with a bag of scaultrite lenses on the back of a _cow._

What a _day._

Upon arriving back Coran made to go repair the teleduv, and Shiro came onto the bridge soon after. He rather snuck up on them, he was moving so fast, and Keith yelped in surprise as he suddenly hugged him.

“Keith! I did it...I think, _yeah,_ I did.” Shiro said as he pulled back from him and held him at arm’s length.

“Did what?” Keith wondered, dazed and mildly infected by Shiro’s contagious smile.

“It was Black, he was tracking us through Black. And it's _crazy_ but I severed Zarkon’s connection!” he exclaimed, and Allura’s head popped up from where she was bent over with the mice.

“You _did?_ How can you be sure?” she asked.

Shiro chuckled incredulously, “Black helped me, she took me to the remains of the Galran homeworld and then I was...well I don’t know where I was after that, but I...I fought him. I fought Zarkon for control of her.” he ducked his head, “She chose _me_ over him.”

Keith shared a bewildered look with Allura.

“But you never left the ship?” Allura murmured, “It would have alerted me if the Lion left.”

Shiro smiled again, “It...it was like a dreamscape, some sort of weird astral projection, I guess. Like when I see through her eyes, you know what I mean, right Keith?”

Keith nodded, and then he laughed softly, “Guess it’s a good thing you stayed, huh?”

Shiro nodded breathlessly, and then he pulled Keith in for a kiss, chaste, mindful of their company, and Keith made a muted noise of surprise as Shiro picked him up and spun him around. When he set him down he kept a hand wrapped around Keith's hip, “ _Ah_...so did you guys find…” he trailed off and blinked over Keith's shoulder, “Is that a _cow?”_

Keith glanced over absently, “Oh yeah. I forgot about her.”

Shiro stared in incredulous shock, “Where did you guys get a _cow?”_

Pidge, who had been groaning over the realization that she didn't have anywhere to plug her game console into, lifted her head. “Apparently those old movies about aliens kidnapping cows weren't just fiction. She came free with the game we bought at the mall.”

Lance grinned, “And we’ll have _milk!_ Can you believe it?”

Shiro looked positively flabbergasted, but he nodded and glanced at the bovine with raised brows, “Okay then. Um…” he turned his gaze to Keith, “ _Wow_.”

Keith shrugged, “To be honest I don't know _what_ happened, one thing led to another and next thing you know we’re riding on a flying cow to escape the mall cop.”

Poor Shiro only looked more confused, “Flying? _Mall cop?_ Wait, I thought you guys went to a swap moon? Like...like a trading post?”

“A lot of things can change in ten thousand years.” Hunk said. “It was pretty nice, modern. But did I mention I almost got enslaved into being a dishwasher by Vrepit Sal? Lucky I'm a good cook and the mall cop came chasing me or else I'd have been stuck there forever.” he said with a smile.

Everyone in the room blinked at him.

“What kind of _crazy_ mall-?” Shiro wondered quietly.

Keith chuckled and pat his poor boyfriend on the back, gently guiding him out from the bridge. “Did you get some sleep?”

Shiro cleared his throat and turned away, “I...a little... _maybe_.”

Keith frowned, “Shiro. I told you-”

Shiro smiled sheepishly, “Sorry. I was with Black, though.”

Keith couldn't help but smile back, “Well, no time like the present. Come here.” he threaded his fingers between Shiro's and all but dragged him down to their room. Upon arriving he nudged Shiro inside and closed the door behind them.

“Strip.”

Shiro smirked, “Yes _sir.”_

Keith smacked him on the butt. “Don't be coy, I'm trying to go to _sleep_ , Shiro.”

Shiro hummed and proceeded with Keith's command, going slow and making Keith roll his eyes as he bit his lip and blinked at Keith from under his lashes.

Keith tossed his own shirt to the side and scoffed, going up to him and assisting him because apparently he couldn't undo a zipper any faster than a slow, ridiculous slide. Or he could, he was just being a- _“Brat.”_

Shiro huffed, “That's my line.” he said as Keith shoved his vest down his arms and tugged his shirt over his head.

“You're a brat more often than _I_ am.” Keith said, unbuckling Shiro's pants and trying not to make eye contact so he wouldn't be tempted to kiss him, “It should be _my_ line.” he said as he shoved them down Shiro's legs, encouraging him to step out of them and his boots.

Shiro laughed as Keith turned him about and nudged him toward the bathroom. “Brush your teeth.”

“I'm not a _baby_.” Shiro retorted.

“Then stop _acting_ like one!” Keith called back, smiling as he turned the blankets down.

While Shiro was busy Keith dug into his pouch and pulled out the bottle, tucking it under the mattress. Now he could actually, plausibly bring up the subject with Shiro. Not tonight, of course, he was _far_ too exhausted. He gave a nod of satisfaction and sat down on the bed, blinking slowly and yawning with a hand braced over his lips.

Shiro returned then, planting a kiss to Keith's temple and pulling him into bed as he got in himself.

“You're sure anxious to get to sleep.”

Keith groaned and planted his face into Shiro's chest, nuzzling at his pectoral. “I haven't slept in _two days_. Gimme a break.” he mumbled.

Shiro hummed, and Keith blinked up at him to see he was already nodding off.

Cute.

Keith kissed at his chest and Shiro's lips barely turned up in a smile, and Keith listened to his breath even out as he fell asleep. He was still reeling with the events of the past forty-eight hours, so he didn't take long to follow. But he had things to talk to Shiro about, his mother indeed being alive, for one, whether he had gotten a chance to speak with Ulaz yet for another…

Keith made a mental note to address that in the morning.

* * *

 

Keith grumbled and turned his face into the sheets. He did _not_ want to wake up. Shiro was shifting in place, kissing at Keith's shoulder, and Keith reached a lazy hand up to stroke once at Shiro's cheek before he nuzzled into the pillow again. Making a noise that ended up sounding like “ _Mrghh_.”

Shiro hummed softly in amusement, and then Keith instinctively arched his back as Shiro started shuffling down the bed, kissing at his skin on the way.

“N’you call _me_ insatiable.” Keith mumbled, and Shiro nipped at the waistband of his boxers.

“It's been a while since we weren't on edge, baby.” Shiro said, adding in that typical, macabre sort of humor he liked to use: “Over a _year_ for me.”

Keith opened his eyes and lifted his head to  cast a sympathetic look at Shiro, “It has. I'm sorry, Shiro.”

Shiro shook his head, “Don't need to apologize.” he rolled Keith onto his back and peeled his boxers off, tossing them to the side. “Let me suck you off?” he asked with a rather adorable tilt to his head, looking up at Keith through those thick lashes. _Fuck_ he was cute. And hot...but... _cute._

Keith nodded, and blood rushed south now that Shiro was leaning down to press kisses down the length of his cock, coaxing it along with tiny laps of his tongue and wet, open-mouthed kisses that pulled a breathy moan from Keith. Once he was hard and aching Shiro took him in his mouth, a steady slide down to the root. He glanced up at Keith then, eyes hooded, nose brushing the dark, curly hair at the base. Keith whimpered and fisted both hands in his hair, hips undulating as Shiro let his jaw go slack. He blinked at Keith pointedly. God...he wanted him to _fuck his mouth._

Keith gasped and planted his feet, rolling his hips up in sinuous thrusts while Shiro moaned deep and contented around him. Keith tightened his grip and tossed his head back, whining softly at the idea, that Shiro was having him _use_ him to give himself pleasure.

“ _Shiro_.” he managed, the name pushed out of his chest in a punched-out moan.

Shiro suckled at him, humming and making Keith writhe at the vibrations.

“Fuck... _fuck_ …” Keith whimpered, fingers twisting in Shiro's hair, thighs and belly burning with the strain of moving, but he was _almost_ there. He panted, gasping for air and rocking his hips into Shiro's mouth, a ragged moan given as he came. It wasn't anything spectacular, and he found himself chuckling breathlessly when Shiro winced as he pulled away and got a spurt of cum in his eye for his efforts.

“ _Shit_...sorry.” Keith giggled as Shiro wiped at his face and scoffed.

“If it's not messy you're not doing it right.” he said as he propped himself up on his forearms and shrugged.

Keith hummed and tossed his head back, stretching out languidly and groaning at the pleasantness of it. “ _Fuck_.” he whispered, “M’gonna fall asleep again.”

Shiro went to sidle up next to him, and Keith stroked his fingers through Shiro's hair as he threw a leg over his and nuzzled into his side.

Keith raised a brow, fingers twisting in Shiro's dark hair to tug his head up.

“ _Ow_.” Shiro grinned.

Keith hummed, “Do you want some help with that?” he nudged his thigh against Shiro where he was _very_ hard and twitching at the contact through his boxers.

“Not if you're too sleepy.” Shiro murmured, and Keith pet his fingers through his hair.

“Is that a _challenge?”_

Shiro scoffed and turned Keith onto his side, lifting his leg and pulling his cock out of his boxers. Keith bit his lip at the stretch, a rather easy slide, as Keith was decently stretched from the past day or so. Shiro bottomed out and pressed a kiss to Keith's cheekbone, trailing his lips down to his jaw and mouthing needily as he rolled his hips.

Keith's breath hitched and he reached his hand up to grasp at Shiro's hair again, biting back on a whimper and closing his eyes to focus on the decadent slide of his cock. A whimper pushed past his lips, muted and lazy, and Shiro hummed as he moved his lips down to suck and bite over the sensitive gland on Keith's neck.

Keith yelped at the touch, back arching at the euphoria that ricocheted down his spine.

 _“Fuck!”_ he gasped, “Careful. _Careful, Shiro.”_

“Hm?”

Keith moaned and turned his head into Shiro's touch, “ _Don't_ …”

Shiro stopped and lifted his head, “What? What's wrong?”

Keith scoffed a laugh, “Nothing.” he looked at him over his shoulder, “I forgot to tell you, uh... _biting_...that...the gland. Can't really do that.” he said, and Shiro tilted his head, brows furrowed in bewilderment.

“Oh… Okay.” he said, pursing his lips, _“Why?”_

Keith blushed, “It's...the Galra equivalent to marriage... _kinda_.”

Shiro raised a brow, “If I _bite_ you...right here?” he tapped a finger over the swollen, sensitive gland on Keith's neck. Keith bit his lip, brows strained with the force of holding his moan back.

“Y-yeah.” he breathed. “Um...you can bite softly, I _think?_ Lick it too...it feels really, _really good.”_ he closed his eyes in a shudder at the thought, “I guess just…don't bite hard?”

Shiro nodded, and Keith clenched around him once he realized Shiro was still just sitting there.

“Sorry. Didn't mean to kill the mood.”

Shiro chuckled, “No. You're fine, Keith.” he leaned in to kiss his cheek, resuming his pace gradually, slow and tantalizing. “You're _perfect.”_ he murmured against the shell of Keith's ear.

Keith gasped and turned his face into the pillow when Shiro obliged him by mouthing and sliding his tongue against his neck, over the gland and even suckling at it. Keith let out a strangled cry at that, panting harshly as he dug his fingers into the sheets and rolled his hips back into Shiro's thrusts.

“Shiro... _mnh!"_

He barely even registered that he came again. It took his brain a moment to catch up with the fact, and Shiro's hand running down over his belly.

“ _Fuck_.” Keith panted, turning his head in search of Shiro, and humming contentedly when he pressed a slow, slick kiss to his lips. Shiro sped his pace, gone from languid to _desperate_ , and Keith smiled into the kiss when he felt him come, warm and pulsing and delectable. Shiro moaned, breaking away from him to press his forehead to Keith's shoulder.

No words were spoken, just heavy breath shared between them and the wet smeck of Shiro's lips against Keith's skin.

“Keith?”

_“Mm?”_

Shiro chuckled at the quiet, barely-there reply.

“Falling asleep?”

Keith nodded, reaching a hand up to stroked over Shiro's jaw before he turned into the pillow and made a muffled little sound.

“Don't want to clean up?” Shiro asked as he pulled out.

Keith shook his head, “ _Sleep_.” he mumbled.

“Okay baby.” Shiro kissed at his shoulder once more before he hoisted himself up out of bed.

Keith gave a whine of indignance, reached a blind hand out for him. “Where’re _y’goin’?”_

“I'm hungry. Go to _sleep,_ Keith.” Shiro grasped his hand, threading their fingers together sweetly as the kiss he planted on Keith's temple.

Keith grumbled under the affection, if only for the fact that he wanted Shiro to stay, but he was too tired to argue.

He felt Shiro stroke the backs of his knuckles over his cheek, heard him heave a sigh, and then he was gone, rustling around while he dressed and Keith was slipping off to sleep.

* * *

 

He woke a few hours later to Shiro sitting on the mattress.  

Keith rolled onto his back, rubbing his thighs together as he stretched out and groaned as his spine popped. He was still tender from the morning and it felt wonderful. He offered Shiro a sleepy smile, giggled softly when Shiro traced  a finger along the dark hairs leading a trail down from his navel.

“Hey baby. Sleep good?” Shiro wondered.

“ _Yeah_.” Keith breathed, “You've been awake the whole time?” he asked.

Shiro nodded, “I ate, I spent some time on the training deck.” he hunched his shoulders and rubbed his metal thumb into the palm of his flesh hand.

Keith’s eyes followed the motion, brows furrowed as he tried to remember _why_ that motion was eerily familiar.

“I’ve felt pretty energetic today.” Shiro said.

Keith scoffed, “Oh _I know_.” he said with a grin, “My ass knows too.”

Shiro hummed in amusement and shuffled closer to lean over and pull Keith into a hug. Keith frowned, the overall feeling of this hug rather morose. _Foreboding_. Not at all like the warm, comfortable hugs he was used to.

“What's up?” he murmured into Shiro's ear.

Shiro shook his head, “Nothing...just...want to hang out with you.” he said.

Keith wrapped his arms around Shiro's waist and rolled, pulling him into the bed and eliciting a soft laugh from the bigger man. He shuffled in close to him, tossing a bare leg over his hips and smiling at him.

“Tell me what's on your mind?” Keith said, forehead to forehead with him.

Shiro blinked and Keith brushed his fingers over his cheek, down to trace reverently over his jaw and brush his thumb over his lips.

“Is it Ulaz?”

Shiro shook his head, “ _No_. No, I haven't talked to him yet.”

Keith nodded, “You know you don't _have_ to.”

“I want to.” Shiro affirmed, grip tightening on Keith's hip, pulling him in closer with a sigh. _“Keith-”_ he cut himself off and gulped, eyes shut tight and a tremor run through him that had Keith immediately alert, curious and alarmed.

“Shiro?” he whispered in prodding, propping himself up on his elbow and sliding his hand down over Shiro's clothed arm. _“Talk to me.”_

Shiro exhaled long and tremulously, inhaled deep, and opened his eyes to fix Keith with a look that held the weight of the world within it. His eyes were so sad, it broke Keith's heart and he didn't even _know_ what he was sad about. Keith went still, he waited.

He waited while Shiro's silver gaze flitted from eye to eye, his lips parted and his brows furrowed while he seemed to ponder what to say.

“Keith...I'm...you remember my illness.”

It wasn't a question, but Keith nodded anyway, his heart seizing with fear at the conversation he _immediately_ knew was impending now. He supposed he should have expected it...but everything had been going so _well_. Shiro was _strong_ and more fit than he had ever been. Keith thought...he had _thought-_

Shiro sighed, the sound wet and broken, “Keith...I'm-it’s...it's _back_. Or...it never even went away I guess.”

“ _Shiro…_ ”

“Keith-it's okay. It's okay for now... _but_ …”

Keith had never had tears spring to life in his eyes so quickly, but it was more caused from the way Shiro's face crumpled, rather than his words. Keith gulped over the heavy lump in his throat, leaned forward to rest his forehead against Shiro's shoulder, to listen to his stuttered breaths and bite his lip against the force of a sob trying to claw its way out.

“You know I'm...I'm not going to be around forever.” Shiro sniffed, “ _Ah_. I don't want to _go_ …"

“It's okay. Shiro. I know.” Keith whispered.

“You don't, _you don't._ Keith I'm so _scared._ ” Shiro rasped, voice broken and trembling. “I'm _scared_ of it. I've never _been_ scared before. It's always been inevitable to me.”

Keith lifted his head, shocked, _“Shiro.”_

“Keith... _just-”_

Keith gasped as Shiro hugged him once more, held tight and his chest heaving on a quieted sob, as if he was holding back.

“I love you.” Shiro rasped, “ _I love you_ and I'm scared to lose you. To leave you. I don't _want_ to leave you. _Fuck_.”

Keith closed his eyes and gave way to the tears, he couldn't even _say_ anything. He couldn't refute Shiro's words because he knew there was nothing but truth to them. He shook his head and made to speak but no sound came out, just a broken whine of a noise as he buried his face in Shiro's neck.

Shiro gripped tight at the skin of his back, as if afraid to let go, and Keith let out a wet, hiccuping breath and cleared his throat. “Shiro... _ah_...fuck.” he mumbled, “Fuck.”

Shiro let him pull back, let him sit up and wipe at his face, pull his knees to his chest and stare down at them while he tried to think of what to say.

Keith shook his head as Shiro trailed his fingers over the bare expanse of his back. “I don't...I don't know what you want me to say?” Keith managed, wiping the palms of his hands at his eyes and sniffling.

Shiro was quiet for a moment, and Keith heard him stifle a hitching sob. “I...I don't expect you to say _anything_. I just needed to tell you.” Shiro murmured, “I didn't want to live day to day growing weaker without you knowing. I didn't want you to be ignorant of what's going on.”

Keith looked at him then, and Shiro closed his eyes, “Maybe I should have. Ignorance is bliss, right?” he chuckled ruefully.

“I always _knew_ , Shiro.”

“I know.” Shiro turned his head to the side and gave a weary sigh, “I just, I feel like we both forgot and- it was going to sneak up on us.” he inhaled sharply, “It's been so _perfect._ With you. I never _thought-”_ he paused to clear his throat, voice gone hoarse and on the verge of breaking, “You've made everything here so easy. I can fly the Black Lion, I can take on a Galra fleet and I'm never even afraid because you're there every time I get back.” he sat up and pulled Keith in close, noses brushing gently, eyes shut and emotions running on high. “And then I remember this and I remember that you're _always_ going to be there for me...but... _I'm_ not. I'm _not_ going to be here for you.” he continued, and Keith shook his head again, face drawn in a quivering whimper.

“Shiro don't say that.” Keith whispered, hand gone up to trace over his jaw, _“You're still here.”_

“Keith I don't want to _leave you._ ”

“It's not for a while. It's _not_.” Keith said haltingly, breath hitching.

Shiro scoffed over his watery eyes and pulled away to press his hand over his face. Keith felt like choking, like the world had been pulled out from under him yet again and Shiro wasn't even _gone_.

“Shiro.”

The man rubbed his fingers into his temples and sighed.

“ _Shiro_.” Keith insisted, getting to his knees to swing a leg over his and settle in his lap. The motion startled Shiro, and he blinked up at Keith in bewilderment. Keith grasped his chin and held his gaze, determination set in his brow, “ _Look at me_.” he said, and Shiro curled his fingers around Keith's wrist, thumb rubbing into the skin. “You're not dead yet. Do you hear me? And if I have my way you never _will_ be. I am  _not_ going to just roll over and let this happen to you. I'm _not.”_

Shiro made to speak.

“No. No you're thinking like a man who's forgotten that we're on the spaceship of an advanced alien race. We're not on Earth anymore. We’re in motherfucking _Star Trek_ for heaven’s sake!”

Keith paused to watch the tentative smile pull at Shiro's lips.

“ _Stop_ talking like you're already gone. You're here, with me. And I love you. I love you _so fucking much._ ” Keith leaned in to kiss him, once and chaste, “We can't let this rule us, we need to make the most of _every single day_. We need to make the most of _each other.”_

“I know.” Shiro murmured.

“Shiro. There's so much more out here, there's so much to discover and there's endless possibilities. Don't you think that maybe, somehow, _somewhere_ , we could fix this?” Keith wondered.

Shiro blinked up at him, eyes gone wide as if the thought had never crossed his mind.

Maybe it hadn't, or maybe it had.

Shiro eventually sighed and hung his head, even though Keith was holding it up. “ _Keith_.” he rasped, “Hope...it's dangerous. I can't dare to believe that.”

“Well _I_ can. I will _never give up on you_. You told me that once, _remember?_ And you remember what you also told me? You said I could never give up on _myself_. So _you_ better not do that. Don't you _fucking dare_ you goddamn _hypocrite_.” Keith whispered, voice breaking on the last of his words, and then he was kissing Shiro again. It was reminiscent of their very first kiss, in the sense that it was born of pure desperation. Aside from that it was born of pain, the fear that they'd be torn apart again.

Shiro gave a muffled whimper and clutched to Keith like a lifeline. And Keith buried both hands in what hair he could, holding him close, feeling him out through their desperate mingling of tongues. There was nothing sexual about it, it was all them trying to find some semblance of peace in one another, some bare inkling of knowing it might be _okay._

Deep down, there was no banishing the fear in either of their hearts. How could they? Despite Keith's words, his best efforts to turn Shiro toward hope, he was nowhere _near_ being there himself.

He broke away from Shiro gently, slow as if to assure him he would stay. And he blinked up at him through his lashes, wiped his thumbs under his eyes, smiled through the blur of tears in his own.

“We’ll be okay.” he murmured.

Shiro searched his eyes, visibly gulping, tilting his head into the caress of Keith's hand, “I hope so.” he rasped.

Keith sighed and kissed him once more, sweet and simple, pressing a finger to his lips as he pulled away. “When you're ready, we can ask about it? _Maybe?”_

“Ask who?” Shiro asked.

“Coran, Rhyner, hell, maybe the _Blade of Marmora_ could help. Just...let me know. I'll be there with you, I'll be _there_ for you.” Keith said, giving a sad little laugh over the hiccup he was stifling, “I'll _always_ be here.”

Shiro nodded, and Keith tried not to worry over the fact that he made no promises in return. Because he knew _why_. He knew that despite anything he could say, Shiro might never believe it until it happened. And that was okay. He'd be hopeful _for_ him if that's what it took.

 _“I love you.”_ Keith prodded, earnest and searching for a reply.

Shiro smiled, if ever so slightly. “I love you too.”

* * *

 

Shiro finally found himself alone with Ulaz a day or so later.

For once he wasn't actively _looking_ for him, he was just wandering about and when he came to the observation deck he found him already there.

Steeling himself, Shiro made his way over and sat down a respectable distance away, not so far that it would seem he meant to keep his distance, but enough that he didn't feel _too_ close. He glanced sideways and then turned his gaze to the stars as they passed by. What did he even want to _say?_ To ask? Shiro gulped and took a deep breath.

“Ulaz?”

Yellow eyes turned his way, a small, gentle smile given as he took in Shiro’s nervous composure. “Yes, Shiro?” he prompted.

Shiro cleared his throat, “I...I had a question, for you.”

Ulaz tilted his head, and Shiro didn't miss how he glanced at Shiro's prosthetic arm. “Question?” Ulaz wondered absently.

Shiro nodded, “I, well, I can't remember most of my time away and...you were there, I think, for most of it.” he said, crossing his arms and leaning back against the cushion of the seat. “Could you fill in the gaps for me?”

Ulaz didn't even hesitate for a second to say: “It's not a tale I think you'll enjoy.”

Shiro glanced at him in his periphery. “I never said I would _enjoy_ it.” he rasped. “I hate having a hole where my memory used to be. I hate not knowing what _happened_.” he paused to exhale a wet, ragged breath, “Please.” he finished in a whisper.

Ulaz stared at him for a moment before he sighed, resting back against the seat and closing his eyes. “There's a lot to tell. I can only share my side of the story, what I saw and what I heard. I wasn't with you for every varga. Only when you had finished fighting, when you needed surgery or stitches. But I'll try to answer your questions to the best of my ability.”

Shiro considered that for a moment before he turned toward him. “Ulaz, the most important question I suppose I have is: where did they take my friends?”

Ulaz gave him a sorrowful look, “I am sorry, Shiro. I was a medical officer, and my one accomplice on Zarkon’s battle cruiser could not see me often. I have only inklings of where they could be.”

Shiro chuckled wryly, “That's better than nothing.” he muttered.

Ulaz dipped his head, “The younger was sent back to the cells to recuperate _after-”_

Shiro saw him pause, as if realizing there was a chance Shiro didn't know already. “After I hurt him.” he murmured.

Ulaz sighed and nodded, “Yes, but I never saw him again. I don't know where they would have sent him besides back to the arena or sending him to join the other. And the other was sent to one of two places, either a quarry, I don't know which one, or perhaps a research facility.”

Shiro closed his eyes and gave a nod. “I see. What do they do at a research facility?”

“It's where they send prisoners to aid in research.”

Shiro tilted his head, “So, he wouldn't be _mistreated_ there?”

“I suppose not.”

Shiro exhaled a sigh of relief for Sam, though he was rather tense over the extreme vagueness of Matt’s whereabouts.

“I'm sorry I do not know more.” Ulaz said.

Shiro smiled, a wobbly gesture, as his emotions were yet again running on high, and his gaze on the floor, “I'm sure I can't expect you to.” he said, “Another question...um, “ he cut himself off to clear his throat of the hoarseness that had already overtaken it, “They...they took my arm on _purpose_. Yes or no?”

Ulaz’s solemn expression was all he needed to see to know.

Shiro nodded and covered his face with his flesh hand, stifling a sob, breathing in deep and groaning as he laughed ruefully through his emotional strife. “Okay.” he whispered, sniffling as he pulled his hand away and blinked rapidly at the stars.

“I am sorry.” Ulaz said.

“It's _fine_.” Shiro shook his head, hand gone to clasp gently at the divot where his flesh met metal, “It’s okay. I needed to know for sure.”

It was better than speculating to himself whether he had lost it in a fight or not. It was the result of his illness, in the end. Of _course_ it was.

He tried not to think about his remaining arm and the way it ached dully each day now. He sighed and turned to Ulaz again.

Ulaz waited patiently, brows creased in mild worry for him.

Shiro sat up straighter, scooted closer.

“Tell me more?”

* * *

 

Keith found Shiro slipping into bed with him that evening silent, reserved.

Their conversation of the other day made him sit up in concern, a hand gone to clasp onto his arm, “Shiro?”

“Hey Keith.” Shiro said, offering him a tired smile.

“You okay?” Keith wondered, crossing his legs and taking ahold of Shiro's flesh hand, thumbs kneading into the palm, “Your arm hurt?”

Shiro shook his head, though he made no move to pull his hand away. “Just... _exhausted_.” he said, “I talked to Ulaz.”

Keith stilled, “You did?”

“Yeah.”

Keith took a deep breath before he continued massaging Shiro's hand. “And...did that go alright?”

“Yeah. It went fine. I learned a few things.” Shiro said absently.

“Yeah? Did you... _remember_ anything?”

Shiro hummed and closed his eyes, “Not really. I just...I got some closure, I think. It's better than nothing.”

“It is.” Keith said, pulling Shiro's hand up so he could press soft kisses to his knuckles. “I'm glad for it.”

* * *

 

They ran into those S.O.S. spores a week or two later on their way to the coordinates for the Blade of Marmora base. The Olkari were fascinating, they had never seen anyone of the like, and they were a crucial addition to the coalition. Answering their call had been one of the best turnarounds they could have predicted. Not to mention Pidge unlocking a component of her Lion. Then it was on to pass Taujeer, where they made another addition to the coalition and sent some Galra running. It was exceedingly easy to get around without being a _literal_ homing beacon to Zarkon.

Keith glanced over at Shiro, the both of them filled with nervous anticipation at the thought of this impending meeting.

It had been quiet between them. A solemn sort of closeness where they mainly spent time clutched tight to one another in sleep or just touching shoulders or holding hands when awake. It was hard to be joyous when all they could think about were the harrowing things in life. Shiro's illness, Keith's mother, why she left, Shiro's past. It was winding the both of them up too much.

“Perhaps just one or two more jumps.” Allura said, wiping her forehead, “I'll make them in the morning.”

“You should wait at _least_ two quintents, Princess.” Coran said, gone to steady her swaying form with a hand, “You've been taking us to and fro non stop for the past cycle.”

Allura sighed, “I suppose. I'll still see how I feel in the morning.”

Keith took that as apparent enough a dismissal to stand up from his seat and stride over to Shiro with deep purpose.

The man in question startled when Keith planted his elbow on the back of his chair, turning a questioning gaze his way.

Keith smiled at him, jerking his head in the direction of the elevator. “Come here.” he said, and Shiro hesitated, already halfway to his feet. Keith supposed it was natural to hesitate when you didn't know what you were doing. Though the blush high on Shiro's cheekbones gave the impression he had his own ideas of what Keith was after. At that Keith reached forward to take his hand, “We need to spar.” he said, “Come on. We haven't since the Garrison.” he tugged and Shiro came willingly, laughing softly.

“It _has_ been a long time, hasn't it?”

Keith hummed in affirmation, leading him along almost playfully. Inside the elevator he drew Shiro close, arms wrapped around his neck, standing on his goddamn _tippy toes_ cause the man was so fucking _tall_ , and pressed their foreheads together (Shiro still had to lean down for that to be possible). “I miss you.” Keith whispered.

“I'm right here, Keith.” Shiro replied in mild bewilderment.

“You're right here, yes. Your head is somewhere else.” Keith said, and then he pulled back a little to cast a tentative look up at Shiro, “Does that make sense?”

Shiro shrugged, “Enlighten me?” he prodded.

“We-” Keith began, and then he paused to sigh, fingers twisting together behind Shiro's head, “We both need a break, from _everything_. We're thinking too much.” he said, and then he let his forehead thump against Shiro's chest, glad he wasn't wearing his armor. “I think we need to forget for a while.”

Shiro inhaled sharply and ran his hands up Keith's back, and the door opened then, exposing them back to the world, or the castle rather, and he gently tugged Keith along, taking his turn to lead them down the halls.

It was only when they got to the training deck, shucked their boots, wrapped their hands, that anyone spoke again.

“Should I not have told you?” Shiro wondered, almost too quiet for Keith to have heard him, but he _did_ hear him, and he whipped around from where he was stretching, absolutely incredulous

“Shiro... _of course_ you had to tell me. I'm not saying I regret that you told me.” he approached Shiro almost furiously, though almost was a kind word, the tremors gone through his limbs and the rapid pulse of blood through his veins was more than enough proof of how vividly the words affected him. “ _Hey_. No matter what we're feeling or talking about, everyone needs to just...forget every now and again.” he murmured. “Sometimes you need that escape because it hurts too much to think of and _I miss you_ and there's no other way to just find some sort of respite.”

Shiro cupped his cheek to halt his ramble, “Keith.” he sighed, “I'm _sorry_.”

Keith only realized belatedly that he was on the verge of tears, and he blinked as he turned his head into Shiro's touch.

“You're talking about Kerberos, aren't you?”

Keith closed his eyes and that was all Shiro needed to know.

“I didn't mean to leave you.” Shiro pulled him a little closer, and Keith chuckled ruefully.

“I know.” he rasped, “I _know_ that. But... _I-”_ he clutched tightly onto Shiro's wrist with both hands, “I thought you were _dead_ , Shiro.”

Shiro’s face was drawn and distraught, “Why didn't you bring this up sooner? If you were still hurting?”

Keith shrugged and turned his head down, “I...guess I didn't even know I was still grieving that.” he said quietly, “And I...try to give you as much hope as I can because deep down I'm _terrified_ of you leaving a second time.” he furrowed his brows and tightened his hold on Shiro, “Is that _selfish?”_ he all but gasped the word.

“ _No_.” Shiro cooed, “No. No, baby. It's not. You can _be_ scared.” his voice broke and he cleared his throat, “I know how you feel.”

Keith exhaled shakily and glanced up at him through wet lashes, _“Yeah?”_

“Inspiring others while you yourself aren't sure, or you're scared: it's what I do every day, Keith. It's part of being a leader.” he smiled ruefully at that, the taste of the words bittersweet on his tongue. “It's what I know you can do for them too, eventually.”

“I don't want to.” Keith murmured.

Shiro hummed, “Oh Keith…” he sighed as he traced his thumb over his cheek, “I know you don't. But you may _have_ to...in the future.”

“ _Never_ , if I have my way.” Keith only grumbled.

Shiro could only smile sadly, and then he took a deep, cleansing breath, and scoffed, “Didn't we come here to get away from all this?” he wondered.

Keith smiled, if only the barest amount, “We _did_.”

Shiro glanced around, faux confusion on his face, “Then why isn't your ass on the mat yet?”

Keith shoved him away with two hands on his chest, and Shiro laughed as he stumbled back, pulling into a fighting stance.

“And who said it would be _my_ ass? I can take you any day, old-timer.” Keith said, rolling his shoulders, competitive spirit kicking in.

“Prove it.” Shiro taunted.

Keith stared at him for a moment before he lunged, a leg swinging hard for Shiro's head and only dodged because Shiro knew _exactly_ what his words would prompt.

“Come on, baby.” Shiro danced away, bouncing lightly on his toes, “I _know_ you can do better than that.”

Keith growled and Shiro laughed as he darted back in to take a swing at him, blocked and deflected, but Keith surely kept him on his toes. In a way it was like a dance, fists thrown and blocked in a methodical fashion until one had been pushed too far back that they were stepping off the mat. And then they'd take their places and square off again.

Shiro got the upper hand when Keith slipped up, broadcasting an opening that left him pinned face down against the mat.

Shiro laughed breathlessly, and Keith grumbled as he wriggled and kicked underneath him.

“You were saying?” Shiro wondered, and Keith bucked ferociously.

“Fuckin- _fuck you!”_ Keith growled.

Shiro let up with another bark of a laugh, “That's not to say you won't have a chance to put _me_ on the mat.” he said as he pulled Keith up with an offered hand.

Keith came up gently, docile, and then Shiro gasped as he yanked him in close, swept the leg, and Shiro grunted, the wind knocked out of him as he hit the mat hard. He gasped at Keith incredulously as he followed him down and pinned him with hands around his wrists. It wasn't even a firm pin, there were _so many_ ways out of it, but Shiro just shook his head and smiled up at Keith.

“That's cheating.”

Keith shrugged, smirking, “Not really, you're not gonna play fair in a real fight.” he said, “Seriously what's the emphasis on fair play? _Nobody_ plays fair. Especially the Empire.”

Shiro nodded, “Good point.” he said as he wrapped his legs around Keith's waist and rolled them. Keith went rather willingly, and Shiro smiled wider at the hooded, dark way he looked up at him, legs gone to wrap around Shiro's hips enticingly, “Thought we were sparring.” Shiro snarked.

“ _We are_.” Keith murmured.

Shiro nodded and then jumped up to his feet, left Keith staring dumbfounded at the ceiling.

“ _Shiro_.”

“Get up, baby.” Shiro ordered playfully.

Keith sighed and pushed himself up on his elbows, biting his lip, looking up at him through his lashes.

“None of that.” Shiro stepped into a stance, “You're being pretty sloppy. We should work on that.”

Keith got to his feet, determination shining bright in his eyes. “Maybe I'm being sloppy on purpose. You want me to fight seriously?”

“You _weren't_ before?” Shiro wondered.

Keith tilted his head and cracked his neck audibly before he rushed him.

 _Now_ they were talking.

* * *

 

To say the Blade’s base was not what they expected would be an understatement. It was rather glorious and ingenious. Caught between two black holes and splendid in its wonder. Though getting there would be troublesome.

Ulaz granted them immediate access, that was not the issue.

“The only way in is treacherous, one misstep and you'll be torn to shreds.” Ulaz explained, “I would fly us in myself, but with my ship _destroyed-”_

“We can go in one of the lions.” Allura said.

“Yeah I can _totally_ take us in Blue.” Lance said.

Shiro hummed, “ _Actually_ , we should take Red.”

“What? Why?”

Ulaz nodded, “I was going to suggest the same. The Red Lion is the swiftest and the most deft, skilled as her pilot is.”

“Hey! _I'm_ a skilled pilot too!”

“Nobody said you weren't, Lance.” Allura said diplomatically.

Lance scoffed, “It’s hard not to think there's a bit of a _bias_ going on.”

“ _Lance_.” Shiro said sharply.

“Come on, Lance.” Pidge said.

Keith pursed his lips, “We could go with Blue if you really want to.”

Ulaz shook his head, “No, the Black Paladin is correct.” he turned to Lance, “Trust that this isn't a matter of preference, it's a matter of the best option for the safety of the team.”

Lance crossed his arms, and Keith withered a little under the frown he sent his way, though he crossed his arms in response with a mouthed _“What?"_

Ulaz broke the tension, “Our window is short. Let's go.”

“Who’s all going?” Hunk wondered.

“Someone should stay behind with the castle.” Allura said, glancing at Coran pointedly, _“Just in case.”_

Keith raised a brow, though his back was turned. He did share a glance with Shiro, noting the mild tension in his shoulders.

“I'll stay then.” Coran nodded, “I would feel some sense of security knowing the castle is looked after in the event we are tracked despite our precautions.”

“I think I'll stay too. Unless you want to clean vomit out of Red.” Hunk said meekly, “I don't wanna take my chances flying through _two_ black holes.”

Pidge made a bemoaned noise, “ _Aww_...I wanted to geek out over their base with you!”

“ _Paladins_. The window closes in a few dobashes.” Ulaz urged.

Pidge waved at Hunk, and Keith migrated to Shiro’s side at the glare he was receiving from the Blue Paladin. What was Lance’s problem? It wasn't as if Keith was _trying_ to be favored in any way.

Shiro placed his hand over Keith's shoulder, and Keith offered him a smile as they boarded his lion. It was mostly awkward silence as they piled into the small cabin, Keith at the helm, Shiro and Ulaz at either side. Ulaz gave solid directions, and Keith got them through the plotted path with little difficulty. There was a moment, there, where it _almost_ went wrong, but a quick course correction later and they were safely inside the natural shield under which the base resided.

Keith took a deep, steadying breath when they landed.

This was a lot to take in.

This was where his mother came from. Or rather the reason she had even _been_ on Earth in the first place. He was nervous. There was a chance she'd be here. Oh _god_.

There was a chance she'd _be here._

“Hey. You're lagging behind a bit, you okay?” Shiro wondered, and Keith quickened his pace.

“I'm fine.”

Shiro hummed, hand gone to thread their fingers together, squeezing his hand assuringly, “You sure?”

Keith nodded, “It's _fine,_ really.”

Shiro looked skeptical, but they were entering a room now, lined with tall, obviously Galran individuals, all masked and suited just like Ulaz. Keith couldn't help but feel that despite the fact that he was walking behind the rest, and despite the fact that he couldn't see where they were looking, that they were all _watching_ him. It made his hackles raise and he felt the warm rush of pheromones waft off in response before he could stop it, _distressed_.

Ulaz glanced over his shoulder and Keith gulped as he focused on controlling that.

Shiro kept giving him looks too, but that could be attributed to his incessant fidgeting, even as they came to a stop before the man who could only be the leader of the Blades, Keith shifted from foot to foot. Anxious.

“Calm yourself.” Ulaz murmured over his shoulder, and Keith blushed as Allura, Lance, and Pidge all glanced at him in confusion over their own shoulders.

“Ulaz.”

“Kolivan.” Ulaz dipped his head.

“You disobeyed orders.”

“I _did_.”

Kolivan heaved a sigh.

“It was beyond foolish of you to bring them here.”

Keith blinked, he had thought this was the Blade’s plan, and it seemed the rest of the Paladins and the Princess were as befuddled as he.

Ulaz didn't seem fazed, “It was a risk I had to take. For the good of _everyone_. We have worked in the shadows for thousands of decaphoebes, and we may do so for thousands more if we don't take advantage of the opportunities Voltron has to offer.” he argued carefully.

Kolivan tilted his head, “And what opportunities are those?”

Allura scowled in offense, moving as if to step forward, and Ulaz halted her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Our ways are stale, the passage of time has shown them to be ineffective, inconsequential in the grand scale of things. Voltron, on the other hand, has done more in barely _half a decaphoebe_ than we have in the past thousand.” he said, “ _Dozens_ of bases taken over by a measly group of seven individuals, I dare say the power of Voltron and the advantages over the Empire to be gained were _more_ than worth the risk of compromising our operation.”

Kolivan was silent for a moment, as were all the Blades, not a murmur, no hushed discussion amongst themselves, just patience. Though from Ulaz’s point it would seem they had to be _adept_ at patience, Keith would wager that at the very least.

Kolivan stepped forward, “Ulaz...you never cease to surprise me.” he said, and suddenly the chilly tone of the room, while still stiff and utterly professional, suddenly felt less daunting.

Allura walked forward with Ulaz, and they met Kolivan at the end of the steps.

“Princess Allura of Altea.” Ulaz introduced.

Kolivan deactivated his mask and gave a most respectful bow to Allura, “Princess, it is good to see you alive and well. According to the history books you simply vanished.”

Allura gave a nod of her head, not so formal nor polite as a bow, though Keith supposed she was allowed her begrudging. Mild as it was. “I'm honored to be here, difficult as it may be for me to understand your motives.”

Kolivan raised a brow at the crassness, and Ulaz offered him a slight shrug at his glance.

“Motives, indeed.” Kolivan rumbled.

Keith blinked when his yellow gaze, while without pupils or irises, turned to him. It was intense, the way he eyed Keith, up and down, a twitch of his catlike nose.

“An omega?” he said, “Interesting.”

Keith could have screamed in absolute embarrassment when all attention turned his way, gone red as a tomato. Fuck. Lance and Allura were as of yet unaware of his status as a Galra.

Allura stared at him for a moment, and then her lips formed an O, her cheeks darkening and a smile of mild amusement soon gracing her features.

Well that was just _great_.

Ulaz cleared his throat, “Yes.” he murmured, and then he leaned in close to whisper something to Kolivan. Kolivan hummed and Keith took comfort in Shiro's hand suddenly spanning over the small of his back.

“Krolia is not returned, nor will she be for some time.” Kolivan said.

Keith wilted.

Kolivan seemed to lose interest at that, attention returned to Allura. “If we are to build an alliance, we should discuss our goals, our capabilities.” he said, “If you will, there is a room this way. We can arrange accommodations for so long as you're here, though I will warn, we are not accustomed to guests.”

Allura smiled tentatively, “I wouldn't expect so."

* * *

 

Keith paced.

He had been doing so since he'd been escorted to the room with four cots and left there with Pidge and Lance.

Shiro and Allura were the diplomatic ones, Shiro's patience and stubbornness to counteract the princess’s own stubbornness and her tendency to snark. It was a good choice, Keith was too nervous to discuss anything of such importance. He was also surrounded by hundreds of other Galra, all of whom knew he was an omega, almost all of whom he could smell were alphas. In fact, he didn't smell a single one that had an undertone like his, he did notice a handful of betas, as Ulaz had mentioned.

Maybe that was why his skin felt like it was crawling. He was _surrounded_ by alphas.

“You're gonna drive me crazy! Sit down Keith, _jeez!”_

Keith turned a low growl over his shoulder, and Lance scoffed.

“Give over, just ‘cause you're half Galra doesn't mean you gotta act all feral.”

Keith whipped around, “What's _that_ supposed to mean?”

Pidge groaned, “Oh my _god,_ guys.” she shook her head and rolled onto her cot, hands pillowed behind her head. “Stop fighting already.”

“We’re not fighting! I just made a statement. No fists here.” Lance said.

“There _could_ be.” Keith threatened, taking a few steps closer, and Lance scoffed as he pressed an offended hand to his chest.

“Rude.”

“ _You're_ rude! What the _fuck_ is your problem?”

“What's going on?”

Keith jumped to attention and then shrank in on himself at Shiro's stern tone, his crossed arms and disapproving glare.

“Keith's threatening to punch me.”

“You-” Keith spun on his heel, “-called me a feral Galra!”

“You're certainly _behaving_ like one!”

“ _That's enough!”_ Shiro snapped, authoritative, and if Keith wasn't so pissed and nervous and anxious he might have found it arousing. As it was, Keith flinched. “You're both being ridiculous. What are the Blades supposed to think of us bickering among ourselves?”

Keith hugged himself.

“We weren't bickering.” Lance mumbled in a weak defense.

“You were definitely bickering.” Pidge supplied helpfully, and Lance gave her a sneer.

Shiro sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose like he was fighting a headache, “Look,” he said, “Just _behave_. Please. We need this alliance.”

“I'm sorry.” Keith said, and Shiro softened, approaching him and laying a hand on his shoulder so he might lean in close to whisper.

“Is everything okay?”

Keith bit his lip and looked down, shrugging. “Yeah.”

“ _Keith_.”

Keith closed his eyes and shifted his weight from side to side.

“You know I'm here for you, right? Street goes both ways.” Shiro murmured, nose brushing against Keith's temple.

“Yeah. I know. I'm sorry _it's_ -” Keith exhaled a shaky sigh, “This place makes me nervous.”

Shiro chuckled softly, “Me too, kind of surrounded by Galra, y'know?”

Keith hummed, opening his eyes, “Gotta keep reminding yourself they're the good guys?”

Shiro shrugged, “Something like that.” he said, “Different for you, I'm guessing?”

Keith nodded, “It's...I guess it's not something you can relate to. Not the same for me.” he said, “I feel like my instincts are going _haywire_. Crawling under my skin. Feels like everyone is watching me no matter where I am. Like I can't relax. Does that make sense?”

Shiro pursed his lips, “I mean, kind of? Is that a Galra thing?”

Keith nodded again, “Yeah. I don't know, feels like-” he paused to rub at his neck, “You know when I go into heat?”

Shiro perked up in alarm at that.

“Like that but... _different_.” Keith looked up at him, “I'm not going into heat, Shiro, don't worry.” he assured, “It's just a similar feeling, without the dizziness and the... _other things.”_ he blushed a little at that, and so did Shiro.

“I see.”

“It's just a bit nerve-wracking.” Keith sighed.

“A _bit?”_ Shiro prodded, smiling at him.

Keith huffed, “I could get used to it if I wanted to. Just never been around this many Galra, let alone alphas.”

“They're _all_ alphas?” Shiro asked.

Keith gave a so-so gesture, “Most of them, a few betas, I don't smell any other omegas but I don't know if I've met them all yet.”

“Hm.”

“Um...how did that meeting go? Was everyone... _civil?”_ Keith wondered, if only to change the subject.

Shiro nodded, “More or less. Kolivan is a rather passive, apathetic person, he got Allura’s blood boiling a couple times. Just because he can sound a bit heartless when he speaks. But then, Ulaz is the same, if not more _empathetic_. Overall, tensions were pretty low.” he said as he guided the both of them to sit on a cot. “We are pulling together a rough idea of how to continue while joining our operations together. If it works…” Shiro glanced up at Keith through his lashes, hope in his eyes, and Keith's heart swelled with need to see that hope through.

“I'm certain it will.” Keith said, laying a hand over Shiro's.

Shiro hummed and glanced over to where Pidge and Lance were murmuring amongst themselves. Or rather Lance was murmuring/ranting to Pidge while her fingers flew over her tablet and she gave an occasional: _“Uh-huh.”_

“So where did that tension first start?” Shiro wondered.

Keith glanced over at Lance, crossing his arms tight over his chest. “I don't  _know_.” he said, brows pinched, “I honestly had no idea who he was when we rescued you, he acts like I've been his rival all through our Garrison years or something. I didn't even _know_ him before we rescued you.”

Shiro hummed, “You ever try bridging that gap?”

Keith frowned, “He's my teammate, and that's it. I don't really _need_ him to be anything more. Especially when he makes it his mission to degrade me.”

“Maybe that could come from a place of insecurity.” Shiro said, “You're...I'm not going to lie, you're _phenomenal_ , Keith. You always have been, and that's intimidating, especially to someone who's gotta struggle to achieve the same things.” he explained, and Keith could only listen, not exactly meek in his own abilities, but unwilling to be vain at the moment. “Maybe you can make some sort of connection.”

Keith scoffed at that, “I _have_ tried. Last time I tried to reason with him he talked over me and accused me of trying to steal Blue out from underneath him or some shit.”

Shiro raised a brow.

“I don't even know.” Keith shrugged. “I just don't know what to _do_ besides tolerate him if he's going to resist everything I do.” he scowled at that casting a deadpan look Shiro's way, “And I say _tolerate_ mildly.”

Shiro managed a chuckle.

“I'll talk to him.”

Keith groaned, “You probably shouldn't. He's pretty well aware of your _'bias'_ toward me and I don't think he'd take it seriously.”

Shiro shrugged, “You never know. I'll still try.”

Keith blew out an exasperated breath and leaned back against the wall, “Knock yourself out.” he muttered.

“ _Baby_.” Shiro said as he stroked a hand down the length of Keith's leg, sweet and loving. “Tired?”

“More restless.” Keith sighed.

“Maybe a walk?” Shiro asked.

Keith grimaced, “Um...if you come with me.”

Shiro raised a brow, curious.

“Just don't really want to be surrounded by alphas. They make me too nervous.”

Shiro gave a nod and stood to offer Keith his hand, “Let's go then.”

* * *

 

Kolivan and Allura glanced up at everyone, eager for input on the intricate plan they had concocted. With the help of the Olkarion it would take at least two cycles to put into action.

If they were lucky.

_“Well?”_

Coran stepped forward, “Where are we going to get enough scaultrite for the teleduv?”

Allura smiled sheepishly, “Guess.”

Coran blinked, and then he gave a tittering laugh. “Oh _quiznack.”_

“Wait-what- _why_ is he so nervous?” Hunk asked.

“What about the prison?” Shiro asked. “Who's going to head that mission?”

Allura offered him a nod, “Obviously you, and Pidge for technical support, Lance as well for backup.” she said.

“I would send some Blades with you. But it is still imperative that our existence remains a secret until the very end. It's the only way to keep our operative safe.” Kolivan said.

Shiro gave a nod, “I understand.”

“What are Hunk, Coran, and I supposed to do?” Keith asked, glancing longingly at Shiro, though he knew realistically they would not always get assigned to the same missions, it was hard when he was so anxious for him lately.

“You're going to be in charge of fetching the scaultrite...you and Hunk, that is. Coran is coming with me to the Balmera.” Allura explained.

“And where, exactly does one _fetch scaultrite?”_ Hunk prodded.

* * *

 

For that, Kolivan actually did send a Blade along, a more moderately tall Galra, slender in his physique, not like Antok, whom Keith had met when escorting Kolivan to the Castle, and he had a tail just as Antok did. Keith hadn't seen Galra with tails, or rather noticed that some had tails before. This Blade was an alpha, because _of course_ he was. And Keith didn't have the decency of distracting himself from that fact with flying his Lion, because that was Hunk’s task.

It was awkwardly quiet.

Keith glanced sideways more than once, and under the somewhat eerie mask the Blade looked his way in return.

“ _So_.”

Oh thank god for Hunk taking initiative. Bless his social heart.

“I'm Hunk, this is Keith. But you probably already knew that, or maybe you didn't cause everyone always refers to us by color.” Hunk said, “What's your name?”

Keith watched the Blade glance his way again, as if questioning or raising a brow, and Keith gestured for him to go on. He did, a less rumbling cadence to his voice than Keith had imagined.

“Regris.”

“Oh that's a good name.” Hunk said, smiling. “So why do you all wear masks all the time, even on base like, you don't need to hide your identities from _each other_ right? Isn't that suffocating?”

Regris was silent, and then he pressed the button on his neck and Hunk looked over his shoulder.

“Is this more suitable to your liking?” Regris wondered in what Keith suspected was amusement. He wasn't that far off from looking like Ulaz, though his hair was longer and shaggier, and he wasn't fluffy. And his eyes weren't pure yellow, his purple irises met Keith's gaze.

“Oh yeah. Much _much better_ , has anyone ever said those masks are a bit scary?”

“They were designed with functionality in mind, rather than appearance.”

Keith couldn't help but softly chuckle at the stark contrast between Hunk’s cheery, inquisitive tone and Regris’s flat, sensible replies. It wasn't as if he seemed _annoyed_ , if anything, Keith saw a bit of a smile on his lips with some of Hunk’s questions, expressive ears swiveling around with his replies. He was nice to be around, not at all intimidating once Keith had gotten used to him. Though there was the consistent way he would look at Keith every so often. But to be fair, Keith was staring at _him_ a lot too.

“So, what do we do when we find a weblum?” Keith wondered once they neared the coordinates.

“Well Coran gave us a _video-”_

* * *

 

To say Shiro was frustrated was an understatement, though meeting Slav himself, Keith could easily understand in mere moments how the guy had gotten under Shiro's skin.

But hey, at least everything had gone according to plan. They had Slav, the scaultrite, a Balmera crystal (destroying an enemy they had already defeated was surely _fun_ ), and now... _now_ it was a waiting game. While the Olkari and Slav and Coran worked on the teleduv. It should be a project that took months, as it was with them involved, it would only take a couple weeks.

Tension was rather high among the team, though not a friction and more as a collection of nerves. Maybe solemness would be a more accurate term. The collective realization that if this worked it would be the gradual end of Voltron as they knew it, and that they'd be free to go their separate ways.

It was both freeing and harrowing to think.

Keith and Shiro discussed it. Everyone had a goal of going home, finding family.

“I've already found my family.” Keith murmured, face to face with Shiro where they lay in bed. Shiro smiled as Keith traced a thumb over his cheek,the scratch of stubble. “When's the last time you shaved?” he wondered.

Shiro hummed, “A few weeks ago.”

Keith laughed, “You're like me then? I never did get facial hair”

Shiro chuckled, “Hey now, at least I _can_ grow a beard if I want to. It takes a while but I _can_.”

Keith rolled onto his back, still laughing, “At least I don't need a razor, like ever.”

“Rub it in, why don't you?” Shiro sighed, shuffling over to prop his chin atop Keith's sternum.

Keith stroked his fingers through Shiro's hair, down to scratch at his scalp. “What about you?”

“Mm?”

“I have a general idea, but what's your plan for after all this?” Keith asked.

Shiro bit his lip. “If...if we win.” he began, “And you come with me?”

Keith smiled as he nodded.

“Then I want to explore. I've always wanted that, to go to space, to see things nobody else has seen. I never dreamed I'd get _this_ far but I still want to go farther.” Shiro said, “And maybe together we could find a way to...to make sure I get to stick around.”

Keith gulped and couldn't help the way his smile fell, if not momentarily. “ _Yeah_.” he rasped, “That sounds amazing, Shiro.” and then he added, stroking his thumb over Shiro's lip, a soft chuckle when Shiro kissed it, “I’d follow you anywhere.”

Shiro closed his eyes and lay his head down on Keith's chest, “I know you would, baby.”

* * *

 

Dinner was pleasant, calm, that solemn air replaced with confidence, surety in their eventual success, the plan was foolproof, it would only take a flawless execution.

Keith twined his fingers with Shiro's when the food and the talking came to a slow, trickling end like the last of water run down a stream. He pulled Shiro down the halls and to their room, and Shiro knew exactly what he was about, chuckling as Keith pushed him up against the door once he had him where he wanted him.

“Shouldn't we save this for a victory?” Shiro asked, teasing, and Keith kissed him, tasting the remnants of the sweet tea Hunk had made.

“I want you now. _I want you_.” Keith murmured into it, hands clawing at Shiro's vest, pushing it down his shoulders. Shiro only complied, sweet smile upon his lips that Keith licked and nipped over until Shiro was gasping his name, rutting against the thigh that Keith shoved between his legs.

Keith tugged him toward the bed and pushed him back against the mattress, laughing along as he bounced against it, moaning into the way Shiro tugged lightly at his hair and pulled him into a deeper, intimately languid kiss with tongue and teeth and wet gasping for air. Shiro groaned at the way Keith pushed his thighs up, hands under his knees, and rutted desperately against him, hungry for bare skin.

“Shiro... _mnn_ , Shiro?”

Shiro blinked his eyes open and stared at the ceiling, and then he turned a dazed look Keith's way, smiling goofily, “Yeah?”

Keith bit his lip and pulled back to divest Shiro of his pants, giggling when Shiro had to kick them off one leg where they caught on his foot. The article of clothing went flying and landed somewhere with a thump, not that they could care less where it ended up. Keith looked over Shiro, taking in the lovely expanse of skin, sculpted and dusted with fine hair, down to his cock where it rested full and heavy against his navel, and down _further_.

Keith glanced up to meet Shiro's eyes as he trailed his fingers down the inside of his thigh, rubbing circles until he reached Shiro's perineum. Shiro's breath caught at that, and then his lips parted in a stuttering moan when Keith pressed a teasing, exploratory fingertip at his hole.

“Can I-?”

Shiro began to nod, and then he winced, “We...don't have _lube_.” he said, and Keith reached down to where he'd stashed the lube, holding it up with a gesture and a smirk. Shiro stared at him, glancing between his face and the small bottle. “Where did you _get_ that?”

Keith shrugged, “You wouldn't like it if I told you.” he said, popping the cap and drizzling some of the viscous substance over his fingers.

“ _Keith_.” Shiro reprimanded softly, his tone weightless of any real disapproval and breathy when Keith returned his fingers to him, rubbing over his hole and pressing every so often.

“You said yeah, right?” he questioned, and Shiro gulped even as his pupils blew wide.

“Yeah. _Y-yeah,_ totally. _Please_.” he rasped. “Go slow.”

Keith pressed a slick finger inside and Shiro tossed his head back, eyes slipping closed, no noise aside from a rush of vocal breath that sounded like relief. God he was so fucking _tight_. When was the last time-?

No Keith didn't really want to think of that, but it had to be at least a couple years.

It didn't really register that this was Keith's first time in a different way.

Shiro inhaled sharply as Keith pried a second finger inside him. He was perfectly lax, easy to work open, as if his body _wanted_ it, and from Shiro's lazy writhing, his heavy breath, it would surely seem that it was the case. Keith was rather unused to going so slowly, though. He himself took minutes, or sometimes no preparation at all. He himself was always slick and utterly pliant, _made_ to be spread open. Shiro needed to be tended to. _Taken care_ _of_ first.

But that was not to say Keith minded in the slightest. _Indeed_ not. It was worth everything in the _universe_ to see his brows crease, lashes flutter, his jaw drop as Keith curled his fingers, rubbing over that spot that dragged a deep moan from him and had him jolting against the mattress, back bowing. Was this what _he_ looked like every time Shiro took him apart? Like putty in his hands, so beautiful and desperate and _perfect?_

Keith leaned down to lick over Shiro's clavicle, catching a stray droplet of salty sweat on his tongue, humming against his skin where it was red with a blush, warm with blood. Keith trailed his kisses and his tongue down to swirl over a nipple, taking the bud between his lips to moan and suckle once or twice and listen to Shiro's startled whine. _Holy fuck._

“Shiro, can I fuck you now?” Keith murmured.

Shiro gasped, eyes flying open and looking down at Keith, soft, needy. “ _Yeah_.” he rasped, and Keith immediately pulled away from him, slicked up his cock, and pushed the blunt head against Shiro where he was ready for him, spreading even as Keith just nudged against him.

Thick thighs went to wrap around Keith's waist, made Keith feel so very small in comparison, Shiro was a big man after all. And he was looking down at Keith with trust and need and love in his eyes, desperate, pleading. Keith pushed forward and closed his eyes, shuddering at the wet warmth, fuc _kkk..._

“Fuck! _Shiro…”_ Keith whimpered, burying his face in the man’s neck, mouthing at his skin as he hilted inside of him, Shiro's hands clutching tight to his back, fisting in his shirt where he had forgotten to shed it.

“So good, Keith. You're _perfect.”_ Shiro panted, words tinged with a moan, and Keith rolled his hips to garner more from him. More and more of those delicious noises. Shiro did not disappoint, he moaned and he whimpered, panting heavily against Keith's cheek, murmuring his name as Keith began his pace.

Keith went slow at first, building and building until he was providing a punishing pace and Shiro’s breath was hitching on a cry of pleasure, bitten back, whether out of embarrassment or breathlessness, who was to say?

“Don't come.” Keith panted when Shiro started to tighten and seize up, and Shiro startled, looking up at him through clouded eyes, confused.

Keith slowed just enough that he could concentrate.

“Hold off for me. I can go...m-more than once, remember?” Keith managed, trailing his hand down Shiro's arm to thread their fingers together, grounding himself with the feeling of cold metal against his skin. He repeated the process with Shiro's flesh hand, leaning down to lay a wet kiss upon Shiro's lips. One Shiro chased even as Keith pulled back, “Is that okay?” he wondered, “Can you do that for me?”

Shiro stared up at him in awe for a moment before he smiled, “Is that- _ah!_ A _challenge?”_ he gasped.

Keith smirked and rocked his hips _hard,_ swift enough that Shiro bit his lip to hold back his cry, eyes screwed shut as he tossed his head back.

“Fuck! _Keith!”_

Keith mouthed at Shiro's jaw and kissed his way down to bite at Shiro's neck, not hard enough to break skin but surely enough to bruise. Shiro yelped and Keith licked over the sore spot, reveled in the hitching moan he received. “Sorry baby.”

“S’ok.” Shiro pretty much slurred. And _oh…_ that really did it for Keith.

Just a little more…

Keith cursed in a hiss as he hilted and weathered his orgasm, gasping for air and moaning softly as he spurted white inside him.

“Shiro... _Shiro…”_

Keith whispered his name like a prayer, listening to Shiro's halted moan and feeling his legs tighten around his waist, pulling Keith in ever further, as if he wasn't pressed all up against him, no room to get any closer. Like they were one being.  

“Ah...oh _wow.”_ Keith laughed breathily, and Shiro hummed, fingers clenching around Keith's where he still pinned them down. “You feel amazing.”

Shiro huffed a laugh, “I can tell…” he panted.

“Give me a minute, Shiro.” Keith sat back on his haunches. “Wanna get on your belly?”

Shiro groaned and threw a hand over his eyes. “Don't really wanna _move.”_

“I'll make it worth it, promise.” Keith chuckled as he pulled out, and Shiro rolled over. Keith bit his lip, a groan he couldn't quite help escaping him as he pried Shiro's cheeks apart and watched a trickle of his come slide down his taint. Yeah, hard again for sure. Keith stroked his cock a few times, slick with lube and his own come, and then he nudged Shiro's thighs apart with his knee, seeing him look over his shoulder in a motion he was sure he did all the time. Holy _fuck_ was it an experience to see it from this angle, hooded eyes and thick lashes, debauched lips and hair disheveled, the expanse of his back peppered with coiled muscle and thin scars, fading love marks that Keith had put there himself…

“You’re _beautiful.”_ Keith couldn’t help but murmur as he pressed inside again. Shiro breathed a punched-out moan, back arching, muscles flexing and bunching up beneath his skin and begging for Keith to bend down and kiss over the dip of his spine as he began his pace again. Unadulterated and harsh. He was aiming to make _Shiro_ come this time.

Shiro pressed his forehead against the mattress, breath heavy and grating as he clawed at the sheets, Keith’s heart swelling with pride at being the one to make Shiro whine and cry out like this. The one to make Shiro desperate and shaking, clenching tight around Keith’s cock and threatening to break oh-so-soon.

And break he did, Keith changed his angle a little, reached beneath Shiro’s hips to stroke him off, and Shiro moaned, head tossed back and - from what Keith could see of his profile - eyes closed in gentle bliss even as Keith roughly dragged him over the precipice of his orgasm. Warm, copious seed spilled into Keith’s hand and easing the slide of it over Shiro’s cock as he soothed him down.

“Fuck, Shiro. You were so good.” he rasped, slowing his pace to a grind, letting Shiro relax into the mattress as he chased his second climax. Keith undulated his hips, lip bitten to cut off his own pleasured noises. As delightfully vocal as Shiro was, Keith was louder, and he choked on a cry as he filled Shiro once more.

He pulled away after a tender kiss to the back of Shiro’s neck, a soft, breathy chuckle given as he rolled onto his back beside Shiro and panted, brushing his hair away from where it was plastered to his forehead with a hand.

Shiro groaned and propped himself up on his elbows, looking so much the perfect picture of fucked-out and debauched. Cheeks flushed and his hair sticking up everywhere, it was both hot and _adorable_. Keith tilted his head up to meet the lazy, open-mouthed kiss Shiro went to give him, humming into it, pleased and contented.

“You been saving that one?” Shiro wondered.

Keith laughed, “I’ve been wanting to fuck you since I was _sixteen_ , Shiro.” he said.

Shiro smiled sheepishly, “Don’t _tell me_ that, that’s inappropriate.”

Keith turned onto his side and propped himself on one elbow, “I had a _lot_ of filthy fantasies. Teenagers have very active imaginations and you are a very, _very_ hot man, Shiro. What was I supposed to do? Ignore _all this?”_ Keith ran a hand down Shiro’s back down to cup his ass in a firm knead, biting his lip against the force of his smirk as Shiro flushed and buried his face in his hands.

“You’re ridiculous.”

Keith grew a little soft at that, “We agreed we’re allowed to be ridiculous.” he said, and Shiro turned an amused, nostalgic glance his way.

“We did.” he murmured, leaning in for a kiss.

“Doesn’t feel like it’s been almost five months.” Keith said as they parted.

“Feels like longer. So much has happened.” Shiro said.

Keith hummed, “Feels shorter for me.” he sighed, and then he grew pensive. “Shiro?”

Shiro made a little noise of acknowledgment, leaning in to pepper kisses up and down Keith’s neck, a teasing lick given to Keith’s clavicle.

“After this is over...and I have my next heat...Uh…” he began, fumbling, “You...I want you to try and bite me, here-” Keith tapped the gland Shiro had been giving attention to. “In Galra terms it’s like...like _marriage,_ I know. But...let’s just say it’s like a metaphorical promise ring?”

Shiro stared at him, eyes wide.

Keith gulped, “If you want to. It’s...it’s too weird, too sudden isn’t it?” he wilted under the silence, and Shiro exhaled a shaky breath.

“No-ah-I mean...yes, _ah…”_ Shiro closed his eyes to take a deep, calming breath, “I _mean_ to say, I _would_ like to, and _no,_ it’s not weird...or too soon.” he explained slowly, as if talking any faster might be too difficult.

Keith sagged with relief. “You _would?”_ he prodded, needing to hear it again.

Shiro smiled, a little watery, but mostly happy, “Yeah. Yeah I’d love to, Keith.” he said as he cupped Keith’s face and pulled him into a deep, languid kiss. “I _want_ to, baby.” he rasped, rolling back and Keith followed him, the tension already returning, fatigue of their coitus already gone.

They made love twice more that night.

* * *

 

Keith woke in the early hours of the morning to Shiro stroking his arm, light enough that it was obvious he was trying not to wake him. Keith didn’t open his eyes, he just shuffled and rolled over to face Shiro, nuzzling into him. He almost smiled if it weren’t for the hitch in Shiro’s breath, the way he felt his hand quiver and the carefully controlled exhale that ruffled Keith's hair.

“Shiro?”

Shiro sighed and hugged Keith tighter, didn't let him see.

“Nightmare?”

Shiro shook his head.

“What is it? _Shiro?”_ Keith wriggled and Shiro turned to bury his face in Keith's neck.

“Sorry. I just needed... _Keith?”_

“Yeah?” Keith wondered, more than a little anxious for him.

“ _Everything_ rides on tomorrow.” Shiro murmured, “I just want to hold you.”

“You are holding me.” Keith chuckled softly.

“Keith.”

“Yeah?”

Shiro pulled back to look at him, emotion that Keith couldn't quite decipher shining in his eyes, “I love you.”

_I Love You._

~

“Shiro!”

-

_“He's not responding.”_

-

“Just tow his Lion on board, we need to leave, _now!”_

-

Keith all but fell from Red’s mouth, heart in his throat, adrenaline pushing him to run faster, frantic.

_I love you._

That's what he _said._ And they were going to explore the stars together, search for a cure. They were going to see the universe. They were going to _be_ together, they were going to be _happy._

_“Shiro!”_

Keith climbed through the lion, gasping and shaking. Expectation had an image of Shiro injured conjured into his imagination. Shiro limp and unmoving in his chair. The worst case scenario whispered nefariously that he might be dead.

Keith didn't _believe_ in the worst case.

“Shiro! Shiro _what-”_

Keith froze, boots skidding to a halt on the smooth floor. He stared at the back of the pilot’s seat, the empty pilot’s seat. He stared long enough that everyone caught up to him, everyone drawn up short in similar fashion.

The last thing Keith _heard_...the last thing he _saw_ , was Zarkon grabbing the head of Voltron...Shiro's sharp, _horrific_ scream, the crackle of electricity...then silence. Utter silence and in the moment of being ripped apart from Voltron Keith hadn't registered just how _wrong_ that was, that it should be _absolutely_ _quiet_ on Shiro's end.

“Where...where is he?” Keith whispered, glancing around the cabin. How could he just be _gone?_

"Where…would he _go?”_

“Keith.”

Keith turned to see the cargo bay, pushing past the other Paladins where they were crowded in the cockpit, perhaps he had gone there? Maybe he _was_ injured and delirious and he had just crawled back there trying to find the exit?

It was empty too.

No. No, _no._

Keith started to panic, “M-Maybe we left him behind. _Did_ we leave him behind? How did he get outside his Lion? Fuck, _did we?_ Oh god. Shiro?” he gasped, darting around the Lion’s desolate insides. _“Shiro?!_ Coran we need to go back-!”

 _“Belay that,_ Coran. Keith! We _can’t_ go back. There's no way to go back now, we'd be flying right into a death trap. It would be suicide!” Allura grasped onto him as he passed her and Keith wrenched himself away from her.

 _“Coran!”_ Keith pleaded, screaming it.

“I'm sorry Keith, I cant-” Coran said through the comms.

“Didn't _anyone_ see him? Was he outside his lion? _Guys!”_

“No.” Pidge said in a small voice, a shimmer of tears in her eyes.

Lance and Hunk shook their heads and Allura wilted.

Keith practically whined as he spun on his heel to stare at the pilot’s seat. “He's...then he's _got_ to be _here_.”

“Keith, he's not here.” Hunk said, fingers brushing his arm.

“Don't touch me! He’s _here!”_ Keith snarled, “ _Shiro!”_

“Keith he's _gone_.”

 _“FUCK!”_ Keith shouted at the dark cockpit, tears welling in his eyes, panic leaving him breathless and gasping for air. “But he said...he s- _said-”_

Keith sank to his knees against the pilot’s seat, bracing both hands against it, staring at the emptiness, as if he could will Shiro back. Wherever in the universe he was.

“We were going to explore the universe together.” he murmured, “We were going to...we _promised.”_

The cruel irony of it. The fact that now that they _finally_ had Zarkon crippled, defeated, maybe even _dead_ , Shiro would just _vanish_.

Allura placed her hand on his shoulder and Keith shied away from the gentle touch, too familiar, too reminiscent of someone now lost to him. He shook his head, biting back a sob.

“Where _is_ he?”

Allura sighed, and Keith didn't see her glance knowingly up at the other Paladins. The answer was obvious, it was _so_ very obvious and Keith was willingly ignorant to it. You could never get him to admit that it was a possibility when there was no proof. _Never in a million years._

“I don't know.” Allura said. “I just don't know.”

Keith buried his face in his hands and wept, shoulders shaking. It was like that for a time, a time that felt like hours and may have even been, and then he pushed off from the seat, so suddenly and violently that Allura fell back.

Keith pushed past his fellow Paladins and stalked out of the Lion. He bent to scoop up his helmet where he had thrown it to the floor outside Black. Ignoring the confused calls of his friends.

“Where are you going?”

“Keith?”

“What's he _doing?”_

Keith broke into a sprint, his helmet crackling with their voices.

_“Keith!”_

_“I'm going to find Shiro.”_ Keith growled as he picked up the pace, running down the corridors as fast as his legs would carry him.

“Oh fuck.”

_Pidge._

“No, no, no, _Keith!”_

_Hunk._

“Someone stop him! Now!”

_Allura._

Keith made it to his bay, Red was ready for him as she always was, and then Keith shrieked as a strong, clawed hand grasped him by the back of the neck, applying strange pressure. Keith yelped and struggled and then everything went black so suddenly he couldn’t have fought it if he tried.

_“Shiro…”_

It was all he could whimper. All he could _think._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I oop-
> 
> I am so sorryyyyy I was so sad writing this but it's canon compliant for the most part so like....༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ  
> I fuckin hate that Keith had to go through this and ughhh but guess what? 
> 
> Next chapter...OOOF I am looking forward to next chapter a lot, gonna explore a lot of shit cause there's so much TIME between s2 and s3 right? Keith's got a lot of shit to work through, the stages of grief y'know? Also a few...interesting elements that I want to add and I sure hope you guys like it or find it interesting too.  
> Also notice how I actually have a chapter count?! YAY! Tho it is an estimate, I figure that's about how many chapters I have left, may go up or down depending but yeah, not too many to go. Though they are long so...there's that ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Come find me on:  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Crazyaniknowit)  
> I did update the first chapter's art too, if you'd like to see it: [Art](https://twitter.com/Crazyaniknowit/status/1124159627824754688?s=20)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **PLEASE READ**  
>  Okay so I added a few tags but heads up.
> 
> T.W.  
> This chapter has a couple things that are on the non-con side, I'll put warning brackets ( ~^~ <\--like so) but yeah. There's nothing so extreme as rape but some heavily dubious consent and kinda non-con shenanigans XD
> 
> (SPOILER)  
> Also, you probably noticed the Keith/Regris tag and I won't lie, that does end up briefly _happening_ , I'll put brackets there too in case you're not really up for that but there is some valuable info in one of the scenes so you might not wanna skip it. 
> 
> Okay, let's go! I'm exhausted so there's probably a shit-ton of typos but whateves ~

Keith shuffled and stretched, groaning with the ache in his muscles that transpired through his entire body. He felt like he'd been hit by a truck. 

But wherever he was, it was warm and it smelled like Shiro. Keith buried his face in his pillow, hand reaching out, tapping around on empty space until he realized he was alone. Keith opened his eyes and sat up. Not the best idea, as he swayed with a wave of dizziness, losing his vision for a moment. He glanced around, taking note of the way the bed had been fashioned in some semblance of a nest. He could scoff, whoever had done it...they obviously didn't know what they were doing. Keith instinctively took to arranging the blankets, making them into his perfect idea of a nest. 

It took him a moment to remember. 

Keith dropped the blanket he was holding, looking around frantically. 

“Shiro?” 

His voice echoed throughout the utterly empty room, weak and timid. 

Keith started to panic, everything was back now, _everything_. 

He threw his covers away and stumbled out of bed, he ran out into the hall, so very dizzy and disoriented but he _had_ to find him. He had to _know._

“Shiro?!” he called again, a hitch in his breath. 

_Please._

_Please no._

Keith spun around at the opening hiss of a door, but Hunk’s face was not the one he was looking for. He gave an aborted whine and turned around again, stumbling against the wall as he took a few steps.

“Woah, woah, buddy.” Hunk’s arms were suddenly around him, and Keith realized belatedly that he had almost fallen flat on his face. “Sorry, we had to sedate you.” 

Keith went still at that, breath coming in short and ice cold, “Hunk-” 

“Come on, Keith, gotta go lay down again.” 

“ _Where_ is Shiro?” Keith rasped. 

Hunk grit his teeth, but did not reply, and Keith bucked wildly at that. Though he was easily restrained by the Yellow Paladin, weak and dizzy as he was, it was no competition at all. 

“Hunk, _please!”_ Keith all but sobbed, _“Where is he?”_

“No one knows.” 

Keith looked down at Pidge as she spoke. She looked like shit, like maybe she hadn't been sleeping. 

“Look, Keith. You need to pull it together.” Pidge said, crossing her arms, “I've been looking into this and scanning entire systems for Shiro's biosignature for a whole week. We're doing all we can. But if you want to help Shiro you _need_ to get a grip and stop trying to fuck off to god knows where and do everything on your own.” 

Keith stared at her for a moment before he sagged in Hunk’s grip, and when that loosened he just let himself fall to his knees, sitting down on the floor and resting his head against the wall. “It's been...a _whole_ week?” 

Pidge sat down across from him and gave a solemn nod. 

Keith shook his head and buried his face in his hands. He sobbed quietly, a hitch or a hiccup every so often, but they must have stayed there for half an hour before anyone spoke again. 

“I started right away.” Pidge murmured, “After they got you under control.” 

Keith traced his fingers over his neck, “Who-” he began, “Someone grabbed me and I just...I don't remember anything after that.” 

“Kolivan.” Pidge said, “You almost ran off with Red. And we sure had to beg her not to kill Kolivan for stopping you.” she added in forced amusement. “Apparently the glands on your neck...when you apply extreme pressure it can make you faint. Not really _supposed_ to do it, but it was kind of an emergency…you weren't listening to us.” 

Keith hunched his shoulders. No wonder they were sore, he mused as he rubbed over the rounded bumps on his neck, swollen with trauma and a little oily with his distress. 

“After that you woke up in the med bay like a day later a bit crazy.” she held up her arm and Keith stared in shock at the long scratches that seemed on their way to healed. 

“I did that?” he asked in horror, “Are you _okay?”_

Pidge shrugged, “Yeah, don't worry, it won't scar or anything. You were pretty out of it, all Galra-ish with claws and sharp teeth and shit. That's when Coran sedated you.” she said. “We kept you under for a bit, just took you off last night but you had to sleep it off I guess.” 

Keith nodded, wiping at his wet eyes, “Do you have _any_ idea what happened to Shiro?” he rasped. 

Pidge sighed, and Keith glanced over at Hunk as he sat down beside her, looking just as pensive and solemn. 

“Not really, no. Allura hasn't been able to start Black up again, not even to get her data from the fight.” Hunk said, “So that's _one_ roadblock.” 

“The other is that the Galra are still occupying the battlefield, as if they expect us to come back.” Pidge said, “So without Voltron we can't go searching, but _that's_ impossible, as you know.” she cleared her throat, voice having gone hoarse, “I...think if he was still there then they would have found him by now and...I don't know what they would do to him.” 

“Allura’s doing her part too, her space magic really helps sweep wide range, but...we've swept _so_ _many_ systems within the vicinity of the battle. It's hard to say whether he's still-”

Pidge placed a hand on Hunk to interrupt him before he could say it, giving him a dire look. 

Keith closed his eyes in a deep, shuddering sigh.

Whether he's still _alive_. That's what he was going to say. 

“He is.” Keith said. 

Hunk and Pidge remained quiet. 

“He _is_ alive. People don’t just vanish like that. _Something_ happened and I'm going to find him. I don't care what it takes.” Keith got to his feet, wobbling and rubbing his hand over his eyes. Pidge and Hunk had frowns on their faces when he looked down at them, like they didn't believe that, like they were _already_ giving up. Keith grit his teeth, clutching his shirt over his heart where it ached so very much. “I _promised_ him I'd never give up on him.” he said, “I intend to keep that promise.”

* * *

 

It was a couple days later that Keith finally got cleared to take Red and scan some systems manually, on the condition that he have an escort. Not that _that_ particularly mattered, Keith was over his craze, (a little more) logical amidst his sadness. The Galra still occupied the battlefield, though the outposts across the universe had gone weak, unassisted when attacked, so rumor had it Zarkon was actually dead. _Good fucking riddance,_ Keith would say if you asked him. 

The search was quiet. Lance was his escort because frankly he was the only one who didn't have points in the engineering or science department and he was bored as shit. And he had volunteered so eagerly Keith was tempted to ask where the real Lance had gone. 

But that meant a mutual agreement not to talk, otherwise something would set Keith off or something would set Lance off without anyone to mitigate their tense banter. 

So they traveled and scoured the system in silence. 

They had been searching for two hours when Keith pulled Red up short on an asteroid and rested his head in his hands. He'd woken with a headache that morning, and even in his suit he was sweating. He knew exactly what it was, but he had thought it was more his preheat rather than his _actual_ heat starting up. He was starting to realize that assumption was wrong. 

Keith groaned and went to wrap his arms around his belly, panting sharply at the cramping pain, the aching need that was starting to creep up on him. 

“Dude, what's going on?” 

Keith looked up to see Blue hovering in space just above him. 

Keith could only whimper and screw his eyes shut. He remembered how it was the first time Shiro had vanished. Like his heats _knew_ his mate wasn't around, like the stress made it painful. Seemed that was a recurring scenario. It was _not_ this bad after Shiro came back, the first heat he spent with him. 

“Keith?” 

“I...think I need to go back.” Keith panted, moving to press his hand to his forehead and then remembering his helmet was blocking the way. 

“Are you sick or something?” Lance asked, and Keith pulled up the viewscreen. 

“What do you _think?”_ he asked, and Lance grimaced at the sight of him. 

“Yeah you look like shit.” 

Keith managed a wheezing laugh, “From _you_ …that's a compliment.” he snarked, wrapping ginger hands around his controls and guiding Red to take off from the asteroid. “Can you...get a wormhole, please? I- _ah!”_ Keith doubled over and gasped, barely restraining a cry. 

“Well _shit-_ A-Allura? Need a wormhole, asap!” 

From there it was a mild blur. He was coherent enough to follow and land, and he was rather sure he was well enough to make it to the bedroom. 

“Dude, are you okay?!” Lance called through the helmet. 

“ _Fine_.” Keith rasped. 

“What's going on?” 

Keith groaned and tossed his helmet to the side as he stepped out of Red, or limped, rather. He didn't feel like explaining his heat right now. 

He made his way down the hall, headed toward Shiro’s room. Though staring at his own feet as he frantically shuffled along wasn't the best idea, he would soon find, as he ran into someone. 

Keith stumbled back and then he whined as he fell to the floor, unable to support himself any longer, it seemed. 

Well...those were Galra feet. 

Keith glanced up and found Regris staring down at him in concern, nose twitching as he scented the air violently. 

 _Wow_.

So that was an alpha...they smelled very... _different_. 

He was supposed to be doing something, he had some sort of goal...right? 

Right. He was supposed to be going to a room, “Ah...I'm fine.” Keith panted, “Really...really I’m fine.” 

Regris exhaled shakily, pupils blown so wide he looked like a fucking cat. 

“Just going to my...room.” Keith let his head thump against the wall, eyes fluttering with his sudden exhaustion. 

Keith startled as Regris suddenly knelt down, hand tentatively reaching for him. 

 _Wait_. 

Keith yelped and he did the only thing he could think of when the Galra drew him into his arms: he _panicked_. Regris gasped as Keith grabbed onto his arm and bit down hard, not letting go even when his mouth filled with hot blood. 

When the alpha didn't release him Keith struggled and hissed at him, growling, “Let _go!”_

“I'm taking you to the med bay.” Regris rumbled, walking down the hall despite the fact that Keith was a writhing, kicking, biting ball of teeth in his arms. He grunted when Keith clawed at him, but he didn't flinch, didn't stop until he was laying Keith on a cot and Coran was suddenly there. 

Keith went still at that, and then he remembered his aching need underneath the adrenaline and fear. He curled up into a ball and panted through the severe cramps. 

“-like me to take a look at that?” 

“Take care of the Paladin first, it's only a bite or two.” 

“Keith? Keith, my boy.” Coran was saying, and Keith glanced up at him through bleary eyes. “I'm going to switch you into a med suit, alright? Then we’ll stick you in a pod and you'll wake up and it'll all be over, yeah?” 

Keith whimpered, allowing the man to take his armor off bit by bit, to sit him up and peel his suit away. He didn't exactly know what was going on, dizzy with oncoming delirium and just grateful for the lack of clothing on his skin.

Keith glanced over his shoulder when he heard Regris’s breath go ragged. The Galra hadn't taken his eyes off of him, but he stood a fair distance away. Keith looked down, scenting the air, and he went a little dizzy again when he noticed that the alpha was _definitely_ aroused, both in scent and body. Something in him swelled with pride in delight, telling him that was _exactly_ what he was looking for. Keith made a little trilling noise, a call, that had Regris stiffening, flushing purple even as he took a step forward. 

“Oh quiznack- Keith, _no_.” Coran said, restraining Keith with hands on his shoulders when he tried to scramble to his feet, “He's going to jump you if you stay here, do you mind waiting outside?” 

Regris stopped in his tracks and nodded, flustered as he spun on his heel and went to the door, casting a look over his shoulder just before he left with an agitated flick of his tail. 

Keith was alarmed at that. Did the alpha reject him? 

Coran soothed Keith with a gentle scratch against his scalp. “A little feral this time, aren't you, Keith?” he wondered, pulling the med suit into place and turning Keith so he could zip it up the back. “Come on. Let's get this over with.” 

Keith followed along in a confused daze, leaning heavily against him for support, pain coupled with the need to be filled and sated and Keith looked over his shoulder at the door longingly up until the last moment he was awake, sealed into a pod and awaiting his heat to end. 

* * *

 

Keith stumbled as he exited the pod, headache pounding like a heartbeat in his skull and his body aching after having been still for so long. He stank of his heat, of slick and need and sweat, he could smell it on himself. Keith shuddered and looked around the med bay, finding Coran and Pidge waiting for him. 

“Hey, Keith.” Coran said, approaching him with a firm hand on his sternum to steady him, “How are you feeling?” 

Keith went to sit on the steps of the pods and rubbed his fingers into his temples, “Awful.” he mumbled. 

“Same sedative in the pods, sorry about that.” Pidge said. 

Keith shook his head, “I thought my heat wouldn't be here for a couple more weeks.” he sighed. 

“Change and stress can affect your body’s schedule, and it's only roughly six phoebes, it can be more or less.” Coran explained. 

“I know. It's happened before.” Keith said. “Just wouldn't have taken Red if I knew it would start. Did…” Keith sat up straight in alarm, “Did Regris bring me here?” 

Coran gave a nod, “Ah...yes. He did.” 

Keith bit his lip, remembering how flustered and needy the alpha had looked, shame roiling low in his gut over how he remembered _wanting._  

“Oh.” he gulped, “Is he okay? I...think I _bit him.”_

Pidge snorted and Keith cast a grumble her way. 

“He's fine.” Coran assured. “Drink this here.” 

Keith took the cup of what looked like grey sludge...smelled worse, and took a tentative sip with a grimace. Coran gave a nod of approval and Keith took another sip despite how awful it tasted. He heaved a deep sigh and looked up at Pidge, “Anything yet?” 

She wilted immediately, and if Keith didn't know any better he would say she was caught off guard by the question. “Ah...no. No, nothing yet.” 

Keith nodded. He expected as much, but he had still _hoped_ …

“Can I take Red out again?” he asked. 

Coran shook his head, “I would recommend a few day’s rest-” 

“You'd _recommend_. I don't _have_ to take the days?” Keith clarified, and Coran stared at him in shock. With no refuting, however, Keith took that as a yes. He stood up, despite how wobbly and dazed he was, “Thank you.” he said as he handed Coran the cup, “For helping me with my heat.” 

“Keith, I would feel much better if you didn't.” Coran said, pleading. 

“And _I_ would feel much better if we found Shiro.” Keith snarked as he strode out of the med bay. 

“Keith!” 

Keith ignored it, walking to his room and stripping the suit away, grimacing at the buildup of unmentionable fluids. Apparently being in a pod _didn't_ stop the incessant flow of slick. 

Keith turned the tap and stepped into the shower, standing under the warm spray with his eyes closed. His face crumpled after mere moments of holding his composure and he pressed his hand to his lips, choking on the sob in his throat. God. Just _two weeks_ ago he and Shiro had been in this same shower, Shiro had playfully pointed strands of Keith's hair into a mohawk with the shampoo, and Keith had shook his head with a giggle as Shiro kissed the tip of his nose. 

Keith slammed his fist into the wall, sniffling and hiccuping as he sat down under the spray. 

It was like the universe had made Keith's life a fucking joke to be played over and over and _over_ again. Give him someone to love only to take them away. Then give him hope that it wouldn't happen again only to laugh in his face. 

Fool him once, shame on them. Fool him _twice_...

Keith was tired of it. 

He was _tired_ of this happening to him. He was going to find Shiro. He was going to prove _everyone_ wrong, he wasn't going to lose him forever, he was getting him back. He was throwing a great big middle finger in the universe’s face. 

“I'll find you Shiro.” Keith whispered, hugging his knees to his chest as he sank to the floor. “I'll _always_ find you.”

* * *

 

He ate before heading to his Lion. 

On the way he ran into Antok and Regris. Not literally, mind you, he was walking sensibly this time and keeping an eye on where he was going. Lesson learned.

The smaller of the alphas stiffened, and Antok raised a brow as he glanced between the both of them. 

Keith cleared his throat, giving a sheepish nod to Regris, watched him blush despite his stoic exterior. “Sorry for biting you.” Keith murmured, straight to the point, no beating around the awkward bush. 

Regris hunched his shoulders and Antok bit his lip, obviously trying not to smile. 

“It's fine.” Regris said with a polite nod of his own. “You were... _compromised_ and frightened. I would do the same.” 

Keith scuffed the toe of his boot against the floor, “And…” he said, gulping as he glanced up at Antok pointedly. The Galra stared back, and Keith scowled before he seemed to pick up the hint and left with a snort. Keith stepped closer to Regris and heaved a sigh, “I wanted to thank you.” 

Regris blinked down at him. 

“I know...I heard it's difficult for alpha’s...around an omega in heat. It's why I was scared when you picked me up. Thank you for taking me to the med bay.” 

Regris’s ear twitched, a frown on his lips, “Alphas aren't completely _mindless_ around omegas in heat.” he said. 

Keith winced at his apparent offense. It had probably come across like that, hadn't it? 

“I...ah-no. I just meant-” Keith fumbled, “I just mean...nevermind.” he flushed and turned to the side, brushing his hair away from his face anxiously. 

Regris hummed and Keith looked up at him again, “It's obvious you didn't mean to offend. And you can't be blamed for ignorance, in any case.” he said with a semblance of a smile. “I'm glad I could assist you.” he said, and then he blushed again, “In a professional way.” 

Keith ducked his head, “I'll see you around, then.” 

“Indeed you will.” Regris said, “Kolivan wishes us to remain stationed on the castle, easier to coordinate with the Paladins.” 

Keith bit his lip, “Oh...all of the Blades?” 

“Only a handful of us for the time being. Ulaz, Antok, me, Iliun and Vek.” 

Keith nodded, “I see.” 

“You…” Regris glanced down at his armor, “You are searching for the Black Paladin?” 

Keith shifted and crossed his arms.

“Would you like assistance?” 

Keith shook his head, “Not this time. Thank you.” he whispered. 

“Of course.” 

Keith glanced over his shoulder as the alpha walked away. He wasn't blind, he knew Regris was attracted to him. A lot of the alphas he had met seemed either flustered or downright hungry when they scented him, hell some had made direct advances that Keith had to hiss and growl at to get his point across. Though from what Ulaz had said it probably wasn't blatantly obvious to any of the Blades that Keith and Shiro were romantic. But Regris had proven himself at least trustworthy, withholding whatever desires he obviously had in favor of being chivalrous. 

Still, _not_ gonna happen. 

Keith shook his head and continued on his way.

* * *

 

“How are you holding up?” 

Keith looked over his shoulder from where he was sitting on the observation deck. This was Shiro's favorite place. If Keith couldn't find him he always knew to turn here because Shiro loved the stars and the peace that came with the deck. Almost no one else used it aside from him. But he would sit here for hours and just watch the stars, the galaxies, and the nebula go by. Watching him was one of Keith's favorite pastimes. As it was, he would watch the stars _for_ him while he couldn't. 

“I'm as good as I can be, I guess.” Keith mumbled as Allura came to sit beside him. 

She placed her hand on his arm and Keith closed his eyes, unable to appreciate the physical contact when it was so familiar in such a bittersweet way. “I know you _already_ know what it's like to lose someone you care about.” Allura said, “I know we’ve both lost parents and we've bonded over that.” 

Keith nodded.

“I've never...loved someone quite the way I see that you and Shiro love each other.” she continued, “So I can't say I relate, but you know I _understand_. And...I'm here for you. We _all_ are, Keith.” 

Keith gave another nod, the slightest acknowledgement he could, preoccupied with staring out at the cosmos and wondering where Shiro was. Too distracted with the notion of finding him to appreciate the fact that his friends were trying to make him feel better. But the truth was he didn't _want_ to feel better. 

“Thanks.” Keith murmured absently. 

Allura sighed and leaned back, “Keith…”

Keith _might_ have growled at her, he knew exactly what was coming up. It was what everyone insinuated at some point. 

Allura tutted at him, unimpressed by the display, “You know I’m going to support you as long as I need to, but you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that Shiro…may actually be dead.” 

Keith glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, lip curling in a barely restrained snarl.

“Keith. Saying that doesn’t make it true, and it does _not_ mean I _want_ it to be the case.” Allura said sternly, “Do not assume that of me. I want _you_ not to get hurt any more than you must. I don’t want this to break you.”

“I’m already fucking _broken_.” Keith rasped, “As if the first time he vanished wasn’t enough.” 

Allura lapsed into startled silence.

Even if Shiro _was_ dead...even if he knew that for a _fact_ , he would have a time of it letting what they had _go_. 

If he _ever_ did. 

“I know...I know that he _could_ be...but I am not going to believe it until I have proof. I won’t let this go.” he wrenched his gaze down from the stars and stared down at his own lap. “I _can’t_.” 

He glanced over at her with dire determination, “No one can _make_ me.” 

Allura stared back, studying him, and then she sighed as she stood, “I'm not trying to make you. I just want you to be prepared.” she said before she walked out of the deck.

* * *

 

One could only go so long searching before they started to feel disheartened, Keith supposed. It had been a month and two weeks and Shiro was nowhere to be found. Not a sighting, not a whisper. It was like he had vanished off the face of the _universe_. 

Keith pulled his knees up to his chest as he leaned against the Black Lion.

“I don't know what else to try.” he said, “Did you talk to him? Or...you showed him what he needed to do, didn't you?” he wondered, reaching a hand out to stroke over her muzzle, “Do...do you know what happened?” 

He waited, waited for something. For her to move, to growl or for her to show him a vision, _anything_. 

She was silent as the grave. 

“ _Please_.” Keith rasped, resting his forehead against her, “I need to know. I miss him.” his breath hitched and he rubbed his fingers into his eyes to wipe the wetness away, “I love him _so_ much.” 

At her continued silence he thumped his forehead against the metal of her muzzle and wept quietly. 

...he couldn't have known of the way his voice echoed in the astral plane, of the way the man he loved watched him helplessly.

* * *

 

Keith hunched his shoulders as the door to the observation deck slid open. “I'm not in the mood.” he said in a sigh. 

“My apologies. I didn't realize you were here.” 

Keith glanced up in surprise at Regris’s voice. 

“Oh!” he lifted his head and let his legs down from where he had propped his chin upon them. “Regris...I thought you were someone else.” 

Regris smiled sheepishly and went to sit on the lounge couch across the room, as far from Keith as he could. Keith raised a brow at that, “What are you doing over there?”

Regris glanced over, “Sitting.” 

Keith couldn't help but breathe a surprised laugh at that, “ _Way_ over there?” 

Regris tilted his head, “I was...electing to give you space. I come here sometimes, but I don't wish to disturb you.” 

Keith hummed and turned back to the stars, “I don't mind the space, but you don't have to sit _that_ far away.” 

Regris didn't make a move, and Keith glanced at him in his periphery, a slight smile on his lips, “Are you _afraid_ of me?” he asked curiously. 

Regris twitched, and Keith bit his lip, amused. 

“It was only a little bite.” he said. 

Regris smiled at that, looking down with his ears pinned back a ways, “It’s more that I touched you during your heat.” 

Keith pursed his lips in confusion at that, “Oh? What's that got to do with it?” 

Regris cleared his throat, “Embarrassment.” he said rather cryptically. 

Keith scoffed and turned his gaze back to the stars, “ _'m_ the one who should be embarrassed. I _bit_ you.” he said matter of factly. 

Regris hummed, and they delved into silence. 

Keith sighed, “Why the Blades?” he wondered.

Regris was quiet for a few moments more, “Why did I join them?” 

Keith nodded, “I know _why_ , as a whole, the Blades exist, but what's _your_ reason?” 

Regris crossed his arms and looked Keith's way, “It's personal.” 

Keith glanced over in surprise, “Oh.” he said lamely, and Regris just turned his gaze back to the stars. 

“Maybe someday I'll tell you.” Regris added, and Keith hummed in acknowledgment. 

“Maybe.” Keith murmured, “Sorry to pry.” 

“It's okay.” Regris said, “You're allowed to ask questions." 

“Yeah?” Keith smiled, “Can I ask if you and Antok are brothers?” 

Regris chuckled, “What gave us away?” he gestured to his tail. 

“It's more in your faces.” 

Regris offered him a thoughtful smile, and Keith looked away. 

It was easy. 

It was far too easy to talk to him. 

Keith inhaled sharply, “I'm going to go to the training deck.” he pushed himself off the lounge, making himself scarce. He didn't necessarily _like_ how easy it was to make conversation with the Blade. How comfortable it was. 

So comfortable it made him _uncomfortable_.

* * *

 

“I would rather look for Shiro.” 

“Please, we're just asking that you take a quintent or two off. This is _important_ , Keith. We can't have _everyone_ here but we need to show that Voltron can still act as a singular force. We _need_ Red to be there.” 

Keith crossed his arms, gulping over the lump in his throat. They'd been arguing over this for hours now. But they just didn't get it! Two days spent on this fanciful parade were two whole days he _could_ be searching for Shiro. It was more than frustrating, it made him want to _cry_. What if Shiro was in just the right place to be found and Keith missed that opportunity because he was parading his Lion around to impress some civilization and convince them to join the coalition? 

Sure, he knew this was important too, but the _what-if’s_ were weighing so heavily on his mind it physically pained him to give in. He didn't really have a choice, in any case, Allura could just bar his Lion from leaving the castle if she wished. The fact that she was asking him at all was likely a courtesy.

“Alright.” he murmured. 

Allura relaxed, the firm set of her shoulders finally slumping as she smiled wearily. “Thank you, Keith.” she sighed, “I promise I'll still perform sweeps both days we are planetside.” she approached Keith and laid a hand on his shoulder where he was scowling at the floor, “We’ll find him someday.” 

Keith nodded glumly, turning to go back to his room. 

The scent was fading. 

Keith sat down on the bed they had shared, stared at the rumpled sheets, blankets and pillows. The ones he buried his face in every night to shed tears over the absence of his friend. His lover. His _mate_. 

He missed Shiro _so much,_ and his scent was _fading_. He had been gone so long Keith couldn't take comfort in curling up in bed anymore. Only a couple months and already the sweet, nostalgic scent of wet earth was seeping out of every surface, as if Shiro never existed in the first place. It was harrowing. It was an eerie mirror of the hope in his chest, slowly drained away until Keith was terrified he might actually lose it all. 

Keith opened the drawer beneath the bed and pulled out the vest he had loaned to Shiro. The one that belonged to his father. 

Keith thumbed over the fabric, stiff but worn soft with age and use. He shed his jacket and pulled the vest over his shoulders instead, curling into a ball in the middle of the mattress and taking a deep gulp of the smell of Shiro, the faint scent of his father long gone. He fell asleep like that. To dreams of touch he missed so dearly, only to wake and find they were just that, only dreams. 

* * *

The people of Kr’e were tall, bipedal, and looked like raccoons. They almost felt familiar in another way Keith couldn't place. They reminded him of the Galra, that was for sure, if the Galra were exceptionally more animalistic. 

Keith kept to his own after displaying his Lion like some kind of zoo animal, and then he let the princess make introductions. He kept his arms crossed, stayed off to the side, and he hunched his shoulders when a gesture of hands and “Keith, the Red Paladin of Voltron.” was thrown his way. 

One of the creatures approached him, and Keith glanced up to see them twitch their nose and raise a brow, “We didn't know one of the Paladins was a Galra.” they said absently, glancing over at the other Paladins in mild distrust. 

“ _Half_ -Galra.” Keith muttered. 

The creature hummed, “Fascinating.” and then they were gone, leaving Keith to wonder why it suddenly felt like he was the center of attention and why everyone seemed to be whispering as they looked his way. 

“It's curiosity. Mostly. It's not common knowledge to most that some Galra are good. That's all, Keith.” Coran assured as Keith helped him unload supplies. 

“I guess.” Keith said, placing a heavy crate down with a grunt. “They don't need to stare so much, is all I think. There's plenty more than me to gawk at.” 

Coran acquiesced with a hum, and that was the end of it. 

Or so Keith thought.

* * *

 

Something felt...off. Wrong.

Keith leaned his head against his palm and exhaled a weary sigh, eyelids so heavy he could scarcely glance around the room and wonder why everything was spinning. He'd felt like this since the banquet started, seated on his pillow and drinking the water provided, eating the food. He didn't touch the alcohol. He wasn't looking to get tipsy, as his fellow Paladins were doing. Pidge especially, but she was young and back on Earth she wouldn't be allowed so he figured she deserved to have fun. Or to learn that four glasses of alien wine might leave her sick, at best hungover in the morning. Whichever. 

Keith gasped as he nearly dropped his head to the table. He jerked and sat up straight, he seriously almost fell asleep. He rubbed at his eyes and stood, wobbling and clearing his throat when Allura looked up at him curiously. 

“I’m tired.” he rasped, turning on his heel to exit the room and stumble against the hallway wall. 

“Fuck.” 

Keith shook his head and stared down at his feet, willing them to move only to trip and find himself pushing himself up from the floor. “What...what th’fuck?” he slurred, barely able to sit and look around dizzily. 

He was vaguely aware of shapes surrounding him, and he squinted up at them, the presence of mind to swat blindly at their grasping hands only just enough that he put up a mild fight. Though soon he couldn't move at all, and he slipped off to black sleep watching the floor tilt and shift beneath him.

Keith gasped and rolled over, clutching at his stomach as it cramped and his head as it throbbed. 

“He's awake.” 

Keith peeked an eye open only to whimper and squeeze it shut at the blinding, painful brightness around him. Though it wasn't even _that_ bright in the room. 

“Where-?” 

He coughed and took a deep, ragged breath, “Where’m’I?” he managed, raising a wavering hand up to his eyes to shield them from the simple strips of blue light in the room. 

There was no answer, only some of the Kr’e hovering about him. They muttered to one another too quietly for him to hear, maybe even in another language, and he made to sit up only for a sharp prod of pain in his back to halt him. 

“Be still, Galra.” 

Keith glanced up at them in shock, the realization sinking in as to why he was here. 

“Of course.” he groaned to himself, though it was more of a rasp. 

Well, they couldn't keep him here for long, depending on how long he'd been asleep the others would come looking and find him gone. 

It was almost laughable, maybe he shouldn't go on these missions after all if people were going to start _kidnapping_ him because he _happened_ to be Galra. 

Keith hissed as they stuck a needle in his arm, and then that blackness was shrouding his vision again, dragging him under against his will. 

* * *

 

He woke again curled in a small space, barely enough room for his limbs even pulled up to his chest. He looked to the side to see metal grates, the stars flying by in a flurry as wherever he was sped through the cosmos. 

_What?_

Keith sat up, bumping his head and grumbling as he hunched over. “Hey!” he shouted, and then he cringed at how loud his own voice was in his ears. 

“Fuck.” he rasped, running at his temples. 

A metal rod poked through the bars and Keith hissed as it jabbed his leg, shocking him so briefly it could only make him gasp and recoil. 

“No talking.” the large alien rumbled, not one of the Kr’e. 

Keith gulped, “Where am I?” 

The alien only shocked him again, and Keith bit back a cry, having expected it this time. And this time he pressed his lips into a thin line, directing a scowl the reptilian alien’s way.  

Great. 

Just great. So he wasn't on Kr’e anymore, and obviously he'd been moved quickly enough that no one noticed his absence in time. God, he was off-planet already. 

Keith frowned, reaching out with eyes closed to call Red. She could cover pretty vast distances, couldn't she? 

Keith curled his hands into fists, his thoughts too haphazard and fuzzy to just focus and summon her. 

“Come on, girl. I could really use your help.” he whispered. 

There was no indication that she heard him, but that could be attributed to his distance and the way he swayed in place with the dizziness in his head. Keith sighed and lay back down, squirming with how uncomfortable he was. Well… the others would find him soon enough.

* * *

“A million credits?!” 

Keith cringed at the shrill voice of some tall, opaque alien with four arms that threw all of them up in the air. 

“You told us you would sell it for _five-hundred thousand!_ It doesn't even look like a Galra! This is a double-crossing!” 

The burly alien who held Keith by the chain around his neck, which was indeed choking him, shook his head. “I told you it was five hundred to fetch him, five hundred to purchase, he's not full-blooded, but he's Galra. Otherwise you’d be paying one and a half million.” he rumbled. 

The alien and her companion were exasperated, muttering amongst themselves and glancing over at Keith every so often. 

Keith himself was clutching tightly at the chain on his neck, pulling it away from his airway as much as was possible. He wasn't counting on being _sold_. He knew he'd been taken prisoner, sure, thought maybe he’d be killed, but this wasn't among his expectations. The main question he had was: _why?_

Keith gasped as the alien holding him jerked him forward and handed his lead to the ethereal alien. Payment was given, and Keith looked over his shoulder as the man left him there.

So this was a thing...that was happening. 

Keith was so confused. He glanced up at his captors and startled back as the female took his chin in hand and turned his head from side to side. She had to lean down to inspect him. He had a right mind to hiss at her, and might have done so if not for the conversation.

“A rather tiny specimen, isn't it?” she said. 

“Omegas are smaller than most Galra.” her companion supplied. 

Keith turned wide eyes toward him, lips parting in surprise. “How did you know I'm-” 

A sharp slap had his head jerking to the side, and Keith could only stare at the floor in shock, surprise. He hadn't expected that. 

“Do not speak to the Queen unless spoken to, Galra.” 

Keith exhaled a breathy noise of indignance. 

“In any case, I should hope it's not defective.  Seems scrawny.” apparently the queen continued. 

Keith turned furious eyes her way, lips tightly closed while his righteous anger raged behind them. He wasn't stupid, though. He knew it would be better to go without riling whoever these fucking pricks were, he just needed to observe, find a way out of this. He needed to be patient...to _focus_. 

Keith’s heart jumped at the bittersweet thought. 

“An omega is an omega. Their general should leave us alone once he sees it.” the man said. 

“I should hope so. Cost us a million damn credits.” 

Keith was tugged along after she handed him to her companion, lead down a corridor and into a dank little cell. He tried to remember the hallways, but he felt like he'd gone in circles. 

He was positioned before a bench in his cell, and then hands went to pull his pants down and he snarled at that, swirling around with bared teeth and snapping at a slender hand. He managed to catch skin, not enough to break it, but surely enough to pinch. That earned him being pushed down into the bench, skull colliding with the hard surface and his hands restrained as the alien went about his task. 

“Get off me! What are you doing?” Keith snapped, kicking his feet. The alien may have had four arms, but all were occupied with his own arms and removing his clothes. 

 

 

 

~^~

Keith startled and gasped as he twitched away when something slim touched him, penetrated, searching. His eyes were wide, body gone still and stiff in shock, and then he hissed and turned a feral, wild look over his shoulder as the alien’s gloved finger retreated, having pressed until it elicited pain from inside him. 

“Definitely an omega.” he said with a satisfied nod, clinical in removing a glove from his hand and stepping out of the room. . 

Keith slipped behind the bench, the sole furniture in the middle of his cell, and stared with wide eyes at the clear door as the alien left him there. He first quivered from the cold, and then from the violation as it finally caught up with him. Keith crossed his shaking arms over his chest and gulped, trying to ignore the fact that the alien had left him bare. It was hard not to pine for his clothing with the temperature, but it was more so from the lack of dignity that he yearned for them back. 

“What the fuck?” he rasped, closing his eyes and shaking his head, “What the actual fuck?” 

He took a moment for himself, a moment to chant “I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay.” until he felt slightly better. 

Keith exhaled a ragged sigh and looked around the cell, mapping his surroundings and searching for any sign of weakness in the structure, the door. He glared at the camera he easily spotted in one corner. 

Only one corner, huh? He wondered just how much of his cell it could see. Probably all of it if they only had one. 

Still, maybe there were blind spots. He'd look into it later, maybe if they gave him some clothes. At the very least some pants. He really didn't have to take his pants, it was utterly unnecessary. Maybe purposeful, though, they called Keith an ‘it’ rather than referring to him as a person. Maybe they didn't think he deserved clothes. 

Pricks. 

Keith turned in place, got to his knees, and shuffled over to the wall where he spotted a groove, and finding a button revealed a thin cot with an even thinner blanket. 

That would do, at the very least. Keith tugged the cloth away and tucked it around his hips, heaving another sigh and flopping onto the cot with a groan. He glanced up at the camera, eyes hooded with exhaustion, and flipped the shiny device off with a sneer.

He could probably add the label of perverts to the list, leaving him in here naked like this. But then, it had been all too clinical. 

Keith huffed and closed his eyes. Whatever sedative the Kr'e had used on him was still making him nauseous and tired, so he drifted off to sleep without much preamble.

* * *

He stayed there for a while. Enough that he slept for three consecutive times, and since there was no telling time he could only assume that _maybe_ three days passed. 

He was fed once a day, rationed portions of food goo. Apparently that was a universal staple. 

Keith didn't trust it. He knew whoever these guys were, they wanted him alive, otherwise they wouldn't have spent so much on...purchasing him. But he was nervous to try the food, maybe something about the smell, the way his hackles rose each time he glanced over at the bowl, any way he sliced it he could only assume danger. 

The door finally slid open on that third day, and Keith jumped where he was curled up on his cot, mostly waiting, missing Shiro, angry that he had given in to Allura’s pleas and he was stuck here for heaven knows how long when he could have been searching. He could have been _searching_. 

Keith turned a growl over his shoulder, not in any position to fight, what with having gone three days and however many he was in that man’s ship without eating. Regardless, Keith swung when hands grabbed at him, maybe that was stupid, fighting sluggishly against a four-armed creature. 

Keith was once again restrained against the bench, and he grit his teeth at the way his arms strained at the sockets. 

“No.” a voice said, “We need it alert.” 

Keith couldn't see what had been stopped, but he struggled and kicked, snarling an obscenity and looking over his shoulder with absolute fury. 

“Prepare it.” 

Keith hissed at the sting of a needle, and then he was pulled up and manhandled into a sit. 

“Why hasn't it been eating?” 

Keith turned his snarl upwards. 

“Willful obstinance. That is all I can gather.” 

“ _Fuck you._ ” Keith spat, and the aliens turned haughty glances of absolute indifference down at him.

“In any case, it can't do anything against an injection.” the alien grasped him by the chin, “Smart one, to avoid the food, but you only weaken yourself. And in the end, fruitless to have resisted.” they taunted, and Keith growled even as his skin started to heat with a flush. 

“What did you _do?_ ” Keith asked, dizziness making him sway in place.

The aliens ignored him, turning on their heels to exit the cell. 

Keith’s breath went fast and heavy quicker than he could even register the change, and he had to plant a hand on the bench to steady himself. It was familiar, so _abrupt…_

“ _No_.” Keith shook his head, “No, no, no.” 

He was going into _heat_. 

Again.

“Fuck.” 

Keith scrambled from the bench, stumbling over to the door, frantic. He slammed a fist into the solid surface and scoffed an incredulous laugh, “The fuck? What the _fuck?!”_ he shouted, “What are you guys _doing_ to me?!” he slumped against the wall, unable to keep ignoring the ache in his belly, sharp, stabbing, unlike any he’d felt before. He whimpered and closed his eyes, a hand gone to clutch at his neck where his glands were already swelling and aching. 

Keith groaned and clenched both fists, wheezing over the pain in his abdomen. 

“You're…not getting a damn spectacle out of me!” he called, thumping his forehead against the cold metal of the wall. “Perverted...pompous fucks.” he rasped. It was all he could do to stay awake, he felt like he was going to faint. 

Oh shit maybe he _was_ fainting. 

Keith woke up on his cot, and he struggled to sit up, limbs sluggish, blood pulsing rather irritatingly between his legs. But that was easy to ignore, someone touched him while he was out, and he was bristling over the fact. The scent was filthy, everything about this place was horribly filthy. It stank of danger and he didn't have a nest, he didn't have his _mate_. Keith let out a pitiful whine and curled up against the wall, hand gone between his legs to apply pressure, a little relief. And then he lay there, waiting through the pain. 

Minutes...hours...days could have gone by and it just never faded. No matter how many times he fell asleep. 

It was downright torturous. At some point he lost all sense of pride or modesty and tried to take care of his problem. 

It only made it worse. 

 

 

 

~^~

* * *

It was laughable, really, that they thought they could get away with it. Keith was the _Red Paladin_. He was her _friend_ , and they thought they could kidnap him, sell him, and still keep the support of the coalition. 

Allura was furious, to say the least. The Kr’e had been rather shocked to see their outrage, as if they thought they were _helping_. Doing them some sort of sick favor. Allura had quickly shot down all hopes of an alliance, declared the Kr'e independent and vowed not to help them. 

That sure set the planet against Voltron, but what did they expect? Relief? Gratitude? To say they were conceited was an understatement. 

Now was the hard part, finding Keith. He was off-planet by the time anyone had sought to question his lengthy absence. And the Kr'e were not about to give them any helpful information, so Pidge was working on hacking into their database. But that was the worst of it, she supposed, the Kr'e were rather fantastic when it came to their technology, it was a part of why they wanted them in the coalition. Needless to say, it was slow goings. Keith was missing for four quintents now. 

The Red Lion was restless, shifting about in her dock, but never breaking out. She was smart, after all, she knew she needed more than her own instincts to save Keith. 

That's where Allura was now, resting her head against the great being’s paw.

“I miss him too, he's a good friend.” she murmured, glancing up at the Lion where she stared at the wall. “We’ll find him.” Allura sighed, placing her hand against the cool metal, closing her eyes. 

She had been theorizing, maybe she could search using the Lion’s essence. After all, each Lion was attuned with their pilot. This didn't work with Black, but she was offline, her essence hidden away where even someone with Allura’s skill couldn't find it. 

Red was more than online, she was antsy and bursting with energy, nervous, angry, distraught. She missed her pilot dearly. Perhaps this time it could work. 

“You know where to find him.” Allura said, searching out the Lion’s energies, its consciousness. “You can help.” 

It wasn't so clear as she anticipated. But there was a faint sense of Keith's lifeforce. 

Very faint. 

That was worrisome. 

But at least she had a vague idea of where to start looking. Not that there was a way of narrowing it down. Direction in space was problematic at best. 

Allura stood, stroked her hand over the magnificent beast her father had created, and cast a smile its way. “Don't worry.” she said, “Keith's a fighter...he'll be alright.” 

She turned on her heel and walked to the tech bay, where Pidge was working day and night, growling under her breath in frustration every so often. 

“Anything?” Allura wondered. 

Pidge huffed, “Hunk’s been searching the emission frequencies for any messages that might be encoded and I've been throwing metaphoric _boulders_ at this firewall for ten hours!” she tossed her hands up, irritation barely concealed as her head rolled back, “Where's an Olkari when you need one?” she wondered with a tired, wry smile over her shoulder. 

“I _told_ you to take a break, you might miss an opening if you're too tired to even look.” Hunk said from where he was drinking a cup of something the humans called ‘space coffee’.

Allura turned to Pidge with a kind, if not sad smile, “He's right, you know. I'm not all that bad at this myself, perhaps I can take over while you at least catch a nap?” 

“How goes the search?” 

All turned to Kolivan, and their faces must have all said the same thing, because he gave a nod, “I see.” he approached and gave their equipment a cursory glance, “I can have Ulaz aid you. I'm sure his experience would be most helpful.”

Allura crossed her arms, eyes closed, “At this point we could use all the help we can get.” she said, “Keith's been missing for quintents now, we don't know where in the universe he could possibly be.” 

“On Earth, police usually give up hope of finding a victim after 48 hours.” Pidge said, and then at the confusion she clarified, “Roughly the same amount of vargas.” she cleared her throat and pushed her glasses up where they were slipping down her nose. 

“What I don't get is why Keith, particularly?” Lance wondered. “I mean, he wasn't the _only_ Galra there, and they would've gotten a lot less attention if they'd gone after a lesser Blade member or something, right?” 

Kolivan nodded, “This wasn't just because he's Galra, he's an _omega_.” 

Lance pursed his lips, “Right...and what's the significance of that? Like, what even is an omega?” 

Allura cleared her throat and covered her  face, “Um, Lance-” 

“Omegas are part of the Galra’s unique subset of genders, I suppose you might say. The natural reproductive and nurturing capabilities of omegas make them the most treasured members of Galra society.” Kolivan said, and all present who hadn't been aware flushed...namely Lance and Hunk.  “Hence, there have been cases where some use them against the Empire as hostages, bargaining chips, if you will. Keith was very likely sold for this reason.” 

Allura raised her head, “But why wouldn't the Kr'e have kept him for themselves, in that case?” 

Kolivan hummed, “I suppose they could have been counting on your protection. More desperate civilizations might turn to this barbaric method of protection, perhaps that is a method of narrowing our search?” 

Allura shared a glance with Pidge, and she nodded, already tapping away at her keyboard. Allura then sighed, turning to Kolivan, she gestured for them to step aside, out of earshot. 

The Galra followed, and Allura remained with arms crossed, gulping over her words, “I can hardly begin to express how grateful I...we are, for your help in this, it never would have crossed our minds to consider that possibility. Or at least not soon enough.” she said with a twitch and a sad frown, “We may be too late as it is.” 

Kolivan hummed, “I wouldn't be so sure.” 

Allura glanced up, curious, “Well...I'm not certain, just cautious of optimism, I suppose. What makes _you_ so certain of the opposite?” 

Kolivan’s lip quirked, almost a smirk, fascinating, as Allura had never seen him make so much as a glare, monotonous as he always was. “If Keith is being used as a bargaining chip, or a hostage...well, you keep hostages alive, otherwise you lose your leverage, don't you?” 

Allura’s brows flew up, eyes wide as she considered it, “That's true...but it's a matter of whether they're just keeping him alive or keeping him alive and _well_.” 

Kolivan gave a huff, disgruntled, “I should very much like to see him rescued. His mother is going to kill me if she returns to this.” 

Allura smiled, “Then for your sake, we better find him.”

* * *

 

It was three days later that Hunk jumped up from his tablet and waved a hand to garner attention, “Hey guys? I think I found something.” 

Everyone had been busying themselves with some sort of small way to help, searching transmissions, port cameras, anything that could help. But they all stood to attention and rushed over to see what exactly Hunk had found. 

Hunk cleared his throat at the attention and the crowding, “Okay, so, I found this encrypted message here from the Kr'e and it was actually a payment, a huge payment, from what I understand of the universal currency system.” 

“So-?” Pidge prodded. 

Hunk raised a hand, “I'm getting to it, it was encrypted, right? So I ran a few breakers and that's why I asked for your encoder earlier. The message crudely mentions the word ‘ _omega_ ’, now it's in Kr'e so I can't get a completely accurate translation but- the guy they wired the cash to could be a lead?” 

Allura nodded, “That's brilliant, Hunk, excellent work.” she patted him on the shoulder and he chuckled self-consciously. 

“Thanks.” 

Pidge crossed her arms, frown deep-set on her lips.

“So...who's the guy?”

* * *

 

It didn't take long to track their suspect down, he wasn't trying all too hard to hide his identity. That came with being a businessman, she supposed. 

In any case, Allura took great pleasure in sidling up to him at the bar they found him in. He was burly, intimidating, and likely a fierce opponent...against anyone else, that is. 

“Hello.” she greeted with a smile that made the larger alien bristle immediately. 

He studied her for a moment before he sighed and set his drink down, “If you're trying to seduce me, you should know that you're a terrible actress.” 

Allura laughed, “Nothing of the sort. You were actually going to tell me when _exactly_ you helped the Kr'e kidnap the Red Paladin and to whom you illegally _sold_ him to.” 

He huffed, “I suppose I can't be surprised you know about my work, the contempt is written all over your face.” he sat back, “But I don't divulge any such information. Nor do I remember who is who, everyone is a paycheck, in my eyes.” he took a swig of his drink and stood. “Get lost.” 

Allura grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into the bar, holding up her free hand when everyone else gasped and the bartender went to interfere. “I'm not _asking_. I said you _would_ tell me.” she all but hissed at him, tightening her hold, and when she saw panic in his eyes she kept it just that tight, “Now, would you like to start _divulging_ or do I have to start getting serious?” she wondered. 

The alien snarled, and Allura twisted his arm to the point a joint popped in protest. “I can do _far_ worse.” she promised. 

He groaned and went slack under her, and Allura nodded for Kolivan to approach from where he had stood on the sidelines, suited separately from his Blade suit, masked, and absolutely anonymous. They escorted the alien out of the bar unhindered. 

“I've never been more scared and aroused at the same time.” Lance commented when Allura returned, having heard the audio feed with the others. Allura rolled her eyes, and Pidge nudged Lance in the side with her elbow. 

They escorted the alien (whose name was Marek) to the brig, and Allura sat him down. 

“Where's your ship?” 

Marek snarled, turning his head to the side, irritated with his dilemma. 

“I sure hope I won't have to do any damage.” Allura threatened coolly, “I won't ask twice.” 

“Why my _ship_?” 

Pidge stepped forward, “Easier to hack _it_ than you.” she smirked, “It can't lie, no wild goose chases.” 

Marek skipped his brief confusion over the phrase and scoffed. Allura stepped forward, growing a foot or so in seconds and gripping his shoulder and forearm with deadly force that had him biting back on a hiss. 

“You've got twelve ticks, I will take your whole arm off with my bare hands. Don't you dare test me.” 

“Goddamn.” Lance murmured in the background. 

“I don't wanna see that.” Hunk added quietly. And then calculatingly, “ _-again_. It was bad enough last time.” 

Marek’s ear twitched at that. 

“Twelve...eleven...ten-”

“Oh it's gonna be messy.” Hunk gagged.

“Eight...seven-”

“Then don't look.” Pidge said.

“Five... _four_ -“

Allura tugged on his arm as she enunciated the word and the man panicked.

“Parked at the dockside, Dock 23-S.” Marek said quickly. 

Allura watched his expression for a moment, “Thank you.” she said with a dip of her head as she stepped back. 

Marek scoffed as he rubbed at his shoulder, “Why all the hassle? You could have just followed me to my ship.” 

“Hmm. But maybe you'd have caught on, maybe your ship has jump capabilities…” Allura trailed off, “Too many unknown variables. That and I wanted to have this. You _sold_ my best friend off to be used as a hostage.” she snapped, “I don't make a kind enemy.” 

“So I can tell.” Marek sighed, “I gave you what you want, are you gonna let me go now?” 

Allura scoffed, “You know...your trademark is linked to over a thousand missing persons, over half of which are Galran omegas.” she said, “You really thought we wouldn't turn you in?” she turned on her heel and left the cell, let it close behind her, and ignored the indignant exclamation. 

“Get to that dock.”

* * *

 

“God. Is there _any_ identifying info? They're literally all numbers!” Pidge sighed. 

Allura leaned over her shoulder, “We just need the transactions within the last cycle, give or take a quintent. There’s only two.” she pointed out. 

“Thank fuck.” Pidge whispered. 

“The specifics are hazy but this one is more expensive…?” Allura scratched at her scalp, “The buyers...the Vharren. We’ll investigate them. If this one doesn't turn out, at least we saved somebody, and we’ll know the other is likely Keith.”

* * *

 

Ulaz interrupted them on their way to Vhar. 

“I do believe I've found our culprits.” he said on the bridge. 

“The Vharren?” Allura asked.

Ulaz shook his head, “I'm afraid not. We're after the Kleesh. They sent out a transmission to a Galra warship just last quintent, home to General Gorvick. I've decoded it. It's...disturbing.” he added with a gulp and a shift of his feet. 

“Well let's see.” Allura prodded. 

“You misunderstand...the Red Paladin...I do not think he would wish for you to see him this way.” 

“He's in a _video?!”_ Pidge gasped, “I thought it was like, a transcript.” 

Ulaz bared his teeth, “You do not understand.” 

Kolivan stepped forward, “Control yourself, Ulaz.” 

Ulaz turned to his fellow alpha, “They have compromised him. He's been _forced_ into heat.” 

All Galra present snarled, fear and anger crossing the faces of all that had no masks. 

Allura looked around with wide eyes, “What...what does that mean?” 

“Shouldn't we just see the video?” Pidge asked. 

Ulaz wilted, “You _cannot_.” 

Kolivan sighed, “Perhaps telling them _no_ only makes them more determined to see their friend, Ulaz.” 

Allura gulped, “Is it really that bad?” 

Ulaz nodded, “Please, just change course.” 

Allura stared him down, and then she sighed, “Of course, we shouldn't waste any time.” she powered up the teleduv and began a wormhole. “In any case, would you be so kind as to explain what a ‘ _forced heat_ ’ is and why it appears to be so terrible?” 

Ulaz crossed his arms, “It was likely to prove to the General that Keith is an omega, but you see, to force an omega into heat...it's unnatural, the drug ruthless, his body _cannot_ stop the heat on its own. And he will slowly succumb to exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, he _needs_ to be rescued immediately and he needs an alpha to attend his needs. He could die otherwise.” 

“Wait! Wait wait wait!” Hunk scoffed, shaking his hands, “His _needs?”_

“You know what he means.” Pidge said with innuendo in her tone. 

“Yeah of course but-isn't that...it… I've seen him in heat before. He can't agree to that, can he?” 

Pidge flinched and Lance looked stunned, while Allura was concentrated on the wormhole. 

“Possibly not. It depends on whether he's coherent.” Ulaz said grimly, “But it will save his life.”

* * *

 

Keith couldn't really tell what was going on, but he _did_ know it was loud, there was so much commotion and he was only able to whimper, turn bleary eyes toward any source of movement and trace it in a haze. 

“-dehydrated. Get him to the castle immediately.” 

Keith was limp as a doll as someone scooped him up, and he turned his head into the broad chest, remembering that a broad chest used to be a source of comfort for him. It smelled good, it made him whine and his hands twitch with the need to touch. As it was he couldn't quite find the strength. 

It took a while, being held in large arms, before he was lain on a soft surface and he felt like he could finally sleep soundly. 

“Hey...hey Keith. It's okay.” 

Keith blinked at the familiar orange hair, Coran...that was Coran, right? 

“Sorry, this'll hurt.” 

Keith could only wince at the prick of pain in his arm. 

“Just an IV. You need some fluids. You haven't been eating either, huh?” 

Keith turned his head and there was more orange hair, but softer, more yellowy. The glint of glasses. 

“Pidge?” he managed in a wheeze. 

“Yeah. You got it, buddy. We found you. You're safe.” 

Keith hummed and then writhed at the new set of sharp aches in his belly, so consistent he'd almost forgotten they were there. 

The conversation wasn't quiet at all, but he had trouble focusing on it.

“-he's not strong enough-”

“-later when he's coherent-”

“Is there really no other option? The healing pods-?”

“Practically stasis.” 

“We can at least ask him?” 

“He’ll say no. You know he would only ever accept Shiro-”

Shiro? 

 _Shiro_. 

Keith whimpered, “Shiro.” he rolled onto his side, panting, “Need...need to-” he made to push himself up, not even able to do so by an inch. 

“Coran, sedate him. He needs to rest before we proceed with this horrible debacle.” Allura said. 

Keith slipped off only minutes later, given a sedative in his IV.

* * *

 

Keith woke abruptly, the pains in his abdomen muted but still present. He sat up, arms shaking with the effort and his vision blurry, he had to blink a few times before he could see clearly. 

Something beeped beside him and Keith startled, glancing at the Altean machine hooked up to the IV in his arm. 

_Altean…?_

He was back on the castle? 

Keith could have cried with relief, as it was, he just exhaled a shaky sigh and lay back down, a slight smile and a quiver of residual trauma all he could feel at the moment aside from his heat. 

Keith looked toward the medbay door when it slid open. Coran, Allura, Pidge, Hunk...geez, everyone was here.

“You're awake!” 

Keith nodded, flinching back from the hug that Pidge made to give him, and at her questioning look he shrugged, “Sorry...heat, don't like unnecessary touching.” 

She hummed and stepped back. 

“Keith.” Allura stepped forward, “I hate to get straight to the point but there's something you should know.” she sighed, “Are you coherent?”

Keith nodded, sure he was dizzy and heat-addled, but he wasn't loopy. For now. So he waited for Allura to explain her dire expression, curious.

“Keith,” she began, “Your heat is indefinite, it won't end.” 

Keith stared at her, and then his gaze shifted and he groaned over the ache in his belly, giving a pained scoff, “Wh-what?” 

“It's an artificial heat, and apparently your body, no Galra’s body is meant to be artificially stimulated into heat. As such...your body doesn't know how to stop it.” Coran explained. 

Keith gulped, “So...I'm stuck like this?” 

Coran and Allura shared glances. 

“There is a way to stop it, but-”

“You see-”

“It’s complicated.” 

“You gotta fuck an alpha.” Pidge interjected. 

Keith blinked at her, “What?” 

"Pidge!" Hunk cried, mortified.

Pidge shrugged, “It’s true. These two were gonna dance around the subject all day.”

Keith could only marvel at the ridiculousness of the solution. “You really expect me to go through with that?” he asked, panting through a severe cramp. 

“We did fear you wouldn't agree. But we won't force you, Keith.” Coran said. 

“But who’s going to fly the Red Lion?” Lance asked. 

“Why-” Keith gasped and bit his lip, holding back a whine, “Why _that?_ Why is that the only solution?” 

Allura crossed her arms, “Ulaz explained it's something to do with satisfying your body’s needs?” 

“Didn't Ulaz also say something about knots?” Hunk asked, face burning.

Keith considered that. As much as he could with his body throbbing, his belly aching and his head spinning. 

“Can't I use a dildo then?” 

Pidge was the only one who wasn't aghast or confused. “ _Maybe_ it'd work?” 

“A dildo?” Coran wondered.

“A fake dick.” Pidge said. 

“Dick?” 

“My god!” Lance covered his face and Hunk looked like he could die of embarrassment. 

“You really are straight as a board aren't you, Lance?” Pidge wondered. And then to Coran, Pidge pointed to Keith's crotch and Keith crossed his legs self-consciously. 

“Oh!” Coran nodded, hand on his chin like this was the most fascinating thing he had ever heard of. 

“Do aliens not know what a dildo is?” Lance wondered. 

Keith laughed, albeit pained, “Oh they know.” he rasped, “There's a sex store in the space mall.” 

“Gross, you went in there didn't you?” Lance made a face. 

“I had a- _nng!_ A sex life. Unlike _you_.” Keith snapped back, hands gone to grasp in the sheets of his cot as he whined brokenly and writhed a bit. 

Lance gasped and placed an offended hand on his chest, Allura rolled her eyes and stepped in. 

“Please, you two! Now is _not_ the time.” 

Keith closed his eyes and whimpered, humiliated and scared and in pain. 

“But have you tried by yourself yet?” Allura asked.

Keith bit his lip, nodding. That didn't go well. 

“I...I did. But...maybe if I do... _w-with_ something-” he cut himself off and cleared his throat, “Just-just let me try first. Please? _Please_ …” 

Keith waited. 

“We can try. There's little to no guarantee it'll work.” Coran said, and Keith nodded. 

“Keith if it _doesn't_ work-”

“I'll...I'll consider my o-options.” Keith managed, and despite how much pain he was already in he was far more pained by this ridiculous fact. If there was a way around it he would take it. _Anything_ to avoid betraying Shiro. 

“Keith, they said it's a matter of life and death. You'll exhaust yourself to that point if you go too long like this.” Allura laid a hand on Keith’s knee, he twitched away from it. “Do _not_ let it go that long.” 

Keith gulped, “I won't.” he said with a tremble.

* * *

 

There was a knock on his door and Keith took a moment to register it, so desperate and despairing as he was. He raised his head, tugging at his blankets to cover himself up where he'd been working for the past hour to no avail. It was so frustrating he had tears running down his sweaty cheeks, breath coming in sharp, hiccuping gasps. 

“Come in.” he exhaled in exhaustion, looking up through hooded eyes to see Coran enter, sympathy on his face as he took in Keith's appearance. 

“Hello, my boy.” he said, and Keith sat back, letting out a whimper at the change of the toy, the tease of relief. “No progress, I take it?” Coran came to stand with arms crossed next to the bed. 

Keith stared at him for a moment, and then he lost it, covering his face and sobbing once, withholding the rest in favor of whimpering: “It's not fair.” 

Coran very gently laid a hand on his shoulder, “I'm sorry.”  

“I don't _want_ to!” Keith snapped, covering his lips as he took in a quivering breath and shook his head, “I don't want to betray Shiro.” 

“Keith.” Coran sat down on the bed, “You won't be. It's not like you have a choice in the matter. Shiro would _understand_.” 

“If Shiro were here I probably wouldn't _be_ in this mess.” Keith bemoaned in a rasp.

“Even so, you're not betraying anyone, Keith. You're saving your _life_. It's not easy, and I understand completely your reservations.” Coran said, “At the very least, it's a one time thing. You shan't have to do it again.” 

Keith laughed without mirth, shaking his head, “Coran-” he hiccuped softly, “I can't do this.” he rubbed his hands over his face, “God, fuck I can't.” 

“It’s alright.” 

Keith shook his head again, “You...you really think Shiro would understand?” he whispered. 

“If it was in the interest of saving your life? Yes.” Coran said, “That man would do _anything_ for you, you know.” 

Keith laughed again, shaky, wet with tears. “He would, wouldn't he?” he murmured. 

Coran heaved a quiet sigh, waiting. He seemed to know Keith's mind was made up, just waiting to hear him confirm his acquiescence. 

“Okay.” Keith rasped, “Fuck. Okay.” 

“I'm sorry, Keith.” 

“Don't fucking _say_ that,” Keith scoffed, “I'll back out.” 

Coran hummed a chuckle, “Did you have anyone in mind to help?” 

Keith bit his lip, swaying with dizziness, “Uh-um.” he managed, rocking a little on the toy, then correcting himself as he remembered he was in polite company, “I...It's a _one-time_ thing, yeah? You'll explain that? They'll u-understand _completely?”_  

“Definitely.” Coran nodded. 

“Okay. Then I have s-someone...someone in mind.” Keith said, voice breaking. “Can you give me that contraceptive again?” 

_I'm so sorry Shiro._

* * *

 

It was a good thing they hadn't had Keith in the company of an alpha this whole time. The moment Keith got wind of his scent he was certain he'd lost his mind, all modicum of guilt set aside in favor of instinct. It took a fair moment of intense wrestling with his own head to calm down a little, to remind himself he didn't actually want this. _That_ was all artificial. 

“Keith?” 

Keith whimpered and pushed himself up, “Hey, Regris.” he murmured. 

“Why me?” 

Keith chuckled wryly, looking over his shoulder at the Galra, watching him fidget, shuffle on his feet, he was nervous. Well, at least he didn't seem all that excited. At least he seemed to be just as trepidatious as Keith. 

“I don't know.” Keith said, beckoning Regris closer. “I know you, I guess. And-” he reached out when the alpha came close enough, took his hand, held it, stared at it. 

“I trust you?” he offered, not looking up, and Regris's breath hitched. 

“What do you want me to do?” 

Keith looked up then, a whine stuck in his throat, “ _Help_ _me_.” 

 

 

 

~^~

Regris nodded, swallowing thickly, and Keith could smell a waft of arousal pouring off of him, sudden as if he was afraid Keith would smell it earlier. He sure had self-control, didn't he? 

Keith bit his lip and heaved a shaky sigh, getting on all fours and curving his back, listening to the soft purr and growl the alpha made when Keith's blanket fell away. 

A big, warm hand, far too big to be familiar, caressed down the line of his spine, and Keith keened, gripping onto the pillow before him when a finger hesitated only once before dipping over his hole, scooping up slick and pressing, testing. Keith exhaled a moan, rocking back onto the finger and almost sobbing with relief. Already he wanted something bigger. 

“ _Please_.” he rasped. 

At that Regris snarled and Keith made a noise of surprise as he was pushed down against the mattress and the Galra climbed over him, pressing his hips flush to Keith's ass, clothed erection rubbing firm against him. Keith wriggled underneath him and listened while Regris began removing his suit, a quick process that was almost startlingly so. Next thing he knew the head of a _big_ cock was pressing against him, and Keith willed himself to relax as it started pressing in, slow, halting every inch or so. 

He gave easily, like he was meant for it, and then Regris pressed inside his second hole and Keith finally fucking _came_. Keith gasped and blushed over the scream that involuntarily left his lips. Fuck. Fuck. He had never, ever felt so relieved in his life. Keith did sob then, a cold rush of blessed release running down his spine, and he went lax under the petting hand that followed. 

Regris pushed again, and Keith whimpered as he bottomed out, flush to him, fur brushing the sensitive backs of his thighs. From there he began a slow, _strong_ pace. Each slap of his hips leaving Keith gasping, and he must have come two or three more times before Regris bent down, mouthed over his gland, teeth grazing. And then Regris made a noise like he remembered he wasn't supposed to do that. 

Keith whined and bucked under him, and Regris’s orgasm was tangible, Keith’s eyes flew open at the way his cock swelled _tight_ at the base, locking them together. 

 

“Fuck! _Fuck!”_ Keith shouted and spurted weakly onto the sheets where he had already made a decent mess. And then Regris purred as he licked over Keith's gland, around the back of his neck to nip and lick like a cat. Keith shivered and went willingly when he rolled them onto their sides to wait his knot out. 

 

 

 

~^~

“Are you alright?” Regris rumbled, and Keith nodded, not trusting himself to speak for the tremble in his voice, the way his eyes welled with tears. The guilt and the grief washed over him so quickly it was painful, and he had to breathe slowly to avoid giving his sobs away. 

A hand rubbed over his hip, gentle, down to caress his thigh, and then back up again. Keith shifted and settled down with a sigh, turning his head into the pillow. 

“I'm glad.” Regris said. 

Keith hummed in acknowledgment. 

“That you trust me enough to ask this of me.” he finished, and Keith blinked, looking over his shoulder. 

“You know it's...you know it's only once, right?” Keith murmured. 

The light in Regris’s eyes dimmed a little, and he bit his lip as he nodded, “Of course.” he averted his gaze, watched himself clutch onto Keith's hip. “Do you not want a mate?” 

Keith hunched his shoulders, “I _have_ a mate.” he whispered. 

Regris startled, and Keith gasped as the knot tugged at him, pleasurable and foreign all at once.

“He's not Galra, and he didn't get a chance to give me a mating mark before he-” Keith rubbed a hand over his neck. 

“The Black Paladin…” Regris breathed, “I...guess I should have known, I assumed you were close, perhaps family.” 

Keith couldn't help but laugh at that, “We _are_ practically family...just, not platonic.” he said. 

“It makes sense now that you searched so fiercely. Only a mate would warrant such devotion.” 

Keith hummed. 

“He is lucky to have a mate like you.” 

Keith nodded, choking up a little. It was nice that Regris used present tense. Not another person pushing that Shiro was probably dead. Circumstances aside, he rather enjoyed his company. 

Keith sighed as Regris slipped out of him, and the alpha purred again, prying a finger inside to feel where Keith was shut tight, just a press, enough to elicit a light hiss from Keith. 

“Do you feel better?” 

Keith nodded, “Not...heat’s not gone yet, but...I want to sleep now.” 

“Shall I go?” Regris asked, a bit demure. 

Keith shook his head, “Stay.” he mumbled, eyes already closed, sleep claiming him in an instant. 

* * *

 Waking with warm arms wrapped around him, listening to the loud thump of a heartbeat...it almost tricked him into thinking he was months into the past. 

Keith stirred, nuzzling against a broad chest, taking a deep breath of the sweet musk that made him rile, rutting his hips against the body underneath him. 

And then he opened his eyes at the realization that fur was tickling his nose. He looked up at the sleeping alpha and startled away. Sitting back on his haunches, he stared, and then he touched fingers to his cheek when warm, wet tears started dripping to the mattress. He gasped over his emotions and Regris woke, sitting up, looking cowed, like Keith had _scolded_ him, to see Keith crying like this. 

“Shall I leave you alone?” 

Keith almost nodded, but he was still cramping with his heat, that would need to be taken care of, so he shook his head. “Sorry.” he rasped, “I _thought_ -” his voice broke, and he shook his head again, covering his eyes with a hand while he clutched at his belly with the other, rocking himself.

“You miss your mate.” Regris murmured. 

Keith took a deep breath, exhaling long and low before he removed his hand and wiped at his cheeks. “I'm...I'm alright.” he blinked up at Regris, already dizzy with the next wave of his heat, though definitely not so severe as it was the night before. It was getting better. 

Keith cleared his throat and steeled himself, moving to lay on his belly again, hips propped up, and he looked over his shoulder where his head rested on his arms, giving that instinctive trill that he found Regris responded well to. The alpha didn't waste much time in mounting him, and Keith closed his eyes, panting through it, moaning or crying out when he came, when he was knotted again. 

It was later, after Regris had gone to fetch food, Keith had eaten, and then had been fucked a few more times, that Keith sat up. 

“You never told me why you joined the Blades.” Keith prodded, drawing his knees up to his chest and turning a curious gaze over his shoulder. 

“I never said I _would_.” Regris said. 

Keith hummed, “You said ‘ _maybe_ ’.” 

Regris scoffed, and then smiled. 

“We’re not well acquainted enough.” 

Keith deadpanned, “I'm having you help with my _heat_.” 

Regris sighed at that, “Only because you have to.” 

Keith’s breath hitched, and he looked away, down at the blankets under his feet. How could he refute that? It was true. “I suppose so.” Keith murmured.

Regris traced a hand down Keith's back, “How do you feel?” 

Keith couldn't answer for a moment, torn between the desire for physical comfort, the dimming influence of his heat, and his guilt over the entire thing. “Almost better.” he said truthfully. 

“I'm glad.” Regris said simply. “I was genuinely fearful for you, when I heard.” he added. 

“Thanks.” Keith whispered, shaking his head, “What...I actually don't even know what happened to me.” he said, “Aside from the forced heat…Why did they want me? They just...kept me in that cell.” 

Regris sat up, and Keith turned in place, watching him in wait of an explanation. 

“Ulaz intercepted a transmission. It's how we found you so soon.” Regris explained, “They forced you into heat because they were being persecuted by the Empire. You see, omegas are special to us. You're the driving force of our very future, you understand?” Regris paused to search Keith's eyes. 

Keith nodded, gulping. 

“The Kleesh wanted you in heat because there is no way to mistake your identity, it was confirmation beyond a shadow of a doubt for them _and_ the General they were threatening.” 

Keith considered that. “How would the general know?” 

Regris sighed, “They sent him a probe carrying the blanket you used there. Apparently.” 

Keith scoffed, “Scent.” he muttered. 

“Exactly.” Regris agreed, “In any case, while I understand these people are desperate, it is wrong to make a slave of somebody for any gain.” 

Keith stared at him for a moment, and then he smiled, emotional, a little embarrassed, and shifted closer. 

Regris looked at him in surprise, and Keith's shrugged, “Heat.” he explained, planting a hand on the alpha’s chest to push him down while he climbed onto his lap. 

 

~^~

Regris went to hold onto his hips, eyes a bit wide as Keith lined himself up and sank down, planting both hands on his belly while he moaned sharply and came in a small spurt of white. Fuck it was a little too easy to come when a cock filled him there. “You haven't done it this way before.” Regris commented, voice tight with restraint, an occasional grunt given as Keith rocked his hips, eyes closed. 

“Hush.” Keith murmured, letting his head loll back while he basked in the sensation, toes curling as he thought of-

_No don't...don't think of Shiro. That would just make this worse._

Keith bit his lip and shook his head, bowing it while he exhaled sharp and ragged and quickened his pace, desperate. Drawing another orgasm out of himself before Regris followed suit, and Keith buried his face in his chest, hiccuping mutedly and taking long, agonizing breaths to hide the fact that he was sobbing. 

Fuck.

_Fuck ._

 

~^~

* * *

 Keith didn't see Regris when he woke, heat broken, the burning need under his skin gone and the spice of his scent in the air toned down to a sweeter, sated scent. 

Keith sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed he hadn't left in days, and he took wobbling steps away from it, into the bathroom to take a hot shower. Or rather sit beneath the stream and bury his face in his hands. 

Keith cried often, in private mostly, but never was he loud. Unlike now. Now he had to mute his cries with a hand over his lips. 

It was grief, it was guilt, it was panic and it was fear. This entire debacle had left him terrified and violated. It was hard to feel like he didn't even have autonomy over his own body. Control had never been his, but god did it truly feel like that now. 

He took a deep breath, reminding himself it was over. He wasn't in danger anymore. 

_He wanted Shiro._

He wanted to see him, he wanted his smile, his hug. 

He wanted to tell him he was sorry, that he didn't _want_ to do this, that he _loved_ him. He wanted to lay in bed for hours and just...just _be_ with him. 

Keith missed him so much. 

So fucking much. 

He wanted him _back_.

* * *

 

“Hey, how are you doing?” 

Keith hummed noncommittally, tightening his hold on his knees where they were drawn up to his chest. “As well as someone who got kidnapped can be.” 

Pidge sighed and sat down beside him, “It was a lot more than just that. And...on top of everything else-” she cut herself off, “You know I'm here, right? We all are. If you need to talk about it. That shit is more than traumatizing, you know.” 

Keith nodded, biting his lip and willing the sting in his eyes to fade.

“Thanks.” he murmured, “I'm okay for now.” 

Pidge placed her hand on his shoulder, “You know…” she said, and then she chuckled sadly, “You're a terrible liar.” 

Keith sneered but there was no bite behind it. 

“But I know you don't talk when people push you. So just come to me when you feel ready, yeah?” Pidge gave his shoulder a pat, and then she stood. “The Blades are joining Lance and Hunk for a mission, you wanna go?” 

Keith shook his head, “Going to go search the battlefield. It's finally clear of the Empire and...I just need to go see.” he said.

Pidge nodded. “Okay.” she murmured as she turned to leave, casting one last concerned look over her shoulder. 

Keith sighed and slowly got to his feet, staring down at the floor. It had been a long time, weeks, actually, since Keith’s...experience.

He had barely spoken to Regris since. Mostly because he couldn't get him alone, and when a Blade didn't want to be found.... 

Keith turned to go see Red. He wanted to be Regris’s friend like they were before all that shit happened. It was awkward, to say the least, when both of them were in a room, though. Everyone knew what had happened, how could they not? And so it made for rather uncomfortable glances thrown their way, studying demeanor. 

It was kind of rude. 

Sure, they'd fucked. But it wasn't exactly something Keith could control. It was...not purely clinical, but close enough. Keith _did_ enjoy it, how could he not? Regris wasn't unattractive, and he was, well, good. But the guilt and the shame overwhelmed any enjoyment he may have gotten from it. 

Red was glad to see him. He visited her often, took her out even more often, and she was glad for the attention after his disappearance. He felt much closer to her than he ever had. Maybe that was a small benefit to it. She was protective too, shying away from dangerous situations and Keith had to wrestle with her to get her to listen sometimes. It was both thrilling and annoying, but he loved her anyway. 

“Hey kitty.” Keith said, patting her snout when she knelt to receive him. “Ready to go look again?” he wondered, casting a saddened gaze at the ground. 

Red opened her jaws as an answer, and Keith traced his fingers along the walls of her mouth as he entered. 

Time to try once more.

* * *

 

“I'm sorry, Keith.” 

Keith sighed, turning Red around to head back. It had been five months since Shiro vanished into thin air. Five whole months without him and no sign or trace anywhere.

Keith did wonder, but...he wouldn’t entertain it.

All he could entertain was the idea of Shiro imprisoned somewhere, trying to find his way back to no avail. He was _counting_ on Keith. He needed Keith to keep going. So that’s what Keith would do, no matter how many times he came up empty handed. 

Because that’s what Shiro would do for him. No matter what. Even with the things that had happened. 

Keith docked in the castle and exited his Lion with a sigh, only to be greeted by Coran, Allura, and Kolivan. 

Keith came to a halt and glanced between their expressions, “What?”

“Dinner meeting, Keith. We have many civilisations to recruit to the coalition, the presence of all the Paladins would be immensely beneficial.” Allura said.

Keith stiffened, “I _told_ you.” he snarled, “I’m not doing that again. I don’t know if you remember but _last time_ I was abducted. That was surely _beneficial_.” 

Allura frowned at his snark, unimpressed, and Keith made to walk around her. 

“That’s why we’re having the dinner here, on the castle.” Coran said. “We can monitor everything, even what’s being served, you’ll be safe that way.” 

Keith paused, looking over his shoulder. His heart was racing a mile a minute, his palms were clammy beneath his gloves, and he could see that Kolivan noticed his thick scent of distress. 

Why did they even think of asking him? It was...did they not realize just how bad last time was? Keith had fucking nightmares. He spent whole nights staring at his wall, shivering, anxious and hyperventilating.  

Keith clenched his fists, taking a deep breath that came in and out shakily, despite his best efforts to remain composed. 

He turned on his heel, glancing up at Kolivan. “I’ll come if you have Regris talk to me beforehand.” 

Kolivan raised a brow, and Allura glanced at Coran in confusion.

“Why?” 

“Because I asked.” Keith crossed his arms, looking to his Altean friends, “That’s my condition.” he said as he turned around once more to leave. 

* * *

 

Regris didn’t necessarily look _nervous_ , more fidgety, though his composure was solid. Keith smiled sheepishly at him, toeing his boot into the ground. 

“Hey.”

“Hello.” 

Keith looked down at his own shoe, “You’ve been avoiding me.” 

Regris cleared his throat, “You made it clear it was a one-time thing. I didn’t want you to think I’d gotten the wrong impression.” 

Keith winced, “So it _is_ about that.” he muttered. 

Regris twitched.

“I was afraid of this.” Keith continued, “Um...yeah, the... _mating_ was a one time thing, okay? But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk to you _at all_ anymore!” he exclaimed. And then he reeled himself in a bit at Regris’s startled expression, closing his eyes. “I _mean_ to say...I do value your companionship, I’m afraid of losing it, and I’d appreciate having someone I trust to watch over me during this dinner.” 

Regris stared down at him, and Keith shifted his weight from one hip to the other. Nervous. 

“They want me to go to another one.” Keith said, “After what happened last time. They...they think I’d just be okay with it.” he scoffed, arms crossed tightly over his chest. 

“I did hear.” Regris said. 

Keith bit his lip, “So will you come?” 

Regris went to sit down on the lounge seat, and Keith watched him, watched his ears sag, watched his tail curl up into his side. 

“I avoided you, Keith, for more than just respecting your space.” 

Keith gulped, he had a feeling…

“I do harbor feelings for you. I do not wish you to feel obligated to reciprocate.” Regris said, “But I wouldn't feel right being your friend and not having said so. I'm certain...I could get over it eventually.” 

Keith bit his lip and took a deep breath, “ _Ahh_...I'm sorry.” he murmured. 

“I could hardly expect you to be. You're waiting for your mate to return, I figure it would be better if I didn't interject myself into the equation. More than I already am.” Regris said ruefully. 

“But that was my fault.” Keith said, “I'm the one who asked for you, and maybe that was wrong of me.” Keith frowned and drew in upon himself. 

Regris looked up, “Don't apologize, Keith. I'm glad for that. It was an opportunity I know I won't get again, and I'm simply glad to have had the honor.” he stood and approached Keith, “Do not take my avoidance to mean I dislike you, or resent you, but rather know I'm simply trying to sway my own feelings.” 

Keith hummed, “That's not really fair, is it? Why do _my_ feelings get more privilege than yours?” 

Regris smiled at that, and Keith's breath hitched as he brushed his hair behind his ear, “Because that's what you do for those you love.” 

Keith blinked up at him, jaw agape, and Regris only sighed. 

“In any case, I shall join you for this dinner. If you understand that I'm returning to the base afterward.” 

Keith nodded, closing his mouth with a click and clearing his throat as he smiled sadly, “I'll be sad to see you go.” he said truthfully. 

Regris turned to leave, “That's more than enough for me.” 

Keith could only watch him go with what felt like a clenching fist around his heart. It hurt, knowing someone else liked him that way, someone else felt what Shiro probably did, surely not so intensely as they did. But still, he knew what it was like to love someone and have them not love you back. His heart went out to Regris. As it was, he couldn't return those feelings. 

He was just glad Regris was honorable. Respectful. 

* * *

 

They all just wanted to forget about him! It was like Shiro wasn't even an important part of the team! So _what_ if it had been a few months? Keith couldn't give up hope just yet, he couldn't allow himself to. Some people went missing and showed up _years_ later for fuck’s sake! Shiro could be the same. They couldn't just decide he was dead because it had been a few months. 

Keith was so fucking _frustrated_ he couldn't bring himself to care that he'd ruined a diplomatic meeting. He wasn't wrong, though. Voltron was gone until Shiro came back, there was nothing they could do to change that and those people needed to take the freedom they had been handed into their own hands. They couldn't rely on Voltron entirely or else they wouldn't have any strength at all! They needed to stand up for themselves. 

Keith gave in and punched the nearest wall with a shout, clutching his fist afterward and hissing through the shocks of pain. 

“Keith-”

“Did you see that? What they did in there? They just...they're dismissing Shiro's importance!” Keith laughed breathlessly, hysterically, “He's the biggest reason we ever got anywhere! He's the _head of Voltron!”_ Keith exclaimed, shaking his head, “And do you know Allura’s telling me we need to _replace_ him?!” 

A hand on his shoulder had Keith stilling, looking over his shoulder and breathing heavily with his anger and his grief. 

“I can't say I understand.” Regris said, “But...I understand where you're both coming from.” 

Keith raised a brow. 

“I don't see the harm in finding a new pilot. After all, when the black Paladin comes back he can simply retake his place, correct?”

Keith crossed his arms, begrudged that he couldn't exactly argue that. 

“I can see it’s difficult for you.” Regris said, “I won’t try to persuade you otherwise, but...I do encourage you to think about it.” 

Keith watched with growing panic as the Blade turned to leave. “Wait...are you still going back to the base?” he asked. 

Regris turned a sad smile over his shoulder, “It’s what’s best. So yes.”

Keith sagged and narrowly avoided the urge to laugh mirthlessly, because _of course_ he was leaving. That’s what everyone did eventually, right? Though maybe that was on Keith for growing attached. 

Keith looked up again, saw Regris watching him...waiting. 

He was waiting for Keith to ask him to _stay_. 

It dawned on him like a bullet to the heart, and Keith gulped over the fact that he _couldn’t_. He couldn’t give Regris what he wanted, and this was truly better for everyone. 

It sank in again, once more, and Keith sighed, approaching the alpha and beckoning him downward. Regris hesitated, but he bent over a little so Keith might better reach him. Keith cupped his face and smiled at him before he rubbed his cheek over his, leaving a kiss made of scent there, and that was that. 

“Good luck.” Keith murmured, and Regris looked flustered for a moment before resignation washed over his features, and he nodded as he straightened out. 

“I wish you good fortune.” Regris said, smiling even while he looked so very sad. 

Keith watched him go, crossing his arms with a sigh.  

He did the right thing. 

It did not feel good. 

* * *

 

Keith steeled himself, hand raised to knock on her door, angry that he was agreeing, sad, anxious over the ordeal. But what Regris had said did soothe him a little. When Shiro came back they could simply return him to his rightful spot. 

Keith only hoped he would forgive them for replacing him in the first place. He was certain he couldn’t forgive himself. But Voltron _was_ needed. And Keith knew he was being selfish. 

He knocked. 

“Come in.” 

Keith sighed and tapped at the button, stepping inside as the door slid open. 

Allura turned, brushing out her hair and looking rather ready for bed. “Keith?” 

Keith crossed his arms, “I’ve been thinking.” he murmured. 

Allura set down her brush and stood, “Oh?” 

“You were right. About...finding a new Paladin.” Keith said, the words like stones in his heart. Grinding away and eliciting sharp, painful regret. 

Allura approached him almost cautiously, hand raised to gently come to rest upon his shoulder. “Keith.” she said, soft and sympathetic. 

Keith raised his gaze, arms still crossed tightly over his chest. 

Allura drew him into a hug, and Keith stared at the white fabric, surprised, a little uncomfortable, and unmoving as she sighed and pet her hand over his hair. “I am sorry that it’s come to this.” she murmured. “I am.” 

Keith nodded, unspeaking, he couldn’t for fear his voice would break and relay just how much he didn’t want to agree. How much he still wanted to shout and scream at them for forgetting about Shiro, for letting the fact that he had vanished fall to the wayside. As if he didn’t matter. 

It was hard to remind himself that Allura _did_ care, that everyone else was focusing on the bigger picture. It was easier to do that when he had Shiro by his side. Now...now he needed to be brave and he needed to do what Shiro would want. 

He did say…

But Keith wouldn’t do that. It was a fluke after all, flying the Black Lion. He only did it to save Shiro, she only _allowed_ it to save Shiro.

“We’ll discuss the matter once more with everyone tomorrow. And we’ll decide where to go from there, alright?” Allura prodded as she pulled back, stepping out of Keith’s space. 

Keith gave another nod and turned on his heel, “Okay.” he rasped as he left. 

And that was that. 

* * *

 

“So who’s gonna be the new Black Paladin, anyway?” 

Keith flinched at the phrase: _‘new’_ , arms crossed, listening away from where everyone was sitting in the lounge. 

“Didn’t you tell us which lions we would fly, Allura?” Pidge wondered.

“Yeah can’t we find the new pilot with your space magic?” Hunk added.

Allura bit her lip, “Well, you see…” she said, stuttering, “It doesn’t work like that, I was only able to assign Lions to all of you because you’re here, in person and I could sense the qualities you and the Lions shared.” 

“So you couldn’t do a big old super sweep with magic to find someone?” Hunk asked.

Allura shook her head, “I’m afraid not.” 

“Well then what _do_ we do to find somebody?” Lance asked. 

Allura glanced Keith’s way, and he stiffened, “Keith...you piloted the Black Lion.” 

Keith shrugged, “Once.” he muttered. 

“Keith?!” Lance exclaimed. “Keith’s the kind of guy who shoots first and asks later.” 

Keith stared at the floor. 

“And who would be better?” Pidge asked, “ _You?”_  

Lance hummed, “Maybe.” he insinuated, not at all subtle.

“Lance, you’re a goofball.” 

“What? I’m not a goofball! And who else? Hunk?” 

“I did kinda call the head-“ 

“What about Allura?” 

Allura crossed her arms, “Well...I was going to attempt piloting Black.” she said quietly. 

“See Allura would be the perfect choice,” Lance said, “She’s already our leader so it’s not much different.” 

“But we do know for a fact that Keith _can_ pilot Black.” Pidge said. 

Lance twitched. 

Keith sighed, “I guess we can all try?” he suggested. 

“Jumping at the chance.” Lance muttered, mimicking his crossed arms. 

Keith bristled, “What did you say?” 

“I’m _just_ saying you seem kind of eager to take the spot.” Lance said. 

Keith took a few steps forward, “You think I’m _eager?”_ he all but growled. “You _think-_ “ his voice cracked, “I’m _eager_ to lead us?” 

“I don’t really see any other angle.” Lance shrugged, “You’re not denying it.” 

Keith did growl then, watched with satisfaction as all jumped at the sound, “I don’t want to lead anything, that’s what _Shiro_ wanted.” 

“ _I_ never heard Shiro say that-“ 

Keith was across the room before anyone could even cry out in surprise, Keith socked Lance in the jaw and followed him down to the floor, hands scrambling against the arms that were suddenly grabbing at him, “Fuck you!” Keith snapped, hands gripping the lapels of his jacket, knee pressing down hard into Lance’s stomach, his eyes were wide in shock as he shrank back from Keith, “I would _never_ try to use Shiro for my own gain! You _think-_ “ someone pulled him off, “You think I could _do_ _that?!_ Shiro was _everything_ to me! I don’t give a fuck about leading!” he shouted as someone pulled him away from Lance, “You want the job so badly, _take it!”_ he shrugged off the hands, Allura’s, and stormed out of the room. 

“Keith!”

Keith ignored her, breath heavy and wet as he made his way down the halls. 

She grasped onto his jacket and Keith spun around with a snarl. Allura took a step back, offering him only a disappointed gaze. 

“Don’t you dare.” Keith snapped as she made to speak, “Don’t you _dare_ tell me that was too far.” he all but wept, “Lance has been hounding me for over half a year! I have a goddamn right to...he just implied that I would take advantage of Shiro’s disappearance! He _just-_ “ Keith turned and slammed his fist into the wall, gritting his teeth through the pain, turning his head away when Allura laid her hand on his shoulder. 

“Keith.” she murmured, “I’m sorry.” 

“You can forget about me trying. You all go enjoy playing with Black.” Keith said in a rasp, “I don’t want it anyway.” 

“What?” Allura gasped, “Keith, you have to at least _try_.” 

“I don’t _have_ to do shit! You all are getting what you want. Black can decide between you.” he shrugged her touch away and left. 

Keith made his way to his room, unable to have the satisfaction of slamming the door, he punched it instead. And then a few more times for good measure. “Fuck!” he shouted, clutching his hand as it throbbed, and he paced his room, sobbing messily, “Goddamnit!” he snapped, sitting down and covering his face. His knuckles were split, he could see as he did so. Whatever. 

His hand scrambled around in the bed to find Shiro’s best, bringing it up to his face and muffling his tears and whimpers into it. He spent a while like that, until his tears dried up and he was staring down at the crumpled vest in his lap, thumbs rubbing reverently over the faded fabric. 

He remembered the first time he saw Shiro in it, he thought he might die of a heart attack, it was so _tight_ and flattering. It almost prompted a smile to his lips, but they wobbled instead, and he hugged the vest to his chest as he kicked his boots away and rolled onto the mattress. 

What he wouldn’t give to have him back this very instant. 

He whimpered his name to the dark, listened to no one reply, and he cried himself to sleep. 

Keith jolted awake at the pat on his shoulder. 

He looked over and then he groaned at Pidge’s waiting expression. “What?” he mumbled, nuzzling into Shiro’s vest. 

“Nice swing.” Pidge said. 

“Mhm.” 

“We’ve all tried our hands at Black. She doesn’t like us very much.” Pidge said. 

Keith only hummed.

“Keith.” Pidge said, sitting down on the bed, “She wants you.” 

Keith scoffed, “I’m fine where I am.” 

“Shiro wanted this for you.” Pidge added. 

“Don’t pull that card.” Keith whispered. 

“He told me.” Pidge continued, “I don’t really know why just me, but I know you weren’t lying when you said he said so.” 

“Nice to know you needed outside confirmation to believe me.” Keith blinked at the well of tears in his eyes. 

“Keith, that’s not what I mean and you know it.” 

“Go away.” 

Pidge huffed, “No.” 

“Pidge-“

“You didn’t ask nicely.” she continued, “And I’m not leaving until _I_ want to, got that?” 

Keith winced at the way she jabbed a finger against his back. 

“Hey.” 

Keith ignored her.

“Keith, even if it’s you...wouldn’t Shiro come back just to be proud of you? Wouldn’t you want that?” 

“I don’t need him _proud_ of me, I need him _back_.” Keith rasped, “That’s all I want. Why won’t he just come back?” he asked the empty air. 

“Maybe he can’t.” Pidge said, “Maybe he’s stuck. Maybe the only way to find him is with Voltron. Maybe the only way to form Voltron is for _you_ to take the mantle.” 

Keith stared at the wall with wide eyes for a moment, and he looked over his shoulder, heedless of the way tears streamed over his cheeks. “You really think so?” 

Pidge sighed, “We’ve tried _everything_ else.” she shrugged. “It’s pretty much the only thing left to try.” 

Keith sat up, wiping his eyes, “Maybe you’re right.” he whispered, clarity washing over him. Of course...it _was_ the only thing they hadn’t tried. Maybe the only way to find Shiro was with Voltron? Maybe that’s the only way they could defeat wherever held them back if they did find him. 

Keith sighed, “I’ll...try.” 

Pidge stood, “I thought you might.” she said, a sad smile on her lips, “Whenever you’re ready. We’ve all had our turns.” she said as she walked out. 

Keith buried his face in his hands, heaving a second sigh and willing away whatever tears wanted to form. He was doing this for Shiro. He was doing it to find him. 

* * *

 

It was almost no surprise that Keith was the one to pilot Black, but upon exiting her maw, he couldn’t help but wonder: 

“Who’s going to fly Red?” 

Allura shyly stroked her arm, “I…” she began, “Red was originally my father’s Lion.” she said. 

Keith offered her the slightest smile, “I’d be glad for her to go to you.” 

Allura brightened, and Keith couldn’t help but glance at the way Lance shuffled his feet. He was still sporting a decent bruise on his jaw. Keith thought he might have used the healing pod. Apparently not. It was both satisfying and saddening to see. 

Allura tried, and when she came out looking defeated, eyes and nose slightly red, everyone wilted. 

“It’s fine.” Allura said, tone wobbly, “Really...I suppose I wasn’t meant to pilot a Lion, is all.” 

Keith crossed his arms, “Allura, Red didn’t _immediately_ warm up to me. Maybe you should try again tomorrow?” 

Allura sighed, “I’d rather not get my hopes up.” she said as she brushed past them, “Excuse me.” 

Keith found her hours later, and he sat down beside her, sighing softly. “Hey.” 

Allura smiled over at him and then her frown was back. 

“Listen...I know I’ve been difficult lately-“ 

“Keith!” Allura gasped, “Oh no, no Keith you haven’t been _difficult_.” she turned to him in earnest, “You’ve been through hell! I can understand if you lash out or get emotional. I couldn’t possibly condemn you for that, if anything talking about it is the best thing to do, not scold you for having feelings.” 

Keith blinked, a little awed. “Oh.” 

Allura sighed, “I didn’t mean to get emotional over Red.” she said quietly, “It’s just...she was my father’s Lion.” 

Keith nodded. 

“I don’t think you need to apologize either.” Keith said. “But maybe try again?” 

Allura hummed, brows knit together, “I don’t think so. You _know_ when a Lion has chosen you.” 

Keith shrugged, “She ignored me when we first met.” he reminded gently.

“For a few _moments_.” Allura pointed out. 

“Granted.” Keith conceded, “But she also watched me fight...I think I just needed to win her over.” he said, “Either way...I think you should try again, just to be sure.” 

Allura looked at him, and then she stood to leave, “I’ll think about it.” she said. 

Keith nodded, and then after she left he rubbed his hand over his face. He hadn’t let it sink in yet that he was the Black Paladin now. It hurt to think about, but he was partially resigned to it. At least he knew for a fact that _he_ would be one-hundred percent willing to give her back as soon as Shiro returned.

Yeah, that did make him feel better about it. The anxiety over whether anyone would just _give up_ the Lion was gone. Now...now it was just a matter of waiting for Shiro to return, wherever he may be. 

His mind had conjured up so many scenarios of Shiro stranded somewhere, providing for himself, trying to find a way back. Of Shiro trapped, imprisoned, waiting for them to find him, god he hated that scenario. It meant they had been scouring the galaxies for months and still he was waiting. What did that feel like? 

Keith huffed himself at the thought, he hoped Shiro didn’t feel as if they’d abandoned him. 

God he fucking hoped…

* * *

 

Allura hesitated at the threshold, looking up at the magnificent Lion with trepidation and cautious optimism. Keith had a point. Red was the most stubborn of all the Lions. It made sense that maybe she wouldn’t just accept a rider out of nowhere. 

Allura cleared her throat and approached, it felt like Red was watching her even if she didn’t move an inch. 

Allura reaches out to touch her paw, smiling as she recounted the times she had played around this very room, when her father was working on Red, or even in her spare time. Red was always stationed at the castle, during those later years, the other Paladins took theirs with them oftentimes. 

“Remember back before the war?” Allura wondered, “You watched me grow up, you know.” she turned to rest her hip against the metal of Red’s paw, arms crossed. “I know I’m not Keith, I’m not my father, either.” she said, “I guess I can’t expect you to accept me just because of my heritage, or because I’m Keith’s friend.” 

Red was silent. 

“But maybe you’d accept me for me?” Allura glanced up at the Lion, waiting, “You know everything about me.” she prodded, “You know my intentions and my disposition, even though we spent ten thousand years separated, you still remember, don’t you?” 

The continued silence disheartened her, and Allura could only scoff at her own hopefulness. 

“At least I tried.” she whispered as she pushed off from the Lion. It was best, she supposed. Someone needed to pilot the castle and be available to create wormholes. Still...it had been a dream of hers. 

Allura gasped and stumbled forward at the nudge against her back, and spinning around she found Red kneeling down, a low purr rumbling through the bay. 

She could only stare in shock for the longest time, hands raised in wish to touch, and fear to. 

“Are...are you sure?” she wondered. 

Red gave a low growl, not intimidating, but Allura could understand what she meant by it. 

_‘You begged me and now you’re hesitant?’_

Allura gave an incredulous, giddy laugh and reached forward to press her hands to the muzzle of the Lion, heart leaping at the way she opened her maw to allow her inside. 

“Wow.” Allura chuckled, “You’re really a big softie, you know that?” she said as she trailed her hand along the walls on the inside, making her way to the pilot’s seat. At the soft growl she only hummed, “You really are like Keith.” she sat down in the seat and took ahold of the controls, “Want to show me the ropes?” she wondered coyly, and Red leapt up in anticipation. 

“Let’s go.” 

* * *

 

Keith was walking back to his room when he ran into him. He wasn’t in a good mood, he hadn’t been since Shiro left, but whatever slight contentment was in his heart was gone at that. 

Lance looked sheepish, and Keith made to go around him, “Thought you’d have used the healing pods.” Keith commented, noting his shiner was _still_ there. 

“I figured I deserved it.” 

Keith halted at that. Not having expected anything like that from Lance.

Lance cleared his throat, “Listen...I think I should apologize. I...I said some things that were out of line and-“ 

 _“Out of line?”_ Keith scoffed, “Yeah that’s one phrase for it.” he spun on his heel, arms crossed, “What the hell is your problem, anyway? Why do you hate me so much?” 

Lance shuffled from foot to foot, “Well...um…” he bit his lip, arms crossed the same as Keith’s. “I’m...jealous. I’m jealous okay? Look you’re better at everything than me, you’re everyone’s go-to, even back at the Garrison you had Shiro’s full attention, he’s kind of my hero, you know? You’re the one Black chose, you’re the one everybody picks when we have a choice between us. And I don’t know, I guess I always feel invisible around you.” 

Exactly as Shiro thought, and Keith wilted a little, frowning, “I’m _not_ better at everything.” 

Lance could only smile ruefully, “Tell that to everyone else.” 

“I never asked to be a go-to, or the Black Paladin...back then Shiro was my friend, my _only_ friend. And now Shiro _loves_ me, that doesn’t mean he never had time for anyone else.” Keith said, “You didn’t have to go the route you did, though. I would have been fine being friends, happy even. You just...antagonized me so much. Made it your mission to insult and degrade me. You kind of tended to my resentment, helped it grow.” Keith explained. 

Lance nodded. “Yeah, I guess I did.” 

“That’s not going away overnight.” Keith said sharply. 

Lance shrugged, “To be fair, my jealousy isn’t going anywhere either.” 

Keith hummed and took a step back, “Sorry for punching you.” 

Lance laughed at that, rubbing over the bruise, “Well, I _did_ kind of deserve it.” he said, “And it helped me see that maybe I’d painted you out all wrong in my head.” 

Keith managed a slight smile, “Huh, maybe I should do it again, for clarity’s sake.” 

Lance chuckled nervously. 

“I’m kidding.” Keith added.

“Yeah, I hope so. You don’t really know your own strength.” Lance said with a genuine smile, and then he sighed. “I’m sorry...I’ll try to be better.” 

Keith could only nod, “Okay.” 

“Okay then.” Lance shoved his hands in his pockets, and then he pulled one out to hold out for a handshake, “Ah...tentative friends?” 

Keith rolled his eyes, gone to shake his hand briefly, “Yeah, I guess.” he mumbled. And then they both stepped back from one another, awkward silence permeating before hasty goodbyes were said. 

Keith couldn’t help but give a small hum of a laugh as he reached his quarters, he supposed Iverson was wrong, he _could_ , in fact, punch his way out of _some_ problems. 

* * *

 

Allura trounced onto the bridge in full Paladin gear, Pink, because Keith still wore his red uniform. He couldn’t really bring himself to wear the black uniform, that would be beating a dead horse. He was the Black Paladin only temporarily, after all. 

“What are you wearing?” Pidge asked. 

Allura was practically bouncing on her toes, “My Paladin armor, of course!” she explained, turning to Keith, “You were right! Red accepted me!” she said. 

Keith smiled, a little melancholic over it, “That’s great, Allura.” 

“Thank you for encouraging me.” Allura said. 

“What?! Allura’s going to fly with us?” Lance exclaimed, looking rather excited and dreamy at the prospect. “Why pink?” he wondered. 

“It’s the color we wore on Altea to honor fallen warriors.” she explained, “I wear it to honor my father... _and-“_ she cut herself off with a brief glance Keith’s way and he bristled before he turned away. 

A transmission suddenly blared on the screen and everyone snapped to attention. 

“Voltron! We need your help!” 

* * *

 

“So…Zarkon has a son.” 

Keith curled his hands tight around the controls of his Lion. Watching the space where Lotor’s ship had disappeared to. 

“Wouldn’t have expected it of him but...it has been ten thousand years.” Hunk said. 

“Does that mean Zarkon _is_ dead?” Pidge wondered. 

“There’s no way to know for sure.” Allura said, “Not until the Empire proclaims this Lotor as Emperor. In any case, this is far worse than we ever could have imagined. And here I thought maybe we had overcome the biggest challenge.” 

“Hey, you flew Red really well, Allura.” Lance said.

Allura hummed in quiet delight, “Thank you, Lance.” 

Keith exhaled a ragged breath, “Regroup at the castle, we need to follow him.” he said as he turned his Lion about. 

“What?” 

“Keith, he literally just vanished.” Pidge said, “Like hyperspeed stuff.” 

“Jumps.” Coran corrected through the comms. 

“Yeah, he _did_.” Keith muttered, and then he couldn’t quite deny the way exhilaration filled him as he smirked, “And _I_ put a tracker on him.” 

“What?” 

“How?” 

Keith docked Black, “All the Lions have them.” 

“Yeah but-“ 

“Why do you think I let him hit me?” Keith wondered, and everyone exhaled either sighs or laughter. 

“I did think you were too good a pilot to just get smacked around like that.” Allura said.

Keith blushed, well ...he _did_ let Lotor get him once, but he _was_ genuinely struggling. Black was bigger than Red by a considerable margin, and while fast, she wasn’t quite _as_ fast. 

“Yeah, I guess.” he said, “Allura, want to get us a wormhole?” 

“Already on it.” 

Keith sat back in the seat and rested his head against it, eyes closed. 

It felt good to have a new goal, a hunt, so to speak. Maybe that was his Galra side, but there was also the possibility that this Lotor knew where Shiro was. Smug bastard. 

He really came out of nowhere. 

* * *

 

The fight went about as well as expected...which was to say crippling. Allura flew Red well, but combining into Voltron was a challenge. It took reorientating their entire mindset, knowing that this wasn’t the original team was hard enough, the circumstances only intensified the fight. 

In the end they didn’t defeat or capture Lotor. They didn’t discover anything new about him, but they did learn to form Voltron. 

They had a new enemy, they had a new challenge. And to be honest? Keith was rather glad. He needed something to focus on, he needed another goal besides throwing fancy parades and entertaining dignitaries, which he wasn’t the best at, still wouldn’t be even though he was the Black Paladin now, the leader. 

A small voice always whispered in his head that Shiro would be proud if he knew, and another felt guilty it had happened in the first place. 

Keith almost cried when he met Sven. It was like he had taken a ride back through time, but then he had spoken and when they realized they were in a different reality Keith wilted, staring longingly at the alternate counterpart to the man he loved who had absolutely no idea who the hell he was. 

It was painful, but Keith reminded himself that while Sven was an alternate version of Shiro, he wasn’t _his_ Shiro. It was...easier...to remain composed after that. 

Of course everything went to shit, and Lotor, who had not been seen since Thayserix, managed to swoop in on them and steal the comet when they returned to their reality. 

Keith entered the bridge, heaving a sigh and then coming to a stuttering halt when Allura looked up from where she was talking to Lance. 

Keith glanced between the two of them, clearing his throat, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” 

Allura shook her head, “It’s alright.” 

“What’s up?” Lance wondered.

Keith shifted from foot to foot, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay, Allura.” he said, “The Alteans in that reality...I could tell it affected you.” he hummed and added, “I thought you’d like to talk about it.” 

Allura smiled, “Thank you, Keith.” her smile went sad, “It was...exhilarating while it lasted, knowing there are Alteans somewhere out there, even if it’s not my reality. If only they hadn’t become the very thing we try to destroy in this reality.” she said. 

Lance made a noise, “Well what about you, Keith?” he wondered, “That guy was literally like...Swedish Shiro.” 

Keith winced, “First off, _never_ say that again-”

“Swedish Shiro?” 

Keith covered his eyes, shaking his head, “Secondly, yes. Um...thank you for...being concerned.” he awkwardly said, peering out from behind his hand, “I’m alright, though.” he said, a half-truth. He wouldn’t be truly alright until they found Shiro. 

Lance raised a brow, “You really are a terrible liar.” 

Keith bristled, opening his mouth to speak. 

“Hey, _come on_ you don’t get offended when Pidge says it! She talks about you alot, is all.” 

Keith blinked, “What...what does she say?” 

Lance thought about it for a couple seconds before he counted off on his fingers, “That you’re stubborn, a bad liar, she admires your devotion, and that you’re lovably stupid sometimes.” he said with a snicker, “Direct quote there.” 

Keith crossed his arms self-consciously, “Hmm.” was all he said. 

Allura chuckled softly, “Leave him alone, Lance.” she said with a soft smile, and Lance did so with a blush, turning to leave the room.

Keith raised a brow, “What was _that?”_ he pointed as the elevator slid shut, “Are you guys-?”

Allura stared at him for a moment, and then she startled, “What? _No._ No, I...he was just doing the same as you, checking up on me. And he’s mellowed out a lot since...well you know I’m not exactly sure when. He just has.” she chuckled again, “He’s not insufferable anymore.” 

Keith debated that with an _“Ehh…”_ he raised his hand and gave a so-and-so motion, “He’s not quite there yet.”

Allura only smiled again, standing with a sigh and looking out toward the stars. “Today feels like a dream.” 

Keith hummed, “More like a nightmare.”  he said. 

Allura conceded that with a nod, “I suppose, in a sense. But can you imagine? Dimensions have always been a theory, we know now that they are in fact real.” she sounded a little starstruck as she said that, “But yes, the Alteans, Lotor...Sven. It’s bittersweet, isn’t it?” 

Keith nodded, “I...wanted to talk to you about finding Lotor.” 

Allura sighed, “If it’s even possible. He’s a formidable force, even with Voltron.” 

“I think he might know where Shiro is.” Keith said.

Allura looked at him, startled, “What makes you think that?” 

Keith hunched his shoulders, “He targets me, when we fight. Or Black, rather, like he knows Shiro isn’t here. Why would he know that?” 

Allura frowned, “Well, you’re operating under assumption, but I would guess because he knows for a _fact_ that Shiro isn’t with us.” 

Keith nodded.

Allura considered it, “It’s plausible. But we have no solid proof, or leads, and he wasn’t even present on the day we lost him.” 

“Well we don’t know _that_ for sure.” Keith said, “He could have been on Zarkon’s ship.” 

Allura hummed, “Then why wouldn’t he have been fighting?” 

Keith shrugged.

Allura turned to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, “We’ll do our best, in any case, to capture him, Keith. Or to at least discover his whereabouts. I cannot promise we’ll find him, he’s slippery, difficult to battle, and he’s clever.” she said, “But if he does have Shiro, I’m certain we’ll get to the bottom of it eventually.” 

Keith relaxed a little, “Okay.” he murmured. 

Allura pat his shoulder and stepped back, crossing her arms, “Get some rest, Keith. You look exhausted.” 

Keith smiled, “So do you.” 

Allura only smiled and turned on her heel, “I’ll see you at breakfast.”  

* * *

 

It would turn out they hardly needed to delve down that path.

They were on a reconnaissance mission, in and out, easy as pie. The Galran bases they infiltrated were becoming less and less fortified with time. 

It was on the way back to the castle that Black turned abruptly, letting out a roar, and Keith stared at the view-screens in shock, feeling what she was trying to say. 

Something he had longed to hear for six months. 

 _“You found him.”_ he breathed. 

“What’s going on, Keith?” Allura asked.

Keith shook his head, looking at the coordinates on his monitor. “Get to the castle and get a wormhole going, _right now!”_ he ordered, thrusters at full. The team followed, and Keith quivered in place as he waited for Allura to get to the bridge. “I’m sending you the coordinates.” he said. 

The wormhole opened and Keith didn’t even dock at the castle. He simply turned and flew through it. 

The castle was quick to follow, and then on the other side was a Galra fighter. 

Black purred, and Keith exhaled a laugh, giddy, excited, nervous...terrified. He grasped onto the fighter and turned to head back into the castle. His heart was beating out through his throat, and he felt like he might throw up, felt like he might burst into tears, felt like heaven itself as he set the fighter down and rushed to leave Black’s cockpit. 

He planted his hands on the fighter’s canopy, searching for a way to open it and settling upon his bayard. 

 _“Shiro?!”_ he called as he pried the canopy open. 

The fighter was dark, and there was no answer. 

Keith’s stomach dropped, and he pushed the canopy open with a desperate cry, tossing his bayard aside and climbing in. “Shiro?” he grasped at his arms, pulling him up into his lap and taking his helmet off. A pool of long, black and white strands fell over his fingers as he cupped Shiro’s cheek, searching for a sign of response. 

Shiro wasn’t breathing. 

Keith turned to pull him out of the fighter, laying him down on the ground and frantically, with shaking fingers, pulling his armor off. He was vaguely aware of footsteps rapidly approaching, but he didn’t have the time to acknowledge them. He tossed the chestplate of the flight suit aside and began compressions. 

“Holy shit!” 

“Shiro!” 

Hunk was there in an instant, “I got this.” he said as he nudged Keith away and took over the compressions, and Keith went to give him mouth to mouth. 

“ _Please_.” Keith rasped as he sat back, throat tightening at the lack of response. “Come back.” he whispered, repeating the process again, and again-

Shiro coughed, and Keith pulled back with eyes wide in shock, elation. 

Shiro took in a deep, gasping breath, and Hunk sat back with a giddy laugh.

Keith was over him in an instant, hauling him into his lap and cupping his cheek with shaking fingers, exhaling a sobbing sort of laugh as Shiro opened bleary eyes and settled them upon him with a tired smile. 

“You came back.” Keith managed, choking on his breath and smiling wider than he probably ever had. “You came back to me.” he said again in reverence. 

“ _Keith…_ ” Shiro whispered.

Keith pulled him in for a kiss, no care for the fact that his face was streaked with tears, that Shiro was covered in grime. 

“Let’s take him to the med bay.” Coran’s voice said in the background.

Keith nodded and gently scooped Shiro up, grunting at the weight of him, but unwilling to let him go. “You’re going to be fine, Shiro.” Keith murmured to him, watched Shiro’s eyes fall shut, exhausted. “You’re going to be just fine.” 

It was a _miracle._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's back!! Say "Hi Kuron!" 
> 
> Lol, so this went way darker than I had initially planned it out, and I had to bullshit through so much vague context, but I'm happy with it, and now I can _finally_ get to one of my most anticipated chapters! Next chapter will be interesting for sure! 
> 
> Allura is the Red Paladin I don't accept criticism XD 
> 
> And Keith is not fond of all the parades and dinners and wooing people for a reason now...heh. Yeah that's a whole other can of worms he's going to have to open with Shiro...aside from Regris.
> 
> I'll probably expand on Lotor a bit more, in the show they literally only have like one video hail from him and that's about all they interact besides Lotor's solo monologues lol. Granted this story isn't necessarily about him but we'll see how it goes. Look at all the plot I threw myself into to write some goddamn mpreg! I'm hopeless. 
> 
> Art by me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...so we lost a few readers there. Tbh I expected that. I took a risk, but the events of last chapter are a part of the story, necessary to set up a chain of events, and that’s mostly all I’m going to say to correct what was _“gently”_ and not-so-gently accused of me. Yeah...a few people were mad, to put it lightly.
> 
> On that note...... **READ. THE. AUTHOR'S. NOTES.**
> 
> Seriously, it could save your life and your time. Authors will warn and tag and you can't get angry at author's if you failed to read the warning label.
> 
> Okay....
> 
> So this chapter is way longer than I thought and the ending I had planned wasn't coming soon enough so I figured might as well end this chapter at 25k instead of droning on until like 40k words lol cause that's how this was going. But that means the part I was looking forward to...one of the... _main events_ (¬‿¬) *wink wink*...of the story has to wait another whole chapter...*sigh*
> 
> Anyway! Time for some drama and some sex _(seriously a lot of sex I mean they're fairly short scenes but damn if Sheith didn't practically write themselves banging every damn chance they got)_ Enjoy!

Shiro woke with a start. 

Well... _that_ was surprising. For starters, he was _pretty_ sure he’d died, for a moment there. And secondly...he could barely remember what had happened. 

It took a moment of staring at the ceiling to realize the voice he was hearing was his own. He glanced over to find the source, and his breath was stolen to see _him_ sitting there. His rosy lips were wobbling, eyes glittering with unshed tears and downcast at the device in his hands. 

His video logs from the fighter, Keith was listening to them. 

Shiro stirred, and Keith looked up with a gasp, relief and joy shining more brightly than Shiro had ever seen in his face before (despite his tears). And he had come back from the dead once already. 

“ _Shiro_.” Keith breathed, and Shiro grunted as he all but dove onto him, hugging him, murmuring an apology at tugging the IV in his arm. 

Shiro brought his prosthetic up and stroked it over Keith’s back, a small smile on his lips as he turned his head and nuzzled into Keith. He smelled good, familiar, like spicy cinnamon and caramel. It made Shiro feel warm and fuzzy inside. There was no need to dwell on the _how’s_ and the _why’s_ of finding Keith or Keith finding him, he was just glad he was finally back home. Home in Keith’s arms. 

Keith pulled back and cupped his face, exhaling a watery laugh, “I like your hair.” he whispered, threading his fingers through it and eliciting a shiver out of Shiro, “New look?” 

“Kind of.” Shiro’s smile widened and he reached his metal fingers up to cup Keith’s face, gently urging him into reach. Keith hesitated, and Shiro blinked at the way he’d come to a stop before they could touch. 

Keith blinked similarly, and then he gulped, gaze shifting away briefly before he smiled nervously down at Shiro, “Sorry...just...still have to remind myself you’re really here.” 

Shiro relaxed at that, he was just scared Shiro would disappear. He knew he’d probably have the same fear if their roles were reversed. 

“I’m _pretty_ sure I am.” Shiro rasped. “Maybe you can help me make sure.” he added with a smile.

Keith didn’t hesitate at that, Shiro hummed and relaxed into the kiss. It was slow, tongues mingling, small noises of delight and contentment, but that was about it. 

Shiro began to grow sluggish after a few minutes, and Keith only pulled back with a quiet smeck to smile down at him, shushing him gently as he stroked his fingers through his hair, “Rest, Shiro.” was all he murmured, and Shiro couldn’t help but slip back into sleep. 

Keith rested his head on Shiro’s chest as he fell asleep, closing his eyes and listening to his heartbeat, so _strong_ after it had been so weak only days ago. He was getting better. He’d _be_ better within only a few more days. 

Keith sighed and turned to nuzzle against Shiro’s neck, taking a deep breath and shuddering at the way his scent flooded over him. It was so much stronger than he remembered, but it was him. It was wet earth and the fresh scent of rain after a summer shower, slightly minty, even, and Keith basked in it.. 

He just couldn’t believe he was back! It was like he was reminded every few minutes and every time, _every single time_ his heart would leap and his eyes would well with tears of joy. He had never been happier in his life. Well, maybe a few times, but not happy like _this._

Shiro may have been gone longer last time, but maybe it was youthful optimism, because Keith had never even _entertained_ the thought of him being dead. And him coming back was more triumphant than anything. Emotional, but triumphant. 

This time Keith hadn’t been able to _help_ but think, what with how fervently he was searching and how Shiro had simply vanished without the _slightest_ trace. He had to convince himself Shiro wasn’t dead, more than once. 

It made his return just that much sweeter. 

Keith looked up at him, sitting up to gently trace his fingers over the scar on his nose, down over his cheek, still a bit sunken in, he couldn’t imagine what Shiro had been through. Yet another hell. If _Keith_ had been through some shit...

“I love you so much.” Keith murmured. “I'm so glad you’re back.” 

* * *

 

Shiro woke again, this time in a bed. _His_ bed. He was in his room. 

Shiro rolled onto his back, and a shuffling beside him made him turn to smile at Keith where he was curled up beside him, fast asleep, one hand reaching out so his knuckles were brushing Shiro’s arm. 

“Keith?” he whispered, rolling onto his side, wincing a bit as he raised his hand. A glance at the bandage on his inner elbow reminded him of the IV, and he hummed as he brushed Keith’s hair away from his face. It was getting so _long_ , brushing over his shoulders instead of just kissing his neck. 

Speaking of kissing…

Shiro leaned down and brushed his lips over the apple of Keith’s cheek. 

“Keith, baby…” Shiro murmured, and Keith began to stir, stretching his legs out, face scrunching in sleepy confusion and strain at the way he rolled onto his back and stretched completely. “ _Hey_.” Shiro continued, “Hey, sleepy head.” 

Keith opened his eyes, so beautiful and vibrant and even more purple than Shiro remembered. But then, it had been so long since he’d seen him...hadn’t it? 

“Shiro.” Keith whispered, eyes already glittering with wetness and his lip wobbling again. He turned into Shiro’s space and scooted closer to cling to him, giving a great, wretched sob as he buried his face in Shiro’s chest. 

Shiro closed his eyes, wrapping his arm tight around Keith’s waist and breathing him in, listening to him quietly cry and sniffle. 

“I was s-so scared.” Keith said, muffled and wet, “I thought I lost you. I thought I lost you _again_.” 

“I’m here.” Shiro said, “I can’t believe it, but I am.” 

Keith shook his head, “Where _were_ you?” he asked, looking up, flushed and beautiful... _so beautiful_ even with the copious tears and snot. 

Shiro blinked at the question, lips parting as he actually thought about it, gaze shifting about nervously.

Where... _was_ he? 

Shiro frowned, panic budding in his chest. 

He looked down at Keith again, “I...I don’t _know_.” he rasped, and Keith looked confused. “I was on a Galra ship in the middle of nowhere...when I woke up.” Shiro said.

“Woke up?” Keith wondered. 

Shiro nodded, “All I remember is flying Black...fighting Zarkon, something _happened_ , I don’t remember. White light...p-pain. But I woke up like _this_.” he grasped at the end of his long hair pointedly, “And I escaped.” 

He barely sounded sure of himself, he knew, but it was the truth. That was exactly what had happened. 

What was that vision, then? Where he saw _himself?_ What about the pod of magenta fluid, the one that practically drowned him? 

Were those visions or memories? _Nightmares?_

He didn’t know a thing. And that _terrified_ him. 

“Shiro?” 

“Shiro _look at me,_ Shiro...you’re okay.” Keith was cupping his face with both hands, and Shiro blinked at him as he came back to himself, panting heavily, heart racing and his extremities cold with panic. “You’re okay. You’re _home_.” Keith repeated, kissing him once, twice, and then sitting up. 

“I...I don’t know what _happened_.” Shiro said, and Keith nodded.

“I know. It’s okay.” 

“I don’t know what the fuck happened to me, Keith. I was gone for... _months_. I was gone for so long.” Shiro laughed hysterically, “Was I asleep? All this time?” he asked Keith.

Keith looked helpless, shaking his head, “I-I don’t know, Shiro. Maybe? I looked for you everywhere.” he said, “It would...make sense that maybe you were in a coma. Maybe that _is_ what happened.” 

“Then wouldn’t I still be in Black?” Shiro wondered. 

“Black can teleport.” Keith mused, “Maybe that’s what happened. Maybe _you_ were teleported on accident, or something.” 

Shiro haltingly nodded, accepting it, but what felt like a fist closed around his heart. He felt like that wasn’t the whole story. Frustration could only build when he tried to uncover _why_ that was. 

 _The whole story doesn’t exist...you don’t know it. There’s_ **_nothing else_ ** _to it._

Shiro inhaled sharply, and then his anxiety was just.. _.gone._

He barely even remembered the voice that told him that it was so. 

“Are you hungry?” 

Shiro looked up at Keith, broken out of his reverie, “Huh?”

Keith smiled sadly, “You were in that fighter for a _week_ , and we’ve had you on fluids, nutrition, but it’s not the same, I know that.” he explained, “Want something to eat?” 

Shiro practically salivated, “U-um...yeah. Yeah that sounds-” he chuckled, “That sounds _incredible_ , actually.”

Keith slowly made to stand, “I’ll go get you some food, then.” he said, stretching his arms above his head and then turning another smile over his shoulder as he walked to the door. 

Shiro almost wanted to follow, but sitting up left him breathless, so he could only watch as Keith slipped out of the room. Leaving him alone in the dark with his thoughts.

* * *

 

A hearty meal (cooked specially by a gracious Hunk) and one or two glasses of water later and Shiro was laying on Keith’s lap, eyes closed while Keith threaded his fingers through his hair, twining it into small braids and humming absently as he did so. 

“Enjoying that?” Shiro mumbled.

“Mm.” Keith smiled, laying the braid down as he began another one. 

“Feels nice.” Shiro added, turning to nuzzle against Keith’s belly, thumb rubbing into his hip. 

Keith chuckled softly and leaned down to press a kiss to his hair. 

“L’prolly keep it if y’keep doin that.” Shiro added, slurring a bit when Keith scratched at his nape. 

“Were you going to cut it?” Keith wondered. 

Shiro lifted his head, “I’ve never, _ever_ had hair this long before.” he said, “Never really past my ears.” he added with a lazy grin. "The beard is going for sure." 

Keith chuckled, "This is scruff." he said as he cupped Shiro's jaw. 

"That's months of work!" Shiro exclaimed, and Keith only smiled at his playful indignance.

Keith brushed his thumb over his lower lip, and Shiro kissed it absently, instinctively. Keith hummed and smiled, fingers gone to thread through Shiro’s hair, push it out of his face. “It looks good on you.” he murmured.

Shiro snickered, “Yeah?” 

Keith blushed, and Shiro couldn’t help but feel a little smug at the way he ducked his head, _embarrassed._ “Um...yeah.” 

“Maybe I _will_ keep it, then.” he declared as he lay back down, “Even if it’s just to fluster you.” 

Keith scoffed, “You sure you don’t like the hair-playing, too?” 

Shiro shrugged, mumbling something that wasn’t exactly an affirmation (and wasn’t a denial either) into his stomach. 

“ _Mhm_.” Keith hummed in triumph.

Shiro shifted, clearing his throat, “So…” he began, tentative, “How long - exactly - was I gone?” 

Keith went still, and then he sighed, “Six and a half months, give or take a couple weeks.” 

Shiro hunched his shoulders, “Ah.” 

Keith bit his lip, “I looked for you, every day I could.” he whispered. “I _scoured_ the universe.” 

Shiro nodded, “I believe it.” he said in a choked up laugh. “You really would never give up on me? Huh?” 

Keith reached to cup his face, “ _Never_. Even...even when I was scared that maybe I was wrong, and maybe you _were_ dead.” he admitted bitterly, “Even then I couldn’t give up on you.” 

Shiro smiled, throat gone tight with emotion, “I...I’m glad, Keith.” he rasped, “I...I missed you. Even though I wasn’t awake, however long I was gone, I still missed you.” 

Keith’s eyes grew glossy and he cleared his throat, “I missed you too. So much, Shiro.” he said, smiling even as big fat tears rolled down his cheeks and he sniffled, “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Shiro said, slowly hoisting himself up to give Keith a kiss, heedless of the saltiness of his tears. “Love you so much, baby.” 

Keith whimpered at that, gone lax and languid beneath him, and Shiro followed him as he lay down on the mattress. Keith followed with the way he lead, and Shiro reached down to grasp Keith’s hip, slim and perfect under his hand. Keith gasped as he gently rolled their hips together.

“ _Ah_...Shiro...you should rest.” Keith broke away with wide eyes to say. 

Shiro exhaled heavily, even just a little heavy petting having gotten him breathless. God, he felt so _weak_ and he didn’t want to admit Keith was right. 

“I don’t really _want_ to stop.” he panted, giving a coy grin. 

Keith scoffed and turned his gaze to the side, looking rather (if Shiro didn’t know better)...ashamed? 

“I don’t really want you to stop, either...but...I _do_ want you healthy and rested.” Keith murmured, “Please?” he looked back at Shiro with the same plea in his eyes. 

Shiro stared back for a moment, and then he nodded, slowly laying down on his side next to Keith, hand on his hip dragging him in close. “Don’t blame me if I wake you up tomorrow.” 

Keith giggled, a tinge of nervousness in his tone that Shiro couldn’t help but dwell on, “Wake me up for sex?” he wondered. 

“Exactly.” Shiro leaned in to kiss lazily at Keith’s jaw, tired...exhausted.

“I wouldn’t be mad.” Keith whispered. 

“No, I bet you wouldn’t.” Shiro said as he started to fall asleep. 

“See?” Keith said in amusement, “You’re _already_ passing out.” 

“Shuddup.” Shiro mumbled, nuzzling into Keith’s neck. “Y’smell good.” he added.

“I get that a lot.” Keith said, it was the last thing Shiro caught before he fell asleep.

* * *

 

Keith exhaled shakily as Shiro fell asleep, taking slow, careful breaths to quell the hiccuping of the sobs he couldn’t quite hold back. 

Having Shiro back was incredible, it was all he had dreamed of for months. And now he was here, kissing Keith and touching him and _wanting_ him and he just didn’t _know._

Keith’s chest seized with terror when Shiro had ground their hips together, it was something he had never felt before. Not in any situation similar and certainly never with Shiro. It made him panic, and he had to stutter out that goddamn excuse because _how_ could he go through with it with the shame clouding his mind? How could he let Shiro _touch him_ after what he’d done? How _could_ he without letting Shiro know first? 

And that was the problem. He just wasn’t _ready_ to tell him yet. Not at all. God he wished so desperately he didn’t even _have_ to tell him but-

He could never keep it a secret. _That_ was already perfectly clear to him. 

Keith wiped at his face and sighed as Shiro nuzzled into his neck again, mumbling something unintelligible. 

“Goddamnit.” Keith whimpered.

* * *

 

They were both woken to a loud blare of the alarm, and Keith all but leapt out of bed while Shiro jumped and propped himself on his elbow, blinking sleepy eyes at Keith as he pulled his Paladin suit on. 

“So much for morning sex.” Keith teased over his shoulder as he pulled his armor on. 

Shiro smiled wearily, and then he frowned, “Wha-wait! Who’s flying Black?” he asked. 

Keith paused, turning to him nervously as he shifted in place, “ _I_ am.” he said sheepishly. 

Shiro blinked, “What about Red?” 

Keith smiled faintly at that, “She’s taken to Allura.” 

Shiro blinked again, “So who’s flying the castle?” 

“ _Coran_.” Keith said with a giggle, “I gotta _go_ , Shiro.” he rushed over to plant a kiss on Shiro’s dumbfounded face. 

“Uh...y-yeah okay.” Shiro stuttered, absently chasing after lips that were already long gone, and then just as Keith was opening the door: “Hey.” 

Keith looked over his shoulder.

Shiro smiled softly, “I’m proud of you.” 

Keith blushed, smiling and turning away so Shiro wouldn’t see the shame that streaked across his face. 

“Thanks.” he rasped as he left.

He really fucking needed to tell him. Every time he looked at his face the joy was underlined by guilt, sharp anger at himself even though he knew it wasn’t his fault, nor something he wanted. 

But how did he tell Shiro that? How did he tell him about Regris? How did one even bring that up?

Keith couldn’t do this.

* * *

 

Keith sat down on the bed later, and Shiro stirred. 

Keith bit his lip and began removing his gloves, then each piece of armor, one by one. 

Shiro yawned and Keith turned a smile his way. 

“You slept through all that?” Keith wondered. 

Shiro sat up, hair rumpled, and smiled at Keith. “I was more tired than I thought.” he rasped. 

“Yep. Because you spent a week in a fighter without food or water.” Keith said matter-of-factly. 

Shiro hummed, “Yeah I guess so.” 

“You want some breakfast?” Keith wondered. 

“Sure.” Shiro nodded. 

“You feel like going to the dining room? I’m sure Hunk will make something special.” Keith prodded. 

Shiro furrowed his brow, “Uh…” 

Keith softened, placing a sympathetic hand on his leg, “You don’t have to. Just letting you know you’re welcome.” he said. 

Shiro bit his lip, “Maybe...not today?” he said. 

Keith nodded, “Okay. There’s no rush.” 

“I just...I don’t feel like letting everyone see me like this.” Shiro said. 

“Like what?” Keith asked, confused.

Shiro shrugged, “Unkempt? Weak.” he murmured. 

Keith hummed, “Well...I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. I once told Allura that the rest of us would relate better to someone who shows their vulnerabilities.” 

Shiro stared at him in surprise for a moment, and then smiled at him, “That doesn’t quite sound like you.” 

Keith chuckled softly, gently socking Shiro in the shoulder and eliciting a laugh from him, “It’s something I learned from _you_.” he said, and Shiro looked startled. 

“Yeah, I learned a lot from you, remember? You _were_ my mentor, once, after all.” 

Shiro scoffed and blushed, “Feels like forever ago. Almost not like it even happened at all.” 

Keith scooted closer, “Well, at least I remembered the things you taught me.” he said. 

Shiro nodded, “Yeah. I’m glad, Keith.” he said, “You’re a good person, and I don’t think you owe _all_ of that to me.” 

Keith gulped at the praise, and then shrugged, “Half you, half my dad. Still the same.” he mumbled. 

Shiro sighed, “Are you still going to breakfast?” 

Keith shook his head, “Not without you.” he said, “I’ll eat back here with you. I...don’t want you to be alone.”

Shiro accepted the way Keith cupped his cheek, brushing his thumb over his lips where they were still sleep-swollen and lax. Keith pressed a sweet kiss to them, and then he stood. “I’ll be back. 

Shiro nodded and watched him go.

* * *

 

Shiro was asleep again a couple nights later, and Keith gently extracted himself from the bed, watching carefully for a hitch in breath or a stir. But Shiro remained undisturbed. 

Keith slipped out of the room and exhaled raggedly, turning on his heel to find Coran. He needed to talk to him. He needed...he needed assurance that he could do this, that Shiro would understand. Because Keith was _terrified_ he wouldn’t. Yeah, now that Shiro was back, the guilt was _so much_ harder to dismiss, the fear was a lot harder to quell. 

Seriously, how did that _look?_

“ _Oh while you were gone I was forced into heat and the only way to break that is to fuck some Galran alpha. And I **did**.” _

How would that come across? 

Keith couldn’t shake it, the anxiety was too much but each second Shiro didn’t know was another second Keith was burning up inside with guilt. He _needed_ to know. Keith _wanted_ to tell him. He was just too afraid. 

Keith knocked at Coran’s door, and it slid open a few moments later, the man looked ready for bed. 

“Hello, Keith. How are you, my boy? And Shiro?” 

Keith followed as he was ushered inside, clearing his throat. “He’s fine. I’m... _okay_.” he murmured, “I just...I haven’t told him yet.” 

Coran was quiet for a moment, and then he led Keith to sit, sighing as he settled beside him. “You don’t have to tell him immediately, you know. You can wait a few days. He’s delicate right now.” 

Keith shook his head, “But...it hurts when he kisses me, I can’t...I can’t take letting him touch me like I _never-_ “ he broke off to bury his face in his hands. “How do I _tell_ him? How do I _not_ tell him?” 

Clean rubbed a soothing circle over his back, “It’s alright, Keith.” he said, “Shiro won’t love you any less for this, you know that.” 

“I’m so scared.” Keith rasped, not quite at tears, but emotional. 

“Would you prefer _I_ tell him? Maybe it would come across better from a medical perspective.” Coran offered.

Keith shook his head, “No. No he _deserves_ to hear it from me.” 

“Perhaps _both_ of us?” Coran added. 

Keith could only refuse, “No. No. Thank you, but I can do it.” he said, “I just...You _really_ think he won’t blame me? You’re _sure?”_ he asked, searching Coran’s eyes for even the slightest hesitation or hint of a lie. 

Coran only softened, smiling warmly and sympathetically down at Keith. “Shiro _loves_ you.” he said, “He would still love you no matter what you did. Wouldn’t you say the same for him?” 

Keith gave a sharp bark of a laugh, wet with emotion as he turned to hug himself and stare down at the floor, “If Shiro slept with someone else I’d be _heartbroken_ . But I wouldn’t...I _wouldn’t_ hate him.” he declared with a nod. And then he sighed, “I don’t _want_ to break his heart.” 

Coran gently drew him into a hug, “Of course you don’t, Keith.” he said, “But it is as you said...he deserves the truth. And if he’s even half the man I believe him to be, he’ll take it with grace, maybe he’ll be hurt for a while. But you know that man could never hold it against you, especially if he knows it’s not your fault. Alright, sweet boy?” 

Keith nodded, humming a soft laugh as he pulled away, “Okay.” he rasped, “Thank you.” 

“Of course.” Coran said.

Keith smiled up at him, “You know, through everything that’s happened, you’ve been like a second dad to me.” he murmured. 

At that Coran blinked, and then his eyes grew glossy. “Oh-well, _Keith-I_...I-“ 

Keith hugged him again, and Coran gently pat his head. “I’m _going_ to tell him. Maybe not tonight, maybe not even tomorrow, but soon.” he said. 

“Whenever feels right.” Coran said, voice wobbling, and Keith only smiled again as he pulled away.

“Thank you, again.” Keith said, “I don’t think I’d have made it this far without you.” he stood and heaved a sigh.

Coran smiled and gestured for him to continue on his way, “ _Oh_...go on, I’m certain you’ll do great.” 

Keith left with a modicum of determination in his heart, still anxious as all hell and almost quivering with it. But he felt a little better. Coran always knew what to say.

He slipped back into bed with Shiro, and the man groaned and curled an arm around his waist, pulling him in to nuzzle into the back of his neck. “Where’d y’go?” 

Keith gulped, “I got a little thirsty.” he murmured, wincing at the lie. 

Shiro hummed and Keith’s breath hitched when he splayed his hand under Keith’s shirt and trailed metal fingers down in a languid slide. 

“This okay?” Shiro whispered against his ear. 

Keith nodded a little, “Y-Yeah. Of course.” he said. 

Shiro paused, and Keith held his breath, eyes wide as he stared at the opposite wall. “Keith...you’re shaking.” 

Keith only realized it after he pointed it out. And he could only part his lips, utterly unable to say anything. 

Shiro gently turned Keith onto his back, brows furrowed in confusion and eyes searching Keith’s face for an answer. “Something’s wrong.” he said. It wasn’t a question, and Keith closed his eyes, hands fisting beside his head. 

“Shiro…” 

“Are you alright?” Shiro wondered, “You’re pale.” 

Keith bit his wobbling lip, “Um...would you...forgive me if I did something...if something _happened-_ “ 

Shiro cupped his face, and Keith blinked up at him, gulping over the lump in his throat. “What are you talking about, baby?” 

Keith shook his head, “I...can’t answer now. Please, I need time.” he rasped. 

Shiro sat back, features twisted in confusion, concern, a little fear. “Okay?” he offered, and then he went to lay down beside Keith, hand stroking over Keith’s arm. “Can...you tell me if you’re okay?” he asked. 

Keith scoffed a laugh, “I’m...alright.” he said, “Just...it’s hard to tell and I’m scared you’ll hate me-“ 

“Hey-shh.” Shiro turned his head with gentle fingers, “ _What?_ I could _never_ hate you, Keith.” he insisted, “No matter what.” 

Keith sighed as a few tears slipped over his cheek, “No matter what? Like..worst of the worst?” he clarified in a watery, wry laugh.

Shiro gave him a sad, but assuring smile, leaning down to kiss him sweetly, “I’m here. When you’re ready.” 

Keith exhaled a shaky sigh and nodded, looking tragic and beautiful all at once. “Okay.” he rasped. 

Shiro watched him turn his face into the pillow, anxiety welling in his chest, because…

What _was_ that? 

Keith had never, _ever_ reacted to him like that before, even back during their first heat together, after he found out about his heritage. No, this time he looked positively _terrified_. 

Shiro stroked his hand over Keith’s arm, watched him hiccup softly a couple times, and contemplated the possibilities. What could have _possibly_ happened that Keith was so torn up over? So terrible that he was scared Shiro would _hate_ him? 

At first his thoughts were rather scattered, and then he stopped on one particular thought. 

“Did someone _hurt_ you?” 

Keith startled under his hand, and Shiro bit his lip, not having meant to speak it aloud just yet. 

Keith hunched his shoulders and turned further into the pillow, and Shiro’s heart sank at the silent confirmation. 

He didn’t want to be _right_ about his suspicions. But it made sense...every time he’d done anything remotely beyond kissing him since he got back Keith had reacted hesitantly, or - as of right now - scared. Goddamnit. 

“Sorry...I...you don’t have to answer.” Shiro murmured, leaning down to kiss his shoulder. 

Keith was silent for a moment, and then he rolled over, nuzzling into Shiro and hiding his face in his chest rather than the pillows. 

That made him feel a bit better. Less like Keith was hiding from _him_ and more like he was hiding from whatever dark secret he apparently had now. His grip tightened on Keith, jaw working furiously at the thought. 

Someone hurt Keith. 

Someone _dared_ to hurt Keith. His best friend, his lover…

 _My mate_. 

Shiro stifled a growl at the thought, stroking his fingers through Keith’s hair until he went lax and fell asleep. He pressed a kiss to Keith’s head, watched him whine in his sleep and snuggle closer, hugging him tight. 

He was getting to the bottom of this.

* * *

 

Kolivan was easy to find. 

Shiro was still rather weak, and he was breathless as he sat down across from the Blade on the empty bridge. He was discussing something with one of his fellow Blades, Antok, he was pretty sure it was. 

Shiro cleared his throat, and Kolivan looked up. 

“What happened to him?” Shiro asked without hesitation or preamble.

Kolivan stared at him, and Shiro watched as he blinked, sniffing once or twice before he regained his apathetic expression. Kolivan glanced sidelong at Antok and the masked Blade took his leave. Kolivan heaved a sigh, eyeing Shiro up and down, “You are referring to Keith?” 

Shiro stared at him in a deadpan, a silent way to say: _“Duh.”_

Kolivan crossed his arms, “He hasn’t told you?” 

Shiro crossed his arms similarly, “No.” 

“Has he volunteered _any_ information?” Kolivan asked. 

Shiro shook his head, “He said he’ll tell me.” 

“Then you should wait for him to tell you.” Kolivan said, sitting back as if the conversation were over.

Shiro grit his teeth, taking a deep breath, “Did someone...did someone take advantage of him?” 

Kolivan looked startled, and then he tilted his head, “What brings you to this conclusion?” 

Shiro huffed, “He’s...nervous...when I try to... _touch_ him.” he explained haltingly.

Kolivan sighed, “I’m afraid I can’t ease your conscience by telling you anything. I think you need to wait for Keith to be comfortable telling you.” 

Shiro turned his head, having expected this answer. Still, he needed to try. He just...he had to know what was wrong. “Sorry, I _know_ I shouldn’t have asked. I-I just...I’m worried for him.” 

“Of course you are.” Kolivan said, dipping his head, “Trust him to tell you himself when he’s ready.” 

Shiro straightened, “I _do_ trust him.” he asserted. 

Kolivan hummed, “Then why are you here?” 

Shiro reeled at that, standing up in a flustered scramble. He stood there for a moment, floundering to say something, and then he turned to leave. He cast one look over his shoulder before he made his way back down the halls to his room. 

Fuck. 

Fuck, Kolivan was right. 

What was he _thinking?_ Trying to go behind Keith’s back? 

Sure, he was out of his mind with worry, so much so he had a headache...well, that had actually been there since he woke, but that wasn’t an excuse. God it really wasn’t. Shiro entered his room and went to sit on the bed, slumping with exhaustion and his mental strife. He couldn’t believe he had just tried to invade Keith’s privacy like that, and without a second thought! 

He buried his face in his hands and sighed.

Okay. He was going to remain calm. He was going to be patient...he was going to let Keith feel like he could trust him, that whatever this secret was, he wouldn’t care. Even though he already had a partial confirmation of what had happened...how on _earth…_?

Shiro lifted his head, sitting up straight and clearing his throat when Keith walked in, looking tired and sheepish. 

Keith walked over to him and sat down, “Hey. I was looking for you.” 

Shiro nodded, “I went for a walk. Sorry I...wanted to see if I could.” he said. 

At least that was _partially_ true. 

Keith leaned into him, exhaled a deep sigh, “I’m sorry about last night.” he whispered, “I...I’ll tell you...I _want_ to tell you. It’s just-it’s hard to say.” 

“I’ll wait.” Shiro said, reaching up to cup Keith’s face. 

Keith turned his gaze downcast, violet eyes saddened and shifting to and fro almost frantically. “Okay...okay.” he mumbled. 

“Keith?” Shiro wondered, “You don’t have to tell me _now-_ “ 

“I was kidnapped.” Keith said quickly.

Shiro gaped at him, his heart skipping a beat. 

Keith waited a moment, still staring at the ground, “They... _used_ something on me. And I...went into heat.” he blinked and looked up at Shiro, “That’s...not all.” 

Shiro held up a hand, and Keith paused, looking stricken, terrified, face flushing red before he went pale. 

Shiro hesitated, and then he took both of Keith’s hands in his own, “Sorry, baby. I’m barely-I’m processing what you just said.” he murmured, heart racing as he watched Keith realize he was still listening to him, he wasn’t upset. 

Okay maybe he was a _little_ upset, angry already at what little he knew. But how couldn’t he be? 

He took a deep breath, “They… _forced_ you into heat?” he asked, and Keith gave a nod, gulping heavily. Shiro searched his eyes, he could see there was more, a lot more. “Why?”

“Because omegas are...precious to the Galra...and they wanted concrete proof I _was_ one.” Keith whispered. 

Shiro took another slow breath, uncertain at the wave of fierce anger and protectiveness he was feeling. It was overwhelming, terrifying. 

 _“Why?”_ he prodded. 

Keith bit his lip and shook his head as his eyes started to glitter with moisture, “ _Uh-um…_ ” he began shakily, “They were trying to get a G-Galra General to leave them alone and they sent him something I... _used..._ to prove it. And to make him leave them alone. Hostage situation...you know.” Keith shrugged, though his forced nonchalance was utterly transparent. It was obvious he was more than deeply affected. 

Shiro nodded, hesitating once, and then he drew Keith into a hug. “Oh Keith.” he whispered, “I wouldn’t hate you for _that_. I wouldn’t even...like, _mildly dislike_ you.” he added to try and elicit a laugh, diffuse the tension. 

Keith went stiff, and then he made a choking sob of a noise, and Shiro stroked his hand over his back soothingly, concerned.

“No...I said...I said it wasn’t _a-all._ ” Keith rasped. “That’s n-not all, Shiro.” 

Shiro bit his lip, ice spreading through his limbs. There really was only one conclusion to draw from this. “Okay.” he whispered. “Okay, Keith.” 

“Fuck...Shiro.” Keith whimpered. “It’s _not_ okay.” 

“Tell me, baby.” Shiro murmured into his hair, hugging him tighter. 

Keith turned his head into Shiro’s chest, scoffing over his wet breath. “The chemical they use...it’s irreversible.” he began, “I mean...I mean the _doctors_...can’t reverse it. But-“ he paused, “A-Anyway it would have just kept _going_ and going and I would have...exhaustion could have killed me. And I-I had to decide...I had to decide which alpha from the Blades would... _help_ me.” 

Shiro stared at the wall. 

“It’s something to do with the-the pheromones alphas release...ah...during, they can't seem to replicate it. Not for lack of trying, Ulaz told me. Guess the omega's receptors  _know_ it’s inorganic or some sh-shit like that.” Keith laughed humorlessly. And Shiro nodded, gulping over the lump in his throat. “I...you met the guy. Once.” Keith added, and then he scoffed, but Shiro felt his smile against his skin. “He kind of fell in love with me for it. And I had to turn him down. He knew the whole time that I would. I knew from the beginning I would have to. But it was still hard to do. Y’know? Like-“ Keith stopped to sniffle and wipe at his face, “Like you can't _help_ but form a bit of an attachment. It’s...it’s...anyway-I, um...yeah. I slept with him. A _few_ times to break the heat and...then we parted ways and it’s _not_ gonna happen again.” he finished with a sigh, “ _Ever_.”

Shiro held his breath, trying to process this.

Keith shifted at his prolonged silence.

_“Shiro?”_

Oh _that_ hurt. 

That _hurt_. 

He sounded too small, too demure and _afraid_. 

“Yeah? Y-Yeah Keith?” Shiro cleared his throat and gently sat back, just to see Keith’s face. 

“ _Say_ something?” Keith pleaded, gaze downcast. 

Shiro exhaled shakily, and Keith looked up, eyes wide and watery and searching him for his reaction. 

Shiro closed his eyes and took another deep breath. “You...there was no other option?” he whispered. 

Keith furrowed his brows and pulled out of his lap, drew his knees up to his chest and turned away. “Of _course_ there wasn’t, or I would have _taken it._ You _know_ that, Shiro.” he said sharply, _shakily,_ like he was trying not to sob. “You know I _wouldn’t-_ “ his voice broke and he shook his head as he looked away completely. 

Shiro sighed and reached for Keith’s hand, “That...that’s not what I meant, baby.” he said, _“Baby?”_ he prodded as Keith tilted his head up and smiled mirthlessly, incredulously shaking it. He was trying to close himself off like he used to when he was younger. “Keith, _please_ look at me.” 

Keith shook his head and turned to bury it in his arms and his knees. 

“Keith.” Shiro pried his hand under Keith’s chin before he could, let him feel that he wasn’t going to force him, and then he gently turned his head. “I’m sorry it sounded that way. I just...wanted to hear you say it one more time.” he said, watching Keith hesitate before he slowly looked up. Shiro took a deep breath, smiling weakly at him. 

Keith stared up at him for a moment, and then he licked his lips, gulping, “There wasn’t any other way.” he said with finality. “It was my only option.”

Shiro held his gaze for a moment longer, and then he relaxed, not exactly able to keep his eyes from welling with tears. “Okay. Okay, baby.” he exhaled, “I’m _so sorry_.” 

Keith whimpered, “ _I’m_ the one who-“

“Don’t you _dare_.” Shiro all but growled, blinking rapidly and clearing his throat, “You-“ he poked Keith in his chest, and Keith’s breath hitched, “ _You’re_ the victim here. _You. Are._ You understand me?” 

Keith nodded slightly. 

“You said it wasn’t your fault. You had no choice. Me being _mad?”_ he laughed wetly, “Baby...you were practically _raped_ , even _if_ you picked the person. It was _not_ consensual, and me blaming you? Being mad? _Hating_ you?” Shiro shook his head, “I’m _upset_.” he rasped, voice cracking, and Keith’s face crumpled. Shiro watched him start to cry in earnest, and he drew him into a hug, “Of course I’m upset. But I’m _not_ angry with you.” he murmured. 

Keith gave a soft wail and Shiro exhaled as a few tears escaped the composed exterior he was trying so hard to convey. 

“It’s okay baby.” he whispered, and Keith nodded vigorously. “I’m so sorry-I-I can’t _believe_ that happened to you…I should have been here.”

Keith sobbed against his shirt, clutching onto it like a lifeline, and Shiro stroked his hand over his back. 

He wasn’t angry. 

He’d already come to this conclusion in his own head before Keith confirmed anything and-

It was just a little worse than he’d thought. Keith being forced to choose someone like _that_. It was enough to make him never want anyone else to touch him again. Shiro gave a soft noise of distress and pulled Keith a little closer, if it were even possible, leaning in to nuzzle over his neck where his scent was the strongest. He had such...such a strong urge to _bite_...bury his teeth there-

Let them _know_ Keith was _his_.

Shiro blinked and pulled away with another awkward clearing of his throat. He cupped Keith’s cheeks, wiped thumbs under both his eyes, he smiled at Keith’s flushed face, eyes swollen and red, nose shiny and his lips wet with how many times he’d probably bitten or nervously licked at them. 

“ _Hey_.” Shiro murmured. 

Keith barked a watery laugh, features twisting again. 

“I still love you. No less than ever, okay?” Shiro said, fighting a sob over it. “You’re my boyfriend. You’re...you're my _mate_.” Shiro added fiercely, and Keith’s eyes went a little wide, lips parting in surprise. “Nothing is changing that. Nothing at all. Especially not-not something like this. _Never_.” Shiro added, “Okay?” 

Keith nodded, exhaling a sigh. 

Shiro smiled, tracing his thumb over Keith’s lip, and he glanced up to his eyes, a little sheepish in asking, “Can I kiss you, baby?” 

Keith blinked, and then he nodded, wiping at his face with the sleeves of his jacket. 

“You’re fine.” Shiro gently batted his hands away. Keith stared up at him in what looked like infatuation and shock as Shiro leaned in and kissed him fiercely, insistently. And Keith made a noise that prompted him to pull back, not wanting to overwhelm him. “ _We’re_ fine.” Shiro added with a decisive nod, and Keith laughed softly. 

“Okay.” Keith rasped. 

Shiro pulled him in for another hug, “Okay.” he repeated, burying his fingers in Keith’s hair and staring down at the rumpled blankets as Keith nuzzled into his shoulder and hiccuped with the remnants of his emotions. Shiro himself wasn’t over them. His anger was boiling deep in his chest, and he was too weak right now to channel it at something. He wanted to lay waste to the training deck. He wanted to hunt down every last soul responsible for Keith’s pain and...and-god he wanted to tear them to shreds. 

Okay maybe that was a little too much. He just...he couldn’t help but desire some sort of retribution. 

He probably wouldn’t _ever_ get it. 

But God help them if he ever found out exactly _who_ was responsible.

* * *

 

Keith woke with Shiro’s arm around his waist, and that tight, agonizing feeling in his chest, the one that had festered over the past week, was just...gone. 

Keith smiled and turned his face into the pillow. He felt better. 

He felt _so_ _much_ better. 

Shiro wasn’t mad at him, Shiro _understood_ , like Coran said he would. Shiro didn’t blame _him_ , he blamed the people who _did it_ to him. Keith exhaled a shaky, watery sigh at that, rolling in place to face Shiro, to trace his fingers over his face and down to parted, sleep-puffy lips. 

Shiro stirred, mumbled, and Keith leaned in to kiss him. Felt him wake under his touch, and Keith smiled sheepishly as he pulled back and Shiro blinked bleary eyes at him. 

“Hi.” Keith whispered. 

Shiro stared at him for a moment, and then he heaved a sigh, smiling back and stroking a hand over his face, thumb rubbing over the apple of his cheek. “Hey, baby.” he murmured. “How are you feeling today?” 

Keith raised a brow at the question, “Perfectly fine?” he offered, and Shiro cleared his throat. 

“Sorry...I was just...h-how long has it been?” he wondered. 

Keith shifted and cast his gaze down at some point on Shiro’s shirt, “Um...a couple months now.” he said, “I’m _fine_ , Shiro. And...I don’t really...it’s just now that I’ve told you and I _finally_ feel like I have it off my chest-“ he paused to take a breath, closing his eyes, “Can we...try to forget about it? _Please?”_

Shiro was silent long enough that Keith looked up at him, and then Shiro gave a jerky nod, “Okay.” he sighed. 

Keith relaxed, and then he smiled again, “How are _you_ feeling?” 

Shiro scoffed and drew Keith in close, forehead to forehead, and shrugged, “Not terrible.” 

Keith hummed, “That’s not very reassuring.” he muttered. 

Shiro sighed again, “Just...not _too_ tired. Not as much as I was, anyway.” he said.

Keith nodded, “Do you...want to go say hi to everyone?” 

Shiro shifted in place and cleared his throat, “I’m filthy.” he whispered. 

Keith hummed a laugh at that, “Then come here.” he sat up and Shiro blinked up at him as he stood and stretched his arms over his head. Keith smiled down at him and offered him his hand, and Shiro hesitated once before he took it. “Come on.” Keith pulled and Shiro stood up from the bed. He followed when Keith lead him, and Keith laughed softly as he got him in the bathroom and gently pulled his shirt up. Shiro let him pull it over his head. Keith leaned in and rested his forehead against Shiro’s collar once he had him shirtless, hands roaming and just _feeling_. 

“One might think you have ulterior motives.” Shiro said teasingly as Keith stroked a hand over his pectoral and squeezed a little. 

Keith shook his head, turning a soft smile Shiro’s way, “Nope. Just a shower.” he said, hooking his fingers in the waistband of Shiro’s pants and pulling them down. 

Shiro’s breath audibly hitched when Keith pressed a kiss to his hip on the way down. Keith paused over the reddened scar on his leg, stroking tentative fingers over it, partially healed by the pods.

“You gonna ask how it happened?” Shiro wondered. 

Keith glanced up, “I was curious. But…” he shrugged, pressing a sweet kiss to the palm-shaped scar. 

“It’s not a crazy story, just...had a bad cut after I crashed, and I needed to stop the bleeding.” Shiro said, "Hot, glowy hand." he shrugged, lifting his prosthetic. 

Keith winced, “I’m sorry.” he said, giving it one more kiss before he stood. 

“It’s really nothing.” 

Keith hummed and turned to start the shower. Unlike Shiro, he just had his boxers, so he shucked them with ease and then grabbed Shiro’s hand again. Shiro hummed a chuckle as Keith got them under the spray. They both sputtered under the way the water plastered their hair to their faces, and Keith laughed, pressing his face to Shiro’s neck and heaving a sigh. “Now you know how I feel.” he said. 

“This might be a dealbreaker.” Shiro said, and Keith looked up to see his curtain of hair covered his eyes. 

He barked a laugh and shook his head, “Aww.” he pouted, “I like it.” 

Shiro smiled, swiping his hair aside, “I’ll keep it if you really like it.” he said.

Keith blushed and shrugged, “I wouldn’t make you do anything you don’t want to.” he said. 

Shiro wrapped both hands around his waist and Keith bit his lip as he pulled their hips flush together. Shiro leaned in close to murmur, “And what if what I _want_ is to please you?” 

Keith exhaled shakily, he’d be lying if he said his brain didn’t short-circuit a little at that, “Um…” 

Shiro could only grin, “What’s it about my hair that you get so blushy about, anyway?” he wondered as they swayed lazily under the water. 

Keith stuttered, legitimately stuttered over his words, utterly flustered, and fuck if it wasn’t embarrassing. “I...I d-don’t…”

Shiro leaned in to kiss at his cheek, down to his jaw, “There’s gotta be something.” he said. 

“Well, it’s pretty.” Keith mumbled, and then exhaled a soft laugh, “And...y-you know when you pull my hair?” 

Shiro bit his lip as he pulled back, “Is that really it? You just wanna pull my hair?” he clarified, “Like...during sex.” 

Keith all but gasped at him, “Yeah...I mean-no! I just-I like it and it suits you and…” he trailed off to duck his head, “It’s kinda hot when you do it.” he mumbled.

Shiro laughed and hugged Keith, “I’ll keep it.” he said.

Keith wriggled in his hold, and Shiro released him almost frantically, Keith frowned briefly at that before he drew himself back into Shiro’s embrace, “You don’t have to.” 

“I want to please you, remember?” Shiro grinned smugly. 

Keith sighed, and then he stepped away to grab for the shampoo. “Almost forgot why we were in here.” he said to himself. 

“That’s your fault, you thought this could just be a shower.” Shiro said, hugging him from behind and resting his chin on Keith’s shoulder. 

“Oh yeah?” Keith wondered, turning his head so his nose brushed his cheek, “And what else is it?” 

Shiro hummed, “A cuddle session.” he said with a smile. 

Keith laughed softly, “Doesn’t _feel_ like a cuddle session.” he said huskily, rubbing back against Shiro where he was half-hard. 

Shiro made a noise of disgruntlement, “ _That_ is a visceral reaction. I can’t help it when you’re naked, baby.” 

Keith ground his hips back again, biting his lip, and Shiro stilled them with firm, yet gentle hands. 

Keith looked at him in questioning and Shiro shrugged, “Shower first. Let’s get the important stuff out of the way.” he said. 

Keith sighed, “If you say so.” 

“Are you disappointed?” Shiro asked, sitting when instructed and closing his eyes as Keith lathered the shampoo through his sopping wet hair. 

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.” Keith muttered as he scratched at Shiro’s scalp, smiling at the way Shiro made a cute little noise of delight and swayed with the way he massaged him. “I’ve missed you.” Keith said softly, “ _Everything_ about you. And...I feel like I can actually touch you now.” he leaned down to place a kiss on Shiro’s forehead, watched him smile and tilt his face in his direction, not opening his eyes yet. 

“You always _could_.” he said.

Keith huffed and grabbed the showerhead, “You know what I mean.” he said, rinsing the suds from Shiro’s hair, “Tilt your head back for me.” he murmured as he stroked his fingers through his hair to get all of it out. 

“Without context-“ 

Keith lightly smacked his shoulder, “Don’t even start.” 

Shiro snickered and opened his eyes, ringing out his hair when Keith deemed him ready. “I’m just saying…”

“Turn around so I can get your back.” Keith gestured. 

Shiro smirked and Keith couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips, “ _Shiro_ …”

“I’m doing it.” Shiro said with hands raised, standing and turning on his heel. 

Keith bit his lip as he admired the expanse of Shiro’s back, all sinuous muscle and sculpted edges. He swept Shiro’s hair over his shoulder (hand not-too-subtly caressing the swell of his deltoid), and then he began to scrub the sponge over his back, taking more than his fair share of satisfaction from it. 

Shiro sighed and shifted his weight from one hip to another, and Keith pressed a hand into his back so he would bend over. Shiro planted his hands against the wall and looked over his shoulder, curious, as Keith drew the sponge lower and _lower…_

“I think I can wash my own _a-ass!”_ Shiro yelped and Keith chuckled. 

_“Keith!”_

Keith shrugged and brought the water down over him to wash all the soap away. He followed the paths the water made with his hand, and Shiro’s breath hitched when Keith stroked between the cleft of his cheeks. 

Keith pressed a kiss to Shiro’s shoulderblade, trailing his lips down the length of his back and then kneeling behind him. Keith heard Shiro bite back a moan at the first press of Keith’s tongue.

“ _Oh_.” Shiro rasped.

Keith hummed and delved his tongue in, thumb tracing over Shiro’s perineum. Shiro arched his back, legs spreading a little more if only to allow Keith better access. 

“This isn’t c-cuddling.” Shiro said maybe five minutes later, breathless. 

Keith pulled back and nuzzled against the dip of Shiro’s spine, laving a suckling kiss there. “Sure isn’t.” Keith murmured, kissing at the blooming bruise in Shiro’s skin. “Are you complaining?” 

“Keith...the shower-”

Keith chuckled, “Shiro, you’re clean now. Let me indulge myself a little bit.” he said.

Shiro looked over his shoulder, “It’s not that. The water is cold.” he said. 

Keith blinked and reached a hand over into the water, where it was spraying directly onto Shiro, “It’s not cold.” 

“It’s not _warm_ either.” Shiro laughed. 

Keith stood and spun Shiro around, leaning in close and wrestling Shiro’s wrists into a firm grip, he smiled sweetly, and then he kissed at Shiro’s jaw, nuzzling against the stubble and closing his eyes with a sigh, “Then shall I warm you up?” he whispered, and Shiro moaned softly as Keith rolled their hips together. 

“ _Keith-_ ”

“Come on.” Keith pulled him out of the spray and barely remembered to turn the shower off, an afterthought to getting Shiro in his bed again. Shiro exhaled a nervous chuckle as Keith toweled down his hair, and Keith planted a kiss on his nose before he made his way down his body. Shiro’s cock was definitely stirring to life, and Keith planted a kiss there too, right on the flushed head. 

“ _Keith_...maybe...maybe you shouldn’t.” Shiro gulped, and Keith looked up curiously, hand coming up to gently hold his cock, test the weight of it. 

“Why are you so hesitant?” Keith wondered absently, nosing against the length of Shiro’s cock. 

Shiro stroked his fingers through Keith’s hair, wet and dripping onto the floor, and then he averted his gaze. “I’m... _not_...I’m not hesitant.” 

Keith paused at that, seeking out Shiro’s gaze and disappointed to see he was actually avoiding meeting Keith’s eye. 

Keith stood, taking a tentative step away and fetching the towel to work on his own hair. Confused hurt welling in his chest. 

“Yes, you _are_.” he murmured. 

Shiro didn’t answer. Quiet long enough that Keith chanced a glance out of his periphery. Shiro was covering his eyes, arms crossed over his chest while he rubbed circles into his temple. 

“What’s wrong?” Keith asked, quiet and demure. 

“Nothing’s wrong.” Shiro removed his hand and approached Keith, scoffing, “I just-” he began, halting and desperate, “I just don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want _to_ -” he sighed, “Keith, you’ve been through a lot.” 

Keith stared down at the floor, lips parted in shock.

 _What?_  

Keith turned on him then, crossing his arms defensively, “I just _told_ you-” he said in a low tone, “I want to forget it."

Shiro bit his lip, trying and failing to come up with a response beyond a sigh.

Keith scoffed, "Shiro, I don’t _want_ you to treat me like I’m made of glass!” his voice broke and he laughed wryly, “I just want us to be _normal_ again. I want _everything_ to go back to normal. I _finally_ have you back and you know _everything_ and I thought maybe that could actually happen!” 

Shiro grimaced, looking sheepish, “Keith, you can’t _really_ expect that everything would just go on like none of this...of-of what you experienced ever happened! We can’t just _suppress_ all of that.” 

“You mean _you_ can’t. And I thought that I could _tell_ you-” Keith whimpered, and Shiro took a step back as if struck.

“ _Keith-_ ”

Keith sniffed and ducked his head, “I thought you’d be _mad_ , and I was scared of _that_...but this...this is worse than that. You just _deciding_ I’m too fragile and t-too _traumatized_ to be capable of deciding for myself what I want or what I can take!” 

“That’s not _true_ , Keith.” Shiro said, frustration evident in his voice, “I didn’t _decide_ that-”

Keith shook his head and stalked out of the bathroom, stooping to fetch his pants off the floor and pull them up his legs. “I have _never_ underestimated you, Shiro.” he rasped. 

“Keith!” 

“Not when it came to your dystrophy, not when it came to _your_ trauma, not when it came to your s-scars or your arm. You’ve _never_ been any less in my eyes.” Keith pulled a shirt over his head and went to the door, “So yeah, I’m a little hurt you _obviously_ can’t do the same for me.” 

“Oh my god, Keith! Give me a chance to _talk-_ ” 

Keith raised his hand, quivering and shaking his head, “ _Just-_ ” he began, voice cracking, “Just give me some time alone.” 

Shiro gaped at him, standing there in the room, completely bare and damp from the shower and if the circumstances were different Keith might have jumped him. As it was...it just hurt to see. Keith wiped at his face and left the room, turning away from Shiro’s dumbfounded expression and hugging his arms to his chest as he walked down the halls. 

_Goddamnit._

_Fuck._

How the hell was this _happening?_ How could Shiro think Keith wasn’t capable of deciding what he could and couldn’t take? 

“Keith!” 

Keith hunched his shoulders and increased his pace, turning a corner and then flailing when Shiro grabbed his wrist and twirled him around, pressing him up against the wall. “Goddamnit, Keith! Let me fucking speak!” Shiro said, and Keith writhed under his strong grip, both hands held tightly and unrelentingly against the wall. 

“Let me _go_.” Keith rasped. 

Shiro bared his teeth, “ _No._ ” he growled, bared teeth and all, and Keith stilled, looking up at him with wide eyes. 

“No I’m _not_ fucking letting you go. Okay?” Shiro panted, tears welling in his eyes, “Look...Keith...Keith I _won’t_ let you do this. I won’t _let_ you shut down and lock me out. I’m not going to let you put your walls back up, I _can’t_.” 

Keith pressed his lips into a thin, wobbling line, and cast his gaze to the side. 

“I’m sorry.” Shiro whispered. 

Keith whimpered softly and closed his eyes. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Shiro continued, and Keith shook his head as he listened, “I’m usually in control. I can usually curb these stupid ideas, I can usually tell myself _‘No, that’s too far, that’s not right.’_ ” Shiro’s voice grew gravelly and hoarse, “Just before you told me what happened...I went to Kolivan, and I tried to get him to spill it, I _tried_ and I realized after, after he told me how stupid I was being...well, just how stupid I _was_.” 

Keith gasped and looked up at him in shock, mild horror. “You went behind my back?” he whispered.

Shiro cringed and closed his eyes, “I _tried_ to.” 

“ _Shiro-_ ” Keith couldn’t help the hurt and the way his voice cracked. 

“And now I _can’t-_ ” Shiro scoffed, “I can’t seem to get it through my thick skull that I shouldn’t _dictate_ what you need. I shouldn’t force you to comply with how protective I’m feeling.” he paused to stifle a sob, “Why is that so hard for me to just _get?”_ he wondered, “Why do I have to tell myself that? I shouldn’t _have_ to. I should just _know_.” 

Keith stared up at him, unable to say a thing. 

Shiro made a choked sort of noise and released Keith, stepping back and panting, starting to hyperventilate. 

“ _Shiro?”_ Keith gasped in alarm.

“Fuck...y-you’re _right._ ” Shiro whispered, “Maybe...maybe we just need the space. Maybe I should just let you take some time to yourself.” 

Keith’s breath hitched and he raised a hesitant hand, that...was the polar opposite of what he wanted. 

“Shiro-“ 

“How can _you_ trust me if I can’t even trust _myself?”_ Shiro rasped, face crumpling as he choked on a sob. 

Keith stepped forward as Shiro stumbled and he helped him settle on the floor, held him as he started to endure his panic attack, listened to him muttering: “What’s _wrong_ with me?” over and over as Keith held him to his chest, stroked his fingers through his damp hair and quelled the hiccups of his own emotions. 

“I’m sorry.” Shiro gasped as he turned his face into Keith’s chest, “I’m _s-so_ sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” Keith whispered huskily.

The trauma was thick on both sides. How didn’t he see it? Neither of them were themselves, neither of them were without their mental afflictions now. And to unload their burdens on one another without anticipating the consequences? It was doomed to create friction and misunderstandings from the beginning, Keith realized with a solemn weight settling in his heart. 

“We both messed up.” Keith said. 

“No.” Shiro shook his head, “ _I’m_ the one who fucked up.” he hiccuped, clutching tightly onto Keith’s shirt, “I should have just _talked_ to you. I _should have-“_ he broke off to whimper and nuzzle into Keith’s neck. 

“We’re talking _now_.” Keith sniffled and cleared his throat, “It’s okay, Shiro.” 

“It’s not.” 

Keith pulled back, “It’s okay that you’re not feeling like yourself. It’s okay that you are having a hard time. And it’s okay that you were having trouble letting go of what you learned.” Keith said, “It...it wasn’t right of me to just assume you’d let it go completely just because that’s what I wanted.” 

“But I should have-“ Shiro began.

“ _I_ should have let you talk it out with me.” Keith murmured, “We needed it.” he leaned in until their foreheads bumped, and Shiro reached up to cup his face, “We needed this.” 

Shiro scoffed a wet laugh, “ _This_ hurts.” he whispered. 

“Yeah.” Keith nodded, “Yeah it does. And I think we needed the wake-up call.” he said, and Shiro blinked up at him, “We’ve always been open with each other. But...only when we _have_ to. We should start trusting each other with the small things.” he said.

Shiro gulped and closed his eyes, “The things we think are too small to matter.” he said. 

“Yeah.” Keith sighed. 

“I’m sorry.” Shiro rasped. 

“Me too.” Keith said. “Come on.” he carefully stood and hoisted Shiro up. 

They walked back to their room in silence, and Keith sat Shiro down on the bed, sitting beside him and leaning against his shoulder.

Shiro startled him by huffing a laugh a few minutes later, “That was...a lot.” he murmured. 

Keith could only nod, “Shiro?” 

Shiro waited for him to speak.

“You’re having a hard time, you said.” Keith clarified, and Shiro nodded hesitantly, “I was too worried about myself to realize that maybe something was already wrong-“

Shiro grasped his hands, “Keith. No.” he said, “You can’t do that. You can’t dismiss the importance of your own problems every time I have one.” 

Keith sighed, “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. Just don’t put your issues on the back burner, they don’t deserve that.” Shiro said, “We-“ he broke off to laugh softly, “We are kind of bad at that, putting one another above ourselves to the point that shit like this happens. 

Keith brought Shiro’s hands up to his lips and brushed a kiss over the knuckles, hiccuping over the sob that crept up on him. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” he managed.

“Keith-“ 

“Let me apologize.” Keith rasped, “Please...I should have talked about it with you instead of just assuming the worst. Like I always do.” 

Shiro made a noise of protest.

“I’ve had a hard time breaking myself out of that mindset, where I think the world’s against me and even though I trust you with my life, even though I _know_ you’d never give up on me and you love me...I still have to wrestle with my fear that at the slightest inconvenience you’ll leave me. Like everyone else did.” 

“I’d never leave you, baby.” Shiro murmured.

Keith nodded, giving a mirthless laugh, “And earlier you were just scared for me, I overreacted and I tried to push you away like I always do when I’m scared.” 

“I overstepped.” Shiro said.

“No.” Keith sighed, “You _assumed_ , that’s different, Shiro.” he insisted, “And I gave you more than enough reason to assume that maybe sexual intimacy was uncomfortable for me. You’re not wrong to be careful. I was just...offended that you didn’t trust me to _know_ what I wanted, what I could take, and...I’m hurt that you pretty much didn’t wait for me to tell you.” he added with a broken whimper. 

“I’m so sorry, Keith.” Shiro rasped. 

Keith nodded, sniffling and clearing his throat, “Ah...what happened haunted me.” he murmured, “It still does, a little bit.” 

“I’m sure it would.” Shiro said.

“I have nightmares sometimes...and every damn time they have coalition members on the castle I freeze up and I panic and I can’t be in a room alone with them or eat anything they’ve made. It sucks.” Keith said, “I’m terrified it will happen again. But...I was only afraid of intimacy with you because I didn’t feel like I _deserved_ your love and your touch without telling you the truth.” 

Shiro’s hand tightened its grip on his shoulder.

Keith scoffed, “And so when you...when you started doing the same back to me after you _knew…_ kind of-“ he paused to wipe at his nose, “Kind of deflecting my advances-“ 

“You thought I didn’t want you because of what happened.” Shiro summarized.

Keith nodded, “That and like I said, I was offended that you didn’t trust me enough to know what I want.” 

“I’m sorry.” Shiro murmured. 

“I’m sorry too.” Keith said, “We’re both a little fucked up and we, heh...we needed to talk about it more. More than we did. We needed to know exactly where we stand.” 

Shiro hummed, “We’re pretty bad at this whole relationship thing.” he agreed. 

Keith shrugged, “It was going alright up until you vanished again.” he said, and Shiro wilted. 

Keith noticed and leaned over to see Shiro’s expression, his dejection and his sadness. “That wasn’t your fault.” he assured, “It’s on me for taking so long to find you.” 

“Keith-“ 

“A Galra ship.” Keith huffed a laugh, “You were on a Galran ship the _whole_ time and I somehow missed that for _six months_ until you decided to bust _yourself_ out.” he said, “So much for being your knight in shining armor.”

Shiro shifted, and Keith smiled a bit at the way he kissed at his temple, “You still saved me, Keith.” 

“Hm.” Keith sighed. 

Shiro pulled away and Keith watched in mild confusion as he rummaged around for a shirt to pull over his head, and after he had settled the hem around his waist he leaned on his legs and hung his head. “I’m sorry.” he murmured, “Again...that I went to Kolivan. That I tried to go behind your back. That...I don’t even understand why I thought it was okay for even a _second_.” he said, and Keith’s chest clenched with an icy sort of feeling, one that made him sick to his stomach. “It’s like I was so caught up in thinking I was somehow protecting you that I didn’t immediately realize what a violation of your privacy that was. It should have been common sense for me.” 

Keith listened, blinking rapidly as he turned his gaze to the floor, “It should have been.” he agreed quietly, and Shiro’s breath hitched. Keith looked up, and then to the side, offering him a wobbly smile, “But I’m glad you told me. You...you didn’t wait for Kolivan to tell me what happened. You confessed it yourself, and I’m grateful for that.” he said. 

Shiro relaxed exponentially, reaching for Keith and Keith went willingly, sliding into his lap and burying his face in his neck. Keith inhaled deeply of his scent, softened by the shower but still there, mint and wet earth, delectable and comforting, so very soothing. 

“I forgive you.” Keith whispered, and Shiro gave a choked noise as he kissed at Keith’s shoulder, hands all but clawing at his back, they were gripping him so tight. 

They stayed like that for so long it felt like hours, wrapped up in one another and just holding and contemplating what they almost compromised. What they could have thrown away if they hadn’t talked it out. 

“Thank you.” Keith murmured, “For not letting me walk away.” 

Shiro nodded, exhaling warm breath onto Keith’s shoulder, “Thank you for helping me through that attack.” 

Keith nuzzled into Shiro’s neck, hand moving to cup over his nape. He contemplated for only a moment before he kissed at Shiro’s neck, just beneath his ear, and then he did so again, and again, lips parting and the gentlest touch of his tongue come out to lap at his skin. 

Shiro shifted, and Keith waited with bated breath, biting his lip while Shiro shuffled, and then he rolled onto his back and Keith went with him with a gasp, smiling as Shiro stretched out beneath him and went lax, just waiting for Keith to make a move. Keith sat up, tossing his head and then swiping his wet hair out of his face, breath quickening in his chest as all the anger and the hurt and the nerves bled away into desperation. 

“I love you.” Keith whispered. 

Shiro smiled, “I know, baby.” 

Keith shook his head, “You’re everything in the universe to me and I lost you _twice_. And then I tried to push you away.” he leaned in to mouth at Shiro’s neck, a whine escaping him, “Please don’t leave me again. Please don’t let me be so _stupid_.” he whimpered, rolling his hips and giving another pathetic little whine when Shiro grabbed onto them with a gasp, “I wanna feel you.” 

Shiro growled and Keith went willingly when he rolled them over, pinning Keith’s hands by his head. Keith tilted his head back, eyes fluttering shut at the way Shiro licked over the gland on his neck, coaxing it to swell and release a burst of spicy cinnamon scent into the air. 

“ _Shiro-_ “ Keith moaned.

“Remember what we said?” Shiro muttered, husky with his need, “Before Zarkon?” 

Keith shook his head, too delirious with everything that was so suddenly happening to remember. 

“You said I could make you my mate.” Shiro panted against his skin, and Keith’s breath hitched at the way he teased his teeth over the throbbing skin of his gland. 

Keith arched up from the bed, hips searching for friction, and Shiro provided it, pressing him down and humping firmly against him. 

Well fuck. 

Keith whined at the way he went slick so quickly.

He didn't even have to think it over.

“Please.” Keith rasped, hands wriggling in Shiro’s form grip. 

Shiro moaned against his neck and Keith went to push frantically at his pants when Shiro released his hands. Shiro didn’t bother with removing clothes, he just pulled his cock out and Keith helped him guide it inside after he’d kicked his pants off.

Keith tossed his head as Shiro slid home, a ragged moan bubbling past his lips as he clutched sharp nails into Shiro’s back, already breathless with the firm thrusts he was providing him. He was feral, harsh and hungry in fucking Keith down into the mattress, breath wet and hot against Keith’s neck as he mouthed over his gland and nipped at it. His hands pushed Keith’s legs up, bent him in half and he increased his desperate pace, punching little half-moans out of Keith, making him gasp for air. 

“Shi-Shiro...Shiro please!” Keith whined, turning to nuzzle against Shiro’s jaw, lips parted and lazily kissing at his skin where it was quickly growing sweaty. 

“Mm.” Shiro acknowledged him, pulling Keith’s hips into his lap and Keith cried out when he suddenly buried his teeth in over his gland. 

Well fuck...it fucking _hurt!_

Keith dug his claws into Shiro’s back, drawing blood, not that he knew it, and Shiro didn’t let up. 

“ _Ow…_ ” Keith whimpered, And Shiro went still, hips twitching against him as he slowed to a tentative grind inside him. “Fuck... _god-fuck_.” Keith blinked at the tears in his eyes, and then Shiro flexed his jaw and Keith went lax at the way relief flooded him. 

A soft caramel scent filled the air, not at all unlike the way he smelled after his heats, and Keith clamped down over Shiro’s cock as he came with a whine. 

Shiro didn’t pull away until Keith stopped hiccuping and whimpering, and Keith stared blearily up at him, taking in the blood dripping down over his chin. 

“You okay? Keith?” Shiro wondered, eyes wide. 

Keith nodded, “That...hurt more than I thought it would.” he breathed, shaky fingers going up to brush over it. He gasped and hissed, rubbing his bloodied fingers together with a hum. 

“ _Wow_.” 

Shiro looked over it and grimaced, “Sorry...was that right? Did I fuck it up?” 

Keith shook his head, “ _Ah_ ...no I don’t...I don’t think so, oh _wow_.” he moaned softly and bucked against Shiro where he was held tightly inside him, “Keep going.” he rasped. 

Shiro gently repositioned himself, slowly driving his hips down against Keith’s and pulling a whimpering moan from him. “Do you...feel any different?” Shiro wondered absently, eyes fluttering closed as he began a consistent pace. 

Keith couldn’t really say, distracted with the way Shiro rocked inside him and the dull ache in his neck. He just whined, and Shiro leaned down to kiss at his lax lips, coax Keith into a response. And respond Keith did, hands curling into Shiro’s hair, a soft little “ _Mmn_.” given as he pulled Shiro close as he could possibly be, wrapping his legs around his hips and whining into the kiss. 

Shiro whimpered and came minutes later, and Keith nuzzled against him when he pulled away to gasp for air. 

Yeah, it _did_ feel different. 

It had _always_ felt right when Shiro made love to him, when Shiro came deep inside him and clutched him tight to his chest. But now it felt _more_ than right. It felt perfect. Better than an orgasm. Like he was more than meant to be here in Shiro’s arms, full of his cock and like it was the only place he should ever be. 

When Shiro pulled back Keith shook his head and hugged him tighter, “Stay.” he whispered, “Stay here. _Never_ go.” 

Shiro shifted and Keith moaned at the motion, “I gotta move _sometime_ , baby.” 

Keith all but sobbed, nuzzling into Shiro, his scent, his warm body, mouthing at his jaw. “ _Takashi…_ ” he rasped. 

“I’m here, Keith.” Shiro murmured. 

Keith hummed and smiled, “ _My mate_.” 

Shiro chuckled softly, wiping his thumbs under Keith’s eyes, “You’re purring, baby.” 

Keith nodded and preened when Shiro kissed his cheek, and then his lips. Again and again and deeper with each pass. Keith suckled on his tongue, purring and moaning under Shiro. God everything felt so perfect, he never wanted this to end. 

Of course it eventually did, all the gentle nuzzling and the soft kisses, purring and cuddling. Keith reveled in it while it lasted, but Shiro pulled back with wide, embarrassed eyes when his stomach gurgled, and Keith protested in a soft whine. 

Shiro just chuckled.

“Sorry Keith.” he panted, “I’m...kinda hungry.” 

Keith whined again, legs tightening around Shiro as he pulled out, and then he just lazily reached after him when Shiro stood on shaky legs. 

“ _Takashi…_ ” he moaned, rolling into his side and gingerly sitting up to follow. 

Shiro sighed and knelt before him, breathless and disheveled and so damn _beautiful_. Keith wanted to push him to the floor and ride him until he couldn’t fucking _breathe_. 

“Look at it this way, Keith.” Shiro said, cupping his face and giving him one soft, chaste kiss, “I can’t cuddle you if I’m too hungry.” 

Keith blinked at him, and then he exhaled a sigh, clarity washing over him like a wave and just like that the throbbing pain in his neck was back. 

“Woah.” he mumbled, clutching onto his shoulder and swaying with the pain. 

“Keith, you okay? You’re pale.” 

Keith nodded, “Jus’ hurts.” he slurred, and Shiro caught him when he lost balance. 

“Easy, Keith. Easy there.” Shiro slowly laid him down and stroked the backs of his knuckles over his cheek. “I’m going to get you some water and...and Ulaz. I hope I didn’t fuck anything up. Fuck.” Shiro stood and turned on his heel and Keith stared at the ceiling in a daze until he passed out.

* * *

 

Despite Shiro’s initial mild panic, Ulaz informed him that what Keith was experiencing was utterly normal after an impromptu _“bonding ceremony”_ , as he called it. 

“Just keep him hydrated and fed and stay _with_ him, no need to stress him further.” 

Simple instructions, and Keith seemed to flourish by them, after a long nap he woke and turned to cuddle Shiro. And he managed to feed him before he fell asleep again, purring like a fucking motorcycle. What a precious thing he was. Shiro sighed as he stroked Keith’s hair out of his face, admiring his cheek smushed against the pillow and his soft little snores to accompany his purring. 

Shiro smoothed his hand down over Keith’s hip, soft and pliant under him. 

If he didn’t know better...he’d say he felt it. 

He’d loved Keith for a long time now, felt inseparable from him for over a year. But he hadn’t felt quite like _this_ , like he was almost...in tune with Keith. Maybe it’s why he didn’t exactly freak out when Keith went pale as a sheet and pretty much passed out. He somehow, despite appearances, felt like he _knew_ Keith wasn’t in any _real_ trouble. 

Weird, but...cool. 

He didn’t know exactly how it worked, but according to what Keith had told him before it was like marriage. At least to the Galra. Keith had decided that it was more like their version of a promise ring, so he’d go ahead and stick with that for now. He didn’t want to cross any lines Keith may have had. Even though he surely wouldn’t mind it at all if they decided to call it marriage too. It was just a little too soon, realistically. 

But still...at the very least it made Keith like a fiancé to him, rather than a boyfriend, and that made his chest swell with joy and satisfaction.

Keith grimaced and whimpered softly in his sleep, and Shiro pressed a kiss to his temple, drinking in his scent as he pulled him close, let Keith nuzzle into his chest. 

“What are you dreaming about, baby?” Shiro whispered, and Keith only continued on, sound asleep. 

Shiro hummed and pulled him ever closer, as if they could _get_ any closer. There was something different about him. About his scent. Usually so sharp and spicy, almost enough to make Shiro sneeze sometimes. It was softer now, like the one time he had experienced his post-heat: sweet and sugary like caramel. Delectable, really. 

It screamed “ _Mine_.” when he breathed it in. It smelled like Keith _belonged_. 

Shiro closed his eyes and kissed ever so gently over the gland he had ravaged, already healing and scabbed over. But it was obvious that Keith was a mated man now, and that made Shiro more contented than ever, possessiveness calmed for the time being. Keith would wear this forever, a permanent mark of belonging to _him_. 

Shiro almost wanted Keith to do the same to him, so he could belong to Keith in the same way, but _he_ wasn’t Galra...it didn’t work like that.

He kind of wished it did.

Keith woke the next day with a luxurious stretch and a groan, turning over to find the bed empty. He stared at the space on the bed for a moment, panic budding in his chest. “Shiro?”  

He sat up, looking around desperately, but catching sight of the bathroom light along with Shiro’s silhouette moving around prompted that he relax. 

Keith sighed and rubbed a hand over the bruised gland in his neck. It didn’t sting or throb anymore, just a little tender, and slick with oily scent. Keith got to his feet, absolutely zero concern for nudity, and took a step toward the bathroom, he...he could sense the calm emanating from the small room. 

Was that-

“Shiro?” 

The door slid open a second later, and Keith could have laughed in endearment at the way Shiro blinked at him with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, but he was a little preoccupied. 

That feeling, the mild tickle of something...someone else in his head...it _was_ Shiro. He could sense the surprise and the ensuing contentment, the _adoration_ that Shiro felt when he saw him. Wow..was that really what Shiro felt when he looked at him? 

It wasn’t thoughts...nothing coherent, just the general sense of a feeling. He knew it wasn’t his own. He _knew_ it was Shiro’s.

“Holy shit.” Keith breathed, resting heavily against the doorframe and biting his lip. 

Shiro tilted his head and offered him a confused, but genuine smile. “Hey baby. Feeling better?” 

Keith reached out and grasped at Shiro’s hand, his prosthetic the only one in reach, and he exhaled a laugh, pulling Shiro in so he could press a kiss to the cold, metal knuckles. He smiled and turned his gaze to Shiro, almost wanting to cry, “I can feel you.” he rasped.

Shiro blinked down at him, nudging his hand against him pointedly, “I mean-“ he shrugged. 

Keith shook his head, free hand gone to cup Shiro’s face, to stroke gently over his cheek. He was in awe, reverence. Shiro wasn’t just Shiro, he wasn’t just his lover...he was his _mate_. Officially. They were _bound_. Irreversibly entwined.

Keith laughed again and Shiro’s concern, his confusion, was _literally_ tangible. 

“Keith? You’re crying, baby.” Shiro wiped at his cheek and Keith only continued to laugh, pure, unadulterated joy. 

“I can _feel_ you.” Keith gasped softly, “We’re _connected_.” 

Shiro furrowed his brow, trying to understand. 

“You’re confused, surprised, worried for me.” Keith whispered, and then he hummed into a tender smile, looking up at Shiro through his lashes, “ _You love me._ ” 

Shiro laughed softly at that, “Of _course_ I do, Keith.” 

“I...can you feel it too?” Keith wondered, hugging Shiro’s arm to his chest, “It’s amazing.” 

A little fear bled through, “W-Wait what are you talking about? Can you...read my thoughts? Is _that_ what the mating mark does?” 

Keith shook his head, “No. Just...feelings.” he said. 

The relief was a little strange, surely, but Keith didn’t dwell on it. “Why so nervous? Thinking of something _naughty_ , Takashi?” he prodded teasingly. 

Shiro flushed even as he shook his head with a smile, and Keith giggled as he rolled up onto his tip-toes to kiss him. Shiro gently pried his hand out of Keith’s grip to clutch onto his face, pull him in further, and Keith hummed as he backed him up against the wall.

Feverish desire bled through, then. Sudden and encompassing.

“ _Oh_.” Keith gasped as Shiro hoisted him up, legs gone to wrap around his hips and another giddy laugh bubbling past his lips. “That’s... _mmm_.” he moaned when Shiro licked over the healing mark on his neck. 

“You know…” Shiro began, “I feel better...you saying that.” 

Keith buried his fingers in his hair and pulled him back, smiling at the revelation of having Shiro literally wrapped around his fingers. He tugged a little on his hair, and Shiro’s lips parted on a strangled noise. “Wh-What do you mean?” Keith asked. 

Shiro licked his lips, “After...after I did it I felt like maybe...I don’t know...it was strange and I kind of _do_ feel it? Like just a sense of you. Not...thoughts or feelings or anything.” he said, “Like when you fainted...I knew you were okay?” 

Keith chuckled at that, “Oh so you _knew_ I was fine but you went running for Ulaz all frantic?” he retorted.

Shiro leaned in to bump foreheads, “Of _course_ I did. I only _felt_ like you were okay, I wasn’t _sure_.” he said.

Keith hummed and licked at Shiro’s lips, glad for the way he growled and fiercely ground their hips together. “My _mate_.” Keith whispered, breathing him in, whining softly as Shiro kissed desperately down his jaw and his neck, laving wet, enthusiastic attention to his mating mark.

“It’s kind of weird how hot that is.” Shiro mumbled, “Calling me your mate.”

“Fuck...Shiro.” Keith whimpered, humping needily against his stomach, “S _hiro_.” 

Shiro growled again (oh Keith _liked_ that), and Keith bit his lip when he reached between them to free his cock and spear Keith onto it without so much as a second’s hesitation. Keith tossed his head back, hardly caring that he bumped his head, and Shiro cooed against his ear as he started fucking him against the wall. 

“Careful baby.” Shiro kissed at his neck. 

Keith just whined and undulated into Shiro’s tactful thrusts, lashes fluttering against his cheeks as he gasped his mate’s name. Sobbed it into the small space, whimpered when Shiro kissed him through his violent orgasm, breathed a broken little murmur of it when Shiro pumped him full of his cum. 

A small part of him wished he was in heat for that.

Keith panted against Shiro’s lips as they came down from their frantic high. He gave a breathless laugh when Shiro did the same. 

“That was-“ 

“Quick.” 

“I was going to say intense.” Shiro grumbled.

“That’s okay, sometimes quickies are just as good as regular sex.” Keith said, planting a sweet little kiss on Shiro’s nose. “If not _better_.” 

Shiro scoffed and smiled bashfully.

Keith gingerly rested his weight on his feet when Shiro put him down, limping a little on his way to the shower. He _had_ just taken one the day before, granted, but he was sweaty and...well, dripping Shiro’s spend all over his legs. 

Keith slyly looked over his shoulder to see if Shiro would join. 

Shiro shook his head, “ _Oh no_. I’m not gullible enough to get in there with you again, baby.” he teased. 

Keith smirked, “But you _want_ to.” 

Shiro scoffed and walked over to kiss him on the temple, “I do. But I also want to go to breakfast, if I get in with you-“ 

Keith gasped and spun around, “Really?!” 

Shiro smiled at his enthusiasm, “Well... _yeah_. I guess I’ve been a hermit, the past week or so.” 

Keith smiled back, just as bright, if not brighter, “Everyone’s been dying to see you. And I’ve been wanting to see you with the team again, you...you guys are like a family together and I want you to have that again. Have your family back.” Keith said, emotional, happy, and eager for Shiro’s recovery. 

Shiro softened, “ _You’re_ my family too, Keith.” he said as he cupped Keith’s face, bringing him in for a kiss.

Keith gently pushed him back, “ _Mmn_ -but really, do you need a shower? No funny business, I _swear_.” he mimed crossing his heart, and Shiro laughed. 

“I dunno…” 

Keith grumbled and started tugging Shiro’s pants down, “Come on. I _promised._ I’ll be a good boy.” 

Shiro rolled his eyes, endeared, and followed Keith into the shower. 

* * *

“You’re sure it looks alright? Maybe I should cut it.” Shiro sighed in front of the mirror, and Keith just tied off the braid he was working on and pressed a kiss to Shiro’s shoulder. 

“You always look good to me, Shiro.” Keith said, and it was true, the simple updo looked pretty damn good on him if Keith did say so himself. “But you know you can always cut it if you prefer, or if you get tired of it.” 

Shiro shrugged, “Just never had long hair.” he chuckled nervously, “Feels so different.” 

Keith smiled and rested his cheek against Shiro’s arm, “It’s just the team, they’ll probably be more focused on the fact that you’re out and about than the fact that you have gorgeous hair.” he said.

Shiro shifted from side to side, “ _Gorgeous?”_  

Keith bit his lip and went to fetch his jacket, pulling it over his arms. 

Shiro had a new vest, since he couldn’t find his other one.

(Keith put it the wash after Shiro came back and forgot to dry it, so now it smelled like mildew and he needed to wash it _again_ ) 

He looked pretty damn good in that vest, though. Showed off his arms a little more. And Keith could _never_ be called to complain about that. 

“Come on, I’m hungry.” Keith gestured, and Shiro followed nervously. 

“Is it really okay?” Shiro asked.

Keith laughed and turned to pull him down into a messy kiss, sloppy and noisy and Shiro made a choked hiccup of a noise as Keith pulled back. 

“What do _you_ think?” Keith wondered, and the wave of arousal he sensed made him smirk triumphantly. He grasped Shiro’s hand and pulled him along until they made it to the dining room, and everyone all but jumped up from their seats at the sight of them. 

“Shiro!” 

Keith curled into his side, not at all eager to leave it even if to allow everyone unadulterated hugs. 

“Uh... _Ow!_ Hi guys!” Shiro gasped after a particularly tight squeeze from Hunk. 

“We missed you so much!” Pidge bounced back from where she was probably clinging to his leg like a gremlin. 

“I can’t _believe_ you’re back.” Lance said, “It was touch-and-go for a while even when we found you.” 

Keith glared and hissed, “Lance! It wasn’t _that_ bad.” 

“CPR is pretty bad.” Hunk pitched in.

Keith crossed his arms and Shiro laid a hand on his shoulder, “ _Thank you,_ Hunk.” Keith muttered. 

Shiro turned a raised brow his way, “ _CPR?”_ he wondered, voice tight with both amusement and anxiety. 

Keith sighed, “Igave the mouth-to-mouth if it makes you feel any better.” 

Shiro burst into laughter and Keith smiled in embarrassment as he leaned down to kiss his cheek. “A little, thanks baby.” 

“ _Ughhh_.” 

“Gross, guys.” 

“Come on Lance, you’ve seen gross. _That_ ain’t it.” Keith said as he flipped both Lance and Pidge the bird, making his way to the table and eagerly getting a helping for himself and Shiro. 

“In any case,” Allura began, “It's wonderful to have you back, Shiro.” 

Pidge leaned in while Shiro was distracted talking to Allura, “So...did you tell him... _y’know?”_ she whispered. 

Keith grimaced, “ _Yes_.” he murmured. 

Pidge exhaled a sigh of relief, “Oh that’s good, I was worried it would accidentally come up in conversation - cause we’re idiots, but you knew that - and then you’d have to explain and that would be...awkward.” 

Keith huffed, smiling bitterly, “Thanks.” 

“So...I assume it went well? You’re not moody.” Pidge said, and then she whistled, “ _DAMN_ if that’s not a whopping hickey-“

Keith scrambled to cover her mouth, “Pidge! Jesus! It’s not a hickey.” 

Pidge licked his palm and Keith pulled back with an incredulous noise. 

“Then what is it?” she wondered. 

“Galra stuff.” Keith mumbled, hiking the collar of his jacket up a little further. 

“What kind of Galra stuff?” Pidge asked.

“Galra stuff?” Hunk leaned in to whisper conspiratorially. 

Keith flushed with heat and color, “ _Guys_ …” 

Shiro sat down beside him and Keith cast embarrassed glares in the direction of the green and yellow Paladins. 

“What are you guys whispering about?” Shiro wondered, brushing his lips against Keith’s temple. “Hmm?” 

Keith made an indignant noise, “Mating marks.” he hissed. 

“Hmm?” Pidge pried impishly. 

“Katie, come on.” Shiro chided, and she backed off with a grin. 

“Time to go ask Ulaz.” Pidge declared. 

Keith winced and turned to bury his face in Shiro’s chest. 

“Now you’ve embarrassed him.” Hunk said.

“That’s cute.” Pidge said. 

“Are you taking a _picture?”_ Shiro scoffed incredulously. 

Keith waved his hand in her general direction, “No pictures.” he mumbled. 

“It’s so heartwarming to have everyone here again.” Coran said, and Keith lifted his head to offer him a thankful smile. He lent meaning to it, nuzzling into Shiro pointedly and Coran beamed once he understood Keith’s silent message. 

“Thank you.” Keith mouthed, and Coran nodded, turning his attention to his breakfast. 

“So Pidge and me have been working on something.” Hunk said through a mouthful of food, gesturing vaguely with his fork, “We were thinking: Lotor has that comet...and the comet is the same stuff Voltron is made out of, right?” 

“And Hunk made that device back on Earth to track Voltron.” Pidge said. 

“So we’ll just use the castle as an amplifier and we can track Lotor!” 

Allura leaned forward and rested her chin upon her hands, “That’s plausible.”

Pidge raised a brow, “Not just plausible, it’s definitely possible.” 

“But yeah if we can just figure out how to use the castle as an amplifier…” Hunk said, and then he shrugged. 

Shiro just blinked, “Who’s Lotor?”

* * *

 

“You okay?” 

Keith sighed and shifted his weight from one hip to the other, shrugging as Shiro came up behind him. Ashamed and apologetic. He didn’t need to be, Keith didn’t blame him for giving sensible orders. Shiro was used to leading, Keith was the one in _his_ place...a usurper who didn’t even want to be there. 

“Keith, baby…” 

“I’m fine, really.” 

Shiro leaned in and hugged him from behind, “I’m sorry about...about the backseat orders, I didn’t mean to step all over you like that.” he murmured as he stroked a hand up and down Keith’s belly, intimate and just there. There for him. 

“You were right.” Keith said quietly, “We couldn’t let Lotor have the teleduv.” 

Shiro pressed a kiss to Keith’s neck, tender where he had bitten deep and left his mark. “But you’re the one who came up with the idea of using his ship against him. I could never have thought of that, Keith.” he added in soft reverence, “It was incredible, you know.” 

Keith scoffed an amused little noise, “Even though we got wiped out a second later?” 

Shiro hummed an affirmative, “Even then.” 

Keith laid his hand over Shiro’s where it rested over his belly, just gently holding him. 

A sense of confliction from Shiro, and Keith tilted his head. It was still new, catching him off guard every time he felt an empathic wave from Shiro. He hadn’t had a chance to ask Ulaz about how it worked yet, but apparently it didn’t work over long distances. Keith couldn’t sense Shiro the whole time he was piloting Black, while they infiltrated the base and while he was flying Voltron with the team. 

Interesting indeed. 

“What are you thinking about?” Keith wondered softly, and Shiro shifted, leisurely swaying them a bit before he answered. 

“You know when there’s a thought on the tip of your tongue and then the next second you lose it?” Shiro said. 

Keith nodded, “Yeah.” 

Shiro just shrugged, “It’s just been happening to me a lot recently.” 

Keith turned in place, winding both arms around Shiro’s hips and pulling him in, “Well, you have a lot of reasons to be a little disoriented, Takashi.” he leaned up on his tiptoes and Shiro went to meet him, humming delightedly into the kiss. 

Keith pulled back with a sigh, and Shiro kept him where he was, flush against his chest and within reach of busy lips that trailed down his jaw. Keith tilted his head back to accommodate him, brows furrowed as a thought crossed his mind.

“Why do you think Black wouldn’t accept you back?” 

Keith immediately winced at the wave of sharp hurt he felt, the way Shiro’s breath hitched and he jolted against him. He really should have the sense not to speak so recklessly by now. 

Shiro pulled away after a moment, and Keith reached out after him as he stepped to the side and stared out at the stars, arms crossed as confusion, frustration, and fear poured out from him, it left a foul taste in Keith’s mouth to feel it with him. 

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-“

“I don’t know.” Shiro murmured, “It’s...it’s like everything else since I’ve gotten back, Keith.” 

Keith took a step closer, crossing his own arms over his chest in a show of insecurity. “What do you mean?” 

“Like me going behind your back.” Shiro said, and Keith flinched, “Like how I can’t remember a fucking thing, like how I’m put off by everything and everyone except for you. You’re the only one I feel like I belong around.” he turned a watery smile Keith’s way, “I feel like an outsider, like I’m stuck in a bubble and you’re halfway in there with me.” he shook his head, “That’s what Black’s rejection feels like too. I don’t understand...we were so close. But now she’s like everyone else too, I don’t feel like I’m meant to be in the room when everyone else is there. Everyone hugging me...I love them but...I wanted to crawl out of my skin.” 

Keith laid a hand on his shoulder, “Oh Shiro…” he rasped, “I had no idea you were feeling like this.” 

Shiro smiled ruefully, “Thought you could sense my feelings, baby.” 

Keith took a step closer, “It’s vague, Shiro. And...I kind of have to be focusing on it. On you.” 

Shiro hummed and Keith gently reached out for his hand, twining their fingers together and pulling his hand close to his heart, clutching to it like a lifeline. 

“Keith?” Shiro wondered curiously. 

Keith just smiled sadly, bringing Shiro’s knuckles up into reach so that he might press a kiss there. “I…” he began softly, “I was going to let you take Black.” he said, “When you came back. I never meant to become her pilot at all, but we needed Voltron and...I thought-“ he shook his head, “I thought I could give her back once you returned.” 

Shiro turned into his space and cupped his cheek with his free hand, “I don’t feel like you’ve stolen her from me, Keith.” 

Keith huffed and turned his gaze to the side, “It feels like I have, regardless.” he closed his eyes, “You want her more than I do. We only ever became paladins because of circumstance but...I _stayed_ one because of you, you stayed one because that’s who you want to _be_ and I don’t want to take that from you.” 

Shiro was silent, and when Keith looked hesitantly up at him he found him saddened, but still he smiled at Keith, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “It’s not really our decision, is it?” 

Keith sighed and slumped forward against him, “You’re way too forgiving for your own good.” 

Shiro laughed softly, “There’s nothing to forgive you for, Keith. It’s not your fault I vanished, and it’s not your fault the universe needs Voltron.” he stroked a hand up and down Keith’s back, “You know it was selflessness that led you to pilot Black, right?” 

Keith shrugged and Shiro kissed at his hair. 

“So you feel that a lot?” Keith clarified, “Where you have a thought and then you don’t?” 

Shiro nodded against him, “Since I woke up.” 

Keith pulled back and entwined the fingers of both their hands, taking a step back, and then another, “Maybe you need more rest.” he said, and Shiro followed even as he groaned. 

“I was in that bed for a whole week.” 

Keith turned on his heel, biting his lip, “I didn’t say what kind of rest.” 

Interest immediately swarmed Keith’s senses, a warm blanket of desire.

Shiro laughed and caught up to Keith rather quickly at that, catching him around the hips and nuzzling into his neck from behind while Keith giggled and gasped as Shiro rutted against his ass, just a few teasing strokes and a wave of arousal.

“ _Sex_ isn’t restful, baby.” Shiro purred, kissing a wet trail up his neck. 

“It can be if you do it right.” Keith rolled his hips back and Shiro seemed to strangle a growl in his throat, hands tightening on the curves of his hips to the point it felt they might bruise. “Either way...might help you sleep.” he suggested in a husky murmur. 

“Oh would it now?” Shiro chuckled, low and definitely interested, if the way he was stirring against the cleft of Keith’s ass was anything to go by. 

“Maybe.” Keith gasped when Shiro turned them and pressed him up against the wall, deft fingers hooked in the belt loops of his jeans and pulling them down his hips to pool at his feet. 

“Right here?” Keith’s breath hitched at the eager way Shiro pried one, then two fingers inside him. 

“You’ve never complained before.” Shiro said, lifting his shirt to press scattered kisses down the length of his spine. His tongue soon traced a wet trail where he was spreading Keith open on his fingers.

“Oh... _Shiro_.” Keith moaned, resting his forehead against the wall.

“Love it when you say my name like that, sweetheart.” Shiro whispered, and Keith chuckled breathlessly, back arching as Shiro rubbed teasingly and scissored his fingers inside of him. “Wish you were open for me.” he added, pressing insistent fingertips against where Keith was tightly closed on the inside. 

Keith whined, hands curled into fists as he panted raggedly, “Shiro...fuck! _Ah_...I’m supposed to be t-taking care of _you_...Mmn!” 

Shiro stood and pulled Keith’s hips flush against him, “I did say I want to please you, baby.” he rasped in Keith’s ear, licking over the lobe and rutting his clothed erection against Keith. 

Keith reached up and tangled his fingers in Shiro’s hair, keeping him there, baring his neck to his lascivious affections. He quivered when Shiro unbuckled his belt, he tensed and exhaled a soft moan when Shiro pressed the head of his cock against him, _inside_ him. He barely gave Keith any chance to adjust, and Keith braced himself on the wall, jaw agape while he just stood there and took it. Not that he minded in the slightest. 

God he was relentless and desperate, gasping in Keith’s ear, hips slapping sharply against Keith’s ass, fingers digging into his hips and leaving bruises for sure. 

Shiro’s name was a constant, broken murmur, a moan dancing off of his tongue until he couldn’t think anymore. 

_Oh fuck._

Keith cried out and pressed his forehead against the surface of the wall, cold against his feverish, sweaty brow. Shiro didn't slow for a second, grinding deep inside him to the point Keith could barely think if not to moan obscenely. 

When his knees suddenly buckled Shiro caught him round his waist and lowered them to the ground, kissing at Keith’s quivering shoulders through his jacket, “You alright, baby?” 

“Yeah...y-yeah keep going.” Keith panted, pillowing his head upon his arms and rolling his hips back while Shiro slowly continued. 

“ _Keith_.” Shiro moaned, husky and broken, nuzzling into the back of Keith’s neck as he increased his harsh pace until he had to cover Keith’s mouth, he was being so fucking _loud_. 

Not as if he could help it. 

“Hush baby...you’re doing so good.” Shiro murmured, biting playfully at Keith's neck..

Keith whimpered and Shiro curled a fist around his cock, stroking him firm and quick until Keith cried out behind his hand and made a mess on the floor. 

(He made a mental note to clean it up later.)

“ _Nnng!_ Shiro…” Keith gasped, slumping against his own arms as Shiro chased his end. He smiled and chuckled when Shiro cursed, bracing his arms on either side of Keith’s head and moaning as he came. 

Keith purred under the kisses Shiro lazily presses to his neck, up to his jaw. “Did so good for me, Keith.” Shiro whispered. 

Keith writhed a little beneath him and hummed, “So did you, Shiro.” 

Shiro slowly pulled out of him, giving a grunt and gingerly getting to his noticeably shaky feet while Keith pulled his pants up and struggled to his own feet with a laugh. They were both sweaty and disheveled, and Shiro brought Keith in for a sweet kiss, gentle and chaste against his lips. Keith smiled and that low purr rumbled in his chest again. Satisfaction was wafting off of Shiro like ocean waves, and it was relaxing to feel. 

“Sorry...didn’t really mean to do it here.” Shiro glanced down at the little mess on the floor. “I should clean that up.” 

Keith bit his lip and nodded, “I was gonna-“ 

Shiro shook his head and leaned in to kiss his nose, “You go on ahead, I’ve got it.” 

Keith giggled and walked off with a bit of a wobble in his step.

* * *

 

Lotor hadn’t been seen in ages. 

Keith was growing restless, because so far that was his pattern, he’d show up, thoroughly beat their asses, and vanish without a trace, only to come back when they least expected it and repeat the process. 

And yet he had been off the radar for a couple months now. 

Keith brought up the missions during a meeting, and Shiro had stiffened beside him, later in their room bringing up the fact that Keith spending time with the Blades meant Black wouldn’t have a pilot. 

“I know.” 

Shiro sighed, “Keith...we need you here.”

Keith nodded, “I know.” 

“Then...you know we can’t really spare you for the Blades?” Shiro prodded.

Keith rolled over from where he was nuzzled into a pillow, tired and anxious over his decision. “I know, Shiro. I wouldn’t be gone _all_ the time. And...when’s the last time we used Voltron?” 

Shiro made to speak, and then he silenced himself, crossing his arms. 

Keith took advantage of his hesitation, “It’s been over a month. All we’ve done recently is parading the Lions around and escorting refugees. We don’t need Voltron _every_ time. Just...just day long missions. The Blades have been on Lotor’s trail and I want to help us get the upper hand on him for once. I’m _tired_ of getting caught off guard by him.” he implored. 

Shiro stared at the floor, brows furrowed, jaw working incessantly. “You don’t need my approval.” he murmured eventually. 

Keith sighed with relief and then he shook his head, “I know, but...I’d like it.” he said. “You’re my mate...I’d like it if you weren’t against it, but I understand if you are.” he added quietly, rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand nervously. 

The bed dipped as Shiro sat beside him, placing his hand over his to stall his nervous fiddling. 

“Keith...just...the Blades do dangerous work.” Shiro said. 

Keith chuckled wryly at that, “So do we.” 

Shiro nodded, “Just...come back safe, and...one day missions, right? That’s not just me wanting you around, you never know when we could suddenly need Voltron.” he said.

Keith sat up, gently butting foreheads and smiling, “Of course, Shiro.” he said, and then he continued with a soft purr, “I want to be around you too.” 

Shiro wagged a finger at him, wavering and soft as he spoke, “You...you _better_ stay safe. I’m serious baby, stop laughing. That’s an order.” 

“I know.” Keith chuckled, “When I go I’ll be back within a day, I promise. And I’ll let you know if there are any delays. Okay?”

Shiro pulled him into a hug, “Okay, baby.”

* * *

 

Keith wasn’t exactly surprised to see Regris when he stepped off of the shuttle and took stock of his surroundings. He was just...it was strange. To see him. 

Keith kept his gaze for only a moment, offering a polite smile before he was turning his attention to Kolivan, the debrief of their mission. Regris was with them, because of course he was, and Keith could smell the unease wafting off of him every now and then. When Keith would glance over the scent would dim, and he would sigh. 

It felt bad, it really did.

That’s how it went for the next month. One or two missions a week. Though they slowly regained some sense of normalcy. Keith was glad for that. They could actually exchange glances without the awkwardness after only a couple weeks. 

The best part was that they were hot on Lotor’s trail, discovering little bits and pieces the man left behind every so often. He was good at covering his tracks, obscenely good, as a matter of fact, but even the best couldn’t be perfect. 

When he got back to the castle Shiro was always waiting for him, nervous and subtly giving him a once-over before he smiled and cupped Keith’s face, brought him in for a soft kiss that had any present audience of Paladins making noises of playful disgust. 

This time wasn’t exactly different, but Keith did come to a halt at the way he was met with crossed arms from a few of the other Paladins. 

Shiro approached him, Keith could sense his hesitance and nervousness, and he raised a brow as Shiro brought him in for a hug, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

“Hey, baby.” Shiro murmured. 

Keith smiled fleetingly, “Uh, _hi_...what’s going on?” he asked as he glanced over his shoulder towards the others. 

“Well-“ Shiro began.

“We pinged your communicator _five_ times, Keith.”

“Where were you?” 

“We barely made it out by the skin of our teeth.” 

“We needed Voltron.”

Keith blinked at the bombardment and Shiro’s hold on him tightened. He glanced up at his mate and Shiro gave him a sheepish, wincing look. 

Keith gulped, “My...my communicator is broken.” he turned to the pouch on his belt, “I didn’t see it.” he murmured as he showed them. “I got...thrown into a wall and it broke.” 

Shiro immediately made a noise of distress, “Are you alright?” 

Keith scoffed lightly as Shiro gently traced a hand down his back, “I've been thrown harder by _you_ in sparring, Shiro.” 

Allura sighed and crossed her arms, “Keith,” she began, “I appreciate what you’ve been doing, really, I do. But if it comes at the cost of the team, perhaps it is best we rethink your going on missions with the Blade.” 

Keith frowned, “Allura, I...this was a fluke. I can’t _help_ that my communicator broke.” he said, “I’ll be more careful, I promise. And I...I’ll just go once a cycle if it makes you feel better.” 

Allura shifted, casting a glance Shiro’s way, and then Coran’s, who both offered her looks of either pleading or indifference. 

Pidge stepped up to Allura, “He’s right, and...really, he’s been going at this for over a month now and this is the first time things haven’t quite worked out.” 

Allura hummed, “Maybe so, but we are betting lives on the hope that Keith’s missions won’t go south.” 

Keith wilted, turning his gaze to the ground, “I…”

“Allura, surely he deserves a second chance?” Shiro piped in, “We can’t give him such a hard time when...when he’s been so attentive and careful before, when this has only happened once during the entire month he’s been working with them?” 

Allura turned a strained gaze his way, “And what of the people we’re risking?” 

Shiro couldn’t respond to that. 

Keith crossed his arms, “We found research data on a new strain of quintessence today, nothing like any of us have seen before,” he glanced at Shiro pointedly, and the man furrowed his brows, head tilted in curiosity. “The trail leads directly to Lotor.” Keith continued, determined, “Please. You can’t take me out of this when we’re so close.” 

Allura heaved a sigh, and Coran rested a hand on her shoulder, “Perhaps just one last chance? He’s doing very dangerous, yet beneficial work for us.” he suggested.

Allura shifted her weight from one hip to the other, and then she looked up to meet Keith’s determined gaze, “One more chance, Keith. We got very lucky this time, but we cannot afford for this to happen again.” she said. “Please take care of your communicator. Be ready to forfeit at a moment’s notice.” 

Keith gave a halting nod and relaxed, turning into Shiro’s offered hug with a firm scowl set in his features. 

“What was that about?” Shiro asked.

Keith hummed in question.

“You looked at me when you talked about the quintessence like you had something to say.” 

Keith was silent, and then he sighed, “Later, when we’re alone.”

Shiro hummed and swayed in place as Keith nuzzled into him, “Tired, baby?” Shiro wondered in a murmur. 

Keith shook his head, “More hungry.” he said. 

Pidge tapped at his shoulder, and Keith glanced at her. 

“I know how you feel, Keith. I’ve been trying to convince her to let me borrow Green so I can look for Matt. I have a firm lead but...I can’t be absent when we’re already one down more often than not.”

Keith blinked in bewilderment before he offered her an apologetic smile, “I’m sorry, I know more than anyone how much finding Matt means to you.” 

Pidge only shrugged, “Well, in any case, the sooner we find Lotor the better for everyone, we’ll be able to relax a little bit and I can take Green to find Matt.” she said. 

Keith gently extracted himself from Shiro’s embrace, glad for the way he kept his arm around his waist as they began to walk. “I’m glad you’re so optimistic about it.” 

“Not much else I can be at this point.” Pidge mumbled. 

Keith hummed and frowned again, his chest constricting with a pang at the knowledge that he was holding Pidge back...and the others. He knew he was being a deadweight by spending so much time with the Blades. This wasn’t the first time he’d been scolded, though that was usually for missing their little coalition publicity stunts. But it was such important work and he just…he just couldn’t prioritize _parades_ over defeating the enemy, over finding a solution for Shiro’s illness. Maybe it was just him who saw it that way. Sometimes he would see Shiro’s jaw grind, feel a wave of irritation from him when Keith would quietly complain about it in their room. 

He often wondered if it was directed at _him_ rather than at the subject of his complaints.

Right now all he felt was mostly quiet contemplation. 

Sometimes it was both a blessing and a curse to be able to sense what his mate was feeling. Especially when he knew the reverse wasn’t the case, Shiro could only sense _him_ , sense when he was close, have a vague sense of how he was doing, physically. 

He’d asked Ulaz about it, curious. 

It was just slightly different for every Galra, but when the mating glands were bitten an empathic link was established via a chemical released during the ceremony. Though Ulaz did say that because they were not a Galran couple it might fade with time, but heats spent together should renew it... _should_ being a key word. Otherwise Shiro would have to bite him again if it grew weak. 

Keith got lucky, according to Ulaz, with the ability to sense his mate’s emotions, a useful tool for an omega. The fact that Shiro had some semblance of the bond, despite being human, wasn’t unusual, just as quintessence was in everything, so too was the inherent (if not dormant) possibility for magic. Apparently most Galra had similar bonds to non-Galran mates, especially with inherently empathic or telepathic people. 

As far as Keith knew, their bond hadn’t grown weak, it was still as strong as it ever felt. And he was glad for it. 

* * *

 

“The strain of quintessence we found…” 

Keith cleared his throat, shifting under the weight of Shiro’s inquisitive stare. He crossed his arms, “Remember...remember how we talked about finding a way to stop your muscular dystrophy?” 

Shiro stiffened, “Yeah?” 

Keith shrugged, “This quintessence isn’t the same as regular quintessence. No matter how pure it usually is this one is... _immaculate_ , unheard of, and I think it’s a secret. There’s only one base with the strain on hand.” he glanced up to find Shiro listening intently, “My last mission was compromised, so we didn’t actually collect a sample, but we did collect the data. Sad thing is we can’t go back to that particular base, they’d be waiting for us and we barely escaped with the data that time. So...anyway, I’m looking for an opportunity to actually collect a sample, maybe a shipment or something, it's why we've been monitoring their cruisers. And if we do find some...Shiro-“ Keith cut himself off with a sharp breath.

Shiro waited, shell-shocked and yet hope was trying to break through in his expression. 

“We could possibly cure your disease.” Keith said in a shaky breath, smiling as he grew emotional, “Um...you’d be free of it.” 

Shiro exhaled a breathy, wet chuckle, “Keith…” 

“So...I guess these missions are more personal now.” Keith scuffed the toe of his boot against the floor. 

Shiro was silent for a moment, and then he stood and crossed the distance between them so quickly Keith could only gasp as he pulled him into a crushing hug. 

“You’re amazing, Keith. You’re so...so good and...I’m sorry I’ve been doubting a little.” Shiro admitted, choked up. 

Keith smiled and returned Shiro’s embrace, laughing softly when Shiro playfully dipped him and pressed a sweet little kiss to his lips. 

“ _Mm_...speaking of- _Shiro!”_ Keith couldn’t help but giggle as Shiro kissed ticklishly at his neck. “Shiro!” 

Shiro grinned and pulled back, helping Keith to his feet with a sigh, “Thank you, Keith. I don’t...I don’t want to believe this is a possibility, in case…” he said, and Keith nodded solemnly, “But the fact that you’re doing this, thank you.” 

Keith smiled in quiet, bittersweet agreement, “Speaking of...how have you been feeling, lately. Your arm still hurting?” he asked as he grasped gently at that very limb, stroking his fingers over the knuckles of Shiro’s hand and pressing a sweet kiss to them. 

Shiro stared at his hand, and Keith smiled up at him until he realized that Shiro wasn’t responding. He was exuding confusion, just plain, agonized confusion.

“Shiro?” he prodded gently. 

Shiro blinked, gulping, “I...haven’t noticed it. Since I came back.” he said with a worried pinch of his brow. 

Keith only sighed in relief, “Well that’s good, right?” 

Shiro didn’t look inclined to agree, but he did so anyway, “Y-Yeah. Yeah I guess so.” 

Keith smiled and nuzzled against his chest, slightly worried about the swirling turmoil and confusion that Shiro was still agonizing over. 

“Your thoughts are super loud.” he mumbled. 

Shiro jumped like he had somehow forgotten he was hugging Keith to his chest, “Are they? I do kind of have a headache.” he mumbled.

Keith chuckled and looked up, “Come here.” he said as he pulled away, leading Shiro to the bed. He climbed on, tossing a pillow to the floor and pointing at it. Shiro sat down with a hesitant smile and a raised brow, and Keith took his fingers to Shiro’s hair, threading through it to elicit shivers and massaging at his scalp until Shiro groaned and went slack, the turmoil in his head quieted to gentle, innocent pleasure. 

That was better. 

Keith smiled and leaned down to kiss Shiro’s temple where he rested against Keith’s knee. 

“Better?” he wondered as he twisted a little braid into his hair. 

“Mmn.” 

That was all he needed to hear. 

“Good.”

* * *

 

“So you are mated now?” 

Keith stiffened, glancing to the side, toward him, but not quite _at_ him. 

Regris looked relaxed, just sitting there, watching the swirling energies of the black holes outside the viewscreen.

“Yes…” Keith affirmed, “I am.” 

Regris smiled, any trace of sadness carefully concealed, “I am truly happy for you.” he said, “It is miraculous that the Black Paladin returned, and that he was unharmed.” 

Keith grimaced, “Well, we did find him on the brink of dehydration, starvation and oxygen deprivation, but yes. He was mostly unharmed.” 

Regris gave him a startled look.

Keith only smiled, “Yeah, of course no one else knows who wasn’t there, can’t be good for the public image, right?” he drawled sarcastically. 

Regris gave a hesitant, nervous smile, “I hope I have not offended you.” 

Keith shook his head, “No, I’m just telling the truth is all.” 

Regris hummed, “And...have you told _him_ the truth?” 

Keith nodded, crossing his arms and shifting. 

“I hope he took it well.” 

Keith exhaled a laugh, “As well as he could. _I_ reacted worse than he did, believe me.” 

“Truly?” Regris wondered with a tinge of curiosity in his tone. 

“He’s been an angel.” Keith said, almost dreamy over the fact. “He’s so good to me.” 

Regris didn’t comment on that, but when Keith looked up he was staring down at his feet with a fond smile on his face. 

A few moments later he did speak, quieted, but genuine: “I’m glad. I couldn’t wish for more than your happiness.” 

Keith relaxed and hummed, “Same.” 

Regris heaved a sigh, “So tell me, I’m curious.” 

Keith waited.

“I hear tell of having mates of different species, but is it the same as with Galra? Being mated to a human?” Regris wondered. 

Keith stared at him in surprise, and then he chuckled and nodded, “Yeah. Yeah it’s the same, _he_ can even sense me, just a little.” 

Regris tilted his head, “That’s interesting, so it is true that some species are compatible in that sense.” 

Keith shrugged, “I suppose so?” 

“I am also glad for that.” Regris said, “To be able to experience that side of yourself with your mate.” 

Keith could only give a nervous giggle. 

“I will leave you be, now. But...I did want to make sure the air was clear between us, and for you to know I am doing well, regardless of everything. I truly am the most happy for you, Keith.” 

Keith stared up at him as he stood, a little speechless, he floundered for a moment and then he settled on a nod, “Thank you, Regris. That means everything to me.” 

Regris gave him a respectful nod goodbye, and Keith smiled to himself as he turned back to the stars.

He hadn’t noticed the last remaining weight on his shoulders, but to have it removed was like finally being able to breathe. He felt lighter and freer and truly happy, no more burdens on his soul.

* * *

 

“Regris said he’s happy for me.” 

Shiro blinked in confusion over his shoulder, “Who?” he wondered, fingers still where he had been unzipping his vest for bed. 

Keith blinked back, “Um...oh. I never told you his name, did I?” 

Shiro raised a brow, and through the confusion Keith felt slow, rising suspicion, then subsequent jealousy, possessiveness.

Wow.

“He’s the one who…?” Shiro clarified unnecessarily. 

Keith gulped and nodded, “Ah...yeah.” 

“He goes on _missions_ with you?” 

Sharp incredulousness.

Keith winced at that, “Sometimes.” 

Shiro was quiet for a time, “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Keith looked up, but Shiro was mostly, thankfully, just curious. At least that was all he could feel. “I...didn’t really think about it. We haven’t talked or...or anything, besides the other day, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Shiro winced, “I didn’t say you couldn’t talk to him.” 

“Kind of sounded like it.” Keith murmured. 

Shiro sighed, irritation budding, and then receding. “Keith, don’t do that.” 

Keith bristled and crossed his arms, “Do what?” 

Shiro went to sit beside him, “Turn it into an argument. That’s not what I’m trying to do.” 

Keith shuffled and kept quiet.

“Keith.”

“You forget I can feel what you’re feeling.” Keith rasped. 

Mild irritation again, steady this time.

“I know. And at times like this it’s not pleasant.” 

Keith’s gaze whipped toward him and he couldn’t help but grow defensive, “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” 

“ _No_...ugh. See that’s what I mean, you _do_ understand I can’t help it if I feel emotions for a bit before I reign myself in. You know that, right?” Shiro said.

Keith sighed, “Well you’ve been _irritated_ with me for a few minutes now.” 

“Keith... _sweetheart_.” Shiro took his hand, “Look...I’m very, _very_ bad at this.” 

Pure honesty, Keith glanced sideways at him. 

“I was just a little irked that you didn’t tell me you were working with him.” Shiro said, “I figured you _would_ and...I don’t know, I can’t help but have a knee-jerk reaction, feel like it’s was a secret or something.”

Keith was demure, “I thought it was just obvious. _Working_ with the Blades. _He’s_ a Blade.” he shrugged, “I thought you knew and I thought you didn’t care.” 

Shiro hummed in amusement, hand tightening around his in a wave of fierce possessiveness that Keith both admired and kind of feared sometimes. “Keith...I care far _too much_.” 

Keith gulped as Shiro held his gaze, silver eyes glowing with that same fierceness. “I don’t _ever_ want to control you, but no matter how much trust I have in you I can’t help but be jealous when I know you’ve spent time with someone who...” he sighed, “It’s just how I am. And I trust you wholeheartedly, Keith.” 

Well that was the truth, and Keith sagged with relief and resignation. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so defensive.” 

Shiro chuckled softly, “Well, I gave you reason to be.” he said, “I’m sorry I’m bad at saying things so they don’t come across wrong…I’m really fuckin’ bad at that.” 

Keith hummed with a small, brief smile, “I...didn’t know the bond made you uncomfortable.” he said. 

Shiro grimaced, “Not...uncomfortable, just...just-“ he paused to find the right word, “Well, just a little, and sometimes, not all the time. I mean, I don’t have anything to hide but...it’s nice to have your brain to yourself, you know? And I didn’t really know that until now.” 

Keith pulled his knees up to his chest, “I’m sorry.” 

Shiro sighed, “Don’t be, Keith. You can’t help it.” 

Keith shrugged, “We could have looked into the bonding thing a little more before we did it. We _should_ _have_ , so you would have known what you were getting into.” 

“It’s alright, Keith. Really.” Shiro assured, nuzzling into his space in a half desperate, half adorable way that Keith couldn’t help but smile at. “If it comes with loving you, I’ll take the whole package anyway, pros and cons both.” 

Keith chuckled softly, “For better or worse?” he joked, though the stunned silence that Shiro exuded afterward made him glance at his mate. 

“Shiro?” 

“Do…” Shiro began, gulping, nervousness wafting off of him, “Do you think of it like that?” 

“Like what?” 

“Marriage? Do you consider the whole mating bond thing marriage?” Shiro wondered, and at Keith’s ensuing stare he blushed, “B-Because I don’t mind if you do! In fact I’d like it if you did but I-I also understand if you think that’s going too far too quickly and I…oh fuck I shouldn’t have brought it up.” he planted his palm over his face and groaned.

Keith was endeared, to say the least, watching him panic and fluster so. “Shiro, you’re adorable.” he sighed. 

Shiro shrugged and glanced up at him through his lashes and a curtain of hair. And that really wasn’t fair at all, he looked like a kicked puppy. All big eyes and a pouty lower lip. 

Keith gently eased his hand into Shiro’s grasp, squeezing tight, “As far as the Galra are concerned, and...as far as I’m concerned, _yes_. I would love to say that...that it makes us husbands.” 

Shiro startled, and then he beamed as he lifted his head, “Really?” 

“Yeah.” Keith rasped, overcome with emotion so quickly he had to clear his throat and blink rapidly to clear it. 

Shiro grinned from ear to ear, pulling Keith into a tight embrace, and Keith grunted even as he reciprocated. “I love you. I love you so much, Keith.” Shiro murmured, “Keith...my _husband_.” he said quietly, as if testing the word on his tongue to see how it felt. 

Keith’s breath hitched as Shiro pulled back, cupping his face and staring down at him in wonder, “ _My husband_.” he repeated, eyes glossy, and Keith chuckled. 

“Takashi...don’t get all weepy on me now, you’ll make me cry too.” Keith whispered hoarsely.

“I think you’re overlooking the very important revelation that we are, in fact, by Galran law, _married men_ , Keith.” Shiro said tearfully with a laugh. 

“It’s been that way for a while, Shiro.” Keith pointed out. 

Shiro shrugged, “It’s only been official for two minutes.” he said as he stroked a thumb over Keith’s cheek, gently tucking his hair behind his ear, “Let me have this.” he leaned in and captured Keith’s lips in a delicate kiss, tilting his head and slowly, lazily mingling tongues until they were breathless and languid with the motions of it. Until Keith pulled back with a soft gasp and panted as Shiro smiled at him. 

“Wow.” Keith rasped. 

“ _Wow_.” Shiro agreed with a chuckle. 

* * *

 

“Did I ever tell you how good you look in that suit?” 

Keith scoffed and turned a smile over his shoulder, having just clicked the breastplate into place. It was a lazy night, despite the fact that they were very passionate and clingy in the aftermath of their intense discussion. Nothing beyond some very heavy making out and hickies had occurred. Surprisingly. 

“I have to go, Shiro.” 

Shiro grumbled and hefted himself to his feet, crowding up to Keith from behind and eliciting a soft giggle. “ _Right_ now?” 

Keith gasped as Shiro cupped him and kneaded softly over his groin, slowly coaxing his cock to stir.

“Kind of.” Keith whispered. 

Shiro hummed and kissed at the scar over Keith’s neck, “Baby…” 

Keith wriggled and chuckled, “Shiro...I’m...they’re waiting for me.” 

Shiro nuzzled him, kisses growing wet and delectable, enticing. 

“Shiro.” 

“Yeah, baby?” 

Keith turned in his grip and threaded his fingers through Shiro’s hair, all haphazard and gorgeous, spilling over his shoulders and down his back like that. “You’re relentless.” 

Shiro shrugged, smiling, “It’s been a few days.” he said. 

Keith grinned, “Insatiable.” 

“You initiate more than I do.” Shiro defended weakly. 

Keith raised a brow, “And _who_ was it that fucked me in the observation deck, the lounge, Black’s bay, that handjob in the kitchen-“ he listed off on his fingers, and Shiro shut him up with a most-welcome kiss, deep and _filthy_ and sloppy. 

“ _Mmph_.” Keith mumbled into it, and Shiro turned them to the bed, pushed him down on it and crawled over him, straddling his hips and rolling his down upon him. 

“ _Shiro..._ you’re kidding me.” he gasped as Shiro broke away from his lips to pepper kisses down his suited neck. 

“Nope.” Shiro murmured, fingers searching fruitlessly for some sort of seam on the front of his suit. 

Keith sighed and reached back to loosen it, but Shiro grabbed his hand, and Keith looked up at him with curious eyes. 

“Does it just open...down here?” Shiro wondered, sliding his free hand down to Keith’s cock, squeezing lightly and dragging a grunt from Keith. 

Keith chuckled breathlessly, “Um…” 

Shiro grinned, “It _does_.” he surmised from Keith’s blush. “Perfect.” 

Keith made to protest that, “It doesn’t really open on the back-“

Shiro shrugged, “That’s not what I had in mind.” 

Keith let his head fall against the mattress with a thump, smiling despite himself as Shiro figured out how to open his suit and pull his hardening cock out of the spacious opening. He curled his fist around it and stroked Keith slowly, watching him for every twitch of his features, the way his lips parted as he gasped and his hips rolled up into Shiro’s touch. Keith immediately missed him when he soon stood, pushing his pants down his legs. 

Keith bit his lip as Shiro straddled him again, and he choked on his breath when he just sank right down on him. No resistance, already slick. 

“ _Oh_...so-ah... _that’s_ what you were doing in the bathroom.” Keith grasped at Shiro’s hips as he began to leisurely ride him. “Fuck, Shiro.” he gasped, then chuckled, “Thought y-you were gonna blow me o-or something..” 

“Still could.” Shiro rasped, “When I’m done.” 

Keith scoffed and bucked his hips a little. 

Shiro tossed his head back, eyes fluttering closed while he rode Keith casually to his own end, he looked like the epitome of bliss, and that alone had Keith fighting to last. 

“You’re so-“ Keith’s breath hitched on a moan, “So beautiful.” 

Shiro laughed through a moan of his own, embarrassment and muted delight drifting through their bond, “That’s ridiculous.” he whispered, bracing himself over Keith as he sped his pace and panted sharply through it. 

“ _Hah_...no it’s n-not.” Keith panted, “You’re perfect, Shiro.” he trailed his hands up from Shiro’s hips to his chest, kneading and squeezing indulgently. Thumbs flicking over a nipples to garner those soft little whines from his mate.

Of course he didn’t fully believe that, but Keith could feel the satisfaction pouring off of him. 

“You like that? Don’t you?” Keith grinned breathlessly, “You like it when... _ah_...when I praise you.” 

Shiro scoffed, cheeks aflame, but he didn’t refute it, and Keith couldn’t help but take advantage of that. 

“You feel good, Takashi.” Keith murmured, “So...so good and t-tight for me.” he tried.

Okay now _he_ was embarrassed, biting his lip in wait of Shiro’s response. 

Shiro whimpered and bent over Keith to capture his lips desperately. Keith took his opportunity to roll them over, pinning Shiro’s hands by his head and fucking him down into the mattress until Shiro’s every breath was punctuated with a broken moan. 

“Beautiful.” Keith managed, kissing Shiro’s lips and then his jaw, his neck, leaving little bites and marks along the smooth column of skin with the utmost pleasure. “You’re so beautiful, Shiro.” 

“Keith-“ Shiro gasped, back arching and a soft moan escaping him as he pulsed and tightened around Keith. 

Keith bit his lip as he glanced down at the mess Shiro had made, speeding his thrusts to follow him over the edge. It didn’t take long, and Keith gave a whimper of his own as he emptied himself inside Shiro, peppering sweet, lazy kisses over his face and eliciting a tired laugh. 

Keith held himself up on quivering arms, unable to relax for fear he’d soil his suit, and smiled down at Shiro, soft and satiated and stretching out beneath him with a satisfied sigh. 

“Well.” Keith began, and Shiro peeked one eye open with a smirk, arms stretched out above his head and his hair all spread out like a halo on the mattress. “That was nice, Shiro.” he leaned down to lay a wet, gentle kiss upon lax lips, “You did so good for me.” 

Shiro blushed and wriggled under him, “Keith…” 

“What? You say that to me all the time.” Keith grinned, “It’s not my fault you’ve got a _kink_ for it.” he added along with another indulgent kiss.

“It’s not- _mmf-”_ Shiro mumbled, “Not a kink.” 

Keith chuckled, “Why do you blush so hard then? Come on, if you could tease me about the hair-pulling then I can tease you about a praise kink.” Keith sat back and swiped his bangs out of his face to no avail. “You deserve praise, honestly.” he whispered.

Shiro shifted and glanced up at Keith. 

“When I get back...maybe I’ll show you how _much_ you deserve it.” Keith murmured, low and husky, and Shiro bit his lip even as his cheeks flared with color. 

“God, Keith.” 

Keith chuckled and gently pulled out of him, standing and sighing at his shaky legs. “I have a mission to go on, and look what you’ve done to me.” he accused playfully as he pulled his suit back together and took a few wobbly steps. 

Shiro propped himself up on his elbows and shrugged without an ounce of regret or apology. “My bad.” he said with a grin. 

Keith wagged a finger in his direction, giving a sigh of absolute indignance as he stomped over and pulled Shiro into a deep, delving kiss. Shiro moaned and pulled him in close, hardly wanting to let him leave. “You’re a brat.” Keith rasped as he pulled away, licking at Shiro’s lips and reveling in the soft whimper he received, “I love you so fucking much.” 

Shiro’s smug smile softened, and Keith took in the wave of gentle adoration with a smile of his own, “I love you too, baby.” Shiro whispered, “Be safe.” 

“I always am.” Keith said, and Shiro tapped a finger at the thin scar on his hip, healed by the pods a couple weeks back. 

“ _Ahem_.” Shiro raised a brow.

“Okay that was...that was…” Keith sighed, unable to come up with a solid defense. “I’ll try to do better.” 

Shiro hummed and kissed him once more, “I know you do your best, baby.”

* * *

 

His best wasn’t good enough. 

Keith walked into Shiro’s arms in a daze, of course there was confusion, concern, but Keith didn’t have their answers. He was still utterly shocked. 

Kolivan had said loss was a part of being a Blade. And despite Keith’s protests he attempted to hammer home the fact that Keith couldn’t have saved him even if he’d had more time. They barely survived themselves. 

He tuned out Kolivan’s debriefing, staring unseeing at the tight knit of Shiro’s jacket. He was vaguely aware of Shiro stroking gently over his back, a gentle swaying of their bodies as he murmured something soft and assuring in Keith’s ear. 

Keith followed when Shiro urged him to, leading him down the halls with a firm, warm hand on the small of his back. Keith complied when Shiro pulled his suit away, helped him into the shower, and when Shiro washed the shampoo out of his hair he finally broke. He didn’t know why it happened then, maybe because he was finally safe, in his mate’s arms, naked and vulnerable. 

Keith hiccuped, and Shiro stilled where he was stroking his fingers through Keith’s hair.

“Baby?” 

Keith shook his head, covering his lips to stifle a sob. 

“Oh Keith.” Shiro drew him into his arms and Keith only continued to shake his head. 

“He was right there... _right_ there and I-I couldn’t-“ Keith whimpered, “Why’d he have to be so stubborn? _Fuck_.” 

Shiro’s emotions were going haywire, and Keith wasn’t trying to make sense of them at this point. “I’m sorry.” he rasped.

Keith choked over his own breath and laughed wet and mirthlessly, “I couldn’t save him.” 

“I know.” 

“He was my friend.” Keith cried and buried his face in Shiro’s chest, “He did _so much_ for me.” 

Shiro tightened his hold on him, and Keith sniffled and whined against him for so long he eventually went dry. Shiro helped him out, and Keith followed, exhausted, lax and pliant as Shiro dried his hair, toweled him down with delicate care, and brought him to bed. 

Keith curled into Shiro when he joined him, all damp, warm skin and wet hair sprawled out on the pillows to match Keith. His scent vibrant and soothing. 

“It’s not like...like I loved him or anything.” Keith murmured some time later, Shiro’s warm fingers tracing over his back in idle circles. “But...he...when you were gone, he became a friend to me. He would talk to me when I was down, he helped me get to the med-bay when I had my natural heat, when I was delirious and... _heh_...I bit him for it.” 

Shiro listened, soft waves of hurt, sympathy, some shame, pouring through the bond. He hummed a chuckle when Keith laughed wetly at that last bit. 

“I know loss is part of our jobs.” Keith continued, “I _know_.” 

Shiro pressed a kiss to his temple.

“So why does it still _hurt_ so bad?” Keith choked on a sob. 

Shiro rolled onto his side pulled him close as was possible, legs entwining and arms wrapped tight around one another while Keith poured his tears and his feelings into the comfort of Shiro’s embrace. 

“I’m here.” Shiro sighed, nuzzling into Keith’s hair, “I’m here, baby.” 

Keith gave a quieted, soft wail, and Shiro pulled him into a kiss, just to comfort him, just to let him know. 

“He died for nothing.” Keith rasped, “That ship was a fucking _decoy_ , Shiro. A _trap_ , and we walked right into it even though we were suspicious. We were such _idiots_.” 

“It’s not your fault.” Shiro assured, “You couldn't have known.” 

“Feels like it is. Feels like I should have made us turn back. I _should’ve-_ “ 

“ _Shh_...” Shiro soothed, wiping his tears away, “Don't blame yourself, don’t _ever_ blame yourself, baby.” 

Keith whimpered, and Shiro smiled sadly at him. 

“Just keep moving forward, that’s all you can do, Keith.” Shiro said, “That’s all _anyone_ can do. And I’m sorry, I’m _so_ sorry that you...you lost him. I really am.” he added, somewhat bitterly, but the truth was there, and Keith nodded as he slowly steadied his shaky, wet breath. 

“You’re okay.” Shiro murmured, and Keith sighed, closing his eyes as Shiro pulled him in tight. “You’re going to be fine, baby.”

* * *

 

Maybe it was the grief, maybe it was the fact that Keith threw himself into the Blade missions, maybe it was the fact that finding Lotor felt leagues more important than the coalition, and maybe it was because he’d never wanted the position of Black Paladin in the first place. Maybe it was because he was scared.

His comm was buzzing when he returned to the shuttle, and when he glanced at it he closed his eyes in a weary sigh. 

He’d fucked up again. 

They needed him and he wasn’t there. He felt terrible, he felt like he had failed them. But…

Keith read that last line again.

* * *

 

Shiro was conflicted. 

He hadn’t meant to take her back, he had wanted her more than anything, but Keith... _Keith_ was her Paladin now. Even though he wasn’t around to _be_ her Paladin. It felt so wrong to enjoy being in her seat again. It felt so wrong to finally feel like a puzzle piece had slid into place. Being stuck on the sidelines, helpless, it was never where he belonged. He belonged in the action, no matter where he was, what the situation was, he was a _man_ of action, born for conflict. Or maybe conflict wasn’t the right word...he’d figure out the right one later. 

For now…

Keith looked resigned when he entered the bridge, and this time there was no quelling the disparaging he received from his teammates. 

But it hurt to see him flinch. 

“You’re _never_ here!” 

“We _needed_ you!” 

“We’ve needed you so many times, Keith.” 

“People were depending on us!” 

“We can’t play this game anymore, not when we’re gambling lives.”

Keith took it all with silence, as if he deserved it. 

And the worst part was... _the worst part_...was that the team wasn’t _wrong_. 

Shiro gasped simultaneously with Keith, who glanced up at him in shock with violet eyes wide and hurt, tears glittering to life in them before he blinked them back. 

Shiro’s helmet creaked when he tightened his hold upon it, and Keith stared him down with a quiver, brows furrowing and his jaw working furiously. 

He didn’t mean that...he didn’t... _fuck_ , what did Keith feel? What did Shiro’s emotions  _say?_

Shiro took a step toward him, and Keith closed his eyes, clearing his throat. 

“You’re right. You’re all right.” Keith rasped, and everyone went silent, eerily so. 

Keith scoffed and gulped over the obvious lump of emotion in his throat, “I never meant for any of this to happen, but...but we can look on the bright side.” he glanced Shiro’s way, and his heart did a backflip, clenching tightly with regret in his chest. 

“Shiro can pilot Black again.” Keith declared. 

Shiro felt struck. It felt like Keith had quite literally gone and slapped him with that statement. 

He’d been so happy to be her pilot again. And he knew Keith said he didn’t want to be the Black Paladin, but...it felt like he all but stole her back. 

_…did Keith leave him any choice, though?_

He had all but abandoned the team in his strange grief, in his desperation to track Lotor down. There was nothing wrong with working to undermine the enemy, but at the cost of everything else? 

Shiro didn’t blame him for losing himself in his ambitions and his coping mechanisms, but it was true that it had gone too far.

“We’ve got a location pinned down.” Keith continued, “I’m...I think it would be best if I leave everything in your hands. You have five pilots, and I have a final mission. It will take a few weeks or so, but...I won’t be gone forever.”

_Wait...what?_

“Keith-“

Keith frowned when Shiro stepped forward, and Shiro couldn’t help but stop short, terrified of that look in Keith’s eyes, the wariness. He hadn’t seen that since…

“Keith...we aren’t trying to kick you out.” 

Keith smiled wearily at Allura, “I know you’re not, I’m just going on a mission, and now you don’t need to worry about whether you can form Voltron. And I’m glad. Shiro was always the true Black Paladin, anyway.” he glanced at Pidge, “And you can find your brother.” 

Pidge blinked, and then she ducked her head. 

Shiro stepped forward and Keith was obviously startled when he placed his hand on his shoulder, “Keith…” 

Keith was open and waiting, yearning, how did he do this right?

“If...if this is what you want, I...we won’t stop you.” he said carefully, and Keith visibly wilted. 

Keith gulped again and shook his head even as he smiled up at Shiro, “I...I won’t be gone long.” he murmured, “I love you?” 

_Oh don’t do that._

_Don’t phrase it like a question._

“I love you too, baby.” Shiro whispered, and Keith’s face crumpled briefly before he composed himself, and then he threw his arms around Shiro and kissed him desperately.

* * *

 

Keith was gasping for air when he got back to their quarters, Shiro hot on his heels. Trying not to panic over his decision. 

“Keith-“

Sure, he had kissed him and he had feigned contentment in his farewell, but Shiro...god Shiro...the bond was indeed both a blessing and a curse. He had felt the agreement, the disappointment. It was a crushing weight to willfully acknowledge exactly who it was coming from, and Keith had wanted to shrivel up and disappear when Shiro met his gaze. When Shiro wilted in shame at having projected his feelings. 

The saddest part was that he couldn’t even blame him for taking their side. He had been awful the past couple weeks. He didn’t really care about Voltron and he didn’t want to acknowledge why he was so...so carefree about it. 

“Keith I didn’t mean-“

“Oh you meant it, Shiro. Of course you meant it. That was pure honesty and don’t you dare try to insult me and attempt to convince me otherwise.” Keith snapped over his shoulder, collecting his clothing into a bag. He wouldn’t be gone long, but he would need a change of clothes sooner or later. 

Shiro was silent, and when Keith looked back he was smaller than he had ever been, hunched shoulders and arms curled around himself as he shook his head, eyes closed tightly and his teeth grit as he struggled. 

He struggled with need, despair, desperation, anger. 

Keith tied his bag and stood with a sigh. “I don’t hate you for it, Shiro. I _agree_ with you, I agree with all of you.” 

“Why do you have to go?” Shiro asked. 

Keith stilled at the sorrow and loneliness, the quiet despair. 

“I always go on these missions, Shiro.” Keith chuckled softly, ruefully, not meeting his piercing gaze. “And that’s not what you said on the bridge.”

“You’re only gone for a day at a time.” Shiro said, exasperated, “Or at least you _were_...why are you going? You could stay. I want you to stay.” 

Keith smiled ruefully, “I don’t...I just need to, Shiro.” 

Shiro growled at that, and Keith gasped as he stomped over, “Why?” he grasped Keith by the shoulders, “Why do you need to go? _Tell me_ why you’re pulling away from me.” 

Keith stared up at him in surprise. 

Shiro was panting and he was trying not to cry, beautiful silver gleaming in the low light while he quivered. 

“I’m not pulling away, Shiro.” 

“ _Bullshit_.” Shiro rasped, “You’ve been distant since Regris...since he died, and I’ve been trying, you can’t deny I’ve been trying to reach you.” his voice broke and his lip trembled, “ _Keith…_ ” 

Keith sniffled and wiped at the tears that he couldn’t fight, “I…” he began, unable to quite find the words to finish. “I...I just...need time.”

Shiro reaffirmed his steady hold on Keith, stroking up and down his arm, “Let me help.” he whispered, “Please, Keith. I love you so much, I don’t want you to go.” 

Keith gulped and rolled onto his tiptoes to kiss Shiro, the taste salty and sad and a confirmation of a goodbye that Shiro seemed to understand. 

“I love you too, Takashi. I’m not leaving to punish you.” Keith murmured, thumb brushing over Shiro’s lips as he gently settled back onto the heels of his feet. “I’m not leaving to _hurt_ you. I’m leaving because it’s...it’s what the universe needs, it’s what _you_ need...maybe it’s what I need too. Some time to myself, Shiro.” he said, chuckling tearfully, “I’m _such_ a fucking mess right now and I need to fix that.” 

Shiro hugged him tightly, shaking his head, “I can help you fix it.” 

Keith hummed, “Just a few weeks, Shiro.” he sighed, “Three or four small weeks and I’ll be back, I promise. I’ll find Lotor, I’ll find his quintessence, and we’ll start working toward the end of this war.” 

Shiro pulled back and stared down at him, searching his gaze. “Are you sure there’s no way you’ll stay?” 

“Three weeks, Shiro.” Keith insisted, “Unless Lotor shows up on the castle,” he added humorously, though it fell a little flat. 

“Why are you so obsessed with finding Lotor?” Shiro wondered. “I understand the quintessence, but why him too?” 

Keith blinked, as if he had never considered the answer to that question, and he wracked his brain furiously for an explanation. “I…” he began, floundering, and then he sighed. “The last time we fought the universe’s greatest threat I almost lost you forever.” 

Shiro tilted his head in consideration. 

Keith only continued, “And...I feel like...it’s my duty to stop whatever his son is planning. It’s my duty to find him, it’s my duty to find his quintessence strains. I feel like I’m keeping my mate safe, I feel like I’m doing more for the universe than just...performing parlor tricks in some of the most deadly weapons ever created. Catering to people who could probably turn on us any moment as soon as they find out what I am. I’m...actually glad I’m not a Paladin anymore, you know?” 

Understanding flooded through the bond, “You’re still a Paladin, Keith.” 

Keith shook his head, “Doesn’t matter now, in any case. I am still glad.” 

Shiro stared at him for a moment, and Keith went willingly when he sat and pulled him down into his lap. “You’re _scared_ of being a Paladin. You drew away from us on purpose, so that...so that we would be forced to replace you.” he murmured, searching Keith’s eyes for clarification, and Keith couldn’t help but stiffen in confirmation. 

It was true that the job only brought him anxiety after his experience, and he was more than happy with the idea of leaving the Lions behind, at least for a little while. He didn’t want to be useless, though. He wanted a purpose, he wanted Shiro’s cure, he wanted closure after Regris’s death, and hunting Lotor, hunting the source of the strange quintessence was exactly that. 

“Yes.” 

Shiro made a noise of distress against his shoulder, and Keith pet his fingers idly through his long hair, kissed him through his hair. 

“Shiro?” 

Shiro nuzzled against his shoulder.

“I’m not leaving until tomorrow, I’ll put it off for a day. Yeah?” Keith murmured softly, and Shiro nodded as Keith drew him into a kiss, wet and desperate and broken by an occasional sob on Shiro’s part. 

“I’m so sorry.” Shiro rasped between kisses, “I’m sorry they hurt you. I’m sorry you’re scared of this. I’m so _so_ sorry, baby.” 

Keith maneuvered them into bed, and once the fevered kisses had died down he smiled to himself, “Shiro…” 

Shiro blinked weary eyes open, “Yeah?” 

Keith hummed in a quiet sort of delight, “I think my heat is due in a couple months. I’ll...I’ll be back in time to spend it with you.” he said. 

Shiro sighed and offered a wobbly smile, “Okay.” he whispered, “Okay, Keith. I’d like that.” 

Keith pressed a dainty, sweet kiss to his nose, and Shiro wrinkled it in playful disdain. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

“I’ll miss you.” 

Shiro whined and pulled Keith into another hug. 

Keith nuzzled against him, hesitating only once before he murmured in his ear, “Make the most of tonight?” 

Shiro went still, and then Keith went willingly when he rolled over him, breath hitching as Shiro clawed at his suit, gripped tight onto his hips and bit sharply at his neck. 

_“Ah!”_

Keith bucked under him as he cupped his cock in a big, firm hand, kneading Keith and keeping his face hidden in his neck, breath already too heavy for how shortly this had been going. 

“Shiro...Shiro I love you.” Keith whispered and moaned, and Shiro made a choked noise against his neck, decompressing his suit the way he had once been shown, and Keith let him pull it away eagerly. 

“I love you, Keith.” 

Keith whined and pulled a knee to his chest, “Show me.” he rasped.

Shiro frowned and Keith bit his lip as Shiro pulled his hips into his lap and fumbled with the belt of his own suit. It was slow and emotional, when Shiro slid his cock inside him and began rocking their hips together, Keith clung to him and Shiro did so in kind. 

No words were spoken, just heavy panting, Shiro clutching Keith to his chest while they worked to a desperate completion together. And then Shiro sobbed against his neck once he had eased himself down upon him. 

“ _Don’t go.”_

“Just for a little while.” Keith rasped, kissing gently at Shiro’s trembling lips. 

“ _Please_.” 

“I don’t want to go.” Keith whispered.

“Then don’t.” 

“I…” Keith sighed, “I need this, Shiro. I need to find the quintessence. I need the closure. Please don’t beg me, I love you. _I love you_ and I’ll come back. I’ll _always_ come back for you.” 

Shiro nodded woefully and tucked his face in Keith’s neck, falling asleep like that, still buried deep inside Keith and curled around him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nuuuu Keef! And yes I'm sorry about Regris...I didn't wanna do it but plot advancement demands sacrifices ಥ^ಥ
> 
> (*whispers* just you wait I'm setting up one of the best parts of the story with this dramatic shit) 
> 
> You thought I could keep Shiro and Keith mad at eachother? You underestimate how weak I am! 
> 
> Shiro kept his fuckin' beautiful luscious locks don't @ me! Also don't @ me about the mating bond shit, Galra magic y'all! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> Okay, next chapter should be out sooner cause..well there's not as much to cover. God I'm excited too and that makes me write faster  
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I’ve had this ready to post for a whole day now I dunno why I’m so nervous about it. 
> 
> It’s a shorter chapter, though it's kind of cut from last chapter cause that one was just too long, haha
> 
> So **warnings**...we do have some discussions of depression and suicide later in the chapter. Also some fuckery with Shiro, like mind fuckery and I suppose you could classify it as body horror, though it's nothing extreme. But yeah, thought I should mention it in case it bothers somebody XD

Keith pressed a kiss to Shiro’s cheek where he slept soundly, though he did squirm every so often and make a soft, despairing noise. Like even in his sleep he was dreading Keith’s leaving.

It broke Keith’s heart. 

If it was possible to break it more than it already was. 

Still, he needed to do this, for Shiro and for everyone. He was mostly after that damned quintessence that eluded his every attempt to procure it. But avoiding the triggering conditions he endured as a Paladin and finding Lotor was just as important. He just couldn’t give this ambition up, not now when he was so close. 

He needed to go. He’d already put it off for too long.

But he wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye to his sweet mate, and he stroked his fingers through Shiro’s hair, coaxing him to the waking world as gently and kindly as he could. 

Shiro stirred and stretched out, long limbs straining as he grunted and sighed with contentment. And then he blinked his silver eyes open and smiled at Keith despite the sadness in them and in Keith’s senses. 

“Hi.” Keith whispered, and Shiro wrapped a warm arm around his waist to pull him in, nuzzling into Keith’s chest with a long, drawn-out sigh. 

“Sorry I was so emotional last night.” Shiro murmured, and Keith kept threading his fingers through his hair, humming in acknowledgement.

“You don’t need to apologize for that.” Keith said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

Shiro returned the kiss on Keith’s clavicle, and Keith smiled as he slowly drew away from him, sitting up with a weary sigh and staring down at Shiro where he was sprawled and pouting and gorgeous. He was going to miss him more than anything. 

“I’ll video call as often as I can.” Keith said. 

Shiro nodded, gulping and blinking rapidly as Keith stood up from the bed, leaning down to plant a kiss upon his waiting lips, sweet and tender, before he went to pull his suit on. 

“Might not be gone as long as I thought if we’re successful. I might be able to come back in a couple weeks.” he said absently as he straightened his suit and pulled piece by piece of his armor on. “Hopefully so.” he added with a brief smile cast in Shiro’s direction. 

The man was propped up on his elbow, gaze downcast and god he had the most compelling pout. Not to mention the empathic bond they shared. 

“Don’t do that.” Keith said.

Shiro blinked up at him, startled, “What? Do what?” 

Keith chuckled and knelt beside the bed, hand gone to cup Shiro’s face, thumb rubbing over his lower lip, “That face. That’s your baby face, makes it hard to resist you, you know?” 

Shiro gaped at him, _“Baby face?”_

“You could stop armies with that little pout of yours.” Keith leaned in to kiss him again, “Mmm, it’s cute.” he added as he pulled away. 

“I’m not _pouting_.” 

Keith grinned over his shoulder, “That’s a lie.” 

“I’m _not!”_

“Mhm.” Keith hummed as he buckled his belt into place and slid his dagger into its sheath. 

“....Keith?” 

Keith turned in mild concern at the new wave of sadness that hit him, saw Shiro’s big eyes, his lips downturned…

“Yes, Shiro?” he whispered breathlessly.

Shiro sighed, resigned, “One more kiss?” 

Keith smiled sadly at that, gone to gently straddle him and cup his face, stroke his hair away from where it was hanging into his eyes. He studied every nuance, even though he already knew it all like the back of his hand. The bright silver of his shimmering eyes, his thick, beautiful lashes, the purse of his lips. Keith sighed and then he leaned in to kiss him soundly. Shiro made a soft noise of desperation and held him tight, and Keith followed the less-than-chaste way he led. 

When Shiro finally slowed, pulled away and pressed his forehead to Keith’s they were both panting softly. 

Keith’s hands roamed over Shiro’s face and his shoulders, just caressing and assuring. 

“I love you.” Keith murmured.

Shiro nodded, “I love you too.” 

“I’ll be back soon.” Keith pressed another sweet kiss to his lips, and his nose, and sat back with a smile, “You won’t even miss me.” 

Shiro laughed bitterly, “I already do.” 

Keith softened at that, slowly standing, holding Shiro’s hand until he’d stepped too far away to keep ahold of it. “See you soon.” 

Keith let the door slide shut behind him, rubbing a hand over his face and taking a deep breath to rein his emotions in. He blinked the tears out of his eyes and shook his head, clearing his throat as he walked down the halls toward the hangar. 

* * *

It felt unfair, in hindsight. 

Watching Pidge fly off in Green made Shiro’s stomach twist with regret and it almost physically ached, how much he already missed Keith. He’d only been gone a few days, and as he promised, he video called only the day before. He was doing well, on a promising trail, and Shiro could only wish him luck while fighting the fact that when Keith wasn’t there, when he knew he wouldn’t be there for more than a month, it felt like he was hollow and a piece of him was just...gone. 

It felt unfair that they all waved Pidge off with their good luck’s and smiles. When Keith’s expeditions had been treated with disdain. Though they hadn’t at first, more tentativeness. It felt like a double-standard, and Shiro found himself fighting not to snap at the others as the days went on, far-too-easily prone to his irritations and frustrations. 

He knew it was just as much his fault as theirs. That was probably what made it so upsetting.

Stationed on Olkarion, there wasn’t much to do to vent. Sure, he kept busy helping the refugees move in, but the fact that he couldn’t go back to his room and have Keith be there, smiling and soft and pliant under him…

He was more than distressed and it was strange. He couldn’t get it out of his head. Allura brought it up when she found him on the observation deck, no galaxies to stare at, but the night sky of Olkarion was enough, he supposed. 

The princess sat beside him, an arm’s length away, and propped her chin upon her hand, studying him quietly.

Shiro bristled, glancing at her warily in his periphery for a grand total of one minute. 

“What?” 

Allura gave him a sad smile, “You’re tense.” 

Shiro scoffed, rubbing his hand over his eyes, “Gee, what gives you _that_ impression?” 

Allura sighed and scooted closer, “You miss Keith.” 

Shiro turned a deadpan her way, “Of course I do.” 

Allura nodded, “You do know I never intended for him to leave us, right?” 

“I know.” Shiro said, “I know it wasn’t your intention. But he wanted this. It was too much, what happened to him, losing Regris, _my_ …” he cut himself off when he remembered that no one aside from Keith knew of his ailment. 

Allura laid a hand on his shoulder, “I knew the diplomatic missions and the publicity were upsetting to him, perhaps I should have seen his withdrawal coming.” 

“It’s a little more than that.” Shiro said, “He’s got...other motivations, aside from his trauma. Anyway, I’m happy for him, to find comfort in work that doesn’t trigger him every day. But...I miss him so much I feel like...like I can’t function.” 

“That’s the mating bond.” Allura said, and Shiro’s head whipped toward her. 

“How did you know we-?” 

Allura smirked at that, “It’s not subtle, Shiro. His jacket can only cover it at so many angles.” She leaned back and crossed her arms, “You may be human, but Galran physiology is strong, it’s how they’re able to spread across the universe in more than just conquest. Galra hybrids were as common as Jervuan beetles even ten-thousand years ago.” 

Shiro hummed, “How does it work? The bond.” 

Allura shrugged, “I’m not the best person to ask, I know it’s some sort of telepathic bond, I suppose the best way to describe it is linking quintessence. But that’s my vague understanding. It’s actually rather fascinating when you think about it. I’ve not seen another species do similar, and I know of millions.” 

Shiro considered that, “So...that’s why Keith can read my emotions?” 

Allura looked surprised, “Wow! It works that well for you despite the fact that Keith is only half Galra?” 

Shiro gave a so-and-so gesture, “ _I_ can only get a vague sense of him, I guess. But he knows what I’m feeling, all the time. It’s frustrating more often than not, but it’s also easier sometimes.” he said. “Starts arguments more easily, that’s for sure, but it also resolves them quickly, because he knows when I’m sincere, I guess.” 

Allura hummed in fascination, smiling at him, “That’s nice.” she said, and then she tutted as she stood and went to sit on the spine of the couch behind him, pulling his hair into her hands. 

“Wh-What are you doing?” Shiro wondered, tilting his head back. 

“You have no idea how to do this yourself, do you?” she asked as she began twisting his hair into an updo, pinning it with the pin that held her own hair up. 

Shiro sighed, “Keith usually does it for me.” 

Allura gave another hum, “That’s another thing Galra like to do, groom their mates. Though rest assured it does not mean the same coming from me.” she added with a chuckle, patting Shiro’s shoulder as she finished and stood up. 

“Heh...thanks.” Shiro said, reaching up instinctively to feel his hair, grateful for the lack of it shrouding his face. “I suppose I’ll have to procure your services more often nowadays...while he’s gone.” 

Allura smiled as she twisted her own hair into a haphazard braid over her shoulder in lieu of the bun she usually sported. “Of course, perhaps I can teach you, too.” 

Shiro smiled back, “I’d like that.” 

Allura turned on her heel, then she glanced over her shoulder, “I have some matters to discuss with Rhyner...but I’m glad to have spoken with you, and I want you to know that I’m here if you’re feeling stressed or you need someone to talk to when Keith’s not around.” 

Shiro gave a nod, “Thanks.” he said quietly, turning back to the night sky and drawing his knees up to his chest with a sigh. 

He wondered when Keith would call again.

* * *

Keith hissed as he sat down and traced his fingers over the bandages wrapped snug around his ribs. He was lucky the blast had glanced off of his armor, but it still sure left a mark. 

Two broken ribs and a nice volleyball-sized bruise to be exact.

He grabbed his tablet and pulled up Shiro’s call sign, settling the thin device against a pillow on his lap, smiling down wearily at the screen when Shiro answered within seconds, eager and smiling wide to see him. 

“Hey, Keith.” Shiro breathed, “How are you? How...how’s it going?” 

Keith smiled fondly, he was obviously eager for Keith to return. And Keith himself was just as eager, but he did have a mission, after all. An important one that Shiro’s well-being depended on...the universe’s too.

“It’s going good. Well...progressing as well as it can. This trail Lotor’s left is hot but...god it’s long.” Keith rubbed a hand over his face, “Feels like I’ll never reach the end.” 

Shiro hummed, and Keith watched as he settled the tablet he was using against the headboard of their bed and laid down, head propped up on a pillow and tilted to the side in an almost bashful stare, just taking Keith in. 

Keith shifted, suppressing a wince as his rib tugged painfully, though his breath hitched all the same, and he played it off as he spoke, “Wh-What’s up? Hmm?” 

Shiro shook his head, “You dodged my first question.” he said teasingly. 

Keith considered, “What?” 

“You said things were going well, you didn’t say how _you_ were doing.” Shiro pointed out. 

Keith hunched his shoulders, “Ahh...well…” 

Shiro raised a brow, “Show me, baby.” he said.

Keith stared back, mildly shocked that he knew, and then he sighed as he tilted the tablet down and let Shiro see the bandages. 

“What happened?” 

Keith shrugged, “Blaster hit. Couple broken ribs. Nothing crazy.” he said.

“Cause broken ribs are nothing.” Shiro said with an exaggerated nod, “ _Sure_.” 

Keith frowned, glancing to the side guiltily. 

“I’m mostly teasing, Keith.” Shiro said gently. “Just...please be careful.” he pleaded.

“I _am_ careful. Lasers are pretty damn fast, you know.” Keith muttered, “Hard to dodge.” 

“I know, baby. I just don’t want the next call to be someone saying you-“ Shiro cut himself off and rubbed his hand over his face with a sigh, “I miss you.” he said as he smiled wearily through the screen. 

Keith smiled a bit at that, “Miss you too.” he said. 

“How much?” Shiro asked with a grin.

Keith scoffed, “A lot.” he said matter-of-factly. 

“So you _think_ about me a lot.” Shiro nodded with a considering look about him. 

“Duh.” Keith chuckled. 

Shiro sighed and nuzzled against the pillow he was hugging, “I think about you a lot too.” he murmured. “Mostly whether you’re safe.” he grew pensive, “Will you come back to heal?” 

Keith sighed and shook his head, “They don’t have pods, but they have quintessence ointments. I’ll be fine in a day or so.” 

Shiro wilted, “I see.” he murmured. And then he seemed to do a complete 180 and he was smiling softly again, “I think of you at night too.” 

Keith tilted his head, “How’s that different?” 

Shiro only blushed and smiled, gaze cast to the side bashfully.

Keith bit his lip, “Are you trying for phone sex?” 

Shiro perked up immediately, “Is it working?” 

Keith laughed at that, and then he gasped and clutched his side, and Shiro’s playfulness dimmed a bit. 

“Sorry baby.”

Keith shook his head, waving his free hand, “S’fine.” 

“I’ll try another time, when you’re not hurt.” Shiro said with an apologetic smile and, after a moment, a wink.

Keith huffed defiantly at that, grabbing the tablet and setting it to the side, propping it against the pillow and giving Shiro a pointed look as he slipped his hand under the waistband of his underwear. “ _Now’s_ good.” he said as he curled his fingers around his soft cock and began stroking himself. 

Shiro chuckled against his pillow, breathless and his eyes fixed on the movements of Keith’s hand, tongue gone to wet his lips, probably without even thinking about it. 

Keith bit his lip against the force of his smile, letting his eyes flutter shut when he felt himself twitch beneath his own fingers. “Y’just gonna sit there?” he wondered, pausing to hook his thumbs in his underwear and wriggle it down his hips. He bit back a gasp when his ribs jolted again, and then he sighed as he relaxed and lazily tugged at his cock, all the while looking at Shiro. Watching his pupils blow wide as he watched Keith’s hand move. 

“Shiro?” Keith prodded in a soft little moan.

“I like watching.” Shiro mumbled, working his lip between his teeth and then exhaling a chuckle when Keith scoffed. 

“I’d like to watch you too, you know.” Keith tossed his head back and rubbed his thumb over the slit, spreading a tiny bead of cum and then bringing it up to his lips. He glanced at Shiro before he licked at the pad of his thumb, and Shiro sighed as he rolled onto his back and grabbed the tablet, settling it beside him in a similar fashion to Keith. 

Keith laughed haltingly when he saw Shiro was already naked, hard against his stomach, because of course he was.

“You planned this.” he accused.

Shiro shrugged and fisted his own cock, leisurely jerking it while he smiled over at Keith, “Maybe.” 

Keith hummed and whined when he went slick, carefully reaching his free hand down to _try…_

“ _Goddamnit_.” he breathed.

“What?” Shiro wondered, hand slowing. 

Keith laughed again, breathlessly, and trailed his hand up his side, “Can’t reach.” he said, “Ribs won’t let me.” 

“See?” Shiro said, “That’s why you need me there.”

Keith nodded, biting his lip as he tweaked a nipple between his fingers and quickened his pace on his dick, “Yeah. Yeah I do.” 

Shiro was quiet for a second, and then he tried, hesitantly, “You need my fingers.” 

Keith whimpered, “Y-Yeah.”

“Need my cock.” 

Keith glanced over, grinning even as he blushed, “I do.” he whispered, “You’re cute when you dirty talk, Shiro.” he said, and Shiro blushed just as much as him, turning his head as he worked his own dick. 

“Harder when you’re not here.” Shiro gasped, “You _insist_ on calling me c-cute.” 

“Cause you are.” Keith said simply, groaning as his stomach tightened, he slowed his pace again, not wanting to come before Shiro, and he already had a head start on him. “You’re hot. But cute too. You can be both.” 

Shiro raised a brow at him. 

“If you’re my husband you’ll have to deal with the endearment, Shiro.” Keith said in a smirk. 

Shiro sighed dramatically, “If I must.” he smiled back at him, thumbing over the head of his cock and breathing a moan, it seemed a little overplayed for Keith’s benefit.  

Keith watched him, idly drawing his fingers over his belly, “I haven’t sucked your dick in a while.” he said, longing, “When I get back…” 

Shiro moaned, eyes screwing shut, “You c-could come back sooner.” he stuttered. 

“Yeah? When did you have in mind?” Keith wondered, hand gone around his cock again. 

“Right now?” Shiro suggested with a sad smile. 

Keith chuckled, “All the way out there for a _blowjob?”_

“No.” Shiro said, “Just so I can see you.” 

Keith softened at that, “Shiro…” 

“I miss you, baby.” Shiro rasped, “Miss you so much...mmm.” he sped his pace, and Keith matched him, guilt clenching tightly around his heart while he followed Shiro to a climax, gasping as he watched Shiro come all over his fingers, watching Keith in kind. 

Afterward, panting, Shiro reached over the camera and cleaned his hands off, of course he had a rag at the ready. And then he settled onto his side, watching Keith so softly and fondly that Keith found himself blinking back tears. 

He grabbed for his underwear to wipe his hand on, and then he rolled onto his side, facing the tablet and reaching over to brush his fingers over the image of Shiro, “I miss you too.” he whispered, smiling even as his eyes watered. 

Shiro sighed, “Few more weeks?” 

Keith nodded, clearing his throat, “Yeah.” 

“Maybe sooner.” Shiro said, “I...I had an idea the other day.” 

Keith waited, curious.

“I’m going to wait until Pidge gets back, but I figure if we take over those Zaiforge canons we discovered, amassed the coalition and the Blades, we could take the entire quadrant we’ve been working on for the past couple years. Those canons are the only reason the Galra still have a foothold here, after all.” 

Keith nodded, “Yeah? Maybe we could.” he said. “That’s ambitious. What gave you that idea?” 

Shiro shrugged, “I was in the shower.” 

Keith snickered, “Shower thoughts.” 

Shiro smiled, “Yeah, I suppose so.” and then he frowned, “Is it weird to say that thoughts feel like they’re not even yours sometimes?” 

Keith pursed his lips, “I mean, I can read your emotions...when I’m close to you.” he said, “Kind of similar. It’s not that weird.” 

Shiro hummed, looking pensive and disturbed.

“Are you okay, Shiro?” Keith wondered. 

He nodded, heaving a sigh, “Just feel funny sometimes.” 

“Your...your dystrophy?” Keith asked.

Shiro stared at some point in the distance for a time before he nodded again, “Yeah. I guess.” 

“I’m working on it, babe.” Keith murmured. 

Shiro smiled again, “I know you are.” he chuckled softly, “Kind of wish you weren’t.” 

“Shiro-“ 

“You’d be _here_ instead.” Shiro finished, glancing up at him through his lashes. 

Keith gulped over the newfound lump in his throat, “Soon, Shiro.” he murmured. “You’re pouting again.” 

Shiro huffed. 

“Big baby.” Keith stroked his fingers over the screen again, “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

* * *

Shiro joined the commotion of Pidge’s return, glad to see her come back smiling, that could only mean her success. 

And then came Matt. Older, scarred, but essentially still himself. Shiro was glad to see it.

“Holy _shit!_ Shiro?!” 

Shiro grinned and pulled Matt into a hug upon his tentative approach. “It’s good to see you, Matt.” 

Matt stepped back with a breathy chuckle, “Wow! You look…different.” 

“You can say terrible.” Shiro said with a lopsided grin. 

“Nah, that's _definitely_ not the word I’d go for.” Matt said with a sly smile, eyeing him up and down.

Shiro barked a nervous laugh. 

Matt pointed to his nose and then his own cheek, “Hah! Scar buddies.” 

Shiro suppressed a wince, “Yeah, I guess.” 

“Never thought you’d go for the whole elf-hair look.” Matt said, “Mr. Undercut.” 

“Elf hair?” Shiro muttered, “Wasn’t exactly my choice.” 

Matt raised a brow at that.

“Matt! I gotta show you around the castle!” Pidge was suddenly clinging to his arm like a gremlin, and Matt was dragged off before he could even formulate a response. 

“I dare say I think he was flirting with me.” Allura said, smiling almost wistfully to herself. 

Lance huffed, “He sure was.” he muttered under his breath.

“Do I have elf hair?” Shiro asked.

“Yes.” Hunk and Lance said in unison. 

Shiro touched the updo Allura had helped him with that morning self-consciously, “Is that a bad thing?” 

“ _No_.” 

Again, both in unison.

* * *

“We haven’t found Lotor yet, but there’s been unrest in the Empire.” Keith was saying through a yawn, kicking his feet in the air while he lay on his stomach and spoke to Shiro on the other side of the screen. ”We don’t know the specifics. But…” Keith trailed off, “We think Zarkon is alive, and his generals are protesting Lotor’s rule.” 

Shiro looked stricken, “Zarkon is _alive?”_

Keith cleared his throat, “We don’t know for sure. But there are rumors recently.”

Shiro sighed, “ _Fantastic_.“ 

Keith offered him a sympathetic look, “I was thinking about what you said, though. If there’s a power struggle in the Empire then now would be the most opportune time to launch your plan.” he said, “They’ll be scattered and confused and it’ll be easier to make your plan a reality.” 

Shiro nodded, “That’s true.” he said, “Very true.” 

Keith shuffled in place, “Means I’d get to see you sooner.” he said, “Though I might be anyway. Kolivan said he wants to put a hold on this mission since we’ve lost the trail. He may have a better way of finding it again...but it will take time to contact my…my mother.” 

Shiro perked up, “You haven’t met her yet?” 

Keith shook his head, “I’d have told you.” 

“Seen pictures, at least?” Shiro asked.

Keith paused, “I should ask Kolivan, honestly.” he said, “I didn’t think of that for some reason.” 

“You should.” Shiro agreed, gaze drifting, it had been doing so for a while, enough that Keith finally pointed it out. 

“What are you looking at?” he wondered. 

Shiro hummed, “Are your shoulders getting bigger?” 

Keith blinked and glanced down, “Oh...uh...maybe? I’ve been training with the Blades a lot. Climbing, parkour, shit like that.” 

Shiro nodded, “You look good.” he said with another sweep of his gaze.

Keith chuckled softly, “Might just be that you haven’t seen me in a while. Hey, how’s Matt?” 

“He’s good. He’s far better than I was afraid he’d be. And he’s been helping us with a tracker for the Galran fleets.” Shiro explained. 

“Oh yeah?” Keith tugged his pillow over and propped his chin upon it, tired of holding his head up. 

“He says, theoretically, he and Pidge can make an almost-live feed of their fleet positions.” Shiro explained. “It’d be a tremendous advantage, we’d finally be able to see them coming, or predict it at the very least. That’s always been the brunt of our problems fighting the Galra, after all.” 

“Yeah.” Keith mumbled, eyes falling shut. 

“Are you tired, baby?” Shiro asked with amusement in his tone, “Or are you just bored with the subject matter?” 

Keith smiled, eyes still closed. “I could listen to you for hours, and you could talk about nonsense if you wanted to. Love your voice.” he rasped. 

“If you’re tired you should go to sleep, baby.” 

“Mm.” Keith hummed, “But then I wouldn’t be able to listen to you talk.” he finally peeled his eyes open to glance up at the tablet, bleary and exhausted. “It was a long day.” he sighed. “Keep talking to me, Shiro.” 

Shiro chuckled softly, “If you say so.” he said as he began relaying all the mundane events of the past few days.

Keith fell asleep within minutes, and Shiro spent a few more watching him lightly snore against his pillow before he gave an endeared sigh and ended the call. 

* * *

It wasn’t easier, it was just normal, to be missing him. 

Shiro supposed It was inevitable that he would ask about his mood.

“You never used to be this sulky.” 

Shiro glanced at Matt in his periphery. “Never really used to have someone to sulk over.” he said. 

Matt raised a brow, “Well damn if that’s not some cliche, lovesick bullshit I don’t know what it is.” 

Shiro scoffed. 

“So who’s the lucky guy?” Matt settled himself down next to Shiro and propped his head on his hand. 

Shiro smiled to himself, “Keith.” 

Matt was quiet for a moment, “Wait...Keith... _Keith_ the tiny raging kitten?” 

Shiro barked a laugh and covered his eyes with a hand, “Tiny raging kitten?” he mused to himself, “Suppose that’s even more accurate now. But yeah, that Keith.” 

“He’s _here?_ I haven’t seen him at all!” 

“He’s not at the castle right now.” 

Matt hummed, “Why not?”

“He’s got a mission with the Blades.” Shiro explained absently. 

“The big scary good guy Galra?” Matt clarified. 

“Yup.” 

“Nice.” Matt concluded, “Wait why is he with the Blades? Aren’t they like, a Galra-only organization?” 

Shiro smirked, still looking out at the stars, “ _Yup_.” he repeated, and then he glanced over at Matt to wait for the other shoe to drop.

Matt stared at him for a while. 

Shiro raised his brows pointedly.

Matt sighed, pressing his fingers to his forehead, “So, let me get this straight.” he said, “You’re with Keith romantically, feisty kitten Keith, who is also a Galra.” 

“ _Half_ -Galra.” Shiro nodded. 

“So that means Keith’s dad... _He’s_ the guy who got the title of first human to fuck an alien?” 

Shiro laughed incredulously, “ _That’s_ what you’re upset about?” 

“I was out to claim that title!” Matt exclaimed, “And now you tell me Keith’s _dad_ beat me to it over twenty years ago. Fantastic.” 

Shiro laughed heartily and pat Matt sympathetically on the back, “Sorry, buddy.” 

Matt just sighed. And then he jolted as another thought occurred to him, “Fuck! And you got second place didn’t you?” he pointed an accusing finger Shiro’s way.

Shiro continued to snicker, nodding even as he blushed. 

“God _damnit!”_

* * *

“Whose idea was... _the shirt?”_

Shiro groaned and dropped his head to the pillow below. “Please, Keith.” 

“That was...god it was practically _painted_ on, you know.” Keith continued, biting his lip at the memory. “Whose idea was it? I need to pay them my everlasting gratitude.” 

Shiro grunted into the pillow before he gave a muffled: “Coran.” 

Keith cursed and chuckled, “Of _course,_ I owe him even more now.” 

Shiro grumbled, and then raised his head, “Please, I’m already so embarrassed about the fans and shit. This is like the Garrison on steroids.” 

“Thought you liked the attention.” Keith said, and then added with a smirk, “ _And_ the praise.” 

Shiro flushed for a whole new reason, “Baby…”

“Can’t deny it now, Shiro.” Keith continued, teasing, “I’ve been in bed with you, remember?” 

Shiro growled, “ _Vividly_.”

Keith only chuckled softly and heaved a sigh, “It’s great. The show. The Blades watch it a lot, it’s amusing to them, and nice for me. To see you guys. Who knew you were all okay actors?” 

“Just okay?” Shiro prodded.

“Yeah it's a little iffy sometimes.” Keith smiled sweetly. 

Shiro sighed, “Well now I know not to go into the acting business. You happy, baby?” 

Keith cooed playfully, “I’m not gonna lie to you, Shiro.” 

“ _Mmf_.” Shiro huffed. 

“Shiro…” 

Shiro glanced back at him, “Yeah, baby?” 

Keith sighed, “I miss you.” he rasped.

“Miss you too.” Shiro responded.

Keith shook his head, smiling even as he started to fight tears, “Have you been feeling good lately? Have you been...this is going slower than I thought it would and I just want to make sure you’re okay cause...cause I don’t want you to be suffering-“

“Hey...hey, Keith...sweetheart.” Shiro sat up, pulling his tablet into his lap, “I’m doing just fine, I’m...I don’t hurt or anything. Not like I used to.” he assured, furrowing his brow as he thought that fact over. 

Keith nodded, exhaling shakily, “I worry a lot for you.” 

Shiro smiled, “Likewise.” he whispered. 

“I don’t mean to get emotional, I just get scared sometimes.” Keith continued, gaze downcast while he picked at a loose thread, “I get scared a lot.” 

Shiro nodded, “That’s okay.” 

“Do you feel like talking to me again?” Keith wondered, “Until I fall asleep? I just...just wanna hear your voice.” 

Shiro complied easily, and once Keith was sound asleep he quietly ended the call, sitting up and raising his left hand. 

The pain was something he knew well, something he had known for nearly two decades. The pain was almost like an old friend. 

Only...it wasn’t there anymore. 

Shiro took in a sharp breath as he realized it, flexed his hand slowly, twisting his wrist around, nothing. Not a twinge or an ache. That was strange, because even last time he’d been kidnapped by the Galra it hadn’t ever left. He’d pushed it to the back burner, what with survival being his priority, but it never just...stopped. Never. 

Shiro rubbed his metal thumb into the muscle of his palm, considering what the hell it could mean. And how he could even start to puzzle out why it was happening. 

He inhaled sharply, hissing in pain at the throbbing headache that overtook him. 

“Fuck... _god_.” he rasped, clutching his head, and then it was gone...or at least reduced to a mild ache. 

What was he thinking about, again? 

Shiro stared at the floor for a moment, blinking while he wracked his brain for it. Keith had said something and...wasn’t he _just_ thinking of it? 

“I need a fucking nap.” he concluded with a sigh. He was too tired to think straight, apparently. 

* * *

“Unrest in the Empire, turmoil.” Kolivan was saying, “What the Black Paladin suggests is ideal. And it is even further ideal that we lay this plan into action as soon as possible. With the Emperor distracted hunting Lotor we can use the further confusion to our advantage.” 

“The Empire is the weakest it’s been in ten thousand years.” Allura proclaimed, “We finally have a leg up on them, we will move as soon as we can collect everyone into one place.” 

“The Coalition is behind you,” Rhyner said, “Two cycles at the most. We will have a third of the Empire’s territory, we’ll have a foothold established to enact the end of their tyranny.” 

“You’re seriously gonna take Naxcella on your lonesome?” Matt leaned in to ask in a murmur.

Shiro turned a smile his way, “You’ve never seen Voltron in person. Shit’s intense.” 

“Well with this plan I won’t _be_ there to see it. Since you’ll have me stationed half a solar system away.” Matt deadpanned. 

“Boo hoo.” Pidge elbowed him, “Universe first, awesome robots later. Focus, Matt.” 

Shiro chuckled softly, glancing up at Keith in the feed of Kolivan’s transmission. Keith was distracted, tapping away at a tablet and listening to Kolivan, Allura, and Rhyner hash out the details. He was a vision even with the grainy feed, and Shiro’s heart seized with the need to run his fingers through his beautiful hair, feel the silkiness of it. God he missed touching Keith. 

Soon, he supposed. The Blades would meet up with the castleship after the battle. 

Shiro couldn’t wait. 

* * *

Keith wondered if he was in shock. 

Every extremity was freezing cold, like ice, and he was shaking as he guided his stolen fighter into the hangar. 

He sat there after landing, listening absently to the radio chatter and staring down at his dashboard, every breath just as icy and…

 _Oh_. 

That was because he was hyperventilating. 

Keith clutched to his hair, tears spilling over to drip down his cheeks. He had been seconds away from just...not existing anymore. He was that close to just being a memory, still so much left he wanted to do with his life. And in that moment he hadn’t remembered a bit of it, in that moment all he could think of was saving Shiro. All he could of was the fact that Voltron wasn’t far away enough from Naxcella. All he could think of was stopping it’s imminent detonation, even at the cost of his own life. It was a slim chance but in that moment he’d rather have died saving Shiro than to have let it continue. 

Keith choked on his shortness of breath, finally registering the way a fist slammed against the canopy insistently. 

Keith glanced up, saw Matt shouting against the hood and Keith popped it open on reflex, gasping when Matt took hold of him and pulled him into a hug. 

“You fucking moron! You son of a bitch!” 

Keith stared at the distant ceiling of the hangar, hiccuping and just sitting there in Matt’s embrace. 

“You scared the living daylights out of me! You son of a bitch...you _son_ _of a-“_ Matt was all but crying. “If you had died...what the hell were you thinking?!” 

“I wasn’t.” Keith rasped. 

“God when Shiro finds out-“ 

Keith gulped, “Don’t tell him.” 

Matt pulled back sharply, “You think I’m just gonna sit quietly on the fact that you tried to _fucking kill yourself-!”_

Keith buried his face in his hands, “I had to _do_ something.” he whispered. 

“Yeah well _something_ didn’t have to be crashing your ship into a fucking forcefield!” Matt exclaimed. “What the _hell_ do you think...even if it _had_ worked, how do you think Shiro would feel if Lotor of all goddamn people didn’t show up to save your stupid ass? You expected me to tell him _‘Keith rammed his ship into the shield and now he’s dead. He’s fucking dead, Shiro.’_ you think that would have gone over well?! You think it wouldn’t break his heart?”

Keith sobbed, shaking his head as he muffled noises against his hand, and Matt finally went quiet. 

“M’ _sorry._ ” Keith managed through the hiccups and the blur of his vision. 

“You should hope you are when Shiro gets here.” Matt sighed. 

“Don’t...please don’t tell him.” Keith pleaded, “I fucked up, I _know_. I don’t want him to be scared.” 

“Tough shit.” Matt snapped, “You need help, Keith. If you were even contemplating that shit _at_ _all_ then he deserves to know. You’re my friend, and Shiro is my _best_ friend.” 

Keith’s eyes slid shut in resignation when Matt stormed away. Fuck.

_Fuck._

Keith slammed his palm into the dashboard of the ship, hoisting himself out of it and hurrying out of the hangar. 

He wiped furiously at his eyes, taking deep, calculated breaths as he tried to figure out what he was going to say to Shiro. He had no clue how he would defend himself to him. He didn’t feel like he _deserved_ to defend himself. 

* * *

Shiro exhaled a laugh as he jogged out of his Lion, Lotor willingly in custody...the day won. What a shitshow they went through to succeed, but when it was all said and done they _did it_ , even through a setup. 

The other Paladins poured into the hall just as he exited his hangar. 

“That was intense!” 

“I can’t believe we got out of there!” 

“Allura you were amazing!”

“Lotor helped us?” 

Shiro smiled along with them, “We did it, guys.” 

“With a hand, yes.” Allura muttered, pulling her comm out, “Kolivan has Lotor in the brig, I suppose I’ll go ask some questions-“

“ _Shiro_.” 

Shiro turned in confusion at the way Matt snapped his name. “Uh-“

“You better go have a chat with Mr. Suicide Charge.” Matt said, scowling, “ _He-_ “ he cut himself off when his voice broke, “God Shiro he almost-“ 

Shiro was astonished and so very confused, “Who...what are you talking about?” 

Matt turned to Allura, “If Lotor was even a  _second_ later in saving us...” he implied.

“Wh-who is Mr. Suicide Charge?” Hunk wondered hesitantly. 

Matt sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Keith.” he said, and Shiro’s blood ran cold.

“ _What?”_

“He...we were desperate and he thought maybe he could use his fighter to break through the shield-“ 

Shiro grabbed Matt by the shoulders, _“Where is he?”_ he murmured, low and dangerous. 

Matt looked up at him in astonishment, “Last I saw he was in the main hangar.”

Shiro pushed off from him and stormed down the halls, panting, ears rushing with his heartbeat and panic welling in his chest. 

He could sense him a little. It was a breath of fresh air to be able to do so after so long, and yet he couldn’t stop to enjoy it. He was...he was too terrified to. 

He could somewhat pinpoint him, Keith wasn’t in the hangar, he was moving. 

* * *

Keith stiffened when he felt it. 

He had sensed Shiro from the moment he landed on the ship. He exuded elation and relief, but then confusion, terror, and subsequent fury…

Keith curled up tighter and gathered Shiro’s pillow close, eyes screwed shut as he waited. The sense of him was getting stronger with each passing second. And then he felt turmoil, hesitance. 

Keith glanced at the door, sitting up slowly when Shiro didn’t enter, when he just stood outside and endured a hurricane of emotion. 

“Shiro?” Keith called quietly. At the lack of reply Keith got to his feet, laying the pillow down and approaching the door. He placed his palm on the cool metal surface and waited, waited for Shiro to act. 

Nothing happened, and Keith reached over to press his hand to the panel. The door slid open and Shiro startled back from where he had been standing, forehead probably resting against the door. 

Keith hugged himself, not trusting himself to speak, not willing to light the fuse to all that terror and anger that he was sensing. So instead he simply turned on his heel and went to sit on the bed, waiting for Shiro to make some sort of move. 

Shiro took a long, deep breath, and Keith closed his eyes as he entered the room and locked the door. 

“Keith.” 

Keith quivered.

“Are you alright?” 

Keith scoffed wetly, and then he shrugged.

“Is what Matt told me true?” 

Keith couldn’t help the despairing noise that left his lips, and he couldn’t deny it, so he nodded slowly. 

Shiro’s anger rose to a boiling point, and still he hadn’t so much as stomped a boot, raised his voice, anything. It confused Keith, it made him wonder what exactly was going through Shiro’s head, because emotion could only tell him so much. Keith looked up at him through his lashes and bangs, a thin shield against his scrutiny. 

Shiro was panting, staring down at him with tears in his eyes, brows pinched with his fury and his fear. 

“I could have _lost_ you.” Shiro rasped. 

Keith sniffled and wiped at his nose, nodding as he ducked his head. 

“Do you realize...how I would have felt if you-“ Shiro cut himself off and then barked a wet laugh, “I’d have nothing to try to survive for if you weren’t here.” 

“Don’t say that-“ 

“I’m going to fucking say it!” Shiro snapped, and Keith shrank in on himself. “Don’t you dare diminish your own importance to me. Don’t you fucking dare.” he continued coolly. If they weren’t arguing Keith would have thought he was impartial. His tone was so level and controlled. It was worse than if he had been yelling. 

“I’m sorry.” Keith whispered. 

“I should hope you would be.” Shiro rasped, “How would you feel if _I_ did something suicidal, Keith? Tell me right now, if I went and pulled the same shit what would you think?” 

Keith shook his head and buried his face in his hands. 

“Keith... _talk_ to me.” his voice broke as he begged, “Please, I want to help you.” 

“I don’t...I’m not _suicidal_.” 

“Then what the hell was that? Self-sacrifice?” 

“That’s _exactly_ what it was.” Keith raised his head, “I was thinking of _you_. I was thinking that you were too close to the planet, that you wouldn’t survive and I wasn’t going to let you die!” 

“What about the others?” Shiro wondered, “The team, the neighboring coalition planets in the system, were you thinking of _them_ too?” 

Keith stared him down for a moment before he wilted, because no, he couldn’t lie. He couldn’t fucking lie, goddamnit, “I just...I was just thinking of you.” he managed. 

“It’s not self-sacrifice then. It’s selfish.” Shiro said. 

Keith flinched, and that’s when he started to cry. A gasping sob that he hid behind his hands.

Shiro approached him and he shifted away, fighting it when Shiro grasped him by the shoulders and pulled him up. “Listen to me, Keith. God...I never should have let you go with the Blades.” 

“I went for _you_.” Keith refuted immediately, struggling in Shiro’s grip.

“You’re depressed, Keith. Don’t think I haven’t seen it.” Shiro said quietly. “Regris…his death didn’t help. You were _assaulted_. You were kidnapped and you were  _r-raped_ and you lost me _twice_ , and then you let me become your mate and we separated almost immediately. How the hell would you _not_ be depressed? How the hell did I not see this coming?” he asked the last part of himself. “I shouldn’t have let you be alone. You should never be alone, Keith.” 

Keith shook his head, “I’m not depressed.” he gasped, wiping furiously at his face. 

“Baby…” Shiro murmured, and then Keith stilled as he drew him into a hug. “It’s okay if you are. You have a _right_ to be. You’d have to be a special kind of strong _not_ to be after everything this universe has put you through.” 

Keith stared at Shiro’s cuirass, unable to speak, unable to think beyond the fact that Shiro was righteously pissed at him, and yet here he was, just holding him while Keith cried. And that just made him break down further. 

“It’s okay, Keith.” 

“I-I know I’m selfish. I’m _sorry_ Shiro.” 

“Keith-“

“I don’t _want_ to be selfish. I don’t w-want to be.” Keith sobbed, “Don’t _leave_ me.” 

“I won’t leave you, Keith.” Shiro pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’m sorry too, baby, you’re not selfish.” 

“You _said-“_

“I...I wasn’t referring to you, Keith. I was referring to what you almost _did_.” Shiro said. “There’s a difference.”

“But I _am!_ I’ve always been _so_ selfish!” Keith exclaimed, pulling away and holding up a hand when Shiro went to hold him again. “You...you gave a lot to get me into the Garrison and I threw that away without a second’s thought when you vanished. I barely even gave you a chance to get your bearings when you came back, I just...I just thrust everything _I_ was feeling onto you and I’m goddamn lucky you happened to feel the same.” Keith rasped, “And then you had to deal with me being Galra, everything that entails, a-and I know you love me but you never asked for _any_ of that. It was always about me, me, _me_ when you had your own shit to deal with. Your own trauma to grow through and I feel like we haven’t talked about that in forever because we’re too busy worrying about me, _again_.” 

Shiro stared at him in shock. 

“And then I-I...god I fucking _left_ you when all you wanted was for me to stay and I know I said it was for you, it _was_.” Keith choked out, “But it was more for me. God I am so _f-fucking_ selfish Shiro. I don’t know how you put up with me.” 

“Keith,” Shiro all but gasped, “Do you _really_ think that way about yourself?” 

Keith sniffed and exhaled a shaky sigh as he shrugged, giving an incredulous laugh. “See? Now it’s all about _me_ again. You...gotta start focusing on how _you_ feel. Shiro. You’re treating me like glass again, yell at me! Scream at me! You’re so... _so mad_ at me right now, I can feel it. So...so fucking sh-show it.” he cried. 

“Why would you want me to yell at you?” Shiro wondered softly. 

Keith shook his head. Stepping back as Shiro approached, took his face in his hands, and smiled through the tears in his eyes. “You want to know how I _put up with you?”_ he asked, and Keith whimpered, “You want to know why I don’t scream at you, even though I’m livid?” 

Keith exhaled a sob, and then he nodded, hesitantly. 

Shiro sighed, “Because I love you.” he murmured, swiping his thumbs under Keith’s eyes when he went still in shock, “I know you’ve heard it before, we say it all the time.” Shiro continued, “But I don’t think you know just _how much_ I love you. I love you just as much as you love me, you know. Maybe more.” 

Keith shook his head, “Not more.” he tried in a gentle attempt at humor. 

“You trying to make it into a competition, baby?” Shiro wondered, sniffing softly as he stroked Keith’s hair out of his face. 

Keith gave a sobbing laugh as he nodded. 

“That’s not a game either of us can win, sweetheart.” Shiro said. 

Keith gasped when he kissed him, chaste and gentle. 

“But we can _lose_ if you play that game again. The one where you don’t put your life above mine.” Shiro whispered. 

“You’d do the same for me.” Keith murmured. 

Shiro sighed, “Of course I would. That’s why I...why I’m so angry.” 

Keith wilted. 

“Stay with me.” Shiro said, pulling Keith in close with a hand on his hip, “Don’t go back to the Blades, not right now. Stay for me. _Please_.” he hugged Keith tightly, nuzzling over where he had placed his mark on Keith’s neck, “If I can’t stop you from playing that game then I can at least keep you from _needing_ to play it.” 

Keith hiccuped and clutched onto Shiro like a lifeline, “Wh-What about the quintessence?” he wondered, “What about your dystrophy?” 

Shiro shook his head, “Doesn’t matter, I have time, I have _years_. We have Lotor in custody.” he said, “Your well-being is a thousand times more important to me right now. Don’t ever think that me loving you despite everything we’ve been through _together_ is just you being selfish. You understand me?” 

Keith nodded, exhaling a shaky sigh as he sagged in Shiro’s grip. “You’re still mad.” he whispered. 

Shiro hummed, “Yeah. I am.” he said. 

“At me.” Keith added.

“At you. At _me_.” Shiro clarified, “We both messed up, Keith. You in thinking you could get away with that shit, and me in letting you leave.” he said, “I’m...I’m not a therapist. I’m not going to _try_ to be. Rhyner knows some people, I’ve been talking to her, so we’re going to get help. Together. You said we both have trauma, we’re going to fix it, but we’re not going to do it alone, alright?” 

Keith nodded, “Alright.” he whispered. 

“I love you.” Shiro held Keith tight as he said it, “And people in love do selfish things. I can’t stop you from being a self-sacrificial idiot for me, because you’re right. I’d do the exact same in the reverse situation. But you can bet your perfect ass I’m going to chew you out for it anyway, _because_ I love you, and you can chew me out too, if I ever do the same. I probably will.” 

Keith sobbed a laugh, “Okay.” he sniffled over his next laugh, “Perfect ass?” 

Shiro grasped tightly onto said ass and squeezed, “ _Mhm_.” he sighed. 

“Shiro.” Keith murmured, heaving a sigh of his own, gone pensive and serious, “Forgive me?” 

Shiro pulled back to look at him, searching his eyes, the anger he had been feeling for the past twenty minutes bled away into intense sadness, and Keith blinked tears back at the feeling. “I do. I hate that I even have to in the first place, but I do.” he said, “Don’t you dare make me have to do it again, or worse, don’t you dare make me have to-“ Shiro broke off to clear his throat, “If it weren’t for Lotor...god I have to thank _him_ for saving your ass, Keith.” he chuckled softly. 

“I almost forgot about Lotor.” Keith said absently. 

“Well you can keep him out of your head for now.” Shiro said, unclipping Keith’s armor. “Right now you’re going to stay here, with me, and I’m going to hold you like I’ve wanted to since the day you left for the Blades.” 

Keith’s breath hitched as Shiro pulled his suit away and placed a soft, chaste kiss over the mark on his neck, tracing his fingers reverently over it before he helped Keith step out of the Blade suit. Then he worked on his own armor, his own suit, and pulled Keith into bed, hugged him tight to his chest, and sighed into his hair as he stroked a hand down his back. 

Keith was astonished, chastised, and...and thankful. 

“I love you too, Shiro.” he whispered, and Shiro only pressed a kiss to his hair, a wave of relief all Keith could feel from him. 

* * *

“I’m certain it’s difficult for you to imagine my intentions being pure.” 

“Difficult? Try impossible.” Allura said, crossing her arms. 

Lotor smirked, “Well, I am actually glad to see that you are not so trusting as to believe me right off the bat. I wouldn’t want anyone gullible enough to do so as an ally.” 

“Who are you calling gullible?” Lance wondered.

Lotor raised a brow at him, “I believe I just said she is _not_ gullible.” 

“That’s true. He did.” Hunk pointed out. 

Lance huffed. 

“Regardless, there’s hardly any way you can expect us to trust you after the things you’ve done.” Allura said.

Lotor looked amused, “Oh? And what exactly have I done to make me _so very vile?”_ he wondered as he walked the length of his cell. 

Allura seemed stunned by his question, “You...you’re the son of Zarkon, you stole that comet out from underneath us, you toyed with us, with _me_ , at Thayserix-“ 

“Have I ever harmed any of you?” Lotor asked, bored with her accusations. 

Allura gaped at him, and then she scoffed, “Of _course_ you have! You’ve debilitated Voltron more than once-“ 

“And have any of you ever _perished_ in my...debilitation?” Lotor prodded.

Allura growled her response, “ _No_.” 

Lotor smiled at that, “Hurting you was never my intention, you were all simply pieces of a puzzle. A larger scheme, and I needed your participation in it.” 

“ _Participation_.” Pidge deadpanned.

“So we were pawns.” Shiro clarified. 

Lotor hummed, “Well, If you wish to be blunt. I am not trying to be so rude as to say so to my captors.” 

“Well it’s pretty rude either way.” Pidge said. 

Lotor chuckled, “I suppose it is.” 

“What is your goal?” Allura asked, “Why would you willingly give yourself up?”

Lotor sighed, “My _dear_ _father_ ,” he said in a biting tone, “The one you liken so much to me, the one I _apparently_ share blame with for his ten-thousand decaphoebe reign of terror, seems to have put a target on my back. Intent on killing me. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. In fact you are my only safe haven, the only place my father cannot track me. _Why_ would I intend to harm the only ones who can help me?” 

Allura scoffed.

“Why would Zarkon attack you, anyway?” Hunk wondered. 

“Seems my father feels threatened by the possibility of my rule.” Lotor explained, “Enough so that I must be eliminated.” 

“But...you’re his son.” Hunk said haltingly. 

Lotor seemed to grow saddened at that, but he hid it quickly, “Family is not all that important to some people. I _was_ the banished prince before I was hunted, after all.” 

“You never answered me.” Allura said, “What is your goal?” 

Lotor sat down, propping his chin upon his hands, “An alliance. You have what I need, protection, a way back in with the Empire, and I have what _you_ need...information. Did you know I have all the Empire’s strategies, weak points, base and defense codes, whatever you might need...all locked away up here?” he tapped a finger against his temple with a smirk. 

“And why should we trust anything you say? How do we know it’s not all a trap?” Allura prodded. “What makes you think we’d help you find a way back into the Empire?” 

Lotor shrugged, “You don’t have to trust me, you’re smart like that, but I am telling the truth. It’s as simple as that.” he said, “I have no reason to lead you astray, and as for your other question...imagine the Emperor of the Galra as your _ally_.” he said, smirking, “The ten-thousand decaphoebe war would be a thing of the past.” 

The silence that followed was enough of an indicator as to why that would be incentive enough. 

“I do not believe anything you have to say.” Allura murmured. 

“You wouldn’t.” Lotor said. 

“But...give us something, something small. A trial run.” 

Lotor smiled at that, “Very well.” 

* * *

Keith waited until everyone had left, until only Shiro was present, and then he stepped forward. 

“Lotor.” he greeted, and the Galran prince regarded him with curiosity, or maybe it was disdain, How was he to tell? “I understand we were enemies, but...I do have to thank you. If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be here.” he said.

Lotor studied him, and then he hummed, “You were trying to break the shield with your fighter, as I recall.” 

Keith flinched, glancing back at Shiro when his anxiety and mild anger flared again. 

“ _Yes_.” Keith gulped, “Thank you for saving my life.” 

Lotor raised a brow, “You were foolish to believe a mere fighter would have destroyed the shield. Do not be so flippant with your own life, it’s wasteful.” 

Keith sighed, “I am aware.” he mumbled. 

“You are the half-breed, aren’t you?” Lotor wondered. 

Keith bristled at that, and Shiro was irritated by the question, coming up close to place a comforting hand on the small of his back. An act Lotor observed with smug interest. 

“How did _you_ know that?” Keith asked. 

Lotor smiled, “Don’t think I look down upon you, that’s a title we share, Black Paladin.” he sat down with a sigh, “I read the report from when you were used as a hostage. Of course we didn’t know you were a _Paladin_ until your friends showed up, guns blazing.” 

Keith’s breath quickened at the reminder. 

“That is another experience we share.” 

Keith looked up at him with wide eyes, and Shiro scowled. 

“Hardly worth reminding him of.” he muttered. 

“You...you’re an omega _too?”_ Keith asked, taking another step toward the cell. 

Lotor hummed, crossing his legs, “You wouldn’t think it, would you?” 

Keith took a deep breath, frowning when he found that Lotor’s scent was absent. 

Lotor pointed at the cell walls, “Blocked off, I’m afraid, and you would hardly scent me, anyway. Ten-thousand years of masking my scent, I’ve learned a few things.” 

Keith blinked, “You can mask your scent completely?” 

“Oh never completely, but you can learn to mask that _particular_ aspect of your scent that marks you as an omega. Helps with the epidemic we sometimes face.” Lotor explained, “Though surrounding oneself with alphas helps just as much.” 

Keith hummed, “I see.” 

Shiro stroked his hand up and down Keith’s back, “We should go now.” 

Keith nodded slowly, “Thank you, again.” he said to Lotor. 

“You should take care to be sure that I won’t need to save your life again.” Lotor said, “Tone down your recklessness and think things through _before_ you go through with them.” 

Keith gave another nod as he turned to follow Shiro. 

“Is it weird that I kind of like him?” he asked in a murmur to Shiro. 

Shiro turned to him in shock, “After all that preaching about taking him down?” 

Keith shrugged, “It’s different meeting him like this. Maybe it’s just his way of talking, but I feel like we can trust him.” he said as he glanced over his shoulder. Lotor was laying down on the cot of his cell, eyes shut and his head pillowed on his arms. Casual and not at all unnerved by his surroundings. He had strangely admirable decorum and suave. 

“I won’t trust him until there’s proof to back up his words...but you’ve never been a bad judge of character.” Shiro said as he draped an arm around Keith’s shoulders. “Maybe you’re right. I hope so.” 

Keith smiled and leaned into Shiro as they walked, “Me too.” 

* * *

“You seemed distracted today.” 

Keith blinked his weary eyes open and smiled at Shiro, “I have a headache.” 

Shiro cooed and rubbed a thumb over Keith’s temple, then scratched lightly at his scalp until Keith gave a moan of delight and shivered with goosebumps. “So...do you think it’s helping?” Shiro wondered.

“Still have a headache.” 

Shiro chuckled, “The _therapy_ , Keith.” 

Keith grunted as Shiro began kneading at the base of his skull, “K-Kinda. It’s hard to open up...to a stranger…” he mumbled, “But what they are saying makes sense. And I feel like...mmf.” 

Shiro chuckled and pressed a kiss to Keith’s lax, pouty lips, “Feel good, baby?” 

“Mm.” Keith hummed. 

“You feel like what?” 

Keith heaved a sigh, “Like maybe you were right.” he rasped, “And maybe I have been depressed. I just...never figured that would be _me_ , and it’s hard to accept that everything that’s happened got me so low.” he opened his eyes again, glancing up at Shiro, “But it did. And that scares me.” 

“It’s a scary thing.” Shiro said, saddened but relieved at the same time. “I remember when I had to come to terms with my own depression. I was...I was eight, maybe ten, I think.” 

“Jesus, Shiro.” Keith gasped.

“Well, when you’ve known you were slowly dying ever since you can remember-“

“I’m so sorry.” Keith leaned in to nuzzle against him, “God.” 

“I’m okay now, Keith.” 

“How could you be? All this shit going on?” Keith wondered, hand trailing down to clutch tightly to his prosthetic, “Having things stolen from you, your body, your memories.” 

“It’s still hard, but I’m okay.” Shiro said. 

Keith nodded haltingly.

“I’m proud of you for coming to terms with yourself, Keith. It’s hard to accept one’s mental state and learn to start recovering. It’s very hard, Keith.” Shiro hugged him tightly, “And I don’t think I ever stopped that journey. I don’t think that path ever truly ends, but it does get better. It gets _so much_ better and I have you to be my crutch through it all, just like you have me, okay?” 

“Okay, Shiro.” Keith whispered, “Thank you.” 

“Don’t need to thank me, sweetheart.” 

Keith hummed a laugh, “I’m going to anyway.” he said, and then he took a deep breath, sagging against Shiro as he continued to play with his hair, “You smell really good.” he mumbled, “Y’know I’ve always loved how you smell.” 

“Heh…” Shiro responded absently, “Likewise, you smell like caramel.” 

“You smell like rain.” Keith said, “And mint. You smell minty. Dunno if you always smelled like that, maybe it’s space.” 

Shiro hummed, “Could be, back on earth you always smelled like cinnamon.”

Keith chuckled, “That’s weird. Space scents.” 

“It is, a little.” Shiro sighed, “Your head feel any better?” 

“No. Think I need a nap.” Keith mumbled into Shiro’s neck. God he smelled so good. “And a blanket. Two blankets.” he added as he started to drift off. 

Shiro exuded amusement and pulled a blanket over Keith’s shoulders, “I have to go if I’m going to get another blanket.” 

“Nevermind, then.” Keith whispered. 

Shiro watched him slip off to sleep, and he smiled in quiet adoration, “So cute.” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

* * *

“Three blankets actually.” Keith muttered to himself as he arranged the sheets, “Three is a _lot_ better.” 

“What’d you say, baby?” Shiro wondered from the bathroom. 

“Just talking to myself.” Keith replied. 

“You don’t usually talk to yourself.” Shiro said as he hugged him from behind, and Keith smiled as he leaned back into him. Shiro nosed against his cheek, “You’re warm.” he murmured, placing the back of his flesh hand to Keith’s forehead, “You feeling alright?” 

Keith nodded, “Just tired.” he sighed, “Maybe...maybe I need to take a nap again.” 

Shiro hummed in disapproval, “You’ve been taking a lot of naps lately.” 

“Been really tired.” Keith smiled up at him. 

Shiro heaved a sigh and offered him a slightly worried smile of his own, “I’ll go get you some water, and you can take a nap, baby.” 

Keith watched him go, and then he went to go fetch some more blankets, because...well, you couldn’t have enough blankets, right? 

And if he stole a few from the guest rooms...they weren’t being used anyway. Why waste them? 

* * *

Keith stirred to the gentle graze of fingers against his cheek, and he offered Shiro a lazy smile as he wriggled in his cocoon of bedding. 

“Sleep well, Keith?” Shiro wondered, “It’s been a few hours.” 

Keith hummed and nuzzled into his pillow, “Yeah. I could go for more, if I wanted to.” he muttered. 

Shiro laughed softly, “I suppose you’re not feeling up for the meeting.” 

“ _What_ meeting?” Keith all but growled at that. 

Shiro just sighed and stood, “I thought as much. It’s alright, though, if you’re absent.” 

“Are _you_ going?” Keith asked, sitting up in alarm at that. 

“I kind of have to.” Shiro said. 

Keith got up from the bed and hugged him, “I don’t want you to.” 

Shiro hesitated once before he hugged Keith back, exhaling a laugh, “Is it normal for the honeymoon stage to last so long?” he wondered teasingly.

“Who says it has to end?” Keith grumbled. 

“You’re adorable. Unfortunately we _do_ need this alliance, sweetheart.” 

Keith growled. 

“I’ll be back in a couple hours. Sleep some more.” Shiro pressed a kiss to his temple, “I think you have a fever.” 

Keith huffed, But more sleep felt like a far better idea than arguing his very important point right now. He would have preferred Shiro stayed. But...yeah, _sleep_.

He climbed into bed with a sigh and he barely even registered falling asleep before he was waking again to a low ache in his belly. Mild nausea swept over him as he sat up, fabric abrasive against his skin, and he clawed lightly at his shirt. Breathless and feeling...feeling desperate. 

He needed…

He _needed_ and he didn’t really remember what. 

He stood to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, and then he gasped and braced himself with an arm against the wall as a wave of dizziness overtook him. It was familiar and warm and-

“Keith?” Shiro was there, keeping him from falling to the floor completely, and Keith blinked up at him once he had him in his arms, smiling.

Shiro smelled wonderful. 

“Hi.” 

Shiro exhaled a laugh, nervousness and fear wafting off of him, “ _H-hi_ Keith. Are you alright?”

Keith nodded, “Just tired.” he murmured, “And...I think I need a couple more pillows.” he gestured to the bed. 

Shiro stared at him, took a deep breath, and then he gasped, pupils strangely blown and all Keith could feel from him was sudden, fiery need, “You’re in heat.” he said under his breath. 

Keith considered that as he slowly sat up, his last two had been so violent and sudden, he forgot what it was like for them to creep up on him, not a raging fury of pain and confusion. “Oh...oh yeah.” he chuckled breathlessly. “I forgot.” 

Shiro exhaled shakily, and Keith gave another laugh when he suddenly nuzzled against his neck from behind, breathing in deep. That just inspired him to bare his neck further, giving a soft little trill of appreciation when Shiro licked over his scarred gland. 

“You’re really into it this time.” he mumbled absently, heat was a good name for it, he was so hot. He felt...he felt weak and his skin felt like it was on fire, but in a good way? Was that even possible? 

“I know what it _is_ , this time.” Shiro rumbled, and Keith gasped as he hoisted him up and sat him on the bed, pulling his shirt over his head before he leaned back in to kiss and lick at his neck. “I know what you _need_.” 

Keith whined and fell back into what he remembered was his nest when Shiro pushed, fingers gone to pull his underwear off. And he giggled in heady delight when Shiro tossed the clothing away and trailed his warm fingers down the inside of Keith’s thigh. 

“And what _do_ I need?” Keith wondered, biting his lip when Shiro kissed at his ankle where he had it propped on his shoulder. 

Shiro nipped playfully at his skin, “You need me to take care of you.” he said simply, punctuated with a sweet little kiss, and Keith’s chest swelled with warmth.

“You smell _really_ good, Takashi.” Keith sighed, hand outstretched and gesturing for him to come closer. When Shiro complied Keith pulled him in, nuzzling against his neck, breathing him in. Sharp, he smelled violently of peppermint and his usual, sweet scent, enough to make his eyes water, and to make his body clench around nothing. 

“Shiro...oh god I need you _right now_.” Keith gasped. “Shit.” 

Shiro nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” he panted, pushing his pants down his legs before he surged back into Keith’s embrace and climbed over him. Keith fisted and twined his fingers into Shiro’s hair, breath caught and held, waiting. Waiting for him. And Shiro didn’t delay, he pushed Keith’s legs up to his chest and Keith exhaled sharply in a long, relieved moan when the burning eased for just a moment, replaced by a new burn. A new need. 

Shiro bottomed out in a slow, agonizing slide that had Keith gasping his name, begging, on the verge of crying. 

“ _Shh_...I got you, Keith.” Shiro murmured, and he rolled his hips with a low growl, “I got you.”

“Shiro!” Keith gasped, tossing his head back, “I-Inside...you know, you know what I mean?”

Shiro reached down and pried a finger in alongside his cock, exhaling a breathless, delighted noise when Keith yelped and jolted beneath him when he found his second hole. “You open for me, baby?” Shiro wondered, and Keith did wonder if his voice was normally so low, his pupils so big, though that wasn’t important. What was important was Shiro getting his cock where Keith needed it and him doing that _right-fucking-now_. 

“Shiro please. _Please!”_ Keith whimpered, And when Shiro pulled out only to slide back inside, slipping into that second hole-

Keith shouted and bucked under him, his orgasm violent and sudden, just like the last time Shiro had done this for him. God it felt like a lifetime ago. 

“Oh my _god_.” 

“Keith-“

“Please just-god just _fuck me_ Shiro!” Keith couldn’t help but demand. The burning underneath his skin was so good and so terrible and Shiro was a cooling balm against the heat in his veins. He needed that. He needed it _so badly_. 

* * *

Shiro felt like a cloud had overtaken his senses. And like they were heightened at the same time. It...well if he was perfectly honest he was a little freaked out. _Again_. One might think last time had prepared him. 

Or maybe it wasn’t that he wasn’t _prepared_. It was that he felt different. _It_ felt different. In a good way, a _really_ good way. Maybe it was the fact that now they had a mating bond. 

God, he could hear every rustle of the sheets, the wet heave of Keith’s breath...it almost felt like he could hear his _heartbeat_. 

It was addicting. 

Shiro braced himself against the mattress and fucked down _hard_ into Keith, relished in the way his mate writhed and wailed and cried with pleasure. 

_Mine._

_All mine._

“Yeah...yeah I’m yours, Shiro.” Keith gasped, hiccuping and smiling when Shiro glanced at him in surprise. 

He’d said that out loud. 

He liked that Keith agreed so readily, though. He liked that a _lot_. 

He surged down to kiss Keith, pulling a sweet little moan from him just as he also pulled his hips into his lap, grinding deep and harsh to punch little gasping moans out of Keith with every thrust. It was hardly even a kiss anymore when Keith clenched tight around him and came again with a whimpering cry, jaw agape as he just gasped through it. And Shiro just kept going, going and going until Keith bit his lip and came once more in a wet sob that Shiro kissed him through.

“Gonna come.” Shiro panted against his lips, and Keith nodded, clutching desperately to him, nails scrabbling in his skin. 

“Please.” Keith whispered. 

Shiro gasped and moaned through his orgasm, rutting as much as he was able through it. God...Keith was suddenly so _tight_. It felt good, really good, but... 

Shiro kissed languidly at his lips, salty and wet from tears that Keith was now smiling through. 

“Shiro…” he murmured contentedly. 

Shiro shifted, and he...he couldn’t budge an inch. “You’re...you’re holding me _really_ tight.” he said in a confused whisper.

“Mm?” Keith wondered, blinking lazily up at him. 

“Just weird.” Shiro slowly lowered himself atop Keith, chin propped on his hands. “And new.” 

Keith huffed at his weight, “Dunno what you mean. It was like that last time.” 

Shiro stared up at him in wide-eyed confusion. “It _was?”_

Keith nodded, eyes closed and a soft smile on his lips, “Mm.” 

Shiro did not remember it like that, but...he had established there was something freaky compelling him last time. Just like now, he supposed, and Keith seemed to remember it that way, so…

Shiro sighed and waited. 

He waited for perhaps ten minutes, and then the strange pressure slowly released. Keith was asleep, passed out, and Shiro was glad for it. Because-

“What the _fuck?”_

Shiro sat back, his blood running cold as he stared down at...well his dick. That was _not_ normal. It was... _swollen_ at the base. Shiro gulped and went to touch it even as it shrank away to nothingness. 

And as he pressed curious fingers to his own skin he hissed at his sudden headache, hand gone to clutch at his hair instead, and then-

Shiro blinked and glanced up at Keith, sound asleep and sated for the time being. Something...something had grabbed his attention...he couldn’t remember what. All he knew was Keith was in heat and he needed to surround him in his scent. He needed to secure the room, keep his mate safe. Keep him pleased until his heat was over.

So that is what he would do.

* * *

Keith woke suddenly and with a soft gasp, arching his back, unable to help but mewl in pleasure. “Oh fuck... _Shiro_.” 

His mate had him on his belly, tongue delving into his wet hole, hands kneading pleasantly into his thighs and his ass while he hummed in quiet delight at the taste of Keith. 

Keith whimpered and rolled his hips into the mattress. What a way to wake up. 

“Morning, baby.” Shiro murmured huskily as he pressed a wet, delving kiss to Keith’s hole in parting, gone to shroud over him from behind and, with a little finessing, slid his cock into its warm, wet place. 

Keith choked on a cry and immediately spurt white onto the sheets, all the while Shiro began a firm pace, tongue, lips and teeth come out to tease over Keith’s skin. 

“ _God_ I love you!” Keith whined, burying his face in his pillow and rocking back into Shiro’s thrusts. 

Shiro growled in his ear, possessiveness and satisfaction, intense arousal was what he exuded, alongside his intoxicating scent. And it was all Keith could do to scrabble for some semblance of clarity aside from the need to fuck and fuck and _fuck_. Not that he had any problem with that. 

“Ah!” Keith gasped and moaned wantonly as Shiro pulled his hips up and thrust into him at a delightful angle that had him seizing up in another orgasm. Shiro was so good, he just _kept going_ without tiring and it was exhilarating, it felt so right. Pleas poured out from his lips and he didn’t even know what he was asking for, but Shiro somehow supplied it anyway. Keith yelped when he pressed him down into the mattress with a firm hand on the back of his neck, his hips still propped in the air and creating (what Shiro would describe as) a beautiful arch of his back. 

Forget the _last_ angle being good. Keith _wailed_ and Shiro growled at the sound, leaning forward to mouth and bite at his swollen mating gland, tongue tracing over the scar of his mark. 

“You smell so good baby.” Shiro rasped as he bit hard into Keith’s gland, not enough to break the skin. It still hurt but it also felt like heaven, Keith settled on an agonized moan to express how it felt, unable to speak a word. The haze of need was delicious and perfect and he didn’t want it to end. “S’weird but... _mm_...I can’t resist you.” 

Keith purred amidst his gasping moans. That admission made so much pride and pleasure well up in his chest. 

“Shiro...don’t want you to r-resist me.” he whined. 

Shiro kissed at his neck, up to the slight curve of his jaw, “Then I won’t.” he whispered. 

Keith’s breath hitched at the way Shiro’s hand curled gently around his neck, not at all a threat, just caressing him, fingertips brushing sweetly over his pulse and the swollen gland on the opposite side of his neck. The sharp roll of his hips slowed to an agonizing drag, so slow Keith whimpered with need as Shiro drew this out for him. Drew it out _long_ and almost torturous. 

“Shiro please.” Keith gasped, turning his head to try and reach Shiro’s lips, “ _Please_.” 

Shiro granted him a kiss, slow and deep, tongue sliding into his mouth to tease at Keith’s, make him moan and keen with pleasure. His free hand went to curl around Keith’s cock, and Keith cried out with his climax, sobbing into the kiss as Shiro followed him over the edge. It felt so good, he felt so full and it was so tight. 

Keith went slack against the mattress, panting heavily and giving little belated whimpers at the way Shiro move them onto their sides for comfort. 

Keith lifted his head when he sensed confusion and anxiety from his mate. “Shiro?” he whispered, voice husky with overuse. 

Shiro kissed at his shoulder, “You’re...kind of tight.” he said, unsure. 

“Yeah?” Keith wondered, “S’that bad?” 

“I...don’t know.” 

A few minutes later Shiro seemed a little more distressed for a moment, and then he went blank. Keith wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind to know why, or to question it, especially when Shiro began projecting contentment and pride again. Keith succumbed with a purr to his satisfaction at having pleased his mate. Maybe he’d remember to ask about the strange emotions Shiro kept emitting every time he roughly and thoroughly fucked Keith till he cried over the next day. 

Maybe he’d remember to think of anything aside from _mating_. 

* * *

Keith woke with a start, again, though this time not from Shiro eating him out, but rather from the fact that he was hungry. He was tired and he had a headache and he was filthy. He could smell it. 

This was familiar. He remembered this well, from the few normal heats he had experienced in his life. It was the metaphorical walk of shame. Keith sat up, glancing over at Shiro where he snored lightly into his pillow, and Keith leaned down to kiss at his pouty lips before he climbed over him with difficulty and limped into the bathroom. 

His hips bloomed with a deep ache from the very first step, and Keith gasped as he braced himself against the sink, the short walk having taken a toll on him. A bath sounded better than a shower right now. 

Keith turned the knobs over the tub and took a piss before he sank into the hot water, drawing his knees up to his chest and resting his chin upon them. Eyes fluttering closed, he sighed at the slow bleed of relief from the heat, his muscles relaxing ever so slowly. He soaked for a good ten minutes before he lazily washed, scrubbing a good layer of sweat and saliva and probably cum from his skin until it was clean and red. 

He jumped at the sudden wave of fear he felt, and then Shiro appeared in the doorway, frantic. 

“Keith?” 

“I’m right here.” Keith said with a smile as he squeezed some water from his hair. 

Shiro all but fell to the tub beside him, and Keith went still as he pulled him in close and nuzzled against his neck, taking a deep breath and licking over his gland. “You...you’re finished?” he murmured against Keith’s skin. 

“Apparently.” Keith shrugged. Shiro sat down with a grunt, breathing heavily and looking far more exhausted than he had behaved during Keith’s admittedly short heat. 

“That was barely two days.” he muttered to himself. 

“Yeah.” Keith said in a relieved sigh. He loved his heats when Shiro was there, of course. But god if it wasn’t draining. He was still so tired, only up and out of bed because of his hunger and his need to be clean. 

“Feels like I’m still supposed to be taking care of you.” Shiro rasped, rubbing a hand over his face and sagging against the side of the tub. “Like I’m not...not done yet or something.” 

“Nobody said you had to stop.” Keith chuckled softly and moved to plant a wet kiss on his cheek, one that made him smile. “Why don’t you hop in? Did you even take a break during…?” Keith asked as he cupped Shiro’s face and stroked his haphazard hair away from it. 

Shiro considered that, “I got food and water every now and then.” he said simply. 

Keith hummed, glancing down with a smirk, “A little excited there, aren’t you, big guy?” 

Shiro blinked and then he scoffed, “I...didn’t really notice.” 

“You come running in here then get all snuggly and you didn’t notice your _throbbing erection?”_ Keith giggled in disbelief.

Shiro winced and pulled away with a groan, “ _Gross_. Don’t call it that.” he said as he gestured to his cock, wilted a little, “See? It doesn’t like it.” 

Keith could only belt a laugh at that, all but falling back into the tub, but Shiro soon joined him with a fond shake of his head. Shrouding over him in the water, and Keith shrank back with a grin as his mate propped himself up just a hair’s breadth shy of his lips, free hand gone ‘round to pull Keith in by his waist. Keith exhaled a soft gasp, smiling into the kiss and wrapping arms and legs around Shiro, rolling his hips against him where he was still very much hard and wanting. 

Shiro didn’t exactly waste any time, and Keith whimpered at the thick slide of his cock. It was gentle, unlike during his heat, his hazy, dream-like heat. All he could remember for sure was that Shiro was a delightful beast during. 

Water sloshed over the lip of the tub, the small space echoing with the harsh and breathy noises of lovemaking. Shiro’s low moans and Keith’s whining and whimpering, murmurs of one another’s names until Keith seized up and Shiro fucked him through it, peppering kisses down his neck until he came as well. And then he slowly sat down in the water, Keith cradled in his lap, panting against his damp skin and smiling when their eyes met.

Keith’s stomach gurgled at some point, and his eyes went wide while Shiro laughed, stroking his hands up and down Keith’s lithe back and kissing his lips. “Hungry, baby?” 

Keith scoffed, “That’s not proof enough for you?” 

Shiro hummed and kissed him once more before he hoisted them both out of the tub. “Then let's get you something to eat.” 

* * *

Lotor pulled through. With _everything_. All of his information checked out so far, no hiccups or double-crossings to be seen, and Allura wasn’t exactly sure how to process the fact that maybe they were wrong about him. Her and Keith both. 

“I understand I can’t judge him by the fact that he’s Galra.” she was saying to Keith as they sat in the lounge, Keith working a whetstone over his blade and Allura mending a hole in her nightdress. “But I can’t go about trusting him, I still don’t feel he’s earned it yet.” she continued. 

Keith nodded, “Of course you can’t. I wouldn’t trust him either, whether his intentions are truly pure or not. I think he’d have to keep performing in our favor for a long time before I say he’s fully trustworthy. And that’s coming from the guy he saved.” he finished with a chuckle. 

“Of course. He’s an enigma to me, Keith.” Allura sighed, “I want to understand him as much as I want to be sure he’s not a threat.” she grew quiet, “Did you know he’s...he’s half Altean?” 

Keith glanced up at her in wide-eyes surprise, _“What?”_  

Allura smiled, “Don’t look so surprised, I told you Zarkon married Honerva.” 

“But you never said anything about them having a kid!” Keith scoffed. 

Allura shrugged, “Must have happened quietly. Before the quintessence poisoning.” 

Keith considered that, “Must have. He did say Honerva was sick, didn’t he?” 

“I wasn’t there, so I can't fill in the blanks. I only know what my father told me.” Allura said. 

Keith hummed, studying the edge on his blade. 

“Are your sessions on Olkarion going well?” 

Keith nodded, clearing his throat, “Yeah. I didn’t really know how much I needed to talk to somebody. I feel a lot better, it’s almost like I didn’t even know how far I’d gone down the rabbit hole until they started to pull me out.” he explained. 

Allura rested her sewing for the moment, “You look better...different.” she said, and then she smiled, “Almost...dare I say it, radiant.” 

Keith raised a brow at the word, _“Radiant?”_  

Allura gave a shrug as she studied him, “I don’t know how else to explain it. You just have this healthy glow about you, it’s nice to see. Makes me feel good knowing you’re happy.” 

Keith did smile at that, blushing a little, “That’s good then, I suppose.” 

“It is. I hope you stay that way.” Allura said sweetly. 

“Thanks. Likewise.” 

* * *

“Do you think I look radiant?” 

Shiro blinked over at Keith, exhaling a chuckle, “I...don’t even know how to respond to that, Keith.” 

Keith sighed, “Allura called me _radiant_ the other day.” he said, “It was weird but...nice.” 

“Well...you _are_ gorgeous, sweetheart.” Shiro purred, setting down his tablet and walking over to Keith, straddling him and making Keith laugh softly as he leaned in to kiss him. 

“So you _do_ think I’m radiant?” Keith asked with a grin. 

“Baby, I think you’re _breathtaking_.” Shiro murmured. 

Keith blushed and nudged Shiro playfully before he pulled him in for another delving kiss. 

“Not in the lounge, guys! We talked about this.” 

Keith and Shiro startled apart and then laughed as Lance and Hunk entered the lounge. 

“Shiro’s fault.” Keith pointed, “He sat on me.” 

_“Keith!”_

“Gross man!” 

“We didn’t need to know the specifics.” 

Keith giggled and hugged to Shiro when he tried to leave his lap in embarrassment, nuzzling against him and heaving a contented sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY I have been wanting to write this chapter for AGES 
> 
> A couple big events this chapter, one is Naxcella and the other...welllll I'll let you figure that out, it's an easy one ;) One I waited 129k fuckin words for. Geez! I started this story thinking “Oh 80k at the most, this’ll be a quick, short story.” 
> 
> Haha. Hah. Remind me never to under-guesstimate myself again.
> 
> Lotor is SO FUN to write, definitely gonna have more of him in the next chapter. He and Keith have a lot in common, after all...that’s gonna make some season 6 stuff a little more complicated :3 
> 
> I'm glad I got to explore Keith's fears and stuff through a different method cause the whole Blade trial didn't happen in this timeline. And the Naxcella shit. That was hard and yet cathartic to do.
> 
> Fun fact, the story's title: Unknown....I made that the title because I don't actually _have_ a title for the story. I just could not come up with one in time for posting and I _still_ haven't XD. Which means if I do eventually end up coming up with one I might change it, but how do you guys feel about the title? Do you feel it suits the story?
> 
> Anyone guess what exactly is up with Shiro yet? :3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting 145k words for this. _*bites nails nervously*_ No matter how much I kept adding it feels like I'm missing or forgetting something  
> >.<
> 
> (SPOILERS) If you finish this chapter this won't be spoilers anymore but here's a [sneak peak](https://d2pqhom6oey9wx.cloudfront.net/img_original/1190282295d7c8e7d1477b.png) I drew for next chapter. Only if you wanna spoil what happens in the chapter though lol. Otherwise no clicky! Wait till the end (I linked it again there)

Keith looked over his shoulder as he entered the elevator. He didn’t want to ask in the presence of anyone, much less Shiro. But the questions were weighing on his mind, and he wanted answers to his fixations of the past six months.

Lotor didn’t seem at all surprised to see him. Then again he never seemed surprised in the slightest before.

“Black Paladin.” Lotor sat up slowly and reclined with a casual smile.

“I’m not.” Keith said, “Not anymore.”

Lotor hummed, but he didn’t comment on that. Not interesting enough for him, perhaps.

Keith approached the cell and balled his hands into fists, “I have some questions for you.”

“ _Lovely_.” Lotor drawled sarcastically.

“I just need to know.” Keith said desperately, “When Shiro vanished almost a year ago he said he was on a Galra ship.”

Lotor tilted his head. “Shiro? You refer to your mate?”

Keith cleared his throat and nodded, “The current Black Paladin.” he corrected.

“I see. I wasn’t quite aware of your names.”

“Do you know what happened to him? Because he just...he _vanished_ from the battlefield and you _knew_ that I wasn’t the original Black Paladin. You targeted me when we fought.” Keith said.

Lotor stood and approached the force field that caged him in. “I suppose it’s logical that you would draw that conclusion.” he said, “But I was just as confused as you were, little kit.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Keith muttered.

“I had noticed that all of the lions had been frequently spotted or reported on...except for the Black Lion. And I simply drew you in to...check on the Lion...so to speak.”

“That’s one way of putting it.” Keith sighed. “But you were in charge for some time, weren’t you? Surely if he was on a Galran ship you would know about it?”

“I wasn’t interested in the prisoners. And if what happened to him had anything to do with the witch, I was not privy to it.” Lotor said.

“Why wouldn’t you be?” Keith wondered, “You were the _Emperor_ for a time.”

“Because the witch is deceitful and secretive. She tried to have spies keep tabs on me oftentimes. She is certainly not above hiding things from me.” Lotor explained, “I’m afraid I have no knowledge of how she kidnapped your mate, nor where she kept him until you found him.”

Keith stared up at him, searching desperately for a lie, and then he sighed, “You’re telling the truth.”

“I am afraid so.” Lotor said with an exaggerated sigh of his own.

“I...I had another question for you.” Keith began, sitting down cross-legged on the floor.

“By all means.” Lotor prodded as he went to sit down again.

“We’ve been tracing some shipments of special, pure quintessence. It’s like nothing the Blades have ever seen.” Keith said, glancing up from where he sat to gauge Lotor’s reaction.

“Is that so?”

“Well yeah. Anyway, we thought these supply routes had something to do with you.”

Lotor hummed and crossed his arms, kicking back with a considering look, “What gave you that impression?”

Keith mimicked him, whether subconsciously or not, “They only started popping up when _you_ came into the picture.”

“I’ve _been_ in the picture for ten thousand decaphoebes.” Lotor all but snapped, “I’m afraid you have my coincidental reveal confused with the witch’s work.”

Keith stared him down for a moment before he wilted.

“You seem disappointed.”

Keith shrugged, “I...hoped you would know something.”

Lotor was curious at that, but he didn’t prod, “I see.”

Keith sighed, drawing his knees up to his chest. “You said we share a title, and you also said we share an experience.” he said cautiously, “The same thing happened to you?”

Lotor was quiet for a time before he answered, “A long time ago.”

Keith nodded slowly, “It’s interesting to meet someone who knows what that was like.” he said, “I have a therapist, Shiro said I should talk to them, and they really do help. But they also said having someone to talk to who shares the same kind of trauma with you-“

“I do not wish to speak of it in detail, little kit.” Lotor sighed.

It mildly irritated him to be called _kit_. But Keith only frowned, “I didn’t mean for you to.” he murmured, “I just...I just meant to _talk_ _to_ you. Because it’s cathartic and I feel like...even though you’re a stranger, maybe I can be more open about what I’m feeling because you know what that’s like. You’re not feigning knowing what it’s like or _understanding_ to make me feel better. You’re like Shiro in that regard, but his experiences aren’t _exactly_ the same and he’s...admittedly biased. I kind of want to talk to someone who has no opinion of me.”

Lotor looked astonished.

“It’s stupid.” Keith muttered to himself, getting to his feet, “Sorry.”

He began walking away before he looked over his shoulder, “Thank you, for answering my questions.” he said. He was disheartened to have no _real_ answers to his questions, nor a way to finally get his hands on that quintessence. But there was no helping it if Lotor knew nothing.

Lotor watched him go thoughtfully. Not that Keith would know, as his back was turned.

* * *

 

Keith shifted and stirred, huffing at the way Shiro tightened his hold on him, giving a sleepy little grumble.

He couldn’t sleep.

It wasn’t for any particular reason. There was nothing at all weighing on his mind, there was nothing he ate, he wasn’t too hot or cold, he didn’t need to pee. He just couldn’t _sleep_ , so he pouted as Shiro snored lightly in his ear.

Usually it didn’t bother him, but now it made him jealous that his mate was sleeping like an absolute _baby_ while he was sitting there just waiting for sleep to come to him without any hope of achieving it.

Keith whined softly and wriggled, growled when Shiro tightened his hold again, nuzzling against him with an unintelligible mumble.

“ _Takashi_.” Keith sighed, forcibly sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He was _so_ tired, he just wanted to sleep.

“Baby?”

Keith stood and went to the bathroom, getting some water without care that it came from the tap. It was all from the same source anyway.

“Keith?”

Keith just ambled back to bed and flopped back into place next to his sleep-addled, confused mate.

“Just thirsty.” he mumbled.

Shiro smiled at that and settled, content with Keith back in bed and laying atop him.

Keith stroked his fingers over a scar in Shiro’s belly, taking comfort in the steady beat of his heart. He let his eyes slide closed.

...and gave a frustrated growl over thirty minutes later when he still couldn’t sleep.

“Shiro.”

His mate stirred but he didn’t wake, and Keith huffed as he sat up again and swung his leg over Shiro’s lap.

“ _Shiro_.”

Shiro slowly opened his eyes, blinked up at the ceiling, then down at Keith, startled hands gone to gently cup his hips.

“What’s up?” he wondered huskily.

“I can’t sleep.” Keith growled.

Shiro just stared up at him.

“Need something to _do_.” Keith continued as he placed a palm on Shiro’s belly and trailed it down pointedly. When he glanced up at Shiro through his lashes the man gave a sigh, eyes closing lazily as he went lax again.

“ _Shiro_.”

“Do what you want to me, baby. I’m too tired to do anything.” Shiro mumbled.

Keith snarled and planted his hands on either side of Shiro’s head, irritated and needy and _so_ tired.

“ _So am I._ ” he said through grit teeth.

Shiro sighed and rolled him over, sitting up and pulling Keith’s boxers off. “Why do you even put them on if we’re going to do this all the time?” he wondered as he pressed kisses up Keith’s legs until he reached the crest of his hip.

“We don’t do this all the time.” Keith snapped.

“I mean sex, not the waking up at night. Calm down sweetheart.”

_“Don’t tell me to calm down.”_

Shiro blinked down at him at his low growl, and then he leaned down over him, giving him a deep, delving kiss. “Easy tiger.” he whispered against his lips, “Roll over.”

Keith obliged with a huff that turned into a soft moan when Shiro pressed his hands into his shoulders and rubbed deeply. He almost immediately went slack beneath him, giving muted little grunts and soft gasps as Shiro worked over the muscles of his back.

“Tense little kitten.” Shiro muttered to himself.

“Kit’n?” Keith mumbled.

“Matt’s endearing little nickname for you.” Shiro said in amusement.

“ _Mmf_.”

“Still need me to fuck you?”

Keith made a completely indecipherable noise and Shiro laughed as he pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Maybe I’ll just keep going until you fall asleep.”

Keith didn’t protest that, he didn’t have any plausible _reason_ to. He just groaned as Shiro dug his knuckles into a knot under his shoulder.

“Sorry y’have to do this.” he mumbled.

“Sleepless nights are totally relatable, sweetheart. Maybe you can just return the favor sometime.” Shiro said, making his way down to Keith’s lower back where it felt particularly good.

Keith was fairly sure he was drooling onto the pillow, mostly because he had lost all motor functions, and Shiro’s next words were muffled as he finally, thankfully fell asleep.

* * *

 

“You were grumpy last night.” Shiro said over breakfast, and Keith only grunted as he leaned against his hand, pushing his food around on his plate.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“I could see that.” Shiro said as he kissed Keith’s cheek, “Poor baby.”

“ _Stahp_.” Keith drawled as he pushed Shiro away sleepily, “M’trying to eat.”

“Keith, you’ve been pushing your food goo around for the past ten minutes.” Shiro pointed out.

Keith looked down at his food, heaving a sigh, “I only slept _three hours_ last night, Shiro.”

“Then go back to _sleep_ , sweetheart.” Shiro said, using his own spoon to get a bite of Keith’s food and tap the end of the spoon against Keith’s lips until he took it with a soft chuckle.

“Thanks.” Keith said through a mouthful.

“Seriously, Keith. Finish your food, and then go to sleep, yeah?”

“Ughh.” Keith sighed, taking another bite, “Only agreeing ‘cause I’m fuckin’ exhausted.”

Shiro tutted and hugged him from the side, “Stubborn kitten.”

Keith flushed deeply, hunching his shoulders, “ _Shiro…_ ”

“Y’like that?” Shiro wondered huskily, a slow burn of arousal feeding through that made Keith cover his face. “Maybe I’ll use it later.”

“ _God_ , Shiro.” Keith whispered.

“We all have our kinks, sweetheart.”

Keith turned a sly smirk his way, “Like your foot fetish?” 

Shiro scoffed, “I don’t have a foot fetish.”

“Then stop kissing my feet every time you take my pants off, big guy.” Keith giggled as Shiro took his turn to blush.

“They’re _right there_ and they’re cute.” Shiro muttered.

“That’s the whole point of the fetish.”

“A fetish-you...no I’d be like... _using_ them for things.”

“You don’t have to go to that extreme to have a fetish.”

“You guys know we can hear you, right?”

Keith flipped the bird without even looking at Lance.

“I don’t mind, you know. Maybe you can show me just how cute you think they are back in our room.” Keith grinned as Shiro stammered a response. He hooked his fingers in Shiro’s vest and slipped off his chair, leading him out of the kitchen.

“Gross!”

“ _Keith…_ ” Shiro chuckled.

“Seriously. I’ll sleep better if you fuck me.”

Shiro grabbed at Keith and spun him around, pulling him in with a playful growl and hoisting him up into a kiss. Passionate and wet, Keith moaned into it, hopping up to wrap his legs around Shiro’s waist, chuckling at the way he dipped forward with his weight and began walking again to steady himself.

“Mm-Don’t bump into anything, big guy.” Keith whispered.

“Not even your butt?” Shiro snorted.

Keith tossed his head back in laughter, fingers threading through Shiro’s hair as he kissed his way down the column of his neck.

“That was so stupid it’s not even funny.”

“But you laughed.” Shiro pointed out.

“Because it was stupid!” Keith giggled, leaning in to nuzzle against Shiro’s jaw and his neck as the man carried him into their bedroom.

“That’s an oxymoron.”

“Don’t get technical with me.” Keith grumbled, “I’m tired and horny and I want you to fuck me, _pretty please.”_

“Well if you ask nicely like that…” Shiro laid Keith down on the bed and worked on his pants. “Needy little kitten.” he murmured, Keith blushed and smiled.

Shiro kissed him again, softly, sweetly, even as his tongue pushed past Keith’s lips to mingle with his, even as Keith moaned and rutted his hips against Shiro’s belly. “Impatient.” Shiro muttered as he pulled back, and Keith whined, pushing his pants down his legs.

Shiro helped him pull them off, and then he grabbed Keith’s ankle, smirking as he made eye contact, and Keith laughed when he pressed a kiss to the top of his foot.

“Shiro-“

“You asked for this.” Shiro said.

Keith covered his face as Shiro kissed his way down the arch of his foot, and then he gasped when Shiro had the audacity to lick at his ankle.

_“Shiro!”_

“What?” Shiro laughed.

Keith groaned and rolled his hips, embarrassed as all hell that he was hard against his belly just from this. Maybe it was the worshipfulness, he refused to acknowledge that maybe he was a little into the kink too.

“Want some help with that, baby?” Shiro wondered as he switched to Keith’s opposite foot.

“You know I do.”

Shiro nipped at the soft flesh of his calf, trailing messy kisses up the length of Keith’s leg. Keith yelped and then moaned wantonly when he paused to suck a bruise into place on his inner thigh. Playful fingers spread his legs even as Shiro kept working on perfecting that bruise, brushing over Keith’s cock and down his taint.

“So wet for me.” Shiro murmured to himself as he went in to lick over Keith’s hole.

Keith gasped and shuddered, hands gone to grip tightly to Shiro’s hair and hold him close while he leisurely ate him out like he was his last meal. Keith bit back a moan, barely able to breathe, tense and whimpering.

“Relax, baby.” Shiro paused to say, rubbing a hand over his thigh, “I got you.”

Keith exhaled a breath he hardly realized he was holding, tossing his head back and crying out, _“Fuck!_ Fuck, Shiro!”

Shiro replaced his tongue with his fingers, “That’s it. You taste so good, sweetheart.”

Keith chuckled breathlessly, “ _Ah_...ah-I wouldn’t know.”

Shiro made a noise, pulling his fingers free after licking over Keith with a delighted moan, and Keith gasped when his wet fingertips brushed over his lips.

“Shiro-“

“Would you like to?” Shiro wondered, kissing at his perineum, up the side of his cock, taking him in his mouth with a hum.

Keith took a shaky breath at the way pleasure zipped down his spine, and then he parted his lips, licking at Shiro’s fingers and then letting him gag him on them. It was sweet, somewhat musky, like smoky sugar.

Shiro moaned around him, pleased to see Keith enjoy the taste of his own slick. And _Keith_ was pleased to see him rut his hips against the mattress. And his fingers left Keith’s mouth to clutch tight to Keith’s thighs, pulling off of his cock with a gasp and a wet noise as he went back tonguing and sucking at Keith’s asshole.

It was all Keith could do but to chant his name in little gasping, punched-out moans.

Shiro all but growled, fingers sure to leave bruises in Keith’s skin while his tongue and lips did absolutely sinful things. Things that had his cock weeping where it rested against his belly. Keith’s belly tightened with a molten coil of pleasure, his breath leaving him in whines as Shiro reached up to knead over his clothed pectoral, pinch a nipple between his fingers. And Keith gave a wail when Shiro made him spill all over his shirt. Shiro slowly came to a stop when Keith whimpered in overstimulation, and Keith pulled him in for a kiss as soon as he crawled over him. Tasting himself once more on his tongue only sparked his arousal again, which was a good thing, as Shiro pulled his hips into his lap and pressed the head of his cock against Keith where he was still wet and needy.

It was lazy, the way Shiro pushed inside him and rocked his hips, just fast enough to keep Keith’s pleasure rising and slow enough that he was murmuring pleas for harder and faster. Not that Shiro obliged, he only curled down over Keith and kissed at his parted lips, taking advantage of Keith’s delirious pleasure to lick into his mouth and groan in delight.

Keith scrambled for purchase in Shiro’s shirt, holding him tight and gasping when he began to slam his hips into Keith’s. Not having gone faster, just harder... _much_ harder. “Hah... _ah!_ Shiro!” Keith cried out, undulating under him, eyes fluttering closed at the way his next orgasm simmered under the surface of his skin, molten hot and desperate to come forth.

“Please...please Shiro I’m so close.” Keith whimpered.

Shiro traced his hand over Keith’s chest, fingers pinching a nipple again and pulling a whine from Keith on his way down to curl around his cock and jerk him off just as lazily as his thrusts. Keith closed his eyes tight and rolled his hips as he came again, biting his lip against the force of his cry. Shiro went a little harder at that, and then stilled with a breathy moan as he pulsed inside of Keith.

Keith chuckled as he came down from his high, limp against the sheets as Shiro pulled out and kissed over his face.

“Better?”

Keith nodded, exhaustion rolling over him.

“Love you, kitten.”

Keith smiled and sighed, blinking his weary eyes open and reaching for Shiro when he went to leave. Shiro laughed when Keith pulled him close, nuzzling against his neck and licking over it in search of Shiro’s delectable scent. Not so potent now that he wasn’t in heat. “Stay?” he wondered.

Shiro smiled, “For a little bit. We have an escort in an hour.” he said, and Keith nodded and he curled into Shiro when he lay down. Sleep came easily, thankfully.

* * *

 

“Why did you make ships from the comet, anyway?” Keith wondered, glancing up from where he sat.

Lotor only smirked, his lips sealed.

Keith sighed and shifted, “Are you gonna answer me?”

“I have no reason to.”

“You did before.”

“Because I wanted to.” Lotor turned that sly smile his way, “I do not wish to answer these questions.”

Keith growled under his breath, “ _You’re_ the one in a cell. Dunno why you feel like you have the upper hand.”

Lotor shrugged, “Because you need me, and because I do not wish to answer. Aside from interrogating me with more violent means, you will not receive one.” he returned to laying on his back and staring at the ceiling.

Keith huffed, “Isn’t that boring?”

“Perhaps.” Lotor said lazily.

“I’d go insane staring at the ceiling all day.” Keith muttered.

“That’s because you are an aggressive personality. I am a patient man. I get what I am after through waiting, I always have.”

“I can be patient when I need to. You don’t know me. _Anybody_ would go insane staring at the ceiling for days.” Keith snapped defensively, and then he grew cautiously curious, “What...what _are_ you after?”

Lotor smiled and turned to look at him, “That’s a simple one. My throne.”

Keith scowled and stood with a grunt, “I see.” he mumbled.

“Oh you’re leaving? I could use all the mental stimulation I can get in here, after all.” Lotor teased.

“And yet you refuse to answer my questions.” Keith said.

“Only because you are not asking the right questions.”

“Well what are the _right_ questions?” Keith sighed.

Lotor only gestured for him to ask.

Keith stared at him for a moment, thinking, and then he hummed, “You...you’ve lived a long time.” he began, “Ten-thousand years.”

“A year is your term for a decaphoebe, I imagine.” Lotor clarified.

“Yeah.” Keith cleared his throat, “What’s that like? Galra don’t normally live that long, is it because you’re Altean?”

Lotor blinked, “It’s exhausting...and no, it isn’t because I’m Altean. It’s because the Galra thrive on the harvesting and consumption of quintessence. They didn't used to, before the war.”

"Quintessence...makes you live longer?" Keith wondered quietly.

"Precisely." Lotor nodded.

Keith scuffed the toe of his boot against the floor, “Galra normally live to be a few hundred years.” he said quietly, “Which means I’ll outlive everyone I know, aside from Allura and Coran.” he said, “Then again, maybe them too, I don’t know Altean lifespans.”

Lotor hummed, “Not likely.”

Keith gulped, “I’ll outlive my mate.” he whispered, and Lotor was silent for a time.

“I can sympathize with that.” he eventually said.

Keith glanced up at him in surprise, “You can?”

Lotor didn’t respond, looking rather somber despite his usual suave apathy. 

“How do you cope with it? I can hardly handle _knowing_ that.” Keith asked.

Lotor seemed to consider that, and he didn’t answer for a time, again. Long enough that Keith grew disheartened.

“I don’t believe you cope, you just...grow used to it.” Lotor said.

Keith flinched at the idea, and then he turned on his heel, “I see.”

“Leaving again?”

Keith only began to walk, “That’s enough questions for today.” he said in a rasp.

* * *

 

“Quite the cuddlebug recently.” Shiro commented, and Keith just shrugged as he hugged him tighter.

“I like being next to you.” Keith whispered.

Shiro was quiet for a moment, and then he stroked his fingers through Keith’s hair, humming in consideration, “That sounded like a sad Keith to me. Why are you sad, sweetheart?”

Keith made a noise, lifting his head, “Everyone always talks about how romantic knowing your partner is. It’s more frustrating that you can see right through me.”

Shiro chuckled, “Welcome to _my_ world.”

Keith sighed and nuzzled into him, gone lax as his vision started to blur with tears, and he sniffed softly against Shiro’s shirt.

“ _Baby…_ ” Shiro all but gasped, “Hey…”

Keith shook his head. “I’m not upset.” he managed, “I promise, I’m just...I just feel like crying.” he sniffed again and wiped at his face, “Is that okay?”

Shiro softened, “Yeah. That’s perfectly okay, Keith.” he said as he smiled and wiped Keith’s tears away, “I feel like that sometimes too.”

Keith nodded and laughed through it, “ _Ugh_.” he sighed, burying his face in Shiro’s chest again. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Shiro kissed the top of his head. “It’s always alright.”

Keith stroked his hand over Shiro’s chest. He had more than one reason to chase that quintessence now. He figured.

* * *

 

“So does it help, then?”

Keith startled from where he was bent over his tablet.

“Does what help?” he prodded.

Lotor smiled in amusement, “Talking to me.”

Keith scoffed, “Haven’t done much talking.” he muttered to himself.

“Indeed, what are you doing down here, anyway?” Lotor wondered.

Keith shrugged, “It’s quiet and nobody seems eager to be around you. I’m providing mental stimulation and also getting some alone time.”

“Not much mental stimulation to watch you stare at that.” Lotor mumbled.

“Not much else I can do. I’ve asked all the questions I’m interested in asking.” Keith retorted.

“And I’ve answered all the questions I’m interested in answering.” Lotor snarked back. "Seems we're at an impasse." 

Keith chuckled, “You really are just a sassy prince.”

“It’s one of my many charms.” Lotor sighed.

At that Keith laughed louder, _“Charms?!”_

“Indeed.”

Keith set his tablet down and crossed his arms, “What else do you have in your arsenal, then?”

“Another question!” Lotor gasped, “I thought you had run out?”

Keith smirked, “You created a new one.”

“ _Delightful_.” Lotor bemoaned.

“Come on now, I’m giving you a chance to boast about yourself.” Keith prodded.

Lotor raised a brow at him, “So you think I’m vain?”

“I think you’re _very_ vain.” Keith nodded solemnly.

“How rude.” Lotor could only sigh.

“It’s the luxurious hair, gives you away.” Keith added.

“And what of your mate? He’s got quite the mane going on himself.”

“He didn’t choose to grow it, he just kept it.” Keith explained with a dismissive wave of his hand, “This isn’t about him. Don’t change the subject”

“Evidently not.” Lotor sat back, “I don’t really like to brag about myself.”

 _“No?”_ Keith snorted.

“Not really. I _will_ , but I don’t aim to.”

“Sure.” Keith drawled.

“Your sarcasm is annoying.” Lotor said.

“Your _face_ is annoying.” Keith shot back.

Lotor looked taken aback, “You’re very childish.”

“So condescending is another one of those charms.” Keith nodded, returning to his tablet, “Gotcha.”

Lotor huffed and Keith grinned at having gotten him at another impasse. If he was honest the banter was fun, and he was enjoying toying around - if not bonding - with the Galran prince.

* * *

 

It was obvious what their course of action would be, even at great cost to themselves. And it wasn’t right either way.

“But we _can't_ just turn him over like that.” Keith interjected.

“My father intends to kill me, and I can assure you that whatever he has bargained he will do everything in his power not to follow through.” Lotor insisted, “I am far more help here. A rescue attempt would be more fruitful in retrieving the human if you are truly so desperate for him.”

“Desperate? He’s my _father!”_ Pidge exclaimed.

Lotor just leveled her with a cool gaze, “Forgive me if I find familial relations less than motivating when it comes to life and death.”

“Son of a-“

“ _Katie_.” Shiro interrupted, placing a hand on her shoulder while he heaved a sigh. “I want Sam back as much as you, but Lotor and Keith have valid points. We don’t have any guarantee that Zarkon will follow through with his word. We can’t be irrational about this decision just because we’re emotional.”

“There’s only one way this is going to end and you know it.” Pidge murmured coolly, and Shiro scowled.

“He’s our dad, Shiro.” Matt pleaded.

“We know.” Allura said, “And I agree, we need to save him, but...Lotor has been a great help to us.”

“You’re taking _his_ side?” Pidge asked hysterically.

“There are no _sides_.” Keith said. “It’s _murder_ to send Lotor back.”

Pidge scowled, crossing her arms, “How do we know that? For all we know it was all just a big trick. And now he’s going home to daddy.”

“Then wouldn’t he _let_ _it_ happen?” Keith prodded, exasperated.

“Not necessarily, he’d have to make it believable.” Hunk pointed out.

“ _Thank you_ , Hunk.” Keith grumbled over his shoulder.

“I am _not_ giving up my father for him!” Pidge snapped.

“Nobody said we’re giving up on Sam.” Allura said.

“Zarkon is going to kill my dad if we don’t give Lotor over!”

“That’s _enough!”_

Everyone turned to Shiro, watched him stare Lotor down, ignoring them, his jaw working intensely.

Keith blinked when he glanced his way, gaze softening for a moment, then down at Pidge and Matt, before he spoke.

“We’re making the trade.”

“But _Shiro-“_

Shiro looked at him, gaze severe, determination and finality flowing through the bond, brokering no argument, and Keith scowled, crossing his arms and stalking out of the room.

“Keith.”

“I thought _you_ of all people wouldn’t-“

Keith jumped when Shiro grabbed him, “You’re right, I _wouldn’t_. Keith.” he insisted.

Keith pursed his lips in confusion, “But you just _did!”_

Shiro shook his head, “I have a plan. Please, Keith.” Shiro implored, stroking the backs of his knuckles against Keith’s cheek, planting a kiss to his forehead, “Trust me?”

Keith blinked up at him, “I...okay. I do trust you, Shiro.”

Shiro smiled, “Good.”

“Why not tell me?” Keith wondered. “I can help.”

Shiro considered it before he sighed, “It would be better if you all were genuinely unaware, not too confident, I just need you to be ready. Bring your bayard.”

Keith tried to come up with a refute, but there wasn’t really anything to say. Shiro was usually so forthcoming, but if he felt it was better that only he knew what to do when the time came, then Keith would trust that.

“Alright.” Keith murmured.

Shiro pressed a kiss to his forehead, “Don’t worry, baby.”

“Don’t be so ominous and I won’t worry.” Keith said with a slight smile.

Shiro hugged him. “I’ll try my best.”

* * *

 

“Nice to know the oh-so-noble Paladins of Voltron are willing to use _people_ as bargaining chips.”

“Oh please. Don’t pretend you’re above it yourself.” Pidge snapped.

“ _Katie_.” Shiro sternly warned, and she huffed at him, “You’re getting what you want, don’t be difficult.”

“Oh _I’m_ the one being difficult?” she mumbled to herself, “He’s been snarking the whole trip.”

Keith tutted and propped his legs up on the opposite wall of the shuttle, “You’ve never been a prisoner before.” he said, and Pidge looked at him with wide, startled eyes, “We talk a lot of shit, but it’s mostly because we’re scared. I’m sure you would be too if you were literally walking to your death.” he added bitingly, and Pidge finally looked cowed, even if just a little.

Matt sighed and let her lean into him, glancing at Keith with an unreadable expression.

Keith wouldn’t apologize for making them feel bad. For making any one of them feel bad for what they were doing. He glanced up at Shiro with furrowed brows, and Shiro placed a gentle hand on his knee, smiling in assurance. He seemed confident in his plan, but Keith still had doubts.

He looked to Lotor, saw his pensive expression. He looked harrowed and mildly defeated, and it shocked Keith to be able to see through him. He was right about the fear, mild as it might be, Lotor was genuinely afraid of his father, unable to completely mask the sour scent in the air.

Lotor glanced up at him and caught him looking. Keith didn’t shy away, showing sympathy through scent and expression, and Lotor gave a pointed inhale, something Keith couldn’t quite decipher flickering across his face before his eyes widened and his lips parted to speak.

The shuttle landed and Keith hardly had a mind to remember and store the moment away for later.

“It’s time.” Shiro stood and offered Lotor a hand to get to his feet, and Lotor took it all the while looking over his shoulder at Keith, almost worriedly.

Keith’s hand twitched at his hip at the sight of the Galran ship meters away, eager to summon his bayard, but unsure of whether he might need it.

“I don’t like this.” he murmured to Shiro.

“I know, baby.” Shiro offered him a nervous smile, “Trust me.”

Lotor sighed, “Let’s get this over with.” he prompted.

* * *

 

“You knew I’d tell you that was a bad idea.”

Keith tapped his fingers against his arm, raising a brow, not angry with Shiro, but he did want to make him feel bad for keeping his plan from him. Just a little, he was _just_ petty enough to. 

Shiro was sheepish, but he only shrugged, “It worked, didn't it? Zarkon is dead, Lotor is on our side for certain because of a little trust, _and_ we saved Sam.”

Keith sighed, “I’m not saying it wasn’t worth it. I just...wish you’d told me, is all.”

“I’m sorry.”

Keith approached him with a hum, sliding into his lap and hugging him, “It’s okay.”

Shiro rubbed at his forehead, and Keith pulled back to look at him curiously. “You alright?”

Shiro nodded, brows furrowed, “I just...I have a really bad headache.”

Keith cooed in sympathy and pressed a kiss to his temple, stroking his fingers through his hair soothingly. “Maybe some rest? The day was rather exciting. And we got thrown around in a shuttle, You probably hit your head.”

Shiro agreed and smiled up at Keith, taking his hand and holding it to his heart. “I know I should have been honest, but thank you for trusting me, Keith.”

Keith smiled, “I’ll always trust you, Shiro.” he said, punctuated with a sweet little kiss.

A single knock at the door had both of them looking, and then composing themselves at the sight of Lotor.

“Forgive my intrusion, Paladins.” he said.

Shiro stepped forward, “Hardly intruding, it’s the public lounge.”

Lotor hummed and glanced around, “So I see. I had something to discuss with you.” he looked at Keith, “The both of you.”

Keith shuffled in place and crossed his arms, “I suspected you might.”

Lotor’s lips quirked in an amused smile, “Yes, well, I figure you’re not aware, but I did notice-“

They all jumped at the sudden blare of the castle-wide comms.

“Keith, we’ve just received a transmission from Kolivan.”

Keith held up his hand for Lotor and exhaled a chuckle, “I’ll be there in a moment, Coran.”

“I fear it’s urgent, Keith. He says it’s about your mother.”

Keith stared at the wall in shock, and then he was running to the bridge, cold and anxious and scared.

He skid to a stop beside Coran, looking up at the viewscreen desperately. “Kolivan, my mother? Is she-“

“She’s alive, calm yourself, kit.” Kolivan said with a sigh, “But she’s in need of assistance.”

Keith panted, “What...what kind of assistance?”

“She’s escaped from General Ranveig’s base where she was stationed. The chaos of Lord Zarkon’s death forced her to flee during the fight, apparently with useful information. As it is, she’s running low on fuel and she’s sent out a distress signal, she needs to be picked up. You could get to her faster with wormholes.”

Keith nodded, “Right. Okay, we’re just picking her up? She’s not injured?”

“Not that she said.”

Keith turned on his heel and ran into Shiro.

“Calm down, Keith. Hey?” Shiro steadied him, “I didn’t hear all of it, but it sounds like we don’t need to be frantic, alright?”

Keith exhaled shakily and nodded, “Okay... _okay_.” he took a deep, steadying breath.

“Now, let’s get some supplies on hand, prepare a shuttle to go retrieve her, yeah?” Shiro looked to Coran, and then he looked up at the viewscreen, “Give her coordinates to Coran.”

Kolivan nodded.

“Come on, Keith.” Shiro led him gently, “It’s exciting, remember? You get to meet her.”

Keith frowned at that.

Yes, he would get to meet her. Meet her and ask.

Why did she leave? Why did she stay away?

_‘Did she love me? My father?’_

Keith gulped over the lump in his throat, any excitement he might feel turned to stone in his stomach.

* * *

 

They came out of the wormhole to a fairly empty quadrant of space, and Keith was aware of the way his fingers shook on the steering of the shuttle, but Shiro was there with a steadying hand at his back.

Earlier he’d gone to grab his Paladin armor, but then he froze, instead pulling his Blade suit on. It felt more meaningful, more like he was declaring who he was instead of who he used to be. Shiro had smiled when he saw him, so there was that too, he approved.

(Maybe for more reason than one)

She was in a small Galran fighter, floating in the distance, when Shiro hailed her.

“This is the Black Paladin speaking, the Blades received your distress signal and we’ve been sent to retrieve you.”

Keith’s breath hitched at her reply.

“Good to see you, Paladin, I’m sure Kolivan briefed you on my situation.”

Shiro squeezed his shoulder, “You should put your helmet on, if you’ve got one.” he said, “We’re coming about to receive you.”

“I’ll need a moment.” She said, “Thank you for coming all this way. I’d have had to wait a few days otherwise.”

Shiro smiled, ending the hail.

“She sounds like you.”

Keith quivered and gave a disbelieving laugh. “She...she does?”

“Well, not precisely, she talks like you do.” Shiro said.

Keith stared at the Galran fighter, “That’s my mom.” he whispered, “My _mom_ is in there.”

“Yeah.”

“ _Shiro_ …” he choked the name, “Shiro I’m not ready for this.” he buried his face in his hands.

“It’s okay, Keith.”

“Do you think she knows who I am?” Keith turned to him desperately at that.

“I don’t know.” Shiro leaned down to kiss Keith, petting over his hair with a smile, soothing his anxiety. “It’s okay, baby. You’ll meet her, you’ll talk. It’ll all be okay.”

Keith nodded sharply and chuckled breathlessly. “I know.”

The radio fizzled with an attempted hail, and Shiro accepted it.

“I’m leaving the fighter now, please open your doors to receive me.”

Shiro winked at Keith, placed his helmet on, and Keith turned on his mask. The shuttle doors opened with a brief vacuum of pressure loss, and then the tall Galran woman landed with a grunt that echoed in their comms. Once the doors slid shut behind her - cabin repressurized - she pulled her helmet off with a sigh and a gratuitous smile.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” Shiro said, tentatively pulling his own helmet back off.

“My name is Krolia.” she extended her hand and Shiro took it with a smile.

“Nice to meet you, Krolia, I’m Shiro.” he said, and then he hesitated before he gestured to Keith.

Keith stood, unable to quell the way he shook, and stared at her.

Ulaz was right, she was purple. He didn’t know why he hadn’t been expecting that. She wasn’t a furred Galra, very sleek and tall, with hair just as much of a mess as his own, dark purple and magenta.

She was lovely.

She hardly looked old enough to be his mom, but her voice and her eyes were aged in a way that reminded him she was much older than her appearance.

He realized belatedly that the moment had been unnecessarily drawn out, and he reached up to remove his mask.

Krolia looked vaguely startled from the second his face was visible.

“My name is Keith.” he said, and he offered his hand for her to shake. Stiff and probably less welcoming than he’d like to be. But he couldn’t help the lingering resentment he felt for her. She did _leave_ him and his father, after all.

Krolia took his hand almost reverently, “Hello, kit.”

“Keith.” he corrected.

Krolia closed her eyes with a smile, “Keith.” she said it like it was something precious. Taking a breath, she exhaled a soft sound of distress, “Oh...I’m so sorry, Keith. If I’d have known I would have told your father, prepared you.”

Keith bristled, both at the confirmation that she knew who he was and the mention of his dad, “What? Prepared me for what?”

Krolia tilted her head, “Well the fact that you’re an omega.”

Keith laughed mirthlessly at that, “You’re a bit _late_ for that.”

Krolia sighed, “I suppose I am.” she said, “I’m sure you have questions.”

“Yeah. _A few._ ”

He didn’t mean that to come out so bitingly, but Krolia didn’t even look offended, she just seemed accepting of his scorn.

“Are you taking me to the castle, then?” Krolia asked, turning her attention to Shiro when he moved.

“Yes.” Shiro said, gone to take the pilot’s seat.

“I can’t stay.” Krolia said, and Keith looked up at her in surprise. “My mission isn’t done yet. If you'd be so kind I’ll need a shuttle, some supplies. The journey will take a couple weeks.”

Keith was flabbergasted, “ _What?_ You just found me and now you’re leaving me  _again?”_

Krolia turned to him, apathetic, “It’s important. I’ve been investigating the quintessence shipments Kolivan has been interested in. I believe I’ve located their source and I need to confirm it. Simple reconnaissance mission.”

Keith stared, glancing between her and Shiro.

“The...the pure quintessence? The...you _found_ it?”

“I believe I have.” Krolia said, “If you’ll allow me a ship, that is.”

Keith turned his gaze to the ground, frantically thinking over his options with a bated breath.

They needed the pure quintessence for Shiro…

Keith had been after it for so long and now it was handed to him on a silver platter. And though he frowned sadly at the conclusion he came to he didn't have it in his heart to delay this any longer. This was important, as she said. He straightened, determination swelling in his heart, “We will...if you take me with you.”

Krolia didn’t even need to consider it, she simply gave a single nod.

“What... _Keith?”_

Keith winced as he glanced over at his mate, sensing distress and confusion. Shiro was looking over his shoulder, wide eyed.

Keith approached him and bent over the seat, “Shiro." he murmured as he nuzzled against him, quiet for a moment. "She said it will be two weeks. She’s found it. You know we need it.” he murmured, “ _You_ need it. Please, it’s not for me. I just want to make sure I can secure some for us.”

Shiro nodded, and Keith hugged him at the wave of soft, numb acceptance he felt.

“You don’t need my permission, baby. You never do.” Shiro whispered.

“But I want it all the same.” Keith murmured.

“I’d prefer you didn’t go.” Shiro said, and Keith wilted, “But you _should_ go.”

Keith blinked at him, slowly nodding before he kissed at Shiro’s cheek. And then he stood, turning about to face Krolia.

He had questions, he wanted answers. But she was right, it was more important to finish her mission. Questions could wait.

“What all do you need?”

* * *

 

Keith didn’t stick around for introductions, he allowed Allura and the Paladins to crowd around his mother in awe and inquisitiveness. He himself simply slipped away into the shadows and off to prepare himself.

Of course Shiro followed.

Keith glanced over his shoulder and offered a sad smile, “I’m just packing.” he said, and Shiro caught up to him soon enough, interrupting him. Pulling him into a hug.

Keith nuzzled into his neck, took a deep breath of his scent, arms wrapped tight around his neck and pulling him ever closer. It felt like a goodbye, and he didn’t want that. It wasn’t a goodbye.

He came away from the hug, offered Shiro another smile, just as soft and sad as the previous, and he went to their room, collecting a pack and putting some necessities in it.

Keith took a blanket...and another because he could never have enough blankets, his casual clothing, another change of outfit in case he grew tired of his suit after two weeks. And then, after deliberation, he went and fetched Shiro’s vest, the one that used to belong to his father.

At the sense of questioning he got he only smiled, bringing the close vest to his heart, “Your scent.” he said, “Two weeks isn’t long but...well, the other times I went on missions I often found myself missing it.” he explained, turning on his heel with a small smile. “Missing _you_.”

Shiro sighed and approached him, “I don’t mind.” he murmured, “Just wish you weren’t going.”

Keith whimpered at that, pained at leaving Shiro yet again after he’d made himself promises not to. “I...I could stay.” he said, even though he knew he needed to go, even though he knew Shiro needed him to go, whether he wanted him to wasn’t a part of the question. “Or you could come with?”

“No.” Shiro shook his head with a soft smile, “I _have_ to stay, Voltron needs me. But she’s your mother. You should go with her.”

“But you don’t _want_ me to go.” Keith said, almost desperate that Shiro would beg him to stay.

“Of course I don’t. I never will. But I want you to get closure, I want you to get this chance. It’s one-on-one time with your _mother_ , Keith.” Shiro pressed, smiling heartily at that, stroking his, “Who am I to deprive you of that?”

Keith exhaled a sob and nodded, “God, Shiro. You’re far too good for me.”

“I hate it when you say that.” Shiro kissed his wet cheek. “You deserve everything I have, sweetheart.”

“Sometimes I wish you wouldn’t be so good. Wish you’d be selfish.” Keith laughed wetly, “But you deserve the same and more.”

“No competitions.” Shiro shushed, and Keith made a soft noise into the kiss. He wrapped eager arms around Shiro’s neck, pulled him down, deepened the kiss until he drew a moan from his mate’s lips. He hiked a leg up over Shiro’s hip, undulating against him.

“ _Mm_ -wha...Keith don’t you have to go?”

“You didn’t seem to have a problem delaying me last time.” Keith rasped, “Come on...I’ll be gone at least two weeks.” he said with a smile, watery as it was, slowly descending to his knees. “We should make the most of our last hour.”

 _“Hour?”_ Shiro stuttered. 

_Adorable._

“Krolia said she’d be ready within a varga and the others are distracting her.” Keith waved a hand, “Don’t talk about my mother right now.”

“I didn’t.”

Keith tutted and nuzzled against him, “I _did_ say I’d suck your dick. I never made good on that, did I?” he murmured as he pulled Shiro’s belt away.

Shiro exhaled a laugh, and Keith tried not to think about how he reigned in his emotions, trying to project only the positive at Keith.

Keith only smiled sadly up at him, taking a deep breath before he nipped at the iliac crest of Shiro’s hip, kissing a wet trail down until he met Shiro’s cock, not hard yet. Keith looked up in questioning.

“Sorry, just give it a second. You kind of gave me whiplash there, kitten.” Shiro murmured.

Keith bit his lip at the pet name and then took Shiro in his mouth even soft as he was, humming at the musky scent and taste, closing his eyes to savor it. He wouldn’t have it for a couple weeks, after all.

Shiro groaned at the slow motions of his tongue, and Keith whined when he started to harden in his mouth. He was too big for Keith to keep in, and he (unfortunately) soon had to pull back to suckle at the head while his hand took over what he couldn’t handle...yet.

Shiro stroked his fingers through Keith’s hair and exhaled shakily, hips jerking forward into his mouth, but restrained. Keith gripped onto his hips and pulled him forward, testing his own limits as he gagged a little, and looking up at Shiro through his lashes when he whimpered and tightened his hold in Keith’s hair. He let the tears prick at his eyes, both because he was rather choking himself on Shiro’s cock and because he was going to miss him, short as he’d be away.

“Baby…” Shiro rasped, voice tinged with a whine that had Keith pulling back with a parting lick and slowly stroking him off, panting raggedly and giving his throat a rest for a moment.

“Gonna miss you.” Keith murmured as he nuzzled against Shiro’s cock, closing his eyes and heaving a sigh while Shiro groaned and his cock twitched, prompting Keith to return to suckling teasingly at the head.

“Gonna... _ah_ , miss you too, Keith.” Shiro managed, breathless, hand tugging at Keith’s hair. And Keith drew him in deeper at that, moaning and quickening his pace, hand gone down to palm at himself through his suit. “Fuck.” Shiro gasped, and Keith did so in kind when he was suddenly hauled up so Shiro could practically smother him with a kiss.

Keith wrapped his legs around Shiro’s waist when he hoisted him up, and he laughed softly into the kiss when he was all but dropped onto the bed, Shiro rutting between his legs.

His fingers scrambled at his armor, pulling his suit away inch by agonizing inch until Shiro finally pulled away from his swollen lips enough to notice and help him. His suit was barely kicked down his legs before Shiro pushed them up to his chest and Keith whimpered as he pressed inside him without hesitation.

“Shiro.” he murmured in a whine, holding his sweet mate close while he fucked him down into the mattress like it was the last chance they’d have to do so. Keith managed a smile of amusement at that, breathy and gasping as it was. “ _Nnng!_ Fuck! Fuck, Shiro…” Keith tossed his head back while Shiro nipped and suckled over the scar on his neck, possessiveness and need overwhelming the bond until Keith yelped with his climax and Shiro pulsed with orgasm inside him.

Shiro bit down over his mating gland when he came, and Keith clutched tightly to him, fists curled into his hair while he waited for the ache to disperse.

Shiro slowly released him, licking over the gland before he went to kiss Keith thoroughly, tongue delving and pulling a lazy moan from him before he propped himself up on his elbows, panting and shaking.

Keith exhaled a laugh, blinking rapidly to quell the tears, and brushing his fingers over his mating gland to find Shiro hadn’t broken the skin, probably just bruised it. “Couple weeks.” he rasped, reaching up to palm sweetly at Shiro’s cheek, brush his disheveled hair back and tuck it behind his ear.

Shiro kissed at his wrist, heaving a sigh, “A couple weeks.” he repeated with a nod of finality.

Keith whined and pulled him down into a hug, nuzzling against his neck. “Glad I’ll have a piece of you for the trip.” he said teasingly.

Shiro laughed, “Gross, baby.”

“S’not.” Keith scoffed.

“It is.” Shiro said, “Your mom will probably smell it.”

“So?” Keith retorted, “I don’t care. Galra communicate through scent anyway.”

Shiro pulled back to offer Keith a fond smile, and Keith kissed him once more before they both seemed to sense they couldn’t put it off any further. Keith sat up with a groan and rolled his neck, standing on wobbly legs and rubbing a hand over his belly where he was lightly cramping. Probably gas...now _that_ was gross.

Keith snickered, clearing his throat when Shiro looked his way in curiosity.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” Keith said through a wobbling smile, unable to quite hide how funny he was finding his thought.

“It’s not nothing.”

Keith burst into laughter and shook his head, “It’s stupid.” he tried.

Shiro grinned, “You know I like stupid humor, Keith.”

Keith groaned and pulled his suit over his chest, exhaling another laugh, “I just...I have gas cramps and I w-was thinking it’d be dumb if I _f-farted_ while you were-” he cut himself off and blushed even as he cackled.

Shiro chuckled as he watched Keith catch his breath and hide his face in embarrassment. “You’re goofy, baby.” he said as he brought him in for a hug, “Always find ways to make me smile, don’t you?” he wondered endearingly, so very fond and loving and Keith found himself overwhelmed by that. He sniffled and buried his face in Shiro’s neck.

“Keith…”

“ _Sorry_.” he gasped, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Keith.”

Keith nodded and pulled back to smile despite himself, laughing a little at the absurdity of it. God, it wasn’t as if he was leaving forever. “It’s fine. _I’m_ fine. I love you.” he said, cupping Shiro’s face reverently, “Just two weeks. Two _goddamn_ weeks.”

Shiro laughed with glossy eyes of his own and kissed him, “Yeah. I’ll survive, baby.”

Keith scoffed a laugh, “Yeah? You sure?”

“Positive.”

Keith exhaled a sigh of relief at how easily Shiro had returned them to humor. It really would be alright. He’d spend some time hunting quintessence with his mother, he’d ask all the questions he’d been dying to ask since he was a little boy, and he would come back to Shiro with a potential cure before he knew it. Everything was going to be alright.

“I love you, Shiro.” Keith murmured again.

“I love you too, Keith.” Shiro replied with a soft nuzzle against his cheek. “Now go, before we get stuck in a loop of _I love you’s_.” he said with an affectionate peck on Keith’s lips and a swat on his admittedly sore ass to get him moving.

Keith chuckled and grabbed his bag, checking that he had everything he needed before he hoisted it over his shoulder and walked out with Shiro’s hand at the small of his back, comforting up until the very last second when he boarded the Altean shuttle with his mother. Shiro had no shame, thankfully, and kissed Keith to within an inch of his life before he boarded, and Keith sat in the seat smiling at Shiro’s shrinking form, and then the castle, before it finally grew too distant.

* * *

 

The quiet in the shuttle was so very...Keith-like, and he shifted at the uncomfortable reminder that this was his mother. That he was probably more like her than he wanted to accept.

Neither of them seemed eager to make conversation, and he hated the fact that he’d have to take a step if he wanted to start one. Already he wished Shiro was here to reassure him that he was doing the right thing, that he could do this and that his questions and the quintessence were worth stepping out of his comfort zone for a while.

Keith glanced over, found Krolia resolutely staring out into the empty cosmos while her hands gripped tightly to the steering. If she weren’t wearing gloves Keith was sure her knuckles would be white with tension.

She was just as scared as him, and that somehow made him sag in his seat, not even having realized just how tense he was.

Keith gulped and tucked his hair behind his ear nervously, “How did you find the source?” he wondered, wincing at the low volume of his voice.

Krolia seemed to relax at the question, and she took a deep breath before she spoke. “I’ve been stationed at General Ranveig’s base for some time now. And during a scouting mission he came across an unmanned cruiser, it had been ravaged almost beyond recognition and yet I found a single vat of a particularly unique strain of quintessence. No scientist on his base had seen the likes of it before, it’s more pure than anything we know exists.” she explained.

“Is it...what does it do? Do you still have it?” Keith wondered.

Krolia shook her head, “Unfortunately not. What he didn’t use in experiments was shipped away to the Emperor’s battleship.” she said. “As for what it does, I never got the chance to see what it could do without the influence of darker magic.”

Keith was disappointed, of course, but he refrained from any outward reaction.

“I see.”

Krolia glanced sideways at him, “Why are you so keen on it?”

Keith crossed his arms and shuffled in place.

“Keith, there’s no reason to be difficult, I can’t help you to my fullest if I don’t know why you are after this quintessence.” Krolia sighed.

Keith hunched his shoulders, “It’s for my mate.”

Krolia seemed to go tense again, “So...he _is_ your mate.”

“What of it?” Keith all but snarled.

Krolia reigned herself back at that, gone quiet again.

“You don’t _approve_ of him?” Keith couldn’t help the snark.

“It’s not that I don’t _approve_ of your mate.” Krolia said sharply, tensing and heaving a sigh as she set the shuttle on autopilot and leaned back in her seat. “It’s that I resent myself for missing so much of your life.” she murmured.

Keith trembled at that, “Well maybe if you hadn’t left us you could be there for all the milestones.” he snapped.

It felt cruel as soon as he’d said it, but there was no taking it back now. So he settled into his seat and stared resolutely at the dashboard of the shuttle. There was an itch to look and see how Krolia had reacted to his harsh words. But it was true! She left them.

It was silent for so long Keith found himself dozing off.

* * *

 

He gasped awake at the unfamiliar touch on his shoulder, slapping at the hand more out of instinct than any real malice. He sat up and rubbed a hand over his face, “I’m awake.”

“Seems you are.” Krolia said in mild amusement. “We’ve arrived at our destination.”

Keith blinked out the canopy and stared in awe at the display of cosmic wonder before him.

“What _is_ that?” he breathed.

“It’s been named the Quantum Abyss.” Krolia explained, “It’s how I discovered the origin of the shipments. The cruiser was saturated in radiation signatures that indicated it had passed through the Abyss.”

Keith fell back against his seat and exhaled an incredulous laugh. “I could have found it this whole time if I’d looked for _radiation signatures?”_

“Hardly. For one, you’d need to find the quintessence in the first place. And secondly, the Quantum Abyss isn’t exactly public knowledge.”

“Well maybe, but if _you_ know about it then Kolivan-“

“I didn’t always have time to deliver information so deep undercover on a remote base, Keith.” Krolia said. “I did - however - have time to _receive_ messages, and I will be having words with Kolivan for his failure to inform me that my _son_ happened to find his way to the Blades.” she muttered, perfectly aware that Keith could hear her.

Keith suppressed a smile at that, just giving a hum before he remembered and he pulled his blade from its sheath. “You probably want this back.” he said as he handed it over to her.

Krolia stared down at it for a moment, and then a smile brightened her features, “He gave it to you?”

“I’ve had it since I was eight. Didn’t know what it meant, of course.” Keith said.

“He never told you?” Krolia wondered, “Nothing at all?”

Keith gulped, “Dad...dad’s been _dead_ since I was eight.”

Krolia didn’t react outwardly aside from wide eyes, and then she abruptly turned back to steering the shuttle. “We’re approaching the Abyss, we have no reports of any kind as to what might be lurking inside. You should keep the blade, it’s yours now, after all. You might need it.” she said in a tone too professional to be genuine, what with the sudden, slight huskiness in her voice.

Keith let the dagger come to rest on his lap, waiting there awkwardly for a moment before he stood to go fetch his bag.

“You said the trip would take two weeks.” he said.

“Roughly.”

“Right, roughly. But if we’re already here then how could it take a couple weeks?” Keith asked.

“Because the neutron and dark stars create so much quantum havoc they could affect space-time itself. We could be here a day and weeks will have passed in the other quadrants. We could be here a month and a day will have passed, I don’t know the exact ratio of conversion.” she explained.

Keith stood up slowly, incredulous, “You’re telling me you don’t _actually_ know how long this will take? You couldn’t have mentioned this sooner?”

“It can’t take forever.” Krolia said, “These shipments are coming to and fro, remember? Ranveig often sent probes to try and figure out the source. They did pick up a relatively unaffected path...relatively being a polite descriptive. It’s worth the risk, in any case.”

Keith crossed his arms and sighed, “I sure hope it is.”

“First thing’s first is getting through the Abyss.” Krolia said, “Hold on to something, I don’t know how gravity will work here.”

Keith slipped into his seat and buckled himself in, taking a deep breath to ease his anxiety if only for a minute.

“In we go.” Krolia sighed.

There was no immediate effect aside from some minor adjustments to the gravitational pull of all the stars. And it was a smooth ride for the most part.

“It’s strangely quiet here.” Keith eventually murmured.

“Space is quiet.” Krolia pointed out.

“I mean...there’s just nothing out here. Aside from rocks and stars. I guess I’m used to seeing life in strange places like this.”

Krolia hummed, “Seems you don’t need to look much further.” she gestured to the side, and Keith looked.

The creature was absolutely massive, and if he hadn’t met a weblum before he would be intimidated. As it was, he would describe it as a whale.

“ _Woah_.” he breathed.

“Do you see that?”

Keith jumped and looked toward where Krolia had pointed.

“What? I don’t see anything.” he turned to her curiously.

“It was there a second ago.” Krolia murmured, pulling her gun from its holster and putting her helmet on. “Whatever it was, it was approaching. Didn’t seem friendly, I could be wrong but assuming otherwise is liable to get us killed. Keep your guard up.” she instructed, “I’ll pull us in close to the behemoth, I’ve seen the species in passing before, it won’t harm us.”

“You’re sure?” Keith wondered, looking around the empty asteroid field in paranoia.

Krolia rested her hand on his shoulder, “At ease, kit.” it was almost teasing, and for some reason it helped.

Keith nodded with a careful breath, his neck chilled with the effort of masking his scent to the point that it didn’t stink up the cabin anymore.

“There it is again-” Krolia gasped and jerked the shuttle to the side, and then a loud thud and a jostling of the ship had her grunting with the effort to right them again.

Keith braced himself and peered out to try and see what she was talking about.

“Whatever it is, it’s clinging to the engine.” Keith said.

“I can tell.” Krolia rolled them, and Keith grit his teeth, holding tight to his seat even though he was strapped in.

He was rather surprised to feel nauseous at the acrobatics. He gulped and ignored the feeling.

“I’m going to try and throw it off.” Krolia warned, and Keith nodded, bracing himself and closing his eyes tight as she barrel-rolled. He clutched to his stomach and took a deep breath, gulping again if only to stave off the nausea.

“You’re not going to hurl, are you?” Krolia wondered in half a yell, frustrated over the fact that the creature was still clinging.

Keith growled, _“I’m not-“_

She rolled again and then she let out a laugh of triumph. “Alright, we’re losing him now, hang on.”

Keith nodded furiously through his efforts to keep the meager contents of his stomach. She wasn’t flying so recklessly now, so it was easier, but still. He’d never been one to get motion sickness.

“So far off the trail already.” Krolia muttered to herself. “How did they get through this?”

Keith couldn’t respond, not before a bright light caught his attention and he finally opened his eyes to see a golden wave coming for them.

“What’s that?”

“Trouble, I’m turning us around.” Krolia said as she did so.

Keith was beyond relieved, sure, they were probably just regrouping to go back in with a better plan, but already he was overwhelmed with this place and bemoaning his churning stomach.

“You alright?”

“I’m fine.” Keith breathed.

“You look a bit green.”

“Just pilot please.” Keith whimpered, “Don’t remind me.”

Krolia didn’t comment further, and Keith gasped when the golden light suddenly enveloped them.

* * *

 

_~The space was empty and white, and Keith took a moment to realize he was somewhere else before he yelped and scrambled backwards. Glancing around just revealed more empty space._

_“Krolia?” he called hoarsely, stomach still lurching and yet muted. Most of his senses seemed to be._

_He got to his feet, and then the white faded away to a scene he was almost too far away to hear. Or at least he should have been. It was Krolia and his dad...holding **him**. Naming him. _

_Keith stared in astonishment before a soft wail from behind him made him spin to find the source._

_It sounded like a baby, him again?_

_He only seemed to delve into blackness, shifting between opalescent lights and pitch black until it settled upon something almost like lightning, dark and sinister and Shiro’s voice echoing unintelligibly until he could finally pick up what he was saying. Until he could pick up a dark image of him, backlit and radiating danger._

_But Shiro wasn’t_ **_dangerous_ ** _..._

_“Shiro?”_

_“I’m_ **_trying_ ** _, Keith. Please, I don’t know what’s_ **_happening_ ** _.”_

_His voice was pleading, wet like he was crying. Keith stepped forward, hand outstretched to help him._

_“What...Shiro?”_

_“Shiro please! I_ **_know_ ** _you’re in there!”_

_Keith reeled back at the echo of his own voice, and at the way Shiro began to advance._

_“Then you don’t know me_ **_at all.”_ **

_Keith fell back with a gasp as Shiro charged him._

* * *

 

The shuttle exploded with noise as Keith came to again with a terrified shout, and Krolia gasped as she began to wrestle with the controls.

“What _was_ that?!” Keith exclaimed, “What’s happening?”

“Must’ve clipped one of the asteroids during that, hold on, I gotta land this thing.” Krolia grunted.

“You saw it too?” Keith panted. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t panicking.

“Trying to concentrate, Keith.”

Keith nodded and closed his eyes as he ran through the vision in his head, distressed, curious... _terrified_.

Krolia brought them to a shaky, stuttering landing, as skilled as she was and as careful, the engine was surely busted and they skid a ways on the grassy surface they landed upon.

Grassy?

Keith shuddered, slowly beginning to hyperventilate despite his best efforts to remain calm.

“Keith? Keith, sweet kit, it’s alright. We’re safe.” Krolia was saying.

Keith heard her, he nodded and gasped for air, “I-I’m fine.” he panted.

Krolia rubbed a circle over his back, “That’s right. You’re alright, Keith.”

“I know...I _know_ I’m a-alright.” Keith tried to snark, “What were those v-visions?”

Krolia swept his hair back and sighed, “I’m not exactly sure. I know the Abyss warps time, so perhaps it alters one’s perception of time, offering glimpses into the past and the future.”

“That was the _future?”_ Keith whispered, breath slowly evening out even as ice settled into his veins and horror into his heart.

“Could be. There’s no guarantee it’s definite. Just like time, realities are always shifting.” Krolia explained.

Keith gently shrugged her touch away, and Krolia sat back in her seat with a sigh.

“Was that real? When I saw you and dad?” Keith wondered.

Krolia nodded, “I still think Yorak is an excellent name.”

Keith barked a laugh at that, imagining going through life on Earth named _Yorak_ and subsequently gone through the system with that name. It would’ve been ten times worse for him, he wagered.

“Is he really gone?” Krolia asked in a whisper.

Keith nodded.

Krolia crossed her arms in a show of insecurity that was hard to envision on someone who appeared so strong and confident. “I always imagined I’d go back someday. This war takes time away from you, you hardly even notice it's gone by.” she sighed. “Guess I should have taken the last chance I had.”

Keith bit his lip and stared down at the shuttle floor.

“You’d best put your mask on, I need to check the damage to the engine.”

Keith blinked up at her, startled at how easily she could go from open and emotional to clipped and professional. He supposed it was another trait he shared with her...in a sense. He wasn’t very good at being professional.

He turned on his mask and slowly stood, following her out from the shuttle.

“Why is there grass?” Keith wondered as he rubbed the heel of his boot into the surface.

“We’re on the behemoth.”

“The whale thing?” Keith glanced around and saw the tail in the distance. “That’s weird.”

“Seems like the port engine is pretty bent up.” Krolia sighed, “I can probably fix it but...it’ll take some time. I don’t know Altean tech.”

Keith grimaced, “I don’t know much about it either.” he turned to assess the damage. “I know how to fly it, and read the language, though. And I fixed hoverbikes back on earth. That can help a little, maybe?” he suggested.

Krolia nodded, bringing her arm up to open a scanner on her gauntlet, after typing for a moment she took her helmet off. “There’s a breathable atmosphere here. We’ll be fine without these.”

Keith relaxed and turned his mask off, “So there should be water too?”

Krolia shrugged, “I brought some with us, but when we run out… Hopefully, with an atmosphere there should be rain, but we don’t know for sure.”

“The shuttle has a water recycler.” Keith said, “If we get desperate.”

“That’ll come in handy.” Krolia mumbled as she began pulling the plating off the engine.

Keith looked around once more, “I’ll go scout the area then?”

Krolia nodded, and then a rumble made both of them pause.

“The light is coming again.” she said in a groan, standing up and coming to Keith’s side to stand in front of him, “Brace yourself.”

Keith glanced up at her while she stared down the coming wave of light. She was already putting herself before him, funny how he had expected her to be someone indifferent to him. But she constantly seemed to reach out to him. It was confusing, why would a woman who left him and his father treat him like something precious? Guilt? Regret? Or…

The light hit him again.

* * *

 

It was obvious the shuttle was not going to be fixed within a day or even a week.

“I can’t guess how long it’ll take to fix it.” Krolia sighed.

Keith rubbed at his temples, “So we should find someplace to set up camp, then?”

“I suppose so. Somewhere close by, the shuttle is fine for shelter but it won’t do for warmth.” Krolia agreed, “And I feel we should get a scope of the general landscape. Find a reliable water source.”

Keith nodded and turned on his heel, making for the nearest hill to look around. It wasn’t a terribly vast expanse of land, like a decently large island. The whale moved so slowly Keith could hardly feel it.

Krolia joined up with him soon enough, and they began walking, stopping every now and again to mark the flora so they would know which way they’d come from. They found a little cave less than five minutes away from the shuttle, hardly substantial but enough. And from there they continued to explore.

There was a collection of pools a few minutes away from the cave, and while it was water Krolia didn’t deem it quite sanitary, they’d have to use the recycler from the shuttle to drink it. Otherwise boil it.

“At least we found some.” Keith said as he studied the pool before him, “And we can have baths.”

“I do wish I was more prepared for an outcome like this.” Krolia said to herself, “I should have thought ahead more.”

“You brought food and water, though.” Keith pointed out.

“I didn’t bring a change of clothes.” Krolia chuckled.

Keith exhaled a similar laugh, “Well, I brought some spares. You’re bigger than me but maybe some of it will fit?” he suggested.

Krolia waved her hand dismissively, “I should be alright.”

“No, seriously, I brought some boxers and I have a spare shirt.” he eyed her up and down, “I don't think my pants would fit you, though.”

Krolia smiled, “Thank you, kit.”

“Keith.” he corrected, “Please.”

“It’s...a term of endearment from a mother-” Krolia explained.

“I know what it is, I just don’t feel like you have the right to use it.” Keith said, and Krolia crossed her arms as she turned away.

“Keith, I understand you’re angry with me, but…I didn’t _want_ to leave you.”

“You did anyway.” Keith muttered.

“ _Yes_ , I did anyway. To keep you and your father _safe_. The circumstances left me no choice. And it was the hardest thing I ever did, Keith.” Krolia said, turning to him with sincerity in her violet eyes that was almost painful for Keith to meet and keep his contempt.

“You can’t fix what it did to me in a day.” Keith murmured.

“I know that. But I can certainly start.” Krolia said.

Keith wilted at that, and he turned on his heel, headed back to the shuttle to fetch his bag when a comet flew overhead and crashed to the surface of the whale.

Keith glanced at Krolia as he pulled his blade out of its sheath, and she nodded as they began to run toward the crash site.

Upon arriving they found a small blue creature fighting off a few insectoids, and they quickly put the attackers down.

Keith pulled his blade free of the last twitching creature and turned with a grin of exhilaration to Krolia, “Meat?”

She chuckled, “Maybe the supplies can wait. I’d much rather eat a fresh kill too.” she said as she gestured for the blade, and Keith handed it to her so she might start dismantling the large creatures into smaller portions.

Keith approached the little blue creature, wolf-like in appearance, just enough that it was familiar and invited him to click his tongue and reach a hand out. “Hey little guy.” he murmured, “You alright?”

The animal sniffed at his hand and licked him, and Keith smiled when he drew close enough to nuzzle against his belly, sniffing intently there.

“Friendly, aren’t you?” Keith wondered, petting over his beautiful patterns and marveling at how soft he felt even through a glove.

The wolf nudged him in the belly and Keith laughed, stroking over his ears when he tilted his head.

“Did you make a friend?” Krolia called.

Keith was struck for a moment with how domestic the moment was, aside from the fact that they had just viciously slayed three massive creatures. He was with his mom, meeting what he could easily adopt as a pet, and they were going to prepare a home, a meal…

“Uh...y-yeah. I think I did.” Keith gulped, petting over the little pup’s head before he stood. “Need some help?” he asked as Krolia started to haul a big haunch away from the beast.

“A little.” Krolia said with a grunt.

Keith went to start dragging a leg in a similar fashion, though the pup ran in front of him and yapped at him. Keith blinked down at the wolf before he sidestepped him.

And the pup did it again, snarling a little this time, he ended with a whine before he nuzzled against Keith. And then, in an astonishing move, the pup went to bite the creature, it and the carcass disappearing in a flash that left Keith stunned.

“Oh.” Keith breathed, and then the pup materialized again, wagging his tail at Keith before he repeated the process with the last two carcasses.

Krolia came back shortly and chuckled, “I guess relocation won’t be an issue.” she mused.

"What did he do?"

Krolia crossed her arms with a shrug, "They're all back at the cave." 

Keith nodded as the pup appeared beside him and sat down beside his leg, panting lightly. “That’s incredible.” he said.

“We could perhaps move the shuttle closer to the cave later, if your friend is willing to help.” Krolia glanced down at the pup and he only tilted his head at her. “Come, let’s get some dinner going and we’ll see about getting started on the shuttle.” Krolia beckoned him and Keith followed, smiling down at the pup as he followed at a happy trot.

* * *

 

They settled into a consistent, comfortable routine. The light came unpredictably, sometimes only once a day, sometimes only once a week, and sometimes ten times a day.

Keith saw many things, glimpses of his own life, glimpses of Krolia’s, tidbits of her time on Earth that always left her seeking his gaze with a hopeful, yet sad smile.

Sometimes they saw moments that left him covering his face in embarrassment as Krolia smirked from across the fire. And others that made him stare at the ground and Krolia rub at her temples in her own embarrassment, though it was more awkwardness, she was his mother after all. Galra weren't shy about sexuality, but _that_ was a line in the sand he had never meant to cross and Keith often wished for a way to tap out. 

...they were getting there. _Bonding_.

When Keith had eventually pulled out his dad’s old vest to wear Krolia looked to be on the verge of tears and she left the camp for two hours before she came back and behaved as if it had never happened.

Maybe someday she wouldn’t be afraid to be vulnerable in front of him. And vice versa.

* * *

 

Keith rubbed at his feet with a wince, the boots the Marmora used weren’t exactly designed for the terrain, he supposed, and it was taking forever to get used to walking around on the lumpy soil.

“Don’t _your_ feet hurt?” Keith wondered absently.

Krolia held up a hand while she finished her current bite of meat, “Not really.” she sighed, “I mean, general soreness. Why? Are yours bothering you?” she set down her dinner and went to sit cross-legged at Keith’s feet.

“Yeah- _Ah_...what are you doing?” Keith asked when she pulled his foot into her lap.

“Helping you.” Krolia said as she kneaded into the soles of his feet.

“You don’t have to.” Keith murmured.

Krolia looked up with a smile, “I want to.” she simply said, turning her gaze back down again to add in a rather morose tone, “Consider it making up for all the times I wasn’t there.”

Keith bit his lip and nodded, “Okay.” he rasped, leaning back and petting at the pup where he was resting beside him, and at his touch he lifted his head to rest it on Keith’s belly, sniffing at him before he went to sleep again.

Keith sighed at the slow bleed of relief.

“You loved my dad a lot, didn’t you?”

Krolia’s hands paused on his foot, and Keith blinked at the ceiling of the cave, disbelieving that he had even said it, but...there was more than enough evidence over the past few weeks to prove it.

“I do. Very much.” Krolia murmured.

Keith had to fight tears at her use of present tense.

“You...you really wanted to go back someday?”

“More than anything, but you wouldn’t have been safe.” Krolia sighed, “I couldn’t live with myself if I had lured the wrath of the empire down upon my mate and my kit.”

“Why didn’t you take us with you?” Keith wondered, “I...I mean if you did I wouldn’t have met Shiro but...why _didn’t_ you?”

“Because I simply couldn’t.” Krolia said. “Not much room in a fighter, back then.” she explained.

“Then why didn’t you come _back?”_ Keith prodded.

“Because I couldn’t.” Krolia said, “I had to ward the Empire away from Earth.”

“We could have stayed on the base.”

Krolia sighed, “A top secret base that if ever discovered would be obliterated, at least on Earth there was no reason for the Empire to be interested in harming you.”

Keith slumped back in defeat. There really was no getting around her argument.

“Dad loved you a lot.” he murmured.

Krolia smiled sadly, “He did.” she whispered, “He was a good man.”

Keith nodded, “Yeah. You know he...he was a hero, in the end. He saved a whole family from that fire.”

Krolia’s smile stayed, her eyes gone glossy, “Of course he did.” she sighed.

“I resented him for it.” Keith continued, and Krolia looked up in surprise. “For a while. I hated that him being a hero meant I was alone.”

Krolia was quiet.

“But...I forgave him, and myself, when I realized I would have done the exact same thing. I’ve tried to, in fact.” Keith smiled fondly at the thought, “Shiro was furious.”

Krolia chuckled quietly, “I’m sure he would be. And I’m glad for it.”

Keith hummed.

“I like him, from what I see of the two of you. I don’t think anyone deserves to be mated to my kit more.” Krolia added casually.

“ _Heh_...gross mom.” Keith blushed, and he glanced down when Krolia went still again.

“What?”

Krolia shrugged and bit her lip, “That’s the first time you’ve called me your mother.” she said.

Keith didn’t even realize, and he was...well, glad to finally have gotten comfortable enough to say it. It didn’t mean he was over his grief, but the progress was there, and he was glad for it.

“I guess it was.”

* * *

 

Keith woke up in the middle of the night, groaning. He needed to piss so bad it hurt.

He got up, grunting more than was strictly necessary for the task, and hobbled out somewhere more discreet to do his business. He stared up at the sky during. You couldn’t exactly tell night from day. Night was when they got tired, day was when they were awake. That was basically the deal. It sucked that it was always so bright, except when it rained, Keith liked sleeping when it rained, the clouds made it dark enough that he could actually sleep without the brightness disturbing him. As it was the stars and the abyss surrounding them glowed gold at all hours.

Infuriating.

Keith kicked some dirt over his business and walked back to settle down again, heaving a long, exhausted sigh of relief.

It was then that he first felt it.

Keith squirmed at the feeling, rubbing over his stomach in discomfort. It was almost...like a flutter. And if he wasn’t half asleep he would probably be more concerned, but he only slipped right off to sleep again. He’d vaguely remember it in the morning and dismiss it as gas, again.

* * *

 

“Do you think it’s been as long outside the Abyss?”

Krolia made a noise of consideration, “I hope not, they’ll be wondering where we are at this point.”

Keith nodded, staring out at the slowly moving cosmos. “I promised him two weeks.” he murmured.

Krolia stopped her fiddling with a motherboard from the shuttle and stood to go sit beside him. “I’m sorry, Keith. This is my fault.”

Keith shrugged, “Not really. _You_ were prepared for this. I’m the one who insisted on coming along. And…” he hummed with a sad smile, “I’m glad you’re not stuck here alone.” he said as he turned to her.

Krolia smiled and drew him into a hug, hesitant and yet Keith welcomed it, so used to affectionate touch as he was, he’d grown to miss it the four weeks he’d been without. He nuzzled against her and Krolia let out a purr, drawing him in close and pressing a sweet kiss to his temple.

* * *

 

Keith growled and sat up. He’d been tossing and turning for a couple hours now, wasting the night away, and he heard Krolia stir more than once at his restlessness. He couldn’t exactly help it...or at least as much as he tried he couldn’t.

Keith was feeling needy.

It was a feeling he was missing until it hit him again in the middle of nowhere, galaxies away from his mate.

It wasn’t a heat kind of needy, but it was close, and Keith squirmed before he stood, legs pressed tight together and his lips pulled back in a grimace at the feeling of slick running down at the pull of gravity.

“Shit…” Keith whispered as he tip-toed out of the shelter. He really didn’t want his mom anywhere nearby while he dealt with this.

He eventually settled next to the pools and kicked his boxers off, whimpering at the chill in the air as he lay back against the soft grass and reached down to pry two fingers inside himself without hesitation.

He’d forgotten how awkward it was to deal with it alone.

Keith whined and growled at the lack of relief, not like he had been seeking, like what he remembered Shiro’s cock felt like. Eyes fluttered closed, he took a deep breath and relaxed, imagining thicker fingers, a warm tongue. Slowly, teasingly, he thrust his hand, drawing a soft whimper from his own lips as he continued the fantasy. He’d love for Shiro to tease and lick over his mating mark, make him shudder and whine for a whole new reason aside from his frustration.

And he’d love for Shiro to fuck him until he saw stars, but he knew Shiro, and Keith knew that when he wanted _that_ Shiro liked to tease him more. Liked to draw it out and make Keith beg and cry for it.

Keith wouldn’t deny that he liked begging for more.

“ _Fuck_.”

Keith gasped as he rubbed the heel of his palm over his chest, and he hiked his shirt up at the feeling, pausing to tweak and roll a nipple between his fingers. Strangely oversensitive and euphoric when he did so. He bit his lip so the noises wouldn’t carry back to the cave, eyes screwed shut and his fingers working fast despite his attempts to go off of a fantasy, a very good one, granted, but one he didn’t have the patience for right now.

_What would Shiro say?_

Keith exhaled a laugh at that, one that turned into a moan as he spurt white over his belly in a startling orgasm that he hadn’t even felt coming. He slowed at that, blinking watery eyes up at the stars while his fingers played leisurely over his chest and up from a wet hole to drag lazily over his cock, still hard and aching for more, It would seem.

Keith stroked himself, pinching at his nipple and whimpering as he went faster, desperate to achieve relief.

“ _Shiro_ …”

Keith couldn’t help the moan, back arching as he gasped for air and thrust up into his own fist, feet planted in the cool dirt, toes curling. “Please, please…” he mumbled, biting at his knuckle to fight his cry when he brought himself over the edge again.

Coming down left him satiated, the itch that had been bugging him all night finally gone, and yet…

Keith went lax and panted, eyes closed against the bright gold of the Abyss.

_Shiro..._

He missed him.

Keith slowly sat up, peeling his shirt off and hoisting himself to his feet so he could dip into one of the pools...the one they’d deemed to be used for bathing. The water wasn’t hot, but it was just warm enough to be soothing, supposedly because the whale’s body heat made it so.

Keith rubbed the sweat and spunk from his skin, biting his lip as his chest clenched with the downward spiral of his thoughts. He missed Shiro. He _missed_ him and he was scared to leave him waiting. He was terrified of that, actually. He couldn’t help but expect to come back to Shiro and have truly been gone for months or worse. He knew what that was like and he absolutely _dreaded_ putting Shiro through that.

He dreaded the thought that perhaps he already _was_.

Keith drew in a ragged breath and wiped at his cheeks with a wet hand, growing frustrated and wiping continuously at them when the tears wouldn’t stop.

He supposed his quick talk with Krolia didn’t make him feel any better.

He choked on a muted sob and settled on covering his eyes instead of his futile effort to wipe away the evidence of his emotions.

He missed Shiro so goddamn much. He wondered what he was doing now, whether he was happy or sleeping well.

He was telling the truth when he told his mom he was glad he came. He was really warming up to her, and he truly didn’t want her to go through this alone. But all the same, he did wish Shiro could have come with him. At the very least so he would know what was going on. So he would know Keith was safe and Keith could know Shiro was safe. So Shiro could have been the one to take care of his need.

Keith sniffled and splashed some water on his face, exhaling a shaky sigh as he hefted himself out of the pool and went to collect his clothes. Afterward ambling back to the shelter with a defeated sigh as he settled down upon the blanket he called a bed.

His wolf stirred and offered him a soft, questioning whine.

“I’m okay.” Keith murmured, nuzzling into his soft fur and closing his eyes, willing the next wave of tears to go away.

A hand gently stroked over his arm, and Keith stiffened when he heard and felt Krolia sit beside him.

“I’m fine.”

“Alright.” Krolia replied, hand gone to thread through his somewhat damp hair, nails grazing against his scalp and giving him chills.

“I _am_.” Keith insisted, and Krolia only hummed in acknowledgement.

“ _Mom-“_ Keith choked out, and she turned to lay down behind him, drawing him close and hugging him. “I’m _not_.” Keith rasped, “I’m not okay.”

“I know, sweet kit.” Krolia murmured, “I’m here.”

She really was like him, he supposed. She knew he didn’t need to talk about it, he just needed her to be there, and she was, without questioning.

It almost made him admit to himself he loved her. And that he was starting to get tired of hanging on to his resentment.

Keith gasped over his sob, and the wolf licked at his cheek, made him smile despite his quiet crying. Krolia’s supporting, comfortable warmth from behind, his wolf to hug onto, it soothed him into sleep despite his turmoil, and in the morning he woke with a smile, hugged his mom, because she deserved one, and he had never seen her smile like that before.

He wanted to see it more.

* * *

 

Shiro rubbed at his temples, grown utterly tired of the deep headache behind his eyes that just wouldn’t go away.

Keith had been gone for a few days now, no communication. And he supposed that made sense, it was probably risky to send out a transmission from wherever he was at with his mother. He could only hope they were getting along well at this point.

“You seem tired lately.” Coran said.

“Yeah, but...well, I don’t usually have energy when Keith’s not around.” he chuckled wryly when the Altean sat beside him.

“I suppose you don’t.” Coran said, “But I do want you to know, if you’re feeling particularly down or unwell, I’m always available to help you, whether it’s a listening ear or medicinal in nature.”

Shiro nodded, “Thanks, Coran.” he sighed, “I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for everything you’ve done for the both of us, you know?”

Coran waved a hand, “It was the decent thing to do.”

“And you went above and beyond.” Shiro insisted, placing his hand on Coran’s shoulder, “Thank you. You’ve been like a father to me.”

Coran chuckled nervously, “I feel like Keith has said the exact same at some point.”

Shiro laughed, “He probably did, but it’s true. And I’m sure you’ve saved his life and mine more than once.”

Coran softened and smiled at him, “Thank you, Shiro. You and the other Paladins have come to mean the universe to me. You’re like the children I never had.”

Shiro scoffed with embarrassed delight at that and drew the older man into a hug.

“All hands on the bridge.” Allura’s voice came on the comms and the two drew apart with pats on the back and went to their stations.

* * *

 

Keith sat himself down with a long groan, rubbing at his back and wriggling his feet, glad to be free of his shoes after a day of foraging around for roots. He leaned back against the smooth cavern wall and closed his eyes, heaving a sigh. Krolia would be gone for a while, she usually was this time of day, meditating or something. Keith was too tired right now to be interested.

He was just nodding off when he felt it, again, this time in clarity.

He gasped at the feeling, almost ticklish, like...like a flutter?

Keith blinked up at the ceiling, bleary and wondering if he had imagined the feeling deep down in his gut. After a moment gone by he dismissed it, yawning and settling down for a nap.

Only to sit up and press his hand to his belly when it happened again. Keith stared at the fire, crackling low in the pit.

It _was_ a flutter, like when Shiro’s lashes would brush against his cheek sometimes, and yet foreign, almost unexplainable.

Keith frowned when he remembered that he had felt it before - maybe a week or so beforehand - and he got to his sore feet, crossing his arms uncomfortably as he sought out Krolia.

There was a sneaking suspicion in the back of his mind, one that he was hardly even aware of, much less willing to acknowledge.

She was by the ponds when he found her, ruffling her hair dry with a blanket...he was glad he hadn’t come a few minutes earlier.

“Hello, Keith.” Krolia greeted pleasantly. She was far more comfortable in the extra pair of boxers and the t-shirt Keith brought, and it was almost funny to see a Galra dressed in such Earthy clothes. As it was, Keith had grown used to it.

“Hey, mom.” Keith said absently, gone to sit beside her.

“What’s up, Keith?” Krolia wondered at his dour expression, already petting through his hair in that special way of hers that always made him shiver with goosebumps. She had a magic touch, he supposed, “You look upset.”

Keith shuffled, “I'm not upset. More... _freaked out_...um...mom?” he glanced up at her through his bangs.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Krolia prodded.

Keith laughed, “ _No_ , no, don’t call me that. Shiro calls me that, it’s too weird.”

Krolia smiled, “Alright, I won’t call you that, kit.” she conceded, “What’s freaked you out?”

Keith grimaced, “I don’t know, I...just felt something funny.”

“Funny how?” Krolia wondered. 

“Like...you know what a butterfly is?” Keith wondered.

“Yes I do.”

“Okay, like that, but in my belly?” Keith suggested, shrugging as he turned to look at her, “Like...it sounds crazy but it felt like something _moved…”_ he suggested with a nervous laugh.

Krolia stared at him for a moment, the smile slowly slipping from her lips, “When was your last heat, Keith?”

Keith considered that, “Uh...maybe...almost three months ago? Why?”

Krolia drew in a sharp breath, and then she covered her mouth, a startled noise escaping her. “ _Fuck_. I thought it was just your scent...I’d never scented you before.” she whispered, “I should have known the _moment_ I met you…”

Keith blinked, “What?”

“Keith, your mate, he was with you on your last heat.”

It wasn't a question. 

Keith’s heart dropped through his stomach in realization of what she was trying to decipher. Confirmation of what he was in denial of.

_Oh fuck._

“I-uh...he _was_.” Keith stuttered.

Krolia nodded and gently rubbed his shoulder, a slight smile given as she spoke, “Keith. You’re pregnant.”

There it was, out in the open, and Keith exhaled a laugh, tittering and nervous, “Mom...I’m not...I _can't_ be. Coran always gives me a preventive. He-“ Keith gasped and pressed a hand over his stomach, “He didn’t give it to me last time.” he whispered.

“I thought it was just your scent.” Krolia rubbed a hand over her face, laughing incredulously, “I should have _known_ , they say omegas smell spicy and sweet, especially so when in heat or pregnant, I thought you just smelled sweet because of a lingering heat at first, then because I didn’t give any more thought to it, and I just thought it was how you smelled...” she trailed off breathlessly.

“Mom...I’m not.” Keith rasped, “I _can't_ be.” he exhaled a wet sound. “No. No I can’t be. Not here, not without Shiro.” he stood and began to pace.

“Keith-“

“We don’t know how long we’ll be here. He’s going to miss everything, Shiro’s going to _miss it,_ I wanted-if it was possible I wanted him to be _here_ with me.” he all but whimpered.

Krolia intercepted him when he began to panic, “ _Keith_...Keith my sweet boy.” she pulled him into a hug, “Deep breaths for me.”

Keith gulped in air and buried his tears in her neck, taking in her soothing scent and gone slack in her arms.

“You’re a father now, Keith. You need to look after yourself, don’t stress.” Krolia kissed his hair and Keith nodded through a hiccup.

“I...it’s my baby.” he said in a gasp of realization.

“It is.” Krolia said.

Keith pulled back, laughing wetly as he wiped at his eyes, “Mom...I... _fuck_ it’s weird. I’m _pregnant_.” he chuckled, “It’s my… _Shiro’s_ baby.” he pressed a hand to his belly, “You can’t even tell! I thought the belly grew.” he murmured in wonder.

Krolia laughed softly, “It does, kit. But not so soon.” she gently covered his hand, “You’re barely a few months along, after all.”

Keith nodded slowly, “I...have no idea what to do.” he rasped in realization, panic settling back in.

“That’s alright, Keith. Because I _do_ .” she said assuringly, “First things first, let's make sure you’re eating more.” she said as she began to lead him back to the shelter.

“Okay.” Keith sniffled and wiped at his face again.

"We'll keep sparring, you still need exercise, but we're going to limit that to thirty minutes a day, if you're feeling restless we can go for a walk, and you're going to rest as much as you can otherwise." 

Keith nodded, shaking as he sat down beside the embers of the fire. 

The pup came up to him and sniffed at his belly, looking up at him with a whine at his tear-stained cheeks and his tremors. 

Keith exhaled a breathy laugh, petting at his soft ears. Suddenly the wolf's actions the day they met made sense, he didn't want Keith hurting himself trying to drag that massive carcass.

"You knew..." Keith murmured, and the pup only tilted his head before he nudged at Keith's belly again and rested his head atop it as he lay down. Keith glanced up at Krolia, "He _knew_." he said again, and she only sighed.

"He sees more than we do, it would seem." 

Keith laughed softly again, lovingly petting over the pup's fur. 

He spent the rest of the evening dragging his fingertips over his belly, astonished that it had even happened and terrified of it. Imagining his stomach all swollen and despite the initial nightmarish concept of it he was just...happy. It was weird but he was happy. He had no fucking clue how he was going to get through this but Krolia was there, she promised to help him. And Keith knew this much: that he was going to do everything in his power to keep his baby, _Shiro’s_ baby, safe.

It was funny, maybe it was because he wasn’t looking for it before, but now he was pretty sure his belly was just the _slightest_ bit rounded. Just a little. The thought made him smile, and the next time he felt that flutter he gasped.

“Give me your hand!” he gestured for Krolia, and she only smiled fondly at him.

“I’m afraid only _you_ can feel the kit right now, Keith.” she explained.

Keith pouted, but only momentarily, for he felt movement again.

He went to sleep that night curled up in Shiro’s vest, adrenaline, excitement and fear keeping him awake longer than he should be. The cloth was losing Shiro's scent, slowly but surely, and yet it was still a vast comfort.

“We have a baby.” Keith murmured to the cool air, “Shiro…there’s a piece of you inside me.” he drew the vest up to his face nuzzled into it with a giddy smile.

He could only hope he would get back before the birth. He didn’t even know _when_ that would be, Krolia said she had carried him for eleven months, and he would likely carry for at _least_ nine, likely ten. Similar to what Coran had once guessed. A frightening thought, but comforting in the sense that he had more time to get home to Shiro before the baby came. He hoped beyond all hope Krolia was right about the space-time warping, and that Shiro wouldn’t be waiting for the entirety of those months.

“I’ll be home soon, Shiro.” Keith whispered, rubbing over his belly with a sad smile, “ _We_ will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S HAPPENING!!!  
> Also here's that link again in case you didn't want to be spoiled.  
> [Wee drawing](https://d2pqhom6oey9wx.cloudfront.net/img_original/1190282295d7c8e7d1477b.png)  
> Okay! I finally fuckin did it and it only took me over 145k of the estimated _TOTAL_ of 80k words this story was _supposed_ to be haha! Ugh...
> 
> Keith is _finally_ pregnant y'all. He's around 3 months now and next chapter is gonna be Adventures in Mpreg. I guess the rate of conversion for how much time passes is _roughly_ 1 day = 1 month in the Abyss, give or take a day or a week depending on distortion, y'know? But overall, no matter how long Keith is gone it's only gonna be 2-3 weeks for Shiro. 
> 
> Poor Krolia, she's doing her best. Keith sees the flashes of the past a bit slower in this version, more like over the course of the month he's been there instead of one hour lol, so sure by the end he's warmed up to her but they aren't at the whole _No More Resentment_ phase quite yet.
> 
> The reason she didn't notice at first was because mostly surprise. She was pretty shocked to see Keith and she didn't take too much into account aside from her initial scenting. She is an alpha and she smelled different during pregnancy too, but not like an omega. She'd never scented a pregnant omega before, and she'd never scented an _adult_ Keith before, so...she made assumptions based on limited experience. (She's older by human terms but she's young in the eyes of Galra. And omegas aren't usually in military positions in the Empire, precious as they are, she didn't spend much time around them, if at all)
> 
> (Lotor knew though 👀, too bad he got interrupted trying to tell them ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)
> 
>  **Important:** Also, next chapter has some I _guess_ squicky stuff, as explained in this poll. I know the mpreg is what you're all here for but I felt like I should ask, [Question](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Jy_Q-vRo5IM1Hzz7DS0jDsDTDHsqZWvsNsy9KTMRW9Q/edit). Please do answer so I can better curate the next chapter for your enjoyment :3 
> 
> We're kind of in the final stretch now. Should be more Shiro and Lotor and maybe some paladin development if I can fit it in there next chapter. 
> 
> Time to bring the baby into the picture ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

**Author's Note:**

> Please inform me if I've missed tags, feel free to ask questions too.  
> [Tumblr](http://crazyaniknowit.tumblr.com/)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Crazyaniknowit)  
> 


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